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Just Lost My Son In Car Accident


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Dear Bob

I am so very sorry for your great loss. My children are around your son's age, 27 and 30. I lost my husband of 35 years to lung cancer in June/06. I well know the numb feeling. The people on this site are all very caring and will help you so much - even if you don't want to post you can just read what others are going through and have been thro as we are all at different stages in our grief process. You can learn a lot here - especially that there is no right or wrong way to grieve - only your way, and you can vent here and say whatever you like, however you are feeling and we all understand. Marty has a wonderful course on the first year of grief at selfhealingexpressions.com called The First Year of Grief: Help for the Journey. I took it and found it really helped me. My prayers are with you and your family tonight and always. Jane

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Dear Bob, I am so very sorry for your loss. My boyfriend died in a car accident on Sunday March 5th, 2006, and we buried him on Saturday March 11th. He was 27 years old. I turned 27 on March 13th, 2 days later. This numbness and shock may last awhile but it is there for a reason. Josh's parents have become so very close to me over this past year so I feel your pain so closely. Keep coming back to this site; there are so many people here that are so caring. There's also an organization called Compassionate Friends for parents who have lost a child. Many hugs, Kelly

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Thx for the replies.

Let me expand a little about the situation at his death.

My son was 34, with a wife and daughter 7 left behind. He wanted to be the perfect father for her, especially since he did not think I did the best job....... had went through a divorce........ he never really got over some of the problems resulting from that and we were discussing (usually ims) issues related to that and how I raised him (lived with us for 10 years after divorce, then abruptly moved out to live with his mother and step-father when he was 18), almost to the day he died. He also had some problems with his brother, and his brother was estranged from his mother........ so was not the Brady bunch at the funeral.

Will add more/clarify later on.

Bob

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Bob,

Your loss is tragic, my prayers are for you. I lost my 35 year old sister in November last year and I know that my parents are still devastated as am I. She has three small children as well and her husband decided he needed to go home to be with his family. It has been so hard for them to lose their daughter and the presence of their grandchildren that used to live across the street. It will take a lot of time to heal, but there is hope. Keep in touch with those around you that are a good support and keep coming back here for whatever you need. Take care of yourself.

Janine

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Hi.

Am feeling more down right now because had argument with wife..... she wanted me to get some work done this afternoon that has been accumulating long before my son died...

And before get wrong idea.. she is a good wife. She is grieving too, she just lost her step-son too, and she was more of a mother to him (as far as being what my definition of a responsible parent is) than his own (best friend) mother! And she went through a loss 20 years ago when her husband died leaving her with 2 young children (about 12+13). She has been there for me along with my too strong (at least on outside) other son, so this loss, I am sure, brings up some old hurt in her. I guess I just don't feel like committing to working today, at least not old unfinished work.

Bob

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Bob,

Maybe she's venting to you because she doesn't know how else to handle it. Give her a hug. Sounds like you both need it right now. Maybe it's hurts too much for your wife to see the pain you are going through. Try to talk to her so you can have each other rather than turn away and try and deal on your own. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I loss my Mom 7 months ago therefore I have a grieving heart. My sister and I are very close and yet for the first 6 months after Mom passed we couldn't share our feelings. We couldn't handle each others pain. Acually, we could hardly talk to each other and when we did it was a "How's the weather" type of conversation. I can also relate to many other parts of your story. I come from a broken home and am not very close to my father. I have two stepchildren that I am very close to. I can not imagine what I would do if something were to happen to them, God forbid. Everything your feeling is perfecty normal. Not wanting to do anything is par for the course. All those projects are just not going to be important for quite sometime. Give yourself time. One day at a time. One moment at a time....

Peace to you and your family.

Missing my Mom,

Trudy

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Thx Trudy,

We did recover, gave each other hugs, believes she understands where I am at. She finds some relief by doing the work, I may too, but guess I just did not want to commit to it.

Bob

P.S. I am sorry for you loss.

Hugs to you, and to all others who are here for us.

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  • 4 months later...

Bob! Hi just wanted you to know you are not alone. My son died in a motorcycle accident March 5th 2007. He was my only son. I know some of the pain you are feeling. My husband feels better getting out and doing things, I don't. It all seems pointless right now. Sean was 18 and my best friend. They tell me to take it one day at a time and one minute at a time. My thoughts are with you! One day I hope we learn to accept, it's still to soon.

Prayers are with you and your family, and please pray for me and my husband.

I firmly believe we won't be able to do it without them.

Dolores (forever Sean's MOM)

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Bob, I am so sorry to hear about your son. I also lost my daugher in a car accident March 2. She was 31 years old and 8 1/2 months pregnant. This has been the worse time in my life, so I know exactly how you feel. I have began keeping a journal, this has helped me. or either the antidepressants..There is nothing anyone can say to make it any better. Just try and get through each day. I am so sorry again for you loss. May God bless you and your family.

Libby

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