teny Posted November 8, 2007 Report Share Posted November 8, 2007 Hellow my friends today it is my wedding anniversary.I just can not find words to say how much it hurts.Im so desparate will it ever get easier or I have to folow him soon?Noo meaning.just pain.TENY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpodesta Posted November 8, 2007 Report Share Posted November 8, 2007 Teny,Anniversaries are the worst especially the first ones. You will be in my thoughts and prayers today.Love alwaysDerek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted November 8, 2007 Report Share Posted November 8, 2007 Hi Teny,I know it's very hard. Maybe just try to remember all the good things you've had together....whenever a sad thought creeps in immediately replace it with a very happy one you've had together....I know there were many of those....and this day will pass. Love to you, Teny.Your friend, Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzanne Posted November 8, 2007 Report Share Posted November 8, 2007 TenyI am so sorry for your pain. Wedding anniversaries are especially tough. I will be thinking of you today. I hope things will get easier for all of us. One day at a time as everyone says.Suzanne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corinne Posted November 8, 2007 Report Share Posted November 8, 2007 Teny,My thoughts and prayers are with you today. I know it is hard but try like Karen said to replace the sad thoughts with happy ones and know that Tiany is with you and so are we.Hugs and prayers, Corinne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesertBob Posted November 8, 2007 Report Share Posted November 8, 2007 Teny,I have to agree with Corinne. There is no end at all to the broken dreams, the loss, the agony of losing your soul mate. I saw in the past couple of weeks that if I don't break the vicious circle somehow it was going to consume me whole.I force myself to take inventory of the positives in each day, and permit myself a good head-banging about the negatives maybe once a week. It is astounding how much that shift of focus helps.Our anniversary is coming up Dec 3. And Dec 1 was her birthday. I am going to a fancy restaurant that weekend where we would probably have gone together and I am going to enjoy a delicious meal in her honor. And I'm putting a rose on the place where her ashes are. Ceremony helps too for some reason. I'm not kidding myself, it will be an effort of will, but I suspect I'll end up having an overall better day with this approach then with cowering at home and wringing my hands.For a very, very, very (did I say very?) though-provoking video about the nature of happiness, go the the link below and scroll down to video #6: "Are we happy? Or not?" Amazing stuff.www.lifehack.org/articles/miscellaneous/the-ten-videos-to-change-how-you-view-the-world.htmlFeel better,--BobI know it is hard but try like Karen said to replace the sad thoughts with happy onesCorinne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gail_R Posted November 8, 2007 Report Share Posted November 8, 2007 Teny I am so sorry. I know how you feel I had my first anniversary without Bruce in Sept. and that was one of the hardest days. Just know that we are all here for you. Come a talk cry and we will be here to help you through this. God bless you and know that you are not alone. Gail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted November 8, 2007 Report Share Posted November 8, 2007 Bob,Great site....I've bookmarked it. Thanks!Your friend, Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesertBob Posted November 8, 2007 Report Share Posted November 8, 2007 You're welcome. Actually the original videos (many more than on the link I originally gave) are at www.ted.com. Many of them are quite thought-provoking and interesting.--Bob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted November 8, 2007 Report Share Posted November 8, 2007 Thanks, again.....bookmarked that one, too. I need a break from my little home business, transcribing courtroom proceedings, and this will help a lot.Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted November 8, 2007 Report Share Posted November 8, 2007 Thanks for the video, Bob ~ fascinating stuff. I think it was Abraham Lincoln who once shared the profound observation that "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Criskz Posted November 8, 2007 Report Share Posted November 8, 2007 Teny,Yesteday was my one year wedding anniversary, so I know what you mean when you say it hurts so much. But I decided it was a day to celebrate by remembering all the times I spend with him and not to a day for grieving. Of course easier said than done, but I did tried my best .Anyway you can try the same. Celebrate his life, celebrate that you loved him and he loved you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted November 8, 2007 Report Share Posted November 8, 2007 (edited) Criskz: Good for you! I remember my wedding anniversary, especially that first year, was extremely painful, and I mostly tried to ignore it.Teny, I am so sorry Honey. I know it hurts. I wish there was some way I could take your pain away.KayC Edited November 8, 2007 by kayc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarrysGirl Posted November 8, 2007 Report Share Posted November 8, 2007 Teny, hold onto the love you and Yanni shared, he is still with you in your heart. Thinking of you, Deborah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted November 8, 2007 Report Share Posted November 8, 2007 Teny my dear dear friend please and I mean please try to get your mind off the fact that today would have been your anniversary. Steve passed on March 7th and our anniversary was on April 28th so I had to go through that the month after he passed. Do you know what helped? I asked my sister to come over and we played Monopoly and had some snacks and a couple drinks and she did a wonderful job of keeping my mind busy. That is what you need to do, keep your mind busy and before you know it, it will be after midnight and you would have gotten over another first. Call a friend to do something or go out and get yourself a puzzle, or a book....anything that you can do to distract yourself. If you sit there and keep thinking of what today is it will eat away at you, and please remind me of this when my next first comes along, okay? Remember we all love you here and we are with you just like when you went to his grave, you are a strong lady and you will get through it !Love,Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teny Posted November 9, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 9, 2007 Derek Karenb Susanne Corinne Bob Gail Griskz Kayc Deborah Wendy.Thank you for being here for me .Counting your names I realise that I do have my far away friends support.I followed some of your advise and Im spending the day with my grand children and stay with them tonight.Bob I found the site but dont understand about the videos.I do apreciate your way of thinging but it is difficult tofollow and shake away negative thoughts.Im stuk with all Ilost and cry over and over saying goodby to the life I knew.My doctor told me to start group therapy and IL do so next month.Im taking some herbal meds that not help for the moment.THANK YOU ALL TENY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lorikelly Posted November 9, 2007 Report Share Posted November 9, 2007 Teny I am always thinking about you. i know that it must of been such a hard day for you. i hope and pray that each day you will find a little peace . keep writing. lori Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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