My Sanity Needed Vents

[kayc]

I would think she'd have to talk to them directly unless you have a POA. You might have to get someone to come to her house with a notary to accomplish that..

[Widow2015]

17 hours ago, Margm said:

Her little chemo brain and my 80-year-old one do not know how to handle this..  They have given her numbers to call but she has just given up. I know I've got to fight for her.  She has no one else.

Marg:  Your sister is so lucky to have you there.  The SS office visit or a call to the office might help.  Being an 81- year- old myself I understand what you are saying.  Your stamina to keep going for your family is amazing.  

I thought Kay's suggestion to contact a notary's office was a good suggestion to start.  Keeping you in my thoughts.  Dee

[kayc]

I'm lucky in that Iris does wills, living wills, POA, has notaries, has advanced (medical) directives, etc. Redid mine last year and plan to take a copy of the medical forms to my doctor Friday when I go in.

[kayc]

Gwen, still wondering how you are, please update when you can!  Seems it stopped when you fell, I hope you are okay!

[Gwenivere]

I am here.  Going thru pain patch withdrawal and very messed up.  Writing this is tremendously hard.  Thank you for caring.  Dee and I are not getting along either, worst ever.

[KarenK]

Finally connected with my PCP's office and of course, he wants to see me. I have an appt. on 6-26. Supposedly he wants me to see a neurologist and a neurologic opthamologist(whatever that is). Not sure I want to get involved in all that. If something serious, I can't afford the meds anyway. Should have just opted for the fancy glasses and moved on.

Trying out a new dentist next week that my son found through the dental insurance he recently purchased. He and my grandson said the dentist recommended by our retired dentist was "an obnoxious prick". They both need a lot of dental work. I'm just hoping he can save my last few teeth.....

As usual, falling apart faster than I can keep up with. Seems age 70 was a catalyst for ongoing physical breakdown. Such is life....

Broke my heart to see that actor Treat Williams was killed in a motorcycle accident. Really liked him especially after watching " Everwood" earlier this year.

Hang in there, Gwen. Hoping it will get easier soon, on both fronts.

[kayc]

10 hours ago, KarenK said:

Seems age 70 was a catalyst for ongoing physical breakdown.

I hear you, I turned 70 nine months ago. My skin is flaking faster than I can put cream on it, which gets on my glasses and blurs my vision. I don't see others my age flaking! It started all of the sudden this winter, I thought it was windburn because of shoveling snow so much, nope! It's summer, still flaking.  My dermatologist laughed and said "Yeah, we call it 70."

Karen, can you just tell your PCP and ophthalmologist you can't afford all that and just want glasses?!  I hate going to the doctor, I have to go in Friday.  I hate their never ending questionnaires that you have to fill out. I have to take Kodie to the vet (out of town of course) tomorrow. 
DIL wants me to babysit two days/nights in July. Getting hard at my age. Her parents there is TWO of them and they bring them to THEIR house, me, I have to drive six hour round trip to the boondocks, GPS quits at the end, always hard to find. I hate the drive. She has no idea how hard it is, nor cares. But it's the only way to see my grandkids.

Gwen, I am so sorry you are going through so much, with the pain patch withdrawal and with Dee. My heart is with you...

[Widow2015]

20 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

I am here.  Going thru pain patch withdrawal and very messed up.  Writing this is tremendously hard.  Thank you for caring.  Dee and I are not getting along either, worst ever.

Gwen:  Good to hear from you but wish you didn't have to be going through so much still.  Pain patch withdrawal and Dee's issues sound unbearable.  😢 Hugs to you from someone who cares.  Dee

[kayc]

Gwen, I am thinking of you and hoping you are okay.  I hope the withdrawal continues to lessen and Dee lightens up. It sounds like hell between the two.  Sending you gentle hugs...
Kodie had his stitches cut out, it hurt as she poked him with each one and he cried but he was a good boy. I took him into the grocery store with me and he sat in the top of the basket, next time will line it with his blanket.  He was an angel and everyone made over him, wanted to take him home, asked about his breed, he was definitely a hit, they all wanted to pet him! Favorite dog shopping for sure!  We came home, got the groceries put away, while he peed, ate, and drank, then went to Jazzy's. Sure enough she picked him up in her mouth and carried him and nothing Iris said would stop it.  Was a little disappointed that after 15 days apart that's how she acted.

[KarenK]

Kay, I hope Jazzy was gentle when she picked him up. Maybe she sensed he was hurting and was trying to be motherly? Has she done that before?

[Widow2015]

6 hours ago, kayc said:

Kodie had his stitches cut out, it hurt as she poked him with each one and he cried but he was a good boy. I took him into the grocery store with me and he sat in the top of the basket, next time will line it with his blanket.  He was an angel and everyone made over him, wanted to take him home, asked about his breed, he was definitely a hit, they all wanted to pet him! 

Kay: I am visualizing Kodie in the grocery store and have to smile - Understandable why he was made over by everyone.  I remember his pictures you've shared.  He reminds me of a stuffed toy.  😊  Dee

[kayc]

On 6/16/2023 at 3:10 AM, KarenK said:

Has she done that before?

She does it all the time and no she's not gentle. I yell at her and chase her...that's what I was doing two months ago when I tripped on one of the pavers and hurt myself.  She creates scabs in his neck/back area when she gets too rough, it's only when we first get there. And contrary to Iris' wishful thinking, she does NOT drop him even when he cries out!  Yet I know she loves him, I don't know if she thinks she's his mom or what but he's too big for her to carry like that! And he adores her. I feel sometimes like I'm throwing him into the lion's den!  She didn't do this when they first got together. Maybe it's dominance, IDK.

 

[kayc]

18 hours ago, Widow2015 said:

Kay: I am visualizing Kodie in the grocery store and have to smile - Understandable why he was made over by everyone.  I remember his pictures you've shared.  He reminds me of a stuffed toy.  😊  Dee

He is so adorable, he gets told that a lot, he knows it's good.

Went in for my spirometry test and they wouldn't do it because I'm not on an inhaler, so my medical records still have it in there and they can't remove it.  Going to ask the doctor to put a statement in there, my lungs are great, so is my oxygen. Medical is as bureaucratic as government.

[Margm]

5 hours ago, kayc said:

She didn't do this when they first got together. Maybe it's dominance, IDK.

For Kodie's sake, quit going.  I guess one has to dominate as the alpha, but if the fence is between them, let them play on each side of it.  They will get enough exercise and "play dates" won't turn into fights.  

[kayc]

We don't live next door to each other and it's the highlight of his day.  And it's not a "fight."

[Margm]

On 6/17/2023 at 3:22 PM, kayc said:

We don't live next door to each other and it's the highlight of his day.  And it's not a "fight."

Sorry, thought you were living very close.  I hope he is feeling better.

We have 191,000 people still without power with the temperatures going past the 100 mark and hope they have generators.  I can tell you if they can afford them, the generator sales are through the roof, unless there are trees through the roof.  Hit a neighborhood of really nice homes and trees were through so many roofs.  It was a miracle no one was hurt.  Daughter went to urgent care with bronchitis and they were full of people needing oxygen and "help" period.  Places offering free showers.  Some places won't have electricity until the 28th.  We were so lucky, but these storms are breaking out nearly every day.  Huge areas affected with tornadoes and hail.  The straight line winds were hurricane strength.  Still have our electricity (knocking on wood), but getting outside, Marty's dad would be ashamed of me.  I didn't glow, but I sweated my clothes wet.  Hear it is all moving over to Mississippi on to the coast after sitting on Texas, Arkansas and Louisiana.  

[KarenK]

Marg, I just saw the news about the awful weather happening in your area. Glad to hear you are safe, although miserable for sure. 102 here, but dry as a bone.

[Margm]

Brianna said we lost it for a few minutes (electricity) and we were without it in the daytime for about an hour.  My sister is the one I worry about.  She has to have her oxygen.  I don't understand the workings of that but know she has lines all over her apartment.  I slept through it all.  We were lucky.  My nephew and his partner are w/o electricity and he's not built for heat.  

 

[kayc]

Glad your power came back so quickly, we lost ours for a couple of hours this week (unplanned, couldn't have come at a worse time as I was on the toilet and had just done my business, you only get two flushes, had to use them so was concerned what if it's for days? Ended up having to go again so went our in the woods, glad I have that option.

Today it's been 18 years, George, hard to believe, after the first few years it all seems much the same, but one thing is for sure, I have never lost my love for you or missing you. I could take you back in a heartbeat to finish out our lives together...I know, a pipe dream.  You'd love Kodie and Panther.  I've slept on our love seat ever since, it's seen better days. Still have our bed, if you were here I'd use it again.  Love you, George.

[Widow2015]

16 hours ago, Margm said:

  We were so lucky

Marg:  So glad you are safe.  Dee

[kayc]

Gwen, I worry about you, esp. with your living situation, I hope you can let us hear from you.

[V. R.]

Hello everyone. I haven't been on here for a while, I just wanted to see how you are all getting on. You have all been so empathetic and helpful towards me. It's been two and a half years now since the love of my life suddenly left this world. I still can't believe it's real even as I write this. I'm learning to cope better, but that's it really, you just learn to live with your grief, there is no healing or moving on. Moving forward yes, because Time (which has become my worst enemy), and our human instinct forces us to do that, but I believe in Continuing Bonds, I will always feel as if my C is still with me, only not physically. I miss him more and more each day, he is constantly in my thoughts from the moment I wake up until the moment I finally fall asleep at night, and then  often dreaming about him - I wish this  would happen more often. I'm not the same person I was, I can't be, but that fusion of minds that we shared, remains. I realise I think like him and make decisions that he would have made, knowing that he always made the right ones. He has left me and my kids all his knowledge and wisdom, which I hope we will never forget. I manage to solve particular problems knowing what he would suggest. I always discuss matters  with him, ask him what he thinks, what we should do in certain difficult situations, share happy moments with him, imagine his reactions and his funny comments, remembering his sweet laughter, teasing me jokingly, but when I  can't "imagine" what his reply  would be, I just want to run away from everything and everyone, and scream my heart out. All this new responsibility (and loneliness) I have now, has made me tougher, more intuitive and sensitive to others, more open-minded, but at the same time more impatient and intolerant. Like I have said, I hate this TIME passing by without him. While my mind and soul remain trapped in time, my body goes on in a  a mechanical way, just carrying on doing what I have to do, just existing. There are some happy moments filled with joy, like when my daughter graduated from university , but these occasions are always accompanied by that underlying sadness, tears ready to emerge at any moment, thinking about what he's missing, the photos without him, that empty chair, me feeling like I was a "half person", he, should have been  there!! 

I hate that people think I should be "over it" , everybody seems to avoid talking about him,  except if they've been through this themselves, (I hardly ever speak to anyone, anyway, apart from my close family members). He will always be in the "present" for me. That special connection we have, cannot be broken, not like the marriage vow seems to imply : "till death us do part". It hasn't parted me from him, even though it has parted us physically,  I will still continue to hold, love, honor and cherish him. I mean this in a positive way, I take comfort from this, gives me hope, helps me go on, helps me to still be a mother to my kids and a daughter to my parents. 

Gwen, I'm sorry to hear about your fall, I hope it wasn't too serious, sending you well wishes for a speedy recovery. Marg, sorry to hear about the harsh weather conditions, hope you are all safe. We've just come out of two long cold  months of constant rain, thunderstorms,  serious flooding in many areas, with victims, as you've all probably heard about in the news. Luckily, our areas were saved. The sun's finally shining again. 

Sending a hug to you all.  

[kayc]

3 hours ago, V. R. said:

you just learn to live with your grief

Exactly. And no moving on from it.

3 hours ago, V. R. said:

I hate this TIME passing by without him.

My George passed 18 years ago Father's Day, June 19, before they started calling it a holiday for Juneteenth.  It seems unbelievable to me that much time has passed...one day at a time.  

 

3 hours ago, V. R. said:

everybody seems to avoid talking about him

Looking around my church of 23 years the other day I realized only two people there that knew him. They've all died or left. That is sad to me.  That leaves my family and I don't hear from them. I miss my one sister (she died 3/28/22) that would bring him up, I love hearing his name come up, people talk about their memories, but they don't.

I'm glad you checked in! We miss hearing from you.

Marg, let us know how it all came out with the weather! And Gwen, let us know how you are even if it's short.

 

 

[KarenK]

V, it is nice to hear from you and to see that you are moving forward. Do that at your own pace and disregard the comments of those who don't understand. It has been 10 years since Ron left and yet there are times when it seems like yesterday. I think it will forever be that way. Some bonds are never broken.

Congratulations to your daughter. I understand the mixed emotions. My son graduated the week we buried his father. He would have been so proud.

Take care. Sending peace to your heart.

[kayc]

How are YOU doing, Karen?

Dee?

My daughter made plans to meet me for lunch (out of town) the day before her bdy (she has to work then). Made my day! I may have to take Kodie with me (he's registered but I haven't taken him into a restaurant before.  Iris usually gets him when I have to be gone but with her cancer surgery coming up I'm sure she'll be unable to.