kayc

I really appreciate your thoughtfulness and warmth   You are right about the outside being in her.. however I’ve had her inside for 8 years.. yes she always liked going outside..we gave her the patio but she eventually found her way off that to her detriment. I don’t blame myself for her getting out I am angriest at myself because I feel if I had spoken louder and called her name the coyote would have left knowing a human was near.   I knew something was amiss from the other 2 outside cats and I assumed a coyote had gotten in but my thinking was he had already taken her..fact was she was still here and heard my meat cry for her...I am very hard on myself for sure but I feel I could have saved her had I been more aggressive and as a mom I failed.  I have had to put a lot af my babies down but I knew all of them had no choice.  I didn’t get to hug her or say goodbye and I’ve never had a loss so gruesome 

your stories are wonderful you should be a writer..you have a lot of good memories to share and you tell each one as a saga I want to keep reading.

I have a lot of triggers too as she was my best friend and at my side most of the time.  I can’t look at my hill without balling and I know time will take care of this but I feel as though I am extra short tempered and definitely not the happy go lucky person when I had her.  I feel less tolerant.  
 

I just wanted to thank you for all your help through this.