Frustration

[dpodesta]

Hello all,

It has been one of those weeks and it finally all came to a head. I got off early today for a therapist appointment for Carson, that all went well. I thought since we were off early I would get some long pants for him for winter. Five stores and 5 hours later no pants. He is at a size where he doesn't fit into boys anymore but he also doesn't fit mens. I don't care about the lentgh, I haved a sewing machine and hemmed his pants last year, it is just that I can't find pants with a snap instaed of a button (he can't work the button it is too stiff) or elastic waist. Not to mention I went to the mall to try and find some. I don't mind the mall, however this is the mall that Karen and I would come to several times a month so this brought op a ton of memories. I haven't been to the mall in ages so I am walking along feeling very emotional, very frustrated and left without a clue on what to do. If Karen were her she would know what to do, I am not a clothes shopper I can't stand shopping for clothes. Clothes have to be almost falling off of me before I will go and buy some for me and I am easy to find the right size. I also applied for a Supervisor position at my work and having to look at myself and where I am and what I want for the next few years, I had to step out of my box, so that has been emotional as well. I am tired of having to do it all. I am tired of not having an adult at home when I come home to share my thoughts and feelings with. I have let the house get cluttered over the past year and it is driving me nuts but I don't have the energy to get it picked up and I don't know where to even start. The back computer room is a disaster and I don't even want to get into that because there is a lot of Karen's stuff in there and I don't feel like dealing with that right now. Anyway, thanks for letting me vent, I was going nuts tonight and couldn't wait to get home so I could get on here and share all of this. Thanks for listening and being here for me.

Love always

Derek

[WendyJ]

Derek,

I am glad that Carson's therapy went okay but feel so bad the rest of the day did not go as well. I too hate the malls, mostly because I have asthma and between all the chemicals that are on the clothing and peoples perfumes and scents such as candles etc. ,I not only get to the point where my lungs get so bad that I can barely walk never mind breathe but I get massive headaches. I actually know alot of people who also say they get headaches at the malls. I have learned to shop on line and for someone like me who is a home body I actually love it. I can comparison shop at different stores you can use those flyer coupons on line too and I can take my time and even shop in my pj's with a cup of coffee without my make-up on. Maybe you can do this ( minus the make-up part mind you...LOL ) or even just get a look at who has what and then take Carson out. Yes you have to pay shipping but you don't have to pay gas ! I know what you mean about not having another adult to talk to, I do not still have a young one at home, so I know how rough that must be but I work by myself all day in my own office for a family owned body repair business and motorcycle sales....I am the office so I have a quiet day at work and then I come home to the same thing now...nobody. Nobody to tell my day to, to talk over what to have for dinner, what is on tv that night or even about a stupid bill that came in the mail. Tonight is another one of those typical Friday nights, all alone, feeling sorry for myself and in tears. And to top it off I am very worried about William. What would we all do without eachother Derek? I know I myself would not have come this far without my family here. As far as cleaning just start with one room at a time, do alittle here and there. You will find that as you accomplish things around the house it does make you feel better and alittle stronger to handle your stress.

Love,

Wendy

[karenb]

Bless your heart, Derek...

Stepping out of the box isn't easy, I know. And going to the Mall isn't my cup of tea either, but it's got to be done if you don't want to shop online. First, I'm so glad Carson's appt. went well. I have a bad time fitting things because things never fit me well, either, because I'm a small size, but I have gone to the little boys department and get an inseam and waist to pretty much fit me....I have the sewing machine that helps out here and there. I know it's frustrating being a only parent, I was that way with three kids for many years while my ex-husband did "his" thing and I still am now but with much older kids. You're forever a parent. It's very difficult, but most of the time you sound like "Super Dad," and you really are. I hope you get pats on the back, my friend, because you deserve them and here's one. You might feel better if you straighten up the clutter....they say it also clutters our minds. Maybe the two of you can do it together. Whatta plan before the holidays...maybe? Dealing with Karen's stuff will happen when it's right for you, just wait till then, just leave that room till the last. I wish I was there to help you. I'm a good cleaner upper person. My clean home would disgust you! Hang in there, Derak, you're doing such a wonderful job being the breadwinner, your son's father, and true to yourself and your Maker. Cheers to you!!!

Your friend, Karen

[dpodesta]

Wendy,

It is difficult ordering online due to sizes are so different between brands and he is so hard to fit for. I am going to look up the brand he has now and see if I can find them in a bigger size so we will see how that goes. I usually love being in the malls, I enjoy people watching.

Karen,

Thank you so much, I would love to have my house spotless, we used to keep it somewhat spotless and I do miss that. I actuallt started in the garage last weekend trying to get it somewhat straightened out so that I can park a vehicle in it, I hope to get to a point to get both of my vehicles in. It just seems like a monumental task right now with no end. It would be an easier task with someone else. Carson is somewhat of a help however he loses interest to fast so it doesn't last long.

Love

Derek

[karenb]

Have you looked at Old Navy or Hanes or Penny's online, or look up that brand and see where you could get it? Besides, it would be fun for Carson to get something in the mail...I love that! My size is unique as well, but they give you a chart to try and fit by...I don't know...just a thought!

LU...Karen

[dpodesta]

That is what I am going to try. I have the brand name I just need to find their site and see what they have. Now that I have been home for awhile now things like that make sense, when I first got here my mind was so over run with thoughts abd frustrations that I wasn't thinking straight.

Love

Derek

[karenb]

Good for you, my friend. Deep breath and go for it!

.... Karen

[lyn]

Hi Derek,

I am glad you are feeling much better now. when i first read your post, all i can do is offer a prayer for you and carson. hope u have a good sleep tonight.

[Stallyn]

Derek my friend, I didn't know what to say, but its a relief that you feel better, Myrna and I used to go to thrift shops and by clothing there, some of it was better than store brands for cheap. I know too well coming home missing a mature conversation, you really held your head high through this time and doing seemingly something impossible. Heres a cup of java for you

[DesertBob]

Ah yes Derek, no matter what all that spam in your in box may claim, you are a Real Man and this just proves it: clothes shopping gives you brain cramps. This is what makes women love us -- we are so charmingly helpless!

The only solution I have found with children's clothing is to get your son to become 18 or more years old. Mine is 21 and HE BUYS HIS OWN CLOTHES. It is the coolest thing. You should try it. Of course he has brain cramps too, but I raised him to be a propeller-head like me and nerds like us can get away with anything. I once got a picture from a client of mine, of Dilbert pondering two stained shirts and wondering which stain goes best with his tie.

So in summation: testosterone shots for your son, and computer programming courses for you.

Hang in there,

--Bob

[karenb]

Bob,

OMG, you are just too funny! I bet you had your wife in stitches all the time. I'm not used to the Acronyms for this but, I'm Rolling On The Floor With Laughter at your words!

Karen

[WendyJ]

Derek my friend, I didn't know what to say, but its a relief that you feel better, Myrna and I used to go to thrift shops and by clothing there, some of it was better than store brands for cheap. I know too well coming home missing a mature conversation, you really held your head high through this time and doing seemingly something impossible. Heres a cup of java for you

Hey I'll have a cup too William, I bought Dunkin Munchkins today we can all have those too !

Love,

Wendy

LOL LOL LOL Propeller Head ??? Oh Bob that is too funny !!!

[Stallyn]

But we won't give Bob any, hehehe funny guy needs less java! Dunkin donuts yesss! love em

[WendyJ]

Sorry you took too long to answer me and I ate them all ! With my Dunkin Donuts coffee no less ! Heheheh

Love,

Wendy

[Stallyn]

I guess I need stop procrastinating LOL bet you won't be sleeping tonite??

[teny]

HI DEREK .I.hope you feel better and found a solution with your little one.You feel you have to much on you for your age but having to look for someone who needs you that must keep you going.having carson both of you can make a house feel like a home again.I wish I had someone to look after and feel another breath by me.All this stuf about shoping in a mall or on line it is all greek for me! It is a rainy afternoon saturday lonely and all of my friends that do understand far away.Take care of your self hugs from Greece TENY.

[AnnieO]

Derek,

I was shopping the other day too, the mall my mom and I used to go too. It was pretty tough. A few times, I thought I would have to run for the door.

Someone suggested Old Navy for Carson, good idea and also try Gap for Kids.

Years ago I worked in a women's clothing store, we always got such a kick out of the men that would come in the day before Xmas Eve, looking for an outfit for their wife. I would ask what size she wore, they never knew, but then always said, "well, she is about your size" . There was no way all these men could be married to women that were my size. The day after Xmas most of these gifts came back and the women would say, "I don't know how my husband thought this was the right sz". Good luck with the shopping.

[WendyJ]

All this stuf about shoping in a mall or on line it is all greek for me!

Teny my friend your sense of humor has come out and I say that is progress for you. You had me laughing when you wrote that since you are from Greece. Thanks for the chuckle today, it is cold and snowy here and as usual I am by myself also. I feel like I am sitting in the middle as the whole world goes on and revolves around me. I am going to look for something to keep me busy today, try to enjoy your day !

Love,

Wendy

[dpodesta]

Wow, snowy in one area rainy in another, today is sunny and in the high 70's. I just got back from taking a truck load to Community Store House which is like GoodWill. The garage is starting to look like I have gotten a dent into getting it cleaned out. I tried GAP for Kids and didn't have any luck. I will have to try Old Navy. I didn't have any luck on-Line today either, I will have to spend more time latter.

Teny,

I thought the same thing when I read you post about it being Greek to you and you being from Greece. I hope your day has been good.

Thanks to all of you for your replys, I am doing better today, I am still a little frustrated that I can't find clothes for Carson, I am thinking that if I don't find something soon I will ask my older sister for help, afterall she has 4 kids.

Bob,

Unfortunately Carson is only 8 so I still have 10 years. I also think that I will deal with the problems of find clothes rather than being completly by myself in this house. He can take his time in growing up.

Love always

Derek

[WendyJ]

William, Hehehe yes if I have something sweet here to eat you better move fast or it will be gone !!!Had no problems crashing last night though but at least I took my meds early so now Derek will not yell at me, thank goodness he watches out for us huh William ?

Love,

Wendy

Derek you made some progress with the garage !!! Good for you ! I wish you had the same luck with Carson's pants though, is he big or small for his size, is that why you are having a problem? Have you tried Sears and Penny's too ? Wasn't that funny when Teny said " That's Greek to me" , I am still laughing !!! Oh well if you can get work done today and Gail too then I better get my butt in gear too. Talk to you later!

Love,

Wendy

[dpodesta]

Yes, he is big for his age, could stand to lose some weight, if he would lose just about 10 or 15 it would be great. I have tried Sears, Dillards, JC Penney, Target, Walmart, and Khol's. I have tried to find the manufactor of the ones he had last year. I will be working my 2nd job tonight so those of you that take meds at night you had better do so at a half way decent hour.

Love

Derek

[karenb]

Maybe getting your sister's help might not be a bad idea, huh?

.... Karen

[lorikelly]

Derek

It sounds like you have alot going on right now, i can understand why you are so frustrated. my little one is hard to find pants for he is so thin. he too can't do the button and wants only snap or elastic. i have found that lands end has elastic and also i just picked up some pants for him at Childrens Place , they have alot of elastic waist.

I am glad that the therapist went well. will he be going back? how is he doing in school?

did you ever think of having someone come in to clean for you. i don't mean every week b/c that can be to expensive. maybe once a month. it could help with the clutter. just a thought.

Hope you have a better today tomorrow. love lori

[Corinne]

Hi everyone,

Sorry I wasn't around yesterday. I had to take my dog to the vet in the morning, he had to have a root canal to fix his broken tooth and take care of my neighbors dog for the weekend. My older daughter had a sleeper over last night so I only had the little one and she was having separation anxiety with her sister being gone. I also got a call from a friend who said John's sister call her and was saying some things about me again.

Derek,

I have a problem with my little one and clothes. She has drawers full of clothes and she just won't wear them. She finds two or three things and that is all she will wear. Needless to say my washer is constantly going trying to keep the few things she will wear clean. I'll find Carson pants if you will get my Kayla to wear something different. Glad to hear you made some progress with the garage.

Teny,

You made me laugh also, thank you my friend.

Wendy & William,

I just made two batches of cookies. Did you two take your meds?

Karen,

I went to Hawaii once and well you know how my luck goes, they were in the middle of the longest drought in ten years. All the normal waterfalls and tourist sights were dried up. It was still beautiful though, I would love to go back again some day.

Hugs & prayers,

Corinne

[dpodesta]

Lori,

Yes, Carson will be going back to the therpist. He told me how he is going to do things and soon he will start talking to Carson about his feelings about Karen's death, I am not looking forward to bing there for those sessions, although I know it wiull help him. I do have someone come in and clean every other week, her job is to sweep, mop and dust, all of the clutter needs to be picked up by myself as even I don't know where it will all go and what needs to be thrown away, so it isn't anything that anyone else would be able to do.

Love always

Derek