Marie Lee Posted October 24, 2016 Report Share Posted October 24, 2016 Hi, I am watching my grandson Mason today. The Lord knows how it feels my heart with happiness to see him play. To have the time to be with him...it hurts so very much that Kevin won't be coming home from work and playing with him. He won't walk in that door fussing about traffic. Making his snacks, throw the ball around for our dog. I won't have him to make turkey for this Thanksgiving..always his fave. I try to stay positive vut it's really not fair he was robbed of this. I don't think that pain will ever go away. Cherishing the moments but my heart is still breaking... I wish this nightmare would go away....Marie I miss you Kev.... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brat#2 Posted October 24, 2016 Report Share Posted October 24, 2016 Marie, that does seem to be one of the hardest parts of this journey, knowing that they will not experience things again. I know that when something happens, good or bad, I want to turn to him and say "did you see that?" or "did you have fun?" or "what do you think we should do?". I believe that they do see what is going on, but just can't express to us that they do, so I feel we just need to keep going on the best we can and believe that they are having the moments with us. Hugs to you Joyce 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie Lee Posted October 24, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 24, 2016 Maybe it will help if I get used to the idea that he is still with me, although I can't see him. Thanks Joyce, :-) 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rdownes Posted October 24, 2016 Report Share Posted October 24, 2016 Marie I so feel your pain it is hard to have days that bring us joy and they are not there to share it, I do believe with all my heart their spirits are still with us walking right beside us some days it helps other days it doesn't but through it all I keep believing that because I truly believe that the love we shared can never go away Kevin was the cook of all our Holiday meals he was Italian and loved food and making holiday dinners was his thing so for us dinner will be a big challenge none of us can cook but we will try. It is hard Marie but we will and can find our way. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJ660 Posted October 24, 2016 Report Share Posted October 24, 2016 Marie, I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m sending you hugs today. Maybe give your grandson an extra big hug. It will feel good to both of you. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie Lee Posted October 24, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 24, 2016 Thanks everyone.. I was reading others' posts about keeping our loved ones memories alive, that made me feel a little better, going to work hard on doing that. Peace... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 25, 2016 Report Share Posted October 25, 2016 I walk in the hope that they do hear us and are still with us in spirit...I don't know if it's all the time or some of the time, but I constantly think of George and often talk aloud to him. Sometimes, though, it feels unbearable, because we want their PHYSICAL presence! There’s a story some of you may know of a parent tucking in her young child for the night. When she gets up to leave after singing a lullabaye, the child cries out in fear of being left alone in the dark. “You won’t be alone, sweetheart” the parent says. “God is always with you.” “But Mommy,” the child replied, “I want God with skin on.” Sometimes I want George with skin on! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie Lee Posted October 31, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2016 Kay, I want my Kevin with skin on too!!! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Finch Posted November 5, 2016 Report Share Posted November 5, 2016 Hi Marie, I relate to your post and you are in my thoughts. I daily feel pain at the experiences Crystal is missing that I can't share with her. And also the experiences she is missing with her kids. They are just 11 and 7 years old. It hurts so much to think about how much she loved them and wanted to nurture them into adulthood. I'm reminded of it every time I see my 2 and a half year old niece. I love her and wish seeing her didn't remind me of this, but it does. The unfairness of it. Makes me. So. Angry. I know that the grandparents do everything to keep her memory alive for them. I hope you do find ways to honour the love you and Kevin shared (and share!). I hope that it gets easier to do so with time, and reading peoples' experiences on here, there is hope for that. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin Posted November 5, 2016 Report Share Posted November 5, 2016 Patton Oswalt: Grieving In Public Is Therapeutic YouTube - 16 hours ago The comedian, returning to the stage for the first time after losing his wife Michelle, has found ... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brad Posted November 6, 2016 Report Share Posted November 6, 2016 I am amazed - six months! At six months I couldn't speak without breaking down. I still struggle to keep tears at bay at fifteen months. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gin Posted November 6, 2016 Report Share Posted November 6, 2016 Brad, me, too. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie Lee Posted November 6, 2016 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2016 Thanks Kevin, I Just listened to that YouTube link , Patton , and he had some pretty good points about grief. Its amazing that his 7 yr old daughter is teaching him... :-) Reminds me of a quote, ...we will learn more from our kids than they will ever learn from us.... I am doing my best to get out of my head and " attempt" to move forward. Everyone has their own journey and timing for sure. This is not how I wanted my life to go,and yet, here I am.. I guess I am still standing... Happy weekend folks- Marie 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scba Posted November 6, 2016 Report Share Posted November 6, 2016 I understand the feeling very well. When I look at my nephews I think of the project of becoming parents and how much he fought to make this wish possible. I can't help it, to think of what never is going to be while I witness what already IS in this life. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scba Posted November 6, 2016 Report Share Posted November 6, 2016 Sometimes I imagine that we are going to be given a second life on Earth, another opportunity to be together, this time in health, and make up for so much suffering....just a daydream..,, 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie Lee Posted November 6, 2016 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2016 That's a nice daydream Ana...I often think how Iwoild love to meet Kevin again, now, after the loss and realization of the value... At our age and experience...it would be a dream come true. What a day for a daydream..... Trying to keep looking up, Marie 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brad Posted November 6, 2016 Report Share Posted November 6, 2016 1 hour ago, scba said: Sometimes I imagine that we are going to be given a second life on Earth, another opportunity to be together, this time in health, and make up for so much suffering....just a daydream..,, Ana - I don't know that it is "just a daydream"; at least I hope not. While it may not be on Earth, I do believe that we will be together again. I like to think that after our time on Earth there are many, many other worlds to explore and that maybe they are a graduated learning environment (the teacher in me). With an estimated three septillion solar systems in our known universe (in comparison there are an estimated 7.5 quintillion grains of sand on Earth), to me it makes sense that we travel time continuums, with our soulmates, learning as we go along. I really hope that the next world will teach man how to peacefully coexist with each other because after six million years of humanoids and 200,000 years as homosapiens we still have not figured that one out. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scba Posted November 6, 2016 Report Share Posted November 6, 2016 6 hours ago, Marie Lee said: I like your idea Brad. I too ponder about universe and dimensions. At the same time, what is going on in this Earth and what humans are doing to Earth and to each other, leaves me with little hope about so called "evolution". 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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