Mom

[kayc]

I paid it, not wanting my perfect credit score damaged over it, but oh gosh it makes me livid!

I'm so sorry about your wrist! I remember breaking my right elbow and my car was a stick shift, not easy to get through!  Fortunately I was only working one day a week then but I had all the job interviews I had to commute to!  They don't cast elbows, a sling doesn't do much to protect one.

More hell from Viasat and Spectrum this week but I finally have my original landline installed!  I gave my technician my Cricut Machine and cartridges, he came up after work in his personal vehicle.  Then I found the manual and papers, so he'll come up after work tonight for that.

Viasat only has their "policy" and I've been with them for 15 years, same old equipment.  New technician showed me the problem, and all these years they wouldn't do anything!  So their guy from India makes me get up on the roof in a snowstorm, knowing I'm 70 and no one to spot me, and get the receiver down.  I cut the cable as no tools to remove it and I seriously doubt they'll send a shipping container for that, very heavy/cumbersome.  He said the fittings are a dime a dozen.  Got it all ready to ship and THEN found out they won't send for it for a MONTH!  They kept my ACP for this month, even though no internet used in it.  They faulted me for not being able to do the Sat. appt. when I told them my family is coming from all over the state to scatter my sister and BIL's ashes!  It took me several phone calls to cancel once I realized the idiot scheduled it in spite of me telling him that!  

So good to hear your roofer will handle the gables!

I tried to activate the mobile phone with Spectrum but guess what!  They didn't include a sim card.  FedEx pkg ON except it got hung up in TX for some reason so who knows when I'll get it.  Figures.  If it'd happen, it'd be on me!  The guy on the phone acted like I must have lost it, no!  I told him I may be old but I'm not stupid!  He said it's rare, yeah, figures!  I opened it carefully, over my desk, not in the packaging anywhere.

[Tachi]

My brother has put off the video call to decide the final batch of goodies. In a week i'm going to call the real estate agent and see if I can talk to the estate sale lady. If bro drags his butt still then he loses out. I started going through the living room and found some things that may or not be valuable. I'm going to bag them all up and go to the jewellers this wekk. Going to ask him to tell me what shouldnt be in an estate sale, value them and tell me how to sell them. 

Good you have your landline going. isnt it a wonder how some companies stay in business. Too many of them are in business for themselves. They set up their rules and think theyre wonderful. meanwhile people suffer. Ive come to the point where if I end up talking to someone in India etc I find another provider whose cust service reps I can understand. The person who made you get on the roof in the snow should have been fired and they should have sent someone out to do that. Thats not acceptable. 

No Sim card? How silly of them. Of course they can never think its their fault. That way they can charge you to send another one. 

85% chance of rain...it did rain alright...but not enough to wet the rainguage lol. It is nice and chilly though. 

Was able to keep from respraining my wrist and its healed pretty well. My shoulder is much better but have lost range of motion. I cant scratch my back without intense pain. If I ever get handcuffed it will probably tear my shoulder. Ive been trying to slowly stretch it back out.

I have a mystery. Dad had a box with tea cups a Japanese friend gave him years ago. It was in the living room with other, similar things. I opened it and looked twice, never took them out or moved the case. I looked today and the case is now empty. I'm at a loss. no one gets in the house. I spent an hour searching the room and i cant find what may have happened to them. Now I'm wondering if someone got in? And feeling unsafe. But wouldnt make sense to take just that, and i've seen no indication anyone got in. Yet the case is empty. Im at a total loss and wondering if something is wrong with me.

How are Kodie and Panther doing? I bet they'll be happy when Spring is here. 

The trim guy was suposed to come back friday and didnt show. I have no idea when or if he is coming again. Still waiting for the deposit from th Insurance for the final payment for the roof. 

Wow, paused this and  earlier the Ins Adjuster called and I got the email to get my money. The roofer sent a different guy to fix and paint my trim. but he had no clue what he needed to do so he has to come back Thursday. I dont think he wants to do it. I cant do it all but will get done what I can. 

You folks take good care, stay warm, hopefully some peace and quiet.

 

[kayc]

Wow, I hope they follow through and finish the job!

Panther will like Spring but Kodie loves the snow.  He doesn't know about hardship, etc.  He loved being out in the yard watching me shovel.  He'd scoot in it and I've never seen a dog love it more!

Sprained my right forefinger night before last at Jazzy's, tripped over a brick stepping stone.  Hurts like the dickens, double in size.

Sat. drove to Roseburg, left at 9, got home at 5, tried to set up mobile, found out they'd locked it out yet their emails said otherwise, so did what they told me. On it's way back, have to fight to get any $ back. 

Night before last Spectrum told me to drive to Spectrum in Roseburg again, if my current cellphone wasn't on its last leg (Pixel 2, badly cracked, won't update) I would have skipped it but we went, my neighbor drove my car for me, too much pain. Got a Pixel 6a $200, charging me $30/line until they get the MotoG Pure back and then they'll cancel that line and put this one on as the free line for a year.  Of course they never prorate anything.  Getting hit hard this month with double billing from Viasat $20 and full billing from Spectrum $80, and paying for two phones ($144 and $200) and return fee $50!  Need to see $144 and $50 go away and Viasat, don't get me started on them!  Still waiting for return shipment box/label for their 15 year old equipment!

Got home 3-3:30, ate first meal of the day, then took Kodie to play with Jazzy, came home and ate a little, loaded fire, took Kodie out to play with Panther a bit, done for the day.  Slept nearly seven hours straight!  Felt good not to wake up in the night.

Your brother in his greed may lose out on last chance.  I'm sorry, I don't think highly of him, you're getting stuck with all the work while he wants first crack at everything.  You are good to him...enough said.

So my other grief group is making me a moderator Friday, glad it's not today, I can barely think. She was going to five years ago and dropped the ball, meanwhile, I've been there all along, helping people and having to report things wrong instead of taking care of it myself.  It'll be a different learning as different platform than my Diabetic Group on FB.  I took to that like a duck does water!  Although it can throw you curves, FB always changing everything.  Anyway, it'll be nice to be able to DO something when something happens, also nice to have high speed internet and not have to watch usage so closely.

Spectrum has given me the streaming spiel FIVE times! They'll buy out up to $500. I had just signed up to Dish for two years, only three months down, $70/month, nope!  Also, just got used to how the hopper works.  I don't have a smart tv so would still need a DVR box, let's see, they want to charge $89/month, after their $500 off $1,470 buyout I'd be paying $970 to dish and $89 more to Spectrum...have we got a deal for YOU!  Umm...NO!  The original salesman signed me up for it even though I told him NO so had to have it removed.  This has been a horrid experience but once the mobile phone issue is done it should be better.

Hope you have a good day!  May on is my catch up on doctor's appts, vet, etc. after the winter. The older I get the worse it is, mammogram, colonoscopy, bone density test, ENT, annual exam, blood tests, dermatology exam, eye exam, glasses, dental checkup, Kodie's physical, and poop test (they never tell you how to collect a fresh poop sample on command).  It seems I'll be going to the valley all the time!  At least the Covid stuff is behind us a bit, I got it last summer but Omicron wasn't as bad as Delta so lucky there (didn't feel lucky my worst days!

Hang in there, one day at a time.  Nearly time to focus on YOU and YOUR health!  Take care...

 

 

[Tachi]

Well, finally had the guy come and what a waste of time. he spoke almost no english, tho a very nice guy. I couldnt communicate with him. The wood filler I had was dry so was worthless and he was going to use caulk. Except he didnt have a sander. I gave up, just lt him finish and leave because i didnt pay for the work. iot was evident they sent just some guy who they had given a brush. he did have a taller ladder and was able to paint the high spots i couldnt. After the estate sale I'll pay someone who knows how to do the job. This was a lesson learned. make sure they speak english and have all the tools required and the skills to do it. It isnt hard...smooth and press filler in, let dry, sand smooth with wood and paint.

Ouch, dont be like me and sprain things, hope it heals fast. Ice? Now that i say that I hope I dont try and copycat and sprain sonething...

Hope you get those phone troubles straightened out. I never understand why they have to make it so difficult. They dont care if you have to be out money. And they sure are stingy giving it back. maybe they hope people will get frustrated and give up.

My brother thinks theres no work or expenses to owning a home. I told that to my neighbor and he laughed pretty good. Besides mortgage and utilities the expenses will drive ya broke. And there always so much to do. I keep an expense log and every penny will be paid back. What frustrates me is he acts like theres no time spent on the house. So he thinks I have nothing to do all day and just study. Hes either a complete idiot or very bad at gaslighting. Or both. I love him cause he's family but as a person his track record is undesirable.

being Moderator sounds fun. You're very good at helping people. I'd say they are lucky to have you.

Spectrum, lol. They just dont have much of a clue about customer service. I bet they get people with that scam though. They know what theyre doing and its sad,

Sounds like may will be busy and hopefully productive. Will it warm up as well? 

We dodged a bullet yesterday. Inch and a half of rain here. But bad storms south of us. two tornados and softball sized hail. I dont want anything hurting my new roof. Supposed to get lots of rain today but went around us. So far is a cool pleasant spring and no need to water. I need that to keep going as long as possible. 

I have seen video of dogs sliding in the snow so can imagine kodie doing the same. Dogs love to have fun. Must be an animal instinct. 

Hoping to finish painting the house in a couple days. Just need to walk it and touch up. I'm also working on cleaning up the back yard. had another small tree die and took that down. the roots were so rotted I wedged it right out. Then started tearing away the carpet of old vine and roots and leaves. I uncovered a brick corner dad had built that I never knew was there. The vines went wild and covered everything up. Im thinking to strip off as much as I can and plant some shade flower seed. 

I keep finding more to do here and push back my timetable. But I must be out by end of November.

Wondering if you ever use a crockpot. Think I need to use mine more. Can do a pot and eat on it all week.

Take good care of yourself. Hopefully you can have some peace and quiet.

[kayc]

Yesterday it was in the 90s, the day before too!  Made a pot of soup for dinners, love it and hot things are supposed to cool you off, I like it year around!

Made a breakfast casserole for mornings and Chocolate Peanut Butter bars for fat bombs/desserts.

 

Called Spectrum yesterday afternoon, they escalated a case, they have "notes" on me but didn't read me them, betcha anything they don't have them down right! Told the mobile part of my story to her.

 

Had to pick up a ton of branches they left in the back yard, went hypoglycemic, first time since being on Keto, but I ignored as it was 1/2 hour until time to eat.  Just back of head sweatiing, no brain sluggishness or confusion symptoms, or I would have stopped and eaten.

 

After I tripped on the brick paver, Iris' brother Paul, dug all of them up and spread gravel on the pathway, like Mike had always intended to do.  So sweet of him!  Stayed there two hours today, the patio and yard are much cooler than my place and him and Iris were out on the patio.  Iris never visits, she's always doing her own thing.

11 hours ago, Tachi said:

My brother thinks theres no work or expenses to owning a home.

Ha!...says any homeowner!  I spend a LOT of time picking up branches from trees, and especially the last two days since the forestry was here cutting.  They're supposed to cleanup afterwards, ha again!!!  The edge of the back yard where they cut brush had not been picked up at all!  I still have more to do, hard to do in the 90s.  Next week I have a bunch of appointments and it will be 59 and rainy.  I decided not to take Kodie with me as it will be warmer in the valley, likely 70 and too hot to leave him enclosed in the car.  It's always a crap shoot but I have to err on caution's side.

So sorry the guy they sent out didn't do a good job and you couldn't communicate with him.   So much for including that!

11 hours ago, Tachi said:

being Moderator sounds fun.

On the grief site...anything but. OMG are they hit with spammers!  Took care of it at 4 am this morning.  They like to hit during the night!  But I do like helping people with grief or to settle disputes between people although the drama can be wearing. 

 

11 hours ago, Tachi said:

I'd say they are lucky to have you.

Ahh, thank you!

11 hours ago, Tachi said:

Wondering if you ever use a crockpot.

More in the winter although not much this winter.  It can heat up the house!  I use my air fryer, love it!  I hear about insta pots, need to get one one of these days.  Takes MUCH less time!  

12 hours ago, Tachi said:

I dont want anything hurting my new roof.

Perish that thought!

It will seem weird when you are out...it's been so much a part of you for so long...I kind of feel that way about Peggy's place...BTW they still haven't paid out to the kids!

[Tachi]

90! oh my word. We are supposed to be mid to upper 80s for the next two weeks. And decent chances of rain throughout. Save on my watering bill. I need to get someone to fix the leak in one zone of the sprinkler system. Need to go try and sell the rings. I may end up going to several jewellers until someone can help me and still may not be able to sell it. My electric bill this month was under 60 so I'll sweat until I cant stand it and turn the ac on.

I take that back its 96 today, almost a record. Hot for a few days then mid 80s and rain hopefully for a few days. I put some seed down so...

I had to cut down another small tree in the corner. The entire area is also overgrown with dead vines and leaves. I tugged and found out if you pull hard enough it rolls up like carper. So i spent a couple days on that. It makes it look so much better. Almost all shade so I thoiught I'd just throw a few seeds in for the next folks. I'm afraid I dont have the money, time, or health to do this place justice. but then I've been told to just do enough to sell it. It has a new roof and a new paintjob and hopefully nothing wrong with the foundation or structure. 

Oh, Ive never had an air fryer, may have to get one one day. I dont crock pot much in summer. Used to BBQ and eat on that for a few days. Talking to my buddy about nutrition. And im wondering if there is anything safe and good for us. It seems different people say everything is bad. I'm trying to get my salad every day, trying when I dont forget to buy dressing.

I was looking at the trees in the front and need to try and take down dead branches and some low ones. I need to open up for som sunlight. I dont need to worry about it but it bothers me. Sorry they cant pick up what they cut. maybe they need to hire a pickup crew. Just take iot easy and be carefull. 

I finished painting. cleared all I care to out back and planted seed. now I need to mostly work on the inside. 

On second thought moderator sounds like alot of work. If you get to help someone that would be a good deal. I wonder if they could use this AI stuff to reduce spammers.

This is our season for storms and hail. Need the rain though. 

I think this weekend I will spend regrouping and organizing. Next push is to get ready to have the estate sale and talk to the real estate agent. Ive been putting off going thru the house for a last time. On the one hand theres not much I want to keep. On the other I am still seeking meaning for my life thru my parents things. Still trying to make sense of life, losing them, and life after this is over. But I dont think any of that is going to happen. It will probably just be moving on because I have to. And trying to shut the feelings off. There are too many feelings, too many regrets and no closure.

Ive talked to a few of the neighbors and these people are so very nice. This is the first neighborhood i've lived in without loud music, without being wary of being outside at night. 

Maybe this summer you should get Kodie a slip n slide...just kidding. maybe a snow machine. You folks take good care of yourselves. Hope the rain isnt too crazy. Take good care.

[kayc]

13 hours ago, Tachi said:

My electric bill this month was under 60

Wow, my elec. bill is usually $87-92 and I don't use it for heating!  That's amazing!  What is your rate? Here it's 0.0895 kw. When I was working in Springfield, theirs was lower. .07-something.  Basic rate is $35.50 + $4.00 security light. Slightly more A/C time of year but that's not for long.

It's 50-60 daytime, 40-50 nighttime, hard to heat with firewood this time of year.  I leave a couple of windows or patio door open or it's 80 in here when I wake up, ugh!

Someone has to report the spam, then we can go to our moderation section and mark them as spammer (bans them and their ip address) and mark the post as spam and then complete.  Or we can report it and then go there and take care of it.  Some are horrific!  I don't understand it.

I love my air fryer, saves a lot of elec. and doesn't heat up the house, takes less time.  Instapots are way quicker than crockpots and great for summer, I may have to get one one of these days!

I am beyond ecstatic with Keto as a way of life, never going back to eating carbs!  I just learned that's the reason I no longer get skin tags!  So many things it's cured, my Fuch's Dystrophy of the corneas (night blindness), kidney damage, cirrhosis of the liver, insulin resistance, yesterday my fasting blood sugar was 77, today 92.  Pancreatic damage, you name it, reversed.  Triglycerides, HDL normal for the first time in YEARS!  Thing is doctors freak out over total cholesterol and LDL and shouldn't.  I've looked into it and they are totally taught wrong, doing us all a huge disservice.  I am staking my life on Keto and very pleased with the results!  It can not only reverse diabetes, but cancer, epilepsy, dementia, you name it!  Yes we'll all die eventually but this greatly extends our lives, not to mention quality of life!  I've never felt better!  Except for my sprained finger, LOL!

The rain isn't bad most of the time, it's when we get deluged I don't like to be out in it, but lately it's not bad.

My dad died 41 years ago, so it's been life without him.  My mom was always a challenge, mentally off, controlling, abusive, so I don't miss that.  She died nearly nine years ago.  She was sweet at the end when they had her on meds and she forgot all her imagined ills against people (she was extremely paranoid).  She was a challenge all my life, can't say I miss that but I do look forward to getting to know her in her right mind in heaven.  My dad was an alcoholic and although sweet and funny, very weak and never stood up to my mom, she was way out of control and horrid to us kids.  We should have been removed from their home, Lord knows I tried to get into a foster home but alas the gov't would do nothing.  It's amazing she didn't kill one of us.  So that's my sordid growing up years, not much in the way of good memories.  I am so thankful I broke the chain, so did my siblings!  I'm proud of them for raising their families as they did!

Now a snow machine Kodie would love!  He tried scooting in the dirt...not the same and mom wasn't any too happy about it either!

They left a LOT of branches for me to clean up!  Still working on it, will do so for a long time to come!  

I can't imagine doing the job you're doing!  You deserve this:
 

 

[Tachi]

Thank you

Im putting off doing what I need to do. Monday I'll be going thru the estate once more then start cleaning. House is dirty and I want it decent before the real estate or estate sale people come over to chat. I dont have the money or time to do alot for these people. Id be happiest if theyd just do their thing and go home. I have enough otherwise.

Read again that the field for what im studying is very saturated and no one is hiring new people. Theyre only hiring experienced. Which means Im dead in the water. Which shows me my brother has no idea what hes been talking about. I'm very tempted to go back to studying IT. Entry level doesnt pay much but at least theres a chance to get a job.

We had a couple hours of cool rain. Dropped to 66 and felt so nice. I could sit out and just feel the breeze for hours. 

slowly trimming this huge tree out front. It shades almost the entire yard and the branches are growing into other smaller trees. Been doing two bundles per day. Started painting the garage today. hadnt planned on it but have an extra gallon of paint and it really needs it. Tomorrow will do two bundles of branches, try and finish one wall of the garage, and start going thru estate things and cleaning. I really dont want to do the estate sale and go thru a house sale. I have to, but other than I dont know how to do any of it and if I make mistakes its very serious, doing both will separate me from my parents house and close a chapter in life. I kinda feel like there should be things of my parents that I need to keep that give meaning and make sense of all this. But that time is over. The time for that was when they were alive.

sad to me because I at one time tried to get both folks to talk about their lives and the family...neither thought it mattered. At one time later on dad asked if I still wanted to know, but I was so busy with him and studying that I felt I didnt have time. What a fool I was. Whatever regrets etc that I have I will bare it myself and it will all fade away.

I think my Dad at the end was like your Mom at the end. He became a sweet tired scared old man. But he was tough til the end. I imagine he wanted me to stay at the hospital with him 24/7. All I gave him was 2 hours a day, two trips of an hour each. he would just lay there. I dont think he paid attention to TV, didnt talk much, didnt want a book or anything. I've wondered if he just reached a point where his mind just couldnt do anything or ifhe was preparing himself for death. It will be the failure of my life that i never got him home. Sorry, having a hard time for some reason tonight. 

I think that despite your childhood you turned out to be a wonderful person and did a great job raising your kids. Your life has been a terrific accomplishment. And i appreciate all the help and encouragment you've given me. 

I saw a video of two dogs repeatedly sliding downhill in the snow then running back up and sliding down again. their owner was standingat the top of the hill holding his coffee and laughing like crazy. It made me think of kodie.

The electric bill here can get up near 200 bucks when its really hot. This is a 3 bedroom so lots to cool. I wish I could seal off most of the house. But the worst one is the water bill. that get near 200 as well. The sprinkler system is messed up so I usually water by sprinkler and hose. Its wastefull. This summer i will sit and watch it and make sure its not wasteful. The grass may all die but the bill will be smaller. This is another thing my brother doesnt get...lawncare...watering expense. For all the time doing the yard and flowerbeds takes...

We will get into 90s daily probably June amd thru august and maybe into september. We sometimes hit 100+ for many days during July/august. I hope for a mild summer.

I need to clean house before calling real estate and estate sale people, and go try and sell the rings, etc etc etc. Tbh i just want my peace and quiet. What a joke lol. 

Hope your weather is nice and the kitty is purring and Kodie doesnt miss snow too much. Take good care, hoping for a quiet week for you folks.

[kayc]

That's not bad, I have to pay for firewood which last year came to 750 for the stall, but because so much was rotten I bought another $235 but it wasn't even 1/2 cord, two rows if that, not much.  That's the most I've paid for one year's use.  I have enough to last through May, then will pay through the nose to run a heater until A/C time.

11 hours ago, Tachi said:

I saw a video of two dogs repeatedly sliding downhill in the snow then running back up and sliding down again

Aww, thanks for thinking of Kodie.  This little guy is the best thing in my life.  Seriously.  

Yesterday was hard.  LostThomas (grieving) started the day off with his thread about gun control (he's an activist), I responded that there are other thoughts on the subject and that this isn't the platform for that.  Instead of altering it, he got snarky with me, telling me I'm the only one debating it.  First of all he has no idea what my thinking is on it, I didn't voice it on purpose!  It's a grief forum.  He's always on his high horse about something and I really didn't want this to be the place to get into that, the world is divided and in lieu of the massacre Saturday...anyway I removed his thread and gave him a warning.  Instead of seeing what I am saying and being apologetic, he attacked me, viciously, all day!  I deleted his messages and blocked him.  He'd threatened to delete his posts and leave, did he think his bullying me was going to make me get on my knees and beg him to stay?  No, I do not respond to manipulation of any kind, I do not give in to it or sway.  He continued deleting his posts and left.  My one concern is he may have written/swayed others but again, I can do nothing about that.  My philosophy has always been to be true to myself and the life I lead will all come out in the wash.  It's how I lived through the divorce with my kids' dad, and that was one of the most horrific times of my life.  You just continue.

We had our church potluck and NO ONE in the kitchen doing dishes!  They all left.  I did them.  I tried not to use my forefinger.

Today Iris scheduled me with a meeting at her neighbor's to see what's up with the guy across the creek making changes to the land and what he's up to.  It could affect us all.

Yesterday she brought Jazzy over to our yard while she was with Mike's grandson and his taking Mike's stuff.  Jazzy took off after Panther and scared him off, so she must have let her loose on our place without any though to Panther instead of taking her to the front yard directly to play with Kodie.  They were there when I got home from church.  Poor Panther!  I let him know the dog was gone after she left.  I'd put a pan down to lick for her and Kodie and she wouldn't let him have any.  I told him later what a good dog he was to share and gave him my dinner dishes to clean off. 

 

I wish you luck with cleaning, I can't do it right now, it hurts to vacuum, anything until this finger is healed, I'm hoping it doesn't take over a month, it's been 15 days now.

11 hours ago, Tachi said:

I think that despite your childhood you turned out to be a wonderful person and did a great job raising your kids. Your life has been a terrific accomplishment. And i appreciate all the help and encouragment you've given me. 

Aww, thank you!  I tried, I really did, counseling until my mid 40s helped.

11 hours ago, Tachi said:

The sprinkler system is messed up so I usually water by sprinkler and hose.

Same here.  I have my outdoor faucet shut off as I cannot turn it on/off to water, I have one inside my outdoor room but ever since my son put in a new valve, I can't operate it either.  My lawn guy can though I have to ensure he turns it off tightly so it doesn't dribble.  I have a bucket under the faucet just in case..

My mom's mind was totally gone by the end, totally at the end of stage IV.  I thank God Peggy's didn't progress as far, although after evacuation I'd say she was definitely stage III.  Very hard.  I'm thankful she went before having to be moved to a care center, she got all her wishes, but oh man was it hard losing her!

 

[Tachi]

Its very hard losing those so close. Even more so to watch as they slip away. In a way Ithink it was best that Mom passed when she did and avoided alot of health issues. At some point I will not want to be here and I hope and pray to pass peacefully in my sleep. 

Those 5 days of rain...the first 3 evaporated. The weekend is supposed to be two days with alot of rain. Believe it when I see it. I dontwant to water the grass, it wont grow anyway, just weeds. 

This country has gone from a place where we all have a common obejective, but we think to acheive it in different ways...to several camps that cant agree or work together. If you dont agree with the popular ideas you are immediately a devil and the enemy. I dont even argue with people online. Nothing will sway them. I just do alot of blocking and stay away from political discussions etc. And I agree with you. This is not a place to discuss politics and policy. Grief cuts thru all boundaries and people shoul leave their agendas at the door, get on their knees and pray. Or at least support each other.

I am a people pleaser like Mom was. And I hate that about myself. But when I get pushed far enough I stand up and fight. I dont like conflict but when the time comes I'll fight til the end. People think I'm nice and they can take advantage of me. Work was like that. IF I ever get to work again I will have to be quiet and not stand for any bs. But Mom was also very stubborn when it came to family. She would fight for us like crazy. Thats one thing I dearly loved about her.

I think that all we can do is be true to ourselves and what we believe. In the end we are the ones responsible for our lives. And esp nowadays people are so deceitful and gaslighting. 

When I went through my divorce I started drinking and I wonder at times how I made it through. I really think that God had His hand on me or I would have gone off the deep end. It's hard now to imagine anything good left in Life. And I dont see me living more than maybe a couple years. Since Dad passed and my health went downhill. I never got an order for a bloodtest from the GI doctor so I decided I'll focus on the estate. Still taking the Vit-E and Milkthistle so maybe it will help.

Almost dne painting the garage. I feel like i'm desecrating a church. dad spentso many happy hours there. But the walls look so much better. I need to see if I can sell his tools and tool cabinets. I dontknow about sales tax for that. And no idea on pricing. And I need to go see if I can sell the jewelry.

I have Boost for my phone. They got hacked in March and their systems have been messed up since. This month for the second time my autopay pays my bill. I geta text and email saying the bill is paid. Ten minutes later get text and email saying I havent paid and my phone is shut off. I called and read them the riot act. The rep lied to me, told me it would be a couple hours. In five minutes my phone was on. This is happening to alot of people. I cannot have a phone service I cant trust so I'll be finding someone else.

It seems that Church needs to designate someone, other than you, to wash up afterwards. Honestly, next time I'd say dont do em. If you do em everytime they'll just keep leaving em for ya. 

Talked to my garbage man today and helped him load my bundles of branches. They are so good about taking all my stuff, and theres been so much. I wanted to thank him. He turns out to be a good young man. 

yep, still trimming branches, doing a couple bundles each day. I want to remove the dead ones, the ones growing into other trees, and the bottom ones that spread out and cast shade on my grass. 

I read the UX Experince Reddit. Lots of professionals and rookies like me discussing the field. Reading alot that no one is hiring rookies, just experienced people. The field is way oversaturated. Considering reviewing my IT stuff and pushing the UX over into UI and Design Graphics. My brother is way wrong again. He somehow thinks I will have a job soon. ive told him my main focus is the estate and house and my health and personal studies. 

I hope Kodie gets to have a fun summer. He deserves it. Maybe he can play in the sprinkler. Somehow I dont see Panther prancing in the sprinkler lol. Take good care of yourself. Hopefully some nice weather and peace and quiet.

[kayc]

Kodie doesn't like playing in water but oh Jazzy sure does!  Love those two.  You're right, Panther wouldn't like it either.

Still issues with Viasat, now they send me an email (a month later) telling me different things than the original guy from India.  Can't talk to anyone about it as their AI hangs up on me.  What will be will be.  If they bill me $300 for not returning their outside Ethernet cable so be it.  Is it worth ruining my perfect credit for it?  I can't fight them when they won't talk to me. I will send everything else back, what will be will be.  Have to wait another 7-10 business days for their box/label.\

Spectrum will credit me for six months mobile when the whole year was supposed to be free.  They are paying 1/2 of the restocking fee of $50 for the phone that wouldn't activate.  I'm eating the two trips to Roseburg.  Nothing fair about any of it but I'm exhausted from the month long fight.

I don't mind doing the dishes at church when my hands are healed, but with a sprained finger, it hurts like hades.  I'm lucky there were no pans that were hard to scrub.  If so I would have left them soaking.  As it is, I HATE it when people fill the sinks with food garbage!!  It makes me ballistic!  I've never had that habit and don't understand it, it's disgusting!  Having to dig through murky water to get it out and throw it away (across the kitchen).  So disgusting. 

Why do you think you could die in two years?  I hope not.  I'm one who would miss you and I happen to care.  I'm GLAD you are like you are, basically a people pleaser (like my sister Peggy that died) that will fight for something you need to!  Good priorities.  

Well don't go for Spectrum!  Viasat is good..  Spectrum uses Viasat's cell tower, it's the best here but some places AT&T's is, not here so much.  I used to have an iPhone with them (before they started numbering them!) but most do not work at my home, the Pixel 6a does (the one I just got) so I'm glad I got it.  

This Sunday Iris wants me to take her to our church for Mother's Day breakfast, which means I won't make Praise Team practice as I'll have to drive her the 20 mile round trip home.  Undecided if I'll come back for that or not.  I don't relish all these trips up and down the hill.

You're not drinking now are you?  That's a killer for the liver.  You might want to try SAMe as well as Milk Thistle, I had Arlie on it and I have taken it for years.  I get mine on eBay.  I'm surprised my dad never had liver cancer but he died too soon probably (he was 62 when he had his heart attack).  No one on either side had cancer except for skin cancer.  I had someone tell me that was nothing...um, nope!  Skin cancer spreads to the rest of the body if left alone.  That's why I have to go in every six months for a full body check.  Oh the fun of getting old!  I'm starting my make up time for doctors this week, every week pretty much, one to go to.  This coming week two.  Ugh.  

Maybe you could follow up and request the referral again?  Maybe they called it in and the other place dropped the ball?  Sometimes they fax and Lord knows what happened to the fax.  I don't want you to die, at least by cancer!  It's not the way to go.  My sister was so lucky to go the way she wanted.  No idea how I'll go but I imagine I'll live into my 90s, my mom's side does and I imagine I will too.  No sign of cancer or heart trouble, Diabetes under control with Keto.  Hands that don't work, but hey, I guess you can live without them!  Can't do much, but you can live.

Take care and have a good day today!  And I'm sure your lawn is fine...when the snow melted I discovered much of my lawn had disappeared, now it's dirt.  In 46 years that's never happened!  Going to see if my lawn guy will spread grass seed down.  I have a spreader.  This is what gets me, a few years ago I could do these things myself!

[Tachi]

   I'm at the point of believing all companies are liars and cheats. They say what it takes to pull people in then do as they please. If nothing else you could write a letter and keep a copy and send it so they have to sign it. Lets hope it all comes out in the wash.

When I was in college I worked in a dining hall. I made sure to rinse as much food out of pans as I could and soak in hotwater. Some that were bad i'd set on the counter and fill with hot water and degreaser. I think some people have never done it and either dont care or dont understand what to do.

I look at how the past 6 years have gone and its been a downward spiral. And the way my health fell apart there after dad passed. I dont know what else is coming. I'm having a hard time getting back in shape and thats very important. I have been eating cleaner but ive been getting cravings and been snacking. Very unhealthy. Whatever happens I'll be working til my last day.

Been working in the yard and took down a huge limb in the back. The nieghbor has a HUGE tree on the fence and it stretches way over into may yard. I just waiting for some tree wound seal and seal it off. Maybe try and trim it farther back. Other than trimming back the larger remnants of branches I'm done. In a couple weeks we get to 90 and that means the yard is on its own.

Started to test the sprinkler system and another head is broken off. Its a geyser...guess Ill use the old fashioned kind.

I hadnt had a drink for over a year. but this last week ive had 2 a night. But I'm going to have to quit, its putting weight back on me and makes me tired. I never understood my elevated liver enzymes. I hdnt drank in over a year so that couldnt be it. I still think it was from the drugs for surgery. I was taking supplements that are supposed to be safe, like a multi-vitamin, C, D, Fish Oil. So I dont think those were it. They evidently saw nothing on the ultrasound and I dont know if the MRI showed the liver as well. Thats one thing that makes me mad is the lack of information. Like the GI doc never explained why he didnt think my enzymes were from sludge in my gall bladder like the doc said. Or why he wanted to go straight to a biopsy of my liver instead of an mri. Whats he going to do, tsrta taking a biopsy on all my organs? Now the doctor's office is calling again for me to do a checkup. ive already told them Im not interested.

I guess the price you pay for living in the semi wilds is travel time. You do travel alot. Hopefully the weather isnt bad. Hopefully you can get caught up and enjoy some peace and quiet. At least the snow is over?

We keep getting forecasted for rain and nothing happens. The water bill will start climbing, but not running the AC yet.

My bloodwork didnt show evidence of cancer. It showed one marker pre diabetic but another marker for diabetes was fine. Other than spraining/tearing my shoulder I've felt fine. One of my big fears is they see an old man an d want to start running me throiugh the system and start doing alot of stuff. Im not a pin cushion or a operating dummy. The only thing that concerns me about the elevated liver enzymes is the formation of gallstones. the way things have been I just hold my breath...

As time goes by, more and more, its just natural we can do less. Good that you have someone to help though. Its amazing how much work there is to do. And its always something. I hold my breath every time we do get a storm esp when they mention hail.

I thought I was putting weed n feed on the lawn but it was just feed. Silly me. Friend sent me an article about spraying sugar water on the grass. It promotes root growth and the grass squeezes out the weeds. 

I really dont know what to do about studying. I read they arent hiring new people now. I should probably refresh my IT knowledge as my certifications expire in October. But that 225 bucks. Re subbing the UX website is 130 bucks. I'll be concerned with other things until the house is sold. 

Take good care of yourself and Kodie and Panther.

[kayc]

Alcohol is a killer of the liver so yes, I'd definitely cut back.  I was diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver from either the years I was on statins or parasites I had years ago, not sure, I don't drink so that wasn't it, it didn't show in the blood test but on an ultrasound. When the doctor removed my gallbladder she had to lift the liver to get to it and was worried about it tearing. Years later I learn CARBS does this and since I've reversed with my diet can only presume it's fine too now as it's functioning fine.  I've had no sign of stones, hoping you don't get any as well!

Had doctor's appt, they drew blood and then it was a 1 1/2 hour interview (they called it a wellness check/physical)...hmm, no one looked at me and they forgot the pinprick test of my feet, which they did a few months ago and they are fine.  Supposed to go back 6/2 for Spirometry testing so they can get COPD off my records. I was diagnosed with Asthma 18 years ago without any testing, doctor took me off the breathalyzer two years ago to see if it was the cause of the tongue issue.  No but found out I didn't need it!  May have never needed it or Keto reversed that too.  Anyway, before we got the files from a previous doctor she told me it falls under COPD category and just called it that! I wanted it removed from my records so they can stop asking me about it and they said I have to go through these pulmonary tests in order to remove it even though none were performed when they put it in my records!

Went to dentist this week, busy day in town going to watch repair, Costco Gas, Walmart (lightbulb fell out of it's socket when I put it in lamp!) so I needed new ones, Winco, started to head home and realized I was overcharged on items, so back to Winco, then sat in construction on the highway 1/2 hour so it was a long day! Each place a different area of Eugene/Springfield. Poor Kodie in the house the whole time except when Iris took him to play with Jazzy.  I did the same with Jazzy a couple of days this week.  

Kodie's vet is moving from Pleasant Hill one hour away to West Eugene 1 3/4 hours away in heavy traffic, no!  Found a new vet and got appt. set up, canceled the other one. Have an appt. to dermatologist north of Eugene, long ways away, ugh coming up 5/30.  Then another appt. w/my doctor to find out results of Spirometry test and blood tests.  Never ending. time for mammogram.  I hate catching up from winter!

Been in the 80s every day, haven't set up A/C yet, will have to be hotter before I fiddle with that, hard to do with my windows and hands.  In other words I'd have to be desperate, last year I was! Year before too only I didn't have one then.  When I ordered this it was a stand alone so I didn't know you had to vent it through your window. 

Last Sunday I had Mother's Day breakfast with Iris at my church, this Sunday I'm leaving Kodie at home so I can drive three hours to my granddaughter's piano recital and then to their place to celebrate her birthday...Bethany said for "cake," umm, I can't have cake but sure could use a burger!  Guess I'll have to bring something to eat. Iris will come get Kodie at 3 and again at 6 as I won't likely get home until 9 or 10 (hoping for earlier but doubt it). Such a long drive six hours in one day plus time there.  It's kind of like trying to survive it.  I'm getting too old for this. I wish George was alive, he loved driving. It's hard driving late at night when you're tired. I usually go to bed at 7.

Still fighting Spectrum, they issued a charge against the credit they'd issued so negating it yet no one can say way. It's been 5 1/2 weeks of fighting them, I'm getting tired of it.  Still no box to send Viasat my old equipment. Sigh...

Panther found a new place to lay, under the carport, I hope it doesn't fall on him! It's not in the greatest shape in the back.  I'm in a Catch-22, was going to have a contractor put it on bricks and replace the back bottom half but he said I need to clean it out first and I can't do that.  Have no one to help. He's Mormon and I asked about him getting the Mormon missionaries to help and I'd get a dumpster.  Haven't heard from him since.

Sometimes don't you just get tired of always doing?  Wish you well my friend.  I'd pay to renew so you don't have to start all over again and have that option open. Take care of yourself!

[Tachi]

   Beer...the other thing I consider is that its not sustainable. It gets expensive. I do enjoy the relaxation effect of two beers over 3 hours before bed. but Its not good for me. And then at what point do I stop? because its a ticking timebomb Im done with alcohol. 

Someone from the clinical transition team at the doctors company left a msg for me. No idea who or what it is but i'm so tired of them calling trying to gt me into the system. Theyve called already to have my 'health assessment' done and ive told them no thanks, dont need it, dont want a physical. Dont want them to start running tests and doing this and that. the last time they had my bloodwork the doc told me to worry about my sugars and that was all, no help whatsoever. Theyve lied to me at least 4 times and the way they misdiagnosed Dad's damaged disks and the way their hospital treated him was abominable. I need to find a new doctor. I liked my old one but she got promoted and is gone. So they 'assign' me to some guy. They didnt ask who i wanted. And partly why I have this fear of them running me into the system, tests and finding things that 'might be wrong' and running tests until they 'find' something. No. I called that lady back and left a msg thanking her but am not interested, but Im sure they'll call back. One thing I absolutely hate is when you tell people no and they continue to argue. Very disrespectful and I'm going to start being very rude when people do that. I just hope and pray i can be healthy and not need a doctor or a hospital for a long time. Because God help me if I have to go into theirs.

Although I will say that for my operation i went into the brnch in another city 30 minutes away and the staff, esp nurses were awesome. I was treated very well.

I read that drinking over 15 beers a week is excessive and damaging. I did that for years. Wasnt getting drunk, stretched it out over an evening drinking maybe 3...bt read thats damaging. But I stopped for over a year and supposedly if the liver isnt too far gone it will heal itself. So I'll hope that happened a bit and will again here. the good thing is i have no symptoms.

My nutrition is better but still need to change. I have started eating salads, but I am seeking good emotions in snacking and thats going to kill me. I crave the flavor and the comfort. I need to find a simple healthy snack or just toughen up and stop the snacking altogether.

Wow, thats a busy busy week. You have more energy than i do some days. Doctors have too many little ways of doing things. Sometimes its more about procedure than the patient. Hopefully you can get caught up and rest easy a few days and enjoy the warm weather. We've been cool, low 80s but soon up to 90. 

I hope your family appreciates how much you go through for them. that sounds like funtimes, too bad they dont live closer. I want cake at times, but I couldnt continue having it so what would be the point of cheating. Ahhh, a burger sounds really good right now. Theres a place here thats mostly in the southeast and they serve a great steakburger. Too bad theoir fries are bad. But they have things like a pimiento cheese sandwich. Mom loved those. Sometimes I think of things like that or see something i want to tell or show them. makes me very sad.

Ive been putting off going thru the estate one final time but started today. Started in dads den with all his books. My folks saved so many kids books and i actually remember them. I found the Dr Doolittle book I loved as a child and read so many times. And it struck me that my childhood, my past, is now gone. those feelings, those good times are long gone. And I was hit with such remorse that i didnt spend more time sharing with my folks the joys of childhood. I just wish they were here to sit and talk again. And yet my brother doesnt seem to have ever been much bothered at all. He's welcome he doesnt have to deal with this.

Spectrum is a pain, hope you can get them to wake up. maybe talk to your bank. Sounds like they dont communicate intrenally.

Wish there were someone out there to help you. sad that the mormons wont do a good deed. Guess theyre just as bad as all the rest. You think maybe someone from church could come out for an afternoon and help out?

I guess Panther feels safe there. I think of cats and think of one of those fancy cat towers with carpet on it. they could put a heck of one in your yard. 

How are you feeling otherwise? the hand still hurts but what about your throat, is that ok? 

I finished painting the garage and I think I'm probably done trimming the trees. they could use alot more but have to turn to other things. 

Ive been drinking water and green tea and some coffee, and going to try lemon water, which is supposed to be good for the liver etc. Any other suggestions? I do have several teas but just water gets old some days. But its good for me.

I bet the recital was nice. I know you're very proud of her. 

Honestly, i find that i waste time. I dont understand it but working on the yard or house is easy and i'd do it all day if I was strong enough. But studying or doing artwork I just drag like crazy. i have to fix this. I wish so much i could motivate to workout and get stronger and learn my new software so i can do artwork again. But I wont stop trying. just not sure what to do. 

Take good care of yourself, and kodie, and Panther. Hoping you have a good week and get some peace.

 

[kayc]

5 hours ago, Tachi said:

You think maybe someone from church could come out for an afternoon and help out?

Everyone at church is old or if an occasional young person, they don't help, different generation.  No it's the contractor, all he has to do is tell them and arrange it, but no.  Everyone wants an easy job, no fiddling with an old disabled lady.

Jack came over to see what could be done about my patio, he'll do it. I told him I didn't want to hire a contractor, I just want something cobbed together to make it last as long as I live here, when I go someone else will buy and tear down, besides, still saving for the carport. And I gave my daughter another $200 for the other two tires. Her brother fixed the oil leak in her car and replaced the timing belt, now it's the coolant leaking, I told her to check it every first of the month until she can get him to look at her car again. Could be another year. Meanwhile, she's not using her A/C. My A/C works but it's not a good one. I bought Iris SF Choc. covered almonds last week, got stuck in construction over 1/2 hour on the way home, it was upper 80s and the choc. melted WITH the A/C on!  It's cooled off so I have the heater on now, runs up the bill, but I don't like to be cold and if I build a fire it'll be too hot.  I still need to clean it out, I used it 1-2 weeks after I cleaned it out last time.  IDK, maybe it can wait.  Jack cleaned the chimney, roof, gutters, mowed, weedwhacked last night. I don't know what I'd do w/o him, and he only charged me $80, I have a pretty big yard! He also checks the trees when he's here.  And he looks at the other side of the forest from the other road coming uphill, checks it out if he sees something.

Yeah, Panther has two cat scratchers, prefers the wood posts (the cat towers with carpet you describe).  One is shaped like a mailbox, open both ends, Kitty loved laying inside it and watching the yard. Panther has never gotten up in it, maybe he'd get stuck, he is pretty big, Kitty was nine lbs at her biggest, lost down to 4 1/2 at the end...Panther is likely 20 lbs, perhaps more, although he lost a couple of lbs during the winter.  I can't weigh him but am guessing.  I have picked him up for a very SHORT duration, haven't tried with me holding him on the scale, he'd freak out.

Woke up to a sore throat and can't breathe...hayfever so bad I took three pills yesterday, one should do it, normally take two.  Between blooming allergens and USFS doing a prescribed burn, it's awful.

I totally hear you on the artwork/studying...I moderate a grief group and a diabetic group but as far as making cards, it's not only my hands hurting, but no motivation anymore.  I think that left with Arlie/Covid.  At least that's the year it happened, also that's the year my hand injuries started...14 in all since.

I was sure I'd sleep well last night but went to sleep at 7 and just got into deep sleep and Iris came over and told me my phone doesn't go to voicemail...umm, yeah, because I take it off the hook so my SIL doesn't wake me up!  Took me an hour to get back to sleep, woke up at 2, laid there until 3, couldn't get back to sleep. Sore throat and can't breathe, hayfever is bad, I took three allergy pills yesterday (normally have two).  Iris has her friend Denise' dog...Denise is dying of cancer, Iris took her into the hospital at 1 am yesterday, she's being released into a care place for a couple of days until hospice can get in place. So she needs me to tend to Jazzy today. She could have called me this morning instead of waking me up. But tthat's me feeling tired because night before last I only got five hours after my trip.

Green tea and Rooibos are both good, also lemon water. I slice up a lemon, keep in a ziploc in the freezer and pop one into my water, it tastes better too. Sometimes I'll switch to lime but prefer lemon.  I have a variety of teas, I keep in a bowl on my table, all my green teas are in a cookie jar.

Take care of yourself and heal up that liver! Keto reversed my cirrhosis and so much more, I swear by it!

 

 

[Tachi]

My neighbors are nice folks. 80s and they have several kids and grandkids in town. but theyr always busy. I mowed my yard and went ahead and mowed their front. I noticed he has a balance problem. He fell a couple months ago. She tried to catch him and fellas well. He has Parkinsons and she's doing her best to handle things. My heart goes out to them and i wish their family would come out more often.

Sounds Like Jack is a real blessing. Good that you have him to help with a few things. 

panther sounds like a big fluffy cat. Does he enjoy laying out in the sun? On less hot days i get my yardchair and sit out in the sun to get my Vit-D. Neighbor says im like an old fat cat lol. Although I lost 20-25 pounds since my surgery etc and pretty much keep it off.

Hows your hayfever doing? Do you get it for a long time? Must be alot of things out there. 

We're getting to 90 now but still 70 at night so havent run the AC yet or watered the yard. Will need to do both soon and the bills will go up. I tested the sprinkler system and another sprinkler has lost its head. Ill just do it the old fashioned way.

Whens the last time you went on vacation? I cant remember mine. Im guessing you folks used to g on family vacations when your husband was alive? Did you two ever go on fishing trips? We used to go to arkansas every summer to be with relatives and lots of fishing.

Hoping you've gotten some sleep and rest. Its always something isnt it?

I got some lemon juice and have a glass of water with lemon every day.

Worked on the folks' room today. I keep trying to find meaning in something so it all makes some kind of sense. And thats not going to happen. Trying to focus, altho I'm using any excuse to do other things. I need to go thru the estate and clean house so i can talk to the real estate lady and estate sale lady and get things going. I need to be out in six months tops. havent heard from my brother in about a month. guess I'll call him  when plans are made. 

Thank you for the encouragement. You're family now  So how is Kodie doing? I bet he is a bundle of energy. If you could only bottle it. Take good care of yourself. Hope things are peacefull for awhile.

[kayc]

Last "vacation" I had was when we took the kids to Disneyland about 30 years ago. George and I used to camp on the weekend, so many nice places here. Or drive to Crater Lake or the coast for the weekend. He loved to fish, I got allergic when my son was born and couldn't smell/breathe/touch them until this year! This year I had my first fish in all those years! Having my first asparagus tonight with shrimp.

Woke up at 11:30 and couldn't get back to sleep, gave up two hours later. Took a shower and made a big pot of my Dump Soup!  It's cooling now.

Nearby town of Lowell is under evacuation! Crazy! Started yesterday in MAY! Brush fire. I hope they don't let it get out of hand!

Taking Kodie to the vet in Eugene today, he has a swelling or cyst or something on the inside corner of his eye, will have him take a look at it.

SIL is certifiably nuts! She called 12-13 times yesterday, I allotted her two hours to talk on Monday, told her I have three (out of town) appts. this week and with helping Iris/Jazzy will be BUSY!  And she does this.  Had to take my phone off the hook. I have her blocked but the phone still rings in and it's very annoying, I feel like I'm being stalked!  I've told her when NOT to call and she does anyway.  And never anything important to say, just same old hash, hash, and rehash. Ugh.

Panther IS big but not fluffy, pretty solid. He likes laying on the ramp or patio in the sun.

 

Made it through dermatology appt. Tues. just one spot she's going to keep an eye on, I can't even see it but my eyes aren't that great.  Have spirometry testing tomorrow, ugh.  Right now's not a good time for it between hayfever and smoke...nearby town of Lowell is on fire (evacuated), last week it was Veneta (named after my grandmother's little sister)...my gr-grandfather founded the town.  It houses the OR Country Fair every year, that's a trip, unlike any other! My gr-grandfather would roll over in his grave if he saw it! 

4 hours ago, Tachi said:

You're family now

Aww, thanks! Shucks... Kodie is doing well, will feel better once I know what's going on with his eye. Wondering if it could be a plugged tear duct. I hope they can do something.

Took Kodie down to check on Jazzy right before dinner but saw Iris was home and Jazzy was being mean to him so took him home immediately and told Jazzy no treat for bad dogs!  She was being VERY bad! Tried to call Iris to find out what she learned from the Oncologist but left a message, tried once more before taking phone off the hook, didn't want to pull a Sheri (SIL) and didn't hear from her, figured she took a nap and had to call her kids, check on Denise, etc.  Hope Jazzy is better today.  Hoping Iris gets a surgery date in place soon.

So nice of you to mow your neighbor's, and I'm sure it's appreciated. My mom had Parkinson's (part of Lewy Bodies Dementia) and the last year they wouldn't let her walk as she'd fall.

Keep taking care of yourself!

[kayc]

Kodie had eye surgery, neutering, (none of it planned), shots, nails trimmed, and I need to order his flea/tick Rx and his de-worm Rx online. Have to give him pain med and some other med twice/day.  Been a long hard day, will be this way at least two weeks. The eye surgery was serious.
I changed my doctor's appt. today, have to hand feed him food/water and he won't get the cone off for two weeks, we have to come back then, my spirometry will be the next day and a follow up after the following week.

[kayc]

Took him 38 hours to pee and then he unloaded it like a tank full on the couch!  When I'd take him outside he'd ram his cone into the ground like a face plant (trying to sniff but couldn't) or sit down and do nothing, poor baby! He couldn't figure out the cone, can't drink so I hold a ladle of water (or homemade soup) up to his mouth. Going to be a long two weeks! Finally got him to pee and poop the third day.
Cleaned up the couch, smelled like hell, used vinegar/water to spray on and then baking soda, let it sit for hours (had washed the covers) then vacuumed it off, it'll take a while to dissipate. While I had the vacuum out I cleaned out the wood stove, never a fun chore and then vacuumed the house and dusted, disposed of ashes, emptied vacuum and changed the filters.  Even though we can't go on our walks now, I'm keeping busy!

Slept very little night before last and before that, so last night slept 8 1/2 hours, felt good!

[kayc]

Clorox urine cleaner delivering this afternoon, can't wait! Esp. with this heat! Used A/C yesterday, but could still smell it. I think Kodie let it out in his sleep and didn't know it.  The first three days were the worst, we're getting down to a routine now, but basically it takes all my time and attention, hand feeding him food and water. He's better at the cone now but it's still hard for him, he can't play with his toys, so sad!  Removing cone to walk him, he needs to SNIFF the ground before he goes, can't use Halti as it pulls on the eye so instead he pulls on ME!  So shorter walks, more frequently.  
Have to get Jazzy out of her kennel today, had to go twice to zip Iris into her compression chamber yesterday. I absolutely could not have left him to do this the last few days and II hold my breath and pray the cone doesn't come off!

[Tachi]

George sounds like a good man. Fishing and camping and looking up at a starry sky soothes the soul. maybe thats why so many younger people are high strung, they never get out of the city.

Poor Kodie, is he ok now? I know he doesnt like whats going on but hopefully soon he will be good to go. Theres a clorox sanitizer I used to wash dads sheets in and it worked very well. Used to spray the sheets with pet urine cleaner and sponge wipe then send thru washer. And clean the mattress just to be safe. We had a waterproof mattress cover but you never can be too safe. lots of bad memories from back then. I have to give my Dad respect for hanging in there and fighting. many regrets but too late for that now.

How are the fires. Ive seen about the smoke from the Canadien fires drifting all over the northeast but we never see anything about fires up your way. 

I held off turning on the AC until today. it was 96 and my room got to 88. It gets late afternoon sun so I placed a truck sade in the window reflecting the heat back out and then the blinds and then the curtain...but did no good. Put the AC on 82, room went to 86 and house 82. Set AC to 84 androom is now 84 so Im ok. I had hopes ofsaving myself from high elec and water bills but not gonna happen. I start watering tomorrow. next week we start a week at least of 100+. I also will be calling the real estate lady next week and try and get ahold of her friend who does estate sales. Hoping I can use both of them and they wont expect too much. I need to get this rolling. I fear my peace and quiet will soon be gone.

Ive only been to Sixflags Over Texas. that was fun  as a kid. I bet Disneyland is more fun. I hear its ver expensive now.

SIL still crazy? Does she have anxiety or something? Sounds like she has some emotional issues or something.

Praying for you some peace and quiet. Seems things are always happening. I got to where I stopped answering the phone unless its someone i know. If they dont leave a voicemail then i say its spam and let it go. If they keep calling I block them.

A Fair sounds really fun. We used to get a carnival every year but thats long gone. now we have to go to the Texas State Fair and I'll pass on that. I prefer the smaller country ones. Bonfires, hayrides, stuff like that. But those times are gone.

Do you normally sleep well? Sleep through the night? I ask because for years with drinking I would get up several times a night. After surgery it was wonderfull, I would only get up once. Since I sprained my left shoulder, and its healing, its so hard to sleep through the night. Never comfortable and wake up several times, wake up with sore shoulders and arms. Im a mess lol.

Been working my way through the house going over the estate and cleaning. A couple rooms to go. I wish I had a way of knowing what things were worth and a way to sell them where I'd get decent value. There are a few things I will try with. the rest will just have to break my heart. I think this is so hard for me because I have nothing going in my own life. Well, I'll get thru this and then hopefully will fix the rest.

In the kitchen there's a wall with peeling wallpaper that I need to strip and paint.

So how are you feeling. The hands, the throat. Does the fallout from the fires make your throat worse? And how is Panther doing? Does he just eat what you give him or does he sit on the porch and munch on a mouse or bug?

Hoping you get some peace and quiet and that Kodie gets well soon. Take good care of yourself.

 

[Tachi]

Ive been looking at AI a bit this week. made this fun little pic. I am terrible at using it but some times it makes something fun. I have also been playing with ChatGPT. it can be a nice basic research tool. Type in a question and it will search answers. To me no better than searching on Bing. maybe other AIs are better. I'll have to look when i can.

[kayc]

7 hours ago, Tachi said:

I placed a truck sade in the window

Looked it up, came up empty.

Kodie doing better, it's been nine days, I gave him a bath last night as that smell was on him.  What you mentioned sounds like what I bought (Clorox Urine Remover), it didn't totally eliminate it but it's much better. I can't spray it on him though! I figure his neutering wound is healed and I just kept the water away from his face.  He is such a trooper, it's just burst my buttons all the more for him. 3 times this week his leash came off and he just waited for me to hook it back up! So with his pulling fault comes so much more that is good and unique to him!  We're in a routine now but I still can't wait for his life to be normal. He misses Jazzy so much. I know she misses him.  I'm disappointed that Iris hasn't been to see him like she said she would. I wanted her to wait a couple of days as he was really out of it but it's been way longer than that and...nothing.  She's his favorite person in the world.

So far we aren't hit with the fires from Canada. There's been some neighboring fires but they got them out after a few days (USFS "controlled burns" that got out of hand).  I was so angry about that and wrote in! I was surprised to hear back from them.  I think they knew we weren't going to let this go, not after Cedar Creek Fire (near Waldo Lake, a beloved place of mine) last year.  That was hell on earth, for three months, burned up all of the beloved wilderness we knew and loved, not to mention the constant threat to ourselves and property. 1/2 mile from my dead end road, only way out TOWARDS the fire!

7 hours ago, Tachi said:

SIL still crazy? Does she have anxiety or something? Sounds like she has some emotional issues or something.

Calling 20 times in a day is insane.I don't know her issues, only that I don't want them.  No wonder her husband is always gone!  I still have to take my phone off the hook at night!  She woke me up four times last week.  It's easy to forget to take it off and sure enough, she'll wake me up.  A friend said to call her in the early morning and wake HER up!  I can't, she's married, don't want to do that to him.  He'd think I'm unhinged!  He doesn't know about his wife, I'm sure.  I don't want to cause him any grief, no more than what he's already living with.

7 hours ago, Tachi said:

Do you normally sleep well? Sleep through the night?

Normally  I wake up after 4-5 hours to pee, but twice this week I slept all the way through! It felt wonderful! You feel so much more rested, but it's rare I get to do that.

7 hours ago, Tachi said:

Since I sprained my left shoulder, and its healing

I'm beginning to wonder...when I fell April 23 I live with damage to two fingers, but also pulled a muscle in my shoulder...only it still feels strained and I can't raise my arm w/o it hurting.  I guess it's just slow healing...likely my age.

7 hours ago, Tachi said:

I got to where I stopped answering the phone unless its someone i know. If they dont leave a voicemail then i say its spam and let it go.

Me too. I get something labeled SpamRisk (daytime) and they call from different phone numbers (or spoofed). BTW, I got this list: https://www.fbi.gov/how-we-can-help-you/safety-resources/scams-and-safety/common-scams-and-crimes

Panther eats the food I give him, haven't noticed him eating mice/moles, but maybe he does, just haven't found anything. Kitty used to bring them to my back step to "show me."  She wanted credit!

Hands will always be a problem, I just keep going, do what I can do. Throat fine, tongue still has inflamed glands, not sure why. It started with the throat but didn't end with it.

I was totally sick yesterday...it wasn't even 8 am and Kodie alerted me, I grabbed my robe and went outside, the Rangers were back and cut my lilac tree down. It was looking more prolific than ever and Jack was going to transplant it but that can't happen now. I'm sick about it, it was always green and now bushier than ever and not as tall so easier for me to prune, I'd cut all the "starts" off last week so can't even use a start to begin again.   I wish to heavens they'd bothered knocking on my door! In fact I messaged them with their voicemail AND email and didn't get a reply. The guy who coordinates is gone until the 13th, and the gal that's supposed to cover for him apparently didn't. I am literally grieving that tree.  It was a start from my MIL's tree (she was the mom I'd always wanted, my best friend, this was my last connection to her, she's been gone 36 years now).  It was the first thing I planted here, 46 years ago.

I hate how AI is taking over and you can't get a real person on the phone anymore. Amazon's drives me insane, nothing can turn me into a raving maniac more! They always want to text me for my approval but with my last phone I couldn't receive them and don't want to count on mobile up here.  BTW, Spectrum did it again, and someone wrote on my account not to give me any credits! So I guess I'm blackballed.  Nice, they've hit my M/C for a monthly fee and I'm not supposed to have any.  I hate those people with a passion but am stuck with them. I like their service, just NOT their customer service/employees. Ugh, I've  never seen a company with less integrity.

Good luck wallpapering with that shoulder! You might want to hire that job done...your dad's estate should pay for it.

[Tachi]

oops sorry a shade for the windshield of a truck. it helps maybe 2 degrees. 

Heat in the 90s and will climb, no sign of rain. have to get ahold of estate people next week. I sent pics of the lemoges dishes to a place online and they cant identifyit. they said its custom made Victorian era. That tells me is rare and valuable so it wont be in the estate sale.

havent felt good for a few days. need to get my butt going and get my energy back. 

For all so many people talk about the environment and conservation and the money that gets paid...and then the people in charge make bad mistakes, it gets so frustrating. Almsotas if they dont really know what theyre doing.

Yep, she has issues and he suffers, hes a good man for not leaving. My best friends exwife was nuts. She and I got along fine. But she was recovering from drug and alcohol issues and had other issues all her life. Her parents really appreciated him and told him they'd always think of him as a son. 

My ex was nuts off the scale, used me to get away from her folks, and scarred me for life. I was never able to have a serious relationship after that. 

My shoulder...Its healing and getting stronger. When i remember i stretch it in every direction, it hurts but has to be done. I dont want to lose function. I dont leep well, cant get comfortable. so i wake up, I toss and turn. maybe one day. And now it will behot til October. I have to wait to sell the house til after mid october to avoid appreciation taxes, hope the market stays strong.

My mom got arthritis bad. She had to quit painting. her hands got gnarled and twisted fingers. tried everything but nothing helped. I still think of my folks all the time. i guess that doesnt change. I found a soapstone carved in Tibet that I had given Mom. She put her Chanel no.5 in it. I keep it in my room as a reminder. I think of dad in better times. I didnt understand what he was going through and should have done things so differently. I stopped taking him out to eat because of covid. But at his age it didnt matter and i should have taken him anyway. I have so many regrets and dont know how to deal with them, they serve no purpose now.

I dont see how the rangers can just come cut a tree down. I would think they have to ask or tell first. I would be really mad. Some places you go into someones yard unasked you get shot at. maybe Texas is different.

You can file a complaint on Spectrum with the FTC and th atty generals office. Could also talk to the bank about charging it back. Companies dont understand that their software is only as good as the person who wrote it, meaning its broken already. 

I can see the business benefit of AI, but as you say automatic customer service systems are a crime. there will always be many instances that the system cant handle. people, esp us older folks, want a person. Theyre going to use it for all the things they can eventually. What no one is addressing is all the people out of work, who wont be employable. The ones available to the public, as far as i know, can gather information but not draw conclusions. But for all that the public has, the military and powers that be have AI that way ahead. Ive been playing with art and its interesting, I played with music the other night and fun. Its in its infancy. I doubt I'll be around for the full development but society will be in for some big shocks.

After the estate sale and/or sale of the jewelry if it happens will hve some fixit money. I know of fixing the sprinklers, lots of electrical issues. im guessing from the outge during the storm and i didnt know about em all when zi talked to Ins....lots of small things. but costly. i have a couple holes in the garage to fix and the wallpaper replaced by paint. the carpet needs replacing but doubt that happens. I need some of the money to pay the mortgage so Im not going broke. What i read in several places is the estate should pay the mortgage and bills until the house is sold. And if the executor is fixing up then he can stay in the home. Unfortunately my health ruined all plans. theres a 2000 dollar mortgage and only 700 a month from estate savings to help, so i get the rest. One day this will all be over and I'll rest. If i make it. 

Take good care of yourself. Hope you can get some peace and quiet and some rest.

[kayc]

I spent two weeks at home taking care of Kodie, no easy feat having a cone on a dog's head, I had to hand feed him water from a ladle several times a day, also food. He couldn't get the hang of the cone and would ram it into the bowl, etc. Finally took it off after nine days and only put it on him at night, he needs to sniff to pee, otherwise he'd ram the cone into the ground and get his face against stobs and muck. Took him back to get his stitches out Thursday, she had to dig the scissors into him to get them out, he cried with each one, it broke my heart but he was a good boy. Took him to get groceries with me, he's been registered a service dog for a year but I hadn't tried that yet, put him in the top place where toddlers go in the basket, he was an angel and everyone in the store made over him! They all asked to pet him and he was lapping it up! After coming home and putting the groceries away, the dogs got together, had to jump Jazzy's case the last three days about NOT putting him in her mouth and carrying him!  She's not the angel Iris thinks, but Kodie loves her so that's why I take him. They missed each other for over two weeks, the longest they've been apart.

44 out now, will be 53 today, 40 tonight, 47 Mon., 41, 51 before heading into 60s.  Been using heater am and A/C pm, it's crazy!  It was 80s a couple of days ago!

I hope you find a place that will unload the dishes for you at a good price, maybe on consignment?

They got my consent the first time they came and we talked about what they'd do, this time they didn't even let me know they were here! Kodie announced them but by the time I got outside it was too late.  The tree was prettier than it had ever been.  He said he'd thought he was doing me a favor.  I literally grieved that tree.

I love that you keep your mom's perfume and think about better times.  

The kids have still gotten nothing from Peggy's estate, the house sold Jan. 6, it's nuts. Not a word from the lawyer, "waiting for the judge to sign off..."

AI answering the phone places is crap. Amazon, Honda, All of them use it, I hate it, it puts someone out of work and they never accurately ascertain what you want or help you.
II hope your shoulder continues to heal, ain't it fun getting old! I'm feeling it too. Thankful no snow to shovel but not looking forward to wildfire season, been fires around but not here yet, praying NOT this summer!