STARKISS

Hi Lorikelly, You can honestly feel the way I do, I hear it in your post... I also try to picture my mom in my head and I still say good night to her every night before I go to sleep... Shelley

Thanks Marty, I hope with this pill I can get to the place I need to be so that I can move further along my grief journey... Thanks for everything Shelley

Hi All, Well today is the first day of pills for me, the pill is called wellbutrin xl, bupropion hcl and it is used for anxiety, depression and adhd so I guess I am covered but need to take care as it may cause several side affects well wish me luck shelley

Hi Marty, Thanks for all the encouragement, I glad someone thinks I am doing the right thing lately I have been treated like I am just one big mistake... Shelley

Hi Jaye, That was beautiful, thanks for sharing it with us... I am under that willow tree too... Shelley

Hi Lindakoz, How beautiful was that, thanks for sharing it will us all... It tells how much you were in love... Thanks again Shelley

Hi All, I wish there was some way of doing this, it would be awesome to meet you all... I wish that there was some kind of way of getting so discounts from airplane companies and hotels so that we could pull this off... Shelley

Hi All, I went to see the doctor about getting pills for depression and she made me take a couple of quizs and checked out my latest blood tests to see if there is any other reason I might be feeling down... Well you would not guess what came up... She put me on this medication which is good for depression and ADHD in adults... The quizs or assessments I took today told her it might be adhd that I have, she asked me alot of things about school and life at home... I had a hard time with school and was labelled a slow learner and now she thinks that I might have had adhd back that and since primary school happened over forty years for me they never knew about adhd back than... So I am going to see a psychiatrist to make sure that is what I have and I will get medication to help me... sorry everyone this is not exactly grief related but I just wanted people to know it might not be depression caused by the lost of my parents... Shelley

Thanks Niamh, Yes that is one brother down and two to go, plus I think my sister will go with whatever everyone else says... So Yes I have till August and I know in my heart we will all come together and make the right choice for all of us... Shelley

Hi Ellen, Thanks for your input, I have thought it over and are planning to do it as scheduled on August 25th of this year... As you say are they going to sue me for the ashes... I have made as many attempts to ask for their input and I will do what I need to do... Shelley

Hi All, Would be nice to somehow get together with some of you, I think that it would be wonderful to meet you all up close... What do people think? shelley

Hi niamh, My brother called me today and says my ideal was great, he was not sure of the tree but if everyone else liked the ideal he would agree... I am thrilled that he liked the whole plan now if I can get the other two brothers and my sister to say something... I am going to phone my brother and discuss maybe planting the tree at his house, he has a very big yard... Shelley

Hi All, I have a real problem right now, whenever I saw my doctor she would ask me how things were going? I would say okay or good, she knew about the abuse and the deaths of my parents but she did not know about the emotional and verbal abuse I have been getting from my sisters family over everything...Now my therapist wants me to talk with the doctor about getting antidepressants because I have been grieving and really sad about my mom for so long.... I have other issues not related to grief so with everything that is involved I am getting really depressed I guess... But the doctor only knows about the deaths of my parents and the abuse from my dad... How do I bring up all the rest? She thinks I am okay and doing fine with everything but I am truthfully falling apart again... Shelley

Well, so much for having a plan... I can not do anything with the remains unless my sister and my brother are with me as they are my parents power of attorney.... I just found out neither of them are in a hurry to decide what to do... So here I am stuck in muck and can not do a thing to get out... Shelley

Hi All, I can certainly relate to the sleepless nights, I do not think I have slept more than three or four hours at a time and if I have than I wake up because of a nightmare... I have had more nightmares lately than when I was a kid... Shelley

Thanks Niamh, But if it was my dad he would be enjoying one enormous bowl of vanilla ice cream with maybe a small slice of cake... shelley

Hi Loulou, I had been put on them four years ago when my parents both died and I stayed on them for a year and thought I was doing okay and took myself off them but again I guess with everything else going on in my life maybe I need them again... Thanks for your input... Shelley

Hi Sheiss, Thanks for your input, I had been on antidepressants before but I took myself off them... I did not think I needed them anymore and that was three years ago... So maybe I was wrong... Shelley

Thanks Steve, I will be careful but my doctor has always been there for me and tries to do her best for me... She watches out that I stay well because she cared so much for my mom that she would not want to turn out the way my mom did with all her health problems... I see the doctor Monday morning and will let everyone know how it goes.. Shelley

Hi Marty, Yes I do trust both my therapists so I have made the appointment for Monday morning... I hate taking pills but if that is what I need to do for a little while I will.. Thanks Marty... Shelley

Thanks Niamh, I appreciate all your kindness, I have made the appointment for Monday morning and I will go from there... Shelley

Hi All, I saw my therapist on the weekend and she told me I should see the doctor because she thinks I might be board line depressed because my mood swings are all over the place..I just do not know though, but after today I think she might be right... I have been okay, feeling lov and now i am crying, just so far this morning so maybe I will see what the doctor ssys.. Shelley

How does one really find closure when someone dies? I have three brothers and a sister who will not even discuss the ideal with me... I have the remains of our parents and my therapists say to me I need to deal with them and than I will be able to move forward... But my siblings just do not want to talk about it... I have told them all what I would like to see done and I even gave them a date for this to happen but can not do anything because I have been told that since I was not incharge of their estate I can not do anything with their remains so now it is a waiting game and I have to sit and wait and wait for them... I need this for my own mental health... Shelley I had said earlier in another post that we had agreed on a date and what to do but now the family thinks it is not a good ideal to do it on that date and will not agree to anything right now...I feel like a yo yo with all of this they say things and I get so ready to do it and than they change their minds and than I drop again... Shelley

Hi Ben, I had seven yard sales to sell my parents belongings and after the last sale we just put a sign up on the front lawn saying free to a good home that night and in the morning there were three things left.. It a wonder how people came and took it all away for us... Shelley