Widowedbysuicide

Gwen I hope you keep telling the staff and your therapist about your suicidal thoughts. All of us have had similar thoughts at different times in our lives but something has helped to crush the thoughts. I believe it is very difficult to break that kind of thinking on your own, particularly when you are so alone. I pray that this hospital stay will cause an improvement to your life and that you will find some joy on earth. ❤️ 🙏

❤️ 🙏. You are in my thoughts and my heart.

That is really lovely Katie. You are brave. Allen was brave for quite a while too. I remember the feeling like it was yesterday in one moment and a lifetime ago in the next moment. It i still like that for me now. Fortunately I have learned some coping skills so the fluctuations aren't as difficult as they were. Every day is different. I'm just so sorry you have so many loved ones you are grieving. I believe that makes it much more devastating and difficult. Hugs and prayers 🙏 ❤️

Your words are so beautiful Katie. They speak of such sadness and love. I believe Allen knows what you want him to know. He loves you still, just from a different place. ❤️ To you

So true. Life and death are harsh sometimes.

@RahnVery nicely said. I hope you too will be ok someday Ron. I have been on the train ride of depression and anxiety for more than half my 61 years. Sorry for your recent loss as well. I remember how desperate feeling those first month's were.

I'm just checking in to see how you are doing. I know how hard it is to answer that question. I mean that from the time you think about the question you have felt so many things and thought about even more.

Keeping you in my prayers. I miss smoking... Last one was April 15, 1992

Just wanted to say hi to you Katie. ❤️

Katie you don't need to worry about all that. Right now you are in survival mode and that is enough. There are times when you just have to live one breath at a time. I like to ask this question: what would you say to your best friend if he/she was saying what you have written? I bet you would be gentle and kind to them. Queens what.... that's just what you need for you. Be your best friend to you. I think it is easy to comment on things once they have become more the 'new normal'. Give yourself plenty of time, patience and love. ❤️🙏🏾 I'm here for you.

All I can say is that I am genuinely sorry that there is so much sadness and difficulty in so may of our lives. 🙏

🙏 for you on this difficult day. I understand how you are concerned for your children. Mine was 29 at the time of his Dad's suicide and it worried me sleepless for many nights.

Sorry to hear things are so tough Gwen. Being responsible for ourselves without the love and assistance of our beloved is 💩 I am fortunate that my health is relatively good and that my 31 yr old son lives with me. The relatively good is because I don't have a relationship with my husband's relatives. I'm an only and my father's family are in Scotland - my mother's family have disowned me because they believe her lies. I am probably better off without all their drama. This is starting to sound like a soap opera lol 🤣. This comment was supposed to be helpful or comforting for you... are you more comfortable? I'm just teasing now... Perhaps you could feel better knowing that there are many of us out here with the same kind of struggles and that each of us wishes the others well. May this evening provide you with some gentleness. Marita

Thank you George. I always learn something from you. I think the stretching is the pain filled part.. I could use a little more patience some days too. 💓 Hugs to you

Hello, I am sorry for your loss. I understand some of what you are going through as my husband died of suicide 2 1/2 yrs ago. My son is my only family. My in-laws cut me out so many years ago. Actually I don't think I was ever in their family. I think is hard to live with grief from suicide and we all can use more help. It sounds as though you are a very busy driven person, I'm glad you recognize that you are needing help. The physical effects of grief can be debilitating so don't blame yourself for doing what is right for you. Seek out good help. Please don't think that you could have done or said something that would have changed the decision your young niece made. That choice comes from deep within the person. We may not think that they are thinking right but in their tormented minds it is their only way to escape their hell. Take care and let us know how you are doing. Understanding and comfort are given freely here.

Sorry Kay. If we are only given what we can handle when do we get a break?

Katie ❤️ I know you are really hurting and I'm so sorry. All I can offer you is my hopes and prayers. Your life as you knew it is done but there is more life and living to do. I have no idea what it will be like but I know that you have angels on earth and in heaven that want you to have a great life.

Thinking of you Katie ❤️🙏

Have you considered fostering a dog? Sometimes there are mature dogs needing temporary homes. Just a thought.

Beautiful pictures Katie!

Breathing and believing in yourself is good for you. Hugs💓

Thank you for sharing that Anne. Your words and sentiment are full of truth.

I understand how your brain is full of these thoughts while your heart is aching. If you can try to divert your brain to the good memories and trust in God that everything will be ok it sure will help you at this really traumatic time. Any death is difficult to understand and cope with. Suicide is different in ways only survivors understand. You need all the best health care you can get. Physical and mental health care. I sent you an email so I hope you get it. You are doing a great job of growing you new beautiful girl. That is a good focus. She will bring you and the boys such great joy. Thinking of you tonight Katie ❤️

Please don't torture yourself with these thoughts. You both were under a tremendous amount of stress and pain the last couple of years. No blame on any of you.

I just wanted to say hello to you @Nicholas(Nick) Thinking of you and hoping you are coping.