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hello,

I'm recently widowed (forgive me if my terminology isn't great still haven't figured out what to call myself).

Well I could sugar coat this but how would that help.

My wife died Nov.11, 2006. She was daignosed Bi-Polar 1 and bulemic.

She snuck out of the house at 1:30 am and got into a car accident with another man in the car. My son (4), my step-son (8), and myself were woken up @ 8am with a knock on the door. She died at 6am. The last image of her in my kids and myselfs head was her sleeping in bed.

Since then I've lost custody of my step-son. Moved out of my house (financial reasons) and have been in utter torment.

I'm in therapy, but hung up on the past.

Hope I wasn't too "cold" but not sure how else to say it except truthfully.

I loved her with all my heart and feel so betrayed.

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My wife passed away on April 8th of this year from a heart attack. I have a 7 year old son. I wish I could say I relate to the feelings of betrayal, but I can't. What I can ssay is I can relate to having a son to raise without his mother. Anytime you need someone to talk to, just feel free to post or send me an e-mail. I will be glad to talk to you. I know this has to be a difficult time for you with this happening so close to Christmas, I know it is difficult for me and it has been over 8 months. Hang in there, and trust God he will get you through this. May God grant you some peace.

Love always

Derek

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This is such a difficult time for you and your family and I'm so sorry. We, here on this site, have all suffered some sort of tradgedy and loss, whether recent or some time has passed but we are all hurting and trying to find our way. The people here will listen and share and maybe that will ease some of this recent pain for you. Deborah

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Hello,

I am so sorry for your loss and feelings of betrayal. I lost my husband July 5th of this year. I like derek cannot relate to your feelings of betrayal and I wish you didnt have to go through that on top of the loss of your loved one. I also am raising a son on my own and it isnt easy. It really helps to talk so I am glad you are seeing someone for that. Come on here and talk alot too it really does help. Take care

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Dear SadinSC:

I want to tell you how very sorry I am for all you have suffered and all you have to go through. Your feelings of loss are great and they are further compounded with the circumstances surrounding her death. You are not alone in having suffered betrayal on top of the loss in death. Please refer to the threads in my posting on "Betrayal" and you will see you are not alone. It helps to know that there are others who have been through similar circumstances. You are not responsible for any of this, and I am so sorry you're having to deal with this. I am glad you are getting help. With time, you will work through all of this. You will undoubtedly have a lot of mixed and confused feelings of anger, love, missing her, everything. Please accept and understand that all of these feelings are normal and to be expected and that they are all okay. I have run the gamut with all of this and am finally, after 18 months, coming through it okay. God be with you in your grief journey...you have found a very caring and understanding site to share with you as you travel it.

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SadinSC,

Im very sorry for your loss, we know how hard this is for you and besides dealing with the rest of the problems that have come along... I'm really sorry.

You are very welcome to come anytime, here there's many supportive people who know what you are going through and their words can be of some help. It's very hard to deal with this pain by yourself.

Take care and blessings to you, your son and step son.

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I too am sorry for your loss. I lost my husband last December and my Grandmother this past Nov. and am also raising a son alone. Never a good time, but this time of year sure does make it harder. Loss can be a very cold feeling, don't beat yourself up over being honest. People here really respond with support when you post a need.

You know, I realized to day that I have not said Merry Christmas to anyone in 2 years. When they say it to me I just say thanks. Merry just doesn't describe how we feel right now.

Take care of yourself,

Karen

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SadinSC

Unwelcome Discoveries is another thread you might want to check out.

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I'm so sorry about the loss of your wife and custody of your stepson, and your feelings of betrayal. What a terrible, horrid time this is for you. It is so much more than one person should have to bear. We all, here, understand grief and pain. Please come here and post anytime. I have found that no matter how much it hurts to write about my pain - somehow it also feels better to allow my self to share it. hope it will hep you to know that there are others here who understand the pain such great losses. ~STOO~

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Dear Sadinsc,

I, too, am so sorry for your loss - and to compound that - your feelings of betrayel.

The thing that immediately came into my mind when I read your post and her diagnosis, was that she was 'ill'. We are able to excuse a lot when someone is physically ill - we must try to excuse a lot if someone is mentally/emotionally ill. It would seem to me that her being with someone else had less to do with YOU and more to do with HER - and her illness...still, it is nevertheless, extremely painful to be going through what you're going through and I'm very sorry for that.

Keep coming back to this site - where many caring people are!

Love, Benita

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Oh my day got a heck of alot worse.

Her mother (root cause of a lot of her problems) decided to strong arm me with a court ordered visitation with MY son. So been at the lawyers. I will not have this woman screw up another child.

Thank you for all the links and kind words. This death has been hard. I've had no time to start my greif. Her family has been so selfish and didn't do a thing except make things harder.

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SadinSC,

I am so sorry you are going through so much. Maybe the silver lining to the cloud of her family is that it is putting off some of your having to deal with your grief...until such a time that you are more ready for it. It takes a lot of emotional energy to tackle what you are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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