Trudy1964

Jester, You give me such hope. The 16th of this month was the 9 month mark of my Mom's passing. I miss her so much I can't stand it. I am hoping the anticipation of the next few months will be harder than the actually coming and going of these days. Her b-day, Mother's day, my daughter's 8th grade graduation ceremony, finding out she was sick, loosing her so quickly and finally the 1 year mark of her death. I do laugh sometimes but there is always something missing. Thank you for a glimpse of our grief journey into the future. It truely gives us hope that some peace can be found. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Walt, I will keep you in my prayers as the next week will bring you painfull memories. I hope since it was your precious Jeannie's birthday, you will also be able to focus on some fond memories that you spent together. I know that is not always easy. Grief seems to get in the way alot. My Mom's b-day is May 7, May 13th-Mother's Day, June 2-Mom's first complaint, June 21-diagnosed with lung cancer, July 16-she passed. As you can see, the next few months are going to be quite painful for me also. I wish I could just take a long nap and not wake up until the end of August. (My b-day is in Aug. Mom always called me 1st thing in the morning.) Together Walt, one day at a time, we'll all get through this. I'm trying to break it down. Thinking of all those dates together is just to overwelming. I'm just going to take one day at a time (or at least try). I'm sure many tears will be shed. Many, many tears will flow. That's all I can do. That, pray, post & read here, and depend on my family & friends. One day at a time..... Missing my Mom, Trudy

That was a beautiful dedication. The world is better place for having Karen in it. My only regret is never having met her. You and Carson were truly blessed. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Do the holidays ever get better? Today was just a Sunday. I almost chose to just not participate at all. I decided that was not fair to my husband who has been so wonderful to me since my Mom died almost 9 months ago.It just feels like nothing is what it used to be. I don't laugh completely when I laugh. We have a travel trailer. I have no interest to camp. Some times I even feel like selling it. Counselor says I shouldn't make any major decisions for at least a year. Any advice? I think I'm in the wrong area! You guys were talking about the holidays. Thanks for listening, Missing my Mom, Trudy

Annie, My heart goes out to you for the decisions you have to make. You've already been through it once. Going through it again so soon has got to be extrememly painful. My only advice is follow your heart and make decisions that you can live with later. Before my Mom found out she was dying from cancer, we found out she had a kidney disease. She was heading for dialysis. Her choice was not to take the treatment. The hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life was make sure she understood that without dialysis her kidneys would eventually fail and she would die. Being 75, she didn't understand a lot of the medical terms. We thought we had time down the road to worry about that. That, however, is not what she died from. She never got to that point. She got her wish--no dialysis. Instead, we found out she had lung cancer. Again she chose no treatment. And again, I had to make sure she understood what that meant. I'm not sure if she made her decision for her or for us. My Mom was that kind of a Mom. She didn't want to be a burden on us. Anyway, my point is I signed the do not resucitate because I knew my Mom didn't want to live that way. I don't loose sleep over that. I loose sleep because I have a broken heart and miss her so very much. I'm not sure if this will help you any. You know your Dad. My Mom would not have wanted to live that way. I pray God will help you find an answer. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Oh Annie, My heart breaks for you. I wish there was something I could say to make it better. Just know that your friends here are praying for God to give you the strength you need to get through this. We're here to listen. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Lori, Happy Birthday in advance. It will be bittersweet. My birthday was only 3 weeks after she passed. She was always the first one to call me in the morning. But like you said we're here because of our parents. They are still with us. I feel her always. My prayers to you for a peaceful day. Missing my Mom, Trudy

I can't wait till that moment happens when I see my Mom again. Thanks Kayc. Missing My Mom, Trudy

Annie, You will be in my thoughts and prayers in the days ahead. Missing my Mom, Trudy

That's so beautiful Shelley. I know it made your Mom smile. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Doubledd, I am so sorry for your loss. Unfortunately, we are all too aware of your pain. My Mom passed a little over 8 months ago. Take one day at a time. Sometimes you may feel like that is too much. Do in your heart what you can handle. Don't handle what others tell you that you should. Everyone travels through this grief journey at their own pace. Everytime you think "OK, I'm might just make it." Some little insignificant thing will happen and send you right back down again. I truly don't think we'll ever be the same people we were before this experience. But you've come to the right place. Having all these wonderful friends here who are going through the same thing is just my "sanity" somedays. Keep posting. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Friends, I don't post very often anymore. But the first thing I do in the morning is check this site. The last thing I do at night is check this site. I say a special prayer for all of my friends going through the same horrible pain I am going through. Bless you all. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Derek, I haven't reached that bump in the road yet. It's still a little over 2 months away (the one year mark) that I lost my Mom. I agree, Derek, sometimes you just feel like you are almost right back at the biginning. I think it's a good idea that you are going to keep Carson home from school. You can try and celebrate her life together instead of remember her death. I know Karen is so very proud of both of you. Remember, she is always with you and Carson. I'm sending you a special prayer. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Janine, I am so sorry for your loss. As you already know, we are here for you. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Annie, It's the things that we took for granted or even the things that kinda got on my nerves a little bit that I miss the most. Right now it's raw pain. In time to come, (when your ready) everytime you see a sunset, you'll be able to say "hello, Mom." Your Mom is shining those warm rays on you and your family so glad that you are keeping the tradition going. I agree with Lori, give your self time. You have been through a lot. You still have quite a bit to go through. My Mom had been gone for 8 months. I say fruit parfait in wal-mart today and almost burst into tears. (My neice bought her some trying to get her to eat something when she no longer had an appetite). It just takes times and just when you think your getting a grip it surprises you. I'm saying a special prayer for you as we have all been where you are. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Annie, I'm sorry you were having such a bad day. The second month after my Mom died is when it really hit home for me. Then it was hell until the 6th month. It's not great now. Then again, I don't think it will ever be again. At this point every where I go, I see her. Fresh warm bread at the grocery stores brings tears to my eyes. I'm glad you had a good cry and was able to get some of it out. Crying is a part of the healing process. It's such a difficult journey we are on. Together we'll all make it... Missing my Mom, Trudy

Aw, Daddylivesforever, what a beatiful story. Your father was a giant of a man in every sense of the word. What a great honor it would have been to have known him. I work with special needs children so I know what a challenge that can be sometimes. But I also know what a blessing it is and how lucky your Daddy was to have you as you were to have him. He is at peace in heaven so proud of the person you have become. Your mom missed out on so much. God Bless you. Missing my Mom, Trudy

David, I don't think you can truly understand your poems unless you are where we are. Thank you for putting our feelings to words. I am soooo very sorry for your pain. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Kayc, I know we'll all survive this and I think you're right. We'll never be the same.... Missing my Mom, Trudy

Daddylivesforever, Welcome to our family. I only wish you were joining us for another reason. I lost my Mom in July of 07. I miss her terribly. This site has helped me more than I can say. I don't always post. Just knowing others are going through the same thing and that I am not alone is so very helpful. Keep coming back. We are always here for you. God Bless. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Lori, Thanks for your post. I have been dreading attending a funeral. I know it's coming but not knowing my reaction, have been avoiding it at all cost. Your reaction has taken some of the edge off and made me realize it might not be so bad. My first cousin is dying of cancer. I am already praying for strength when the time comes..... Missing my Mom, Trudy

I don't know what to tell you Annie except we'er always here to listen. My heart goes out to you. Pray that God will give you the strength to get through. Hope you enjoyed the sunshine. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Kelly, I don't want to be where you are right now but I know it's coming. I know we all have to experience "the firsts" of everything. Your never alone. We are always here for you. The good thing about this site is we a only talk back when you talk to us. Maybe your Dr. could help you out with an excuse to get you out of jury duty. Anxiety and emotional stress and explain why. I don't think I could keep my mind on a case right now either. Good luck. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Shelley, The disinterest is normal. Nothing seems important anymore. I'm hoping eventually this comes back. My conselor says it's part of the depression. I used to be avid reader. Since my Mom died 7 months ago, I have read 1 book. I used to spit out one a week. I just can't get into right now. The plans that you make. Yes---definately. When they get here I don't feel like doing them any more. Nothings enjoyable. Hopefully time will make it's adjustments and we figure out have to get through it. Janine, The forgetfullness---I can't wait till I remember things again. I ordered checks. I forgot to put my husband's name on them. You know, the husband I've been married to for almost 21 years. I could go on and on with all the crazy things I've done. My mind is always on my Mom. At first I thought it was the meds, but I've done some research. I think we are so consumed with the grieving process. We can't focus on anything else. Hope this helped a little. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Lori, You have every right to be here no matter what stage you in. I lost my Mom 7 months ago Friday and it still hurts like hell. Literally, I had 3 migraines last week. Like Paul said, 4 months is very early in your grief journey. Just when your on a high, you take a plunge again. The ups and downs are very frequent. Check with your Dr. about your meds. Sometimes they have to be changed. After a while they can just stop working and you need a change. I am on Lexapro (20). I still have my ups and downs. Last week was rough. It was the 7 month mark on Fri. Friday is also the day we took her home to die. It brought back a lot of bad memories. The point is even on the meds your still going to feel the hurt. Lori, keep posting. Your family here cares about you. It broke my heart to read your post that you didn't think you should be coming here. We are all in it together. This place and people like you have been my sanity through out my grieving process. Thank you for what you have done for me. Missing my Mom, Trudy