Trudy1964

My Mom was still in the hospital when the papers were signed for hospice. I didn't want her to die in a cold white hospital room. We took her out, and with the help of hospice, brought her to the home she was so proud of. They helped us administer her medicine to make her comfortable. We were able to make sure she was pain free. More importantly, all six of her children, our spouses, all grandchildren and her only sister were able to be there with her for her last 2 days of her life. Hospice made this possible. They are truly angels on Earth. I didn't meet our angel, Tara, until after my Mom had passed on July 16, 2006. I had talked to her many times on the phone but had not met face to face. I will always hold a special place in my heart for her. She got me through 2 of the darkest days of my life. They still call me every now and then to check on the family to see how we are doing. I hope your family finds as much comfort in the group ya'll are using as our group brought us. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Thank you David. The poem is beautiful. I cried when I read it. I have tried over and over again to explain to my friends who have never experienced a loss how it feels. This sums it up. It's life without my Mom. Thanks again for sharing. I am sorry about your precious daughter. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Janine, I am so sorry for the loss of your sister. I haven't loss a sibling. I loss my Mom in July to cancer. It was quick also. The numbness is normal. When you come out of the fog, you realize it's real and not a horrible dream. Everything you described is unfortunately pretty normal. Not sleeping, not eatting, no appetite. Being exhausted and yet you can't sleep. Grief is self obsorbing. Even at almost 6 months, I still feel like it was yesterday. Grief is a journey with many ups and downs. You've come to the right place. Everyone here has been where you are. Some of us are still there. Keep coming back and posting. It helps to get it out. Missing my Mom, Trudy

My mom had hospice for 2 days. I can't toot their horn enough. We had only known she had cancer for 3.5 weeks before. Be their as much as you can, via telephone or in person. I admire the strength your Dad has. My Mom made things easier for us. She made all the hard decisions. No treatments, not wanting to live like that. Your Dad's strength will help you through. Keeping you and your family in my prayers... Missing my Mom, Trudy

Lori and Bernadette, I'm not in your situation. I just wanted to let ya'll know that I'm thinking of you guys. I'll say an extra prayer for ya'll. The pain of loosing your Mom is great enough w/o feeling like you are loosing a part of your Dad also. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Pebbles, I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. Watching my Mom die is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my 42 years of life. God gave us 3 weeks with her after we learned her diagnosis. We spent every waking minute with her. Be it on the phone or in person, do what you can. That's what we did. I'm glad you found this place too. I didn't find it until after my Mom passed. It sure would have helped me if I had found it earlier. I'll be keeping you and your Dad in my prayers. Missing my Mom, Trudy

I thought that would be your answer. Sometimes it's harder to be the bigger person. I think your doing the right thing. You sure are making you mom and dad proud. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Shelley, I know it would be easier to just turn your cheek and treat her the way she treated you. Sit down for a minute and think about how that would make you feel inside. You have to go with what would feel right in your heart. Also, how your mom and dad would want you to treat other people. The fact that you asked the question lets me know what your answer will probably be. Take care. Missing my Mom, Trudy

I know what you mean JC. I was so worried about what the holidays would bring that I feel lost now. Empty. I was bracing myself for dealing with Mom not being here for Christmas. Where do we go from here.... Missing my Mom, Trudy

Annie, Everyone does things in their own time. Going through your Mom's things maybe something you have to wait on. Do what you can handle at your own pace? After you have such a loss, everthing is so special. I have the chapstick that I would put on my Mom's lips. I feel like she is kissing me when I put some on my lips. Grieving is a long jourey. I'm glad you decided to keep coming back. Welcome to the family. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Hildie, You have my deepest sympathy. I am so very sorry about the loss of your husband. We are all dealing with some kind of pain here. I lost my Mom to cancer almost 6 months ago. Sometimes the pain is so deep I can't breath. You're not alone here. You have new friends who are experiencing the same feelings. Please come back and share with us. We help each other here through hard times. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Hi Annie, I'm glad you found the courage to make the first post. I am so sorry for what your feeling right now. I can read the pain in your writing. Your pain is so raw now. All the first are going to be very hard. I remember going back to the hospital to take a test for the first time. As I was leaving, one of the nurses said, "Have a nice weekend." I realized it was Friday. That was the day we took my Mom home from the hosp. to die. She passed 2 days later. I know it's hard. Sometimes you need your husband to be there for you. Sometimes you want time alone. We don't want to be like millions of people. We want to be just like us. Your not alone, Annie. Keep coming back. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Shubom, I'm sorry for you and your friend. It's so hard to handle your own grief let alone someone else's pain. My sister and I can finally talk about our Mom and our feelings. The pain was too great to share before. Be there for your friend but take time for your self. This is also such a hard time for you at the one year mark. The holidays don't make it any easier. My Mom passed in July. I dread the one year anniv. coming around. When your ready, you may be able to help your friend. But only if you can handle it. Keeping you in my prayers. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Pamela, Thanks for adding more pics of your precious Pj. Never say "I'm sorry" for anything you did or didn't do here. You are among friends here who just let you be you. You can let your hair down here. It took me a while to figure out how to post also. Pj is always with you. After Markie leaves for work, Pj's spirit will help through. After my Mom passed, a friend suggested I lite a blessed candle to represent her. I do that and it gives me such peace. I just feel her all around me when I do this. It's like she is just lighting up the room just like when she would walk into my house before she left us. Pamela, you're never alone. We are always here with you. Peace to you. Missing my Mom, Trudy

PrincessKiki, Yes, that's how I react. I jump into this strong person who can fix the world. Then, when I am home alone, I fall apart. I feel the need to be strong for everyone else. What about us? I wish I had answers. I helps me just to know that they haven't forgotten about my Mom. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm glad you've found this place also. It's a God send. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Jamie, I am so sorry for the pain you are going through right now. The thing I like most about this site is that everyone can be honest. Nobody has to pretend. I lost my Mom in July so I haven't been coming here as long as you. All of my new friends here have been my life line. My husband is even asking how is everyone here doing. I know it's hard to handle changes right now with your family. But I know together you guys are going to make it. My girls have also been my strength. Together and with God's help we'll all make it through this. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Thanks for all of your replys. They brought a smile to my face. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Pamela, You've come to the right place. Mom's, Dad's, Grandparents, children's, pet's, our pain is all the same. Your precious PJ was adorable. I am so sorry for everything you are going through. Your post brought tears to my eyes. I lost my Mom in July. A girl that I work with had to put her dog "KiKi" to sleep in Dec. She and I had many long talks helping each other get through tough times. Keep coming here. You've got a new family here to help you through the tough times. Peace to you. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Yes Jonquil, We felt like she was there with us. My new sister in law is a good person and so good for my brother that it made the day a lot easier. I'm sorry for the loss of your Mom. I'm glad you guys have the pictures and videos of your brothers wedding with your Mom in it. I know she was sick in them but the effort she made to be there says what a great lady she was also. Everything that we take for granted is so precious now. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Shelley, I'm just glad your here posting again. I missed you a lot when you didn't post for those couple of days. Welcome back. We are all looking forward to a better 2007. After the year we've all had, it has to be better. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Jonquil, As much as I hate to go back to work, I think it will do us all some good maybe to get back to "normal". Have a safe trip on your way home. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Jonquil, Yes, she was. I think everyone there left there with a sense of what kind of a woman she was. It was bittersweet. I would have given anything to have her there. But if she couldn't be there, my brother could not have honored her in a grander way. Missing my Mom, Trudy

My brother's wedding has come and gone. He married December 30, 2006. It was perfect. Well, almost perfect. My Mom wasn't there. She passed July 16, 2006. He was her baby even at 40 years old and we all new it. She may have not been there physically but he made sure she was the in spirit. If you were a guest and didn't know that she wasn't there, you knew after his dedications. It was absolutely beautiful. The first came in the unity candle. My new sister-in-law's Mother lit the candle representing her side of the family. My brother asked my sister and I to lite the candle together that my Mom should have lit. We were honored to say the least. I felt so proud to be doing her job. My heart was also so heavy. The second came in a flower presentation. My Mother's picture had been placed on a white column that looked like it came from heaven. An angel sat nearby and blessed holy candle burned along side of her picture. Beautiful floral arrangements surrounded it. They gave her Mother a white rose as a token of love. Then laid a single white rose at my Mom's pictute while "The Wedding Song" by Peter, Paul, & Mary softly played in the back ground. Many tears were falling at this point. He also had another flower to bring to her gravesite so he could introduce her to his new bride. Next, he dedicated a song to her. He wanted all of his siblings to get up and dance to a song he heard. We got up with our spouses. I wish there was a way I could let you guys here this song. My Dad left my Mom when she had 6 children to raise. We ranged from 1.5 to 17 years of age. The song was about a conversation between a Mother and a child. Thanking her for raising her children and putting them first. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever been a part of since my Mom is gone. There was not a dry eye in the place. People who didn't know her where telling us "She must have been one hell of a woman." "Ya'll sure made her proud." In south Louisiana, we got 4 inches of rain in a day in a half. I kept praying for Mom to give us a hand. The wedding was to start at 3:00 pm. I said "Mom, it can rain all it wants before 2:30. We need it to stop so we can get Angela to the wedding. You have first hand connections with the man upstairs. See what you can do." It stopped raining at 2:25. Thanks, Mom. I love you and miss you. Trudy

Jonquil, At my Mothers funeral, my sister cried and cried and cried. I was very strong. Everyone told me to take care of her because I was doing so well. In front of others, I put on one face because I don't share well with them. Honestly, in my shower is the only place I cry. My Mom has been gone 5.5 months and I still want to pick up the phone to call her. Give yourself time. Once the shock wears off, the tears will flow. Nobody knows what's going on inside of a broken heart. Just concentrate on taking care of yourself and only do what you feel up to doing. Don't let other people tell you how you should be feeling or not feeling. We are all one the same journey and we're all here for you. Missing my Mom, Trudy

Yea, I know. Depending how my day went. I can usually tell ahead of time when I am not going to sleep. If I grind my teeth during the day, it's not going to be a good night. That's when I wake up (or rather toss and turn) with a migraine. Entirely tooooo much anxiety. Missing my Mom, Trudy