Noticing Other Couples

[kath]

I know we have all felt our heart catch when we see other couples. I was brought to tears even in church when I saw a couple holding hands. Tonight, there was one, walking down the street together, side by side and I couldn't help but notice how much they seemed to "fit" each other...same walk, same speed, same size, etc. And I thought about how Bob and I looked alike in some ways. They say the more you are together, the more you start to look alike. (They say that about pets too and that is why we specifically did not get a pot-belly pig.) Anyways, it sort of made me smile thinking of what a good fit we were for each other and I wondered if anyone else experienced that. Did you resemble your spouse or were you total opposites?

[Boo Mayhew]

We had identical eye colour and hair colour. But he was a foot taller than I and double my body weight (but he wasn't fat, just big build, muscular). But we still fit together well. I'd wrap my hand around his thumb and one of his fingers because his hands were so much bigger than mine ... in fact my feet were the same length as his hands! And when we stood side by side out socializing ... I fit under his arm just right and used to slip my hand in his back Levi's pocket. When I sat on his lap I always fit perfectly and could sleep like it sometimes if we were out somewhere late. When we hugged at the beginning of each evening after getting home ... it felt right and easy, like we were one.

Thanks for asking this question, even though answering it was bittersweet, I can almost taste how it felt :-)

Boo

x

[DeeGee]

Total opposites! John was tall and skinny and I am short and fat. (Not fat when we started out, but I was still short then )

[lostluv]

We are both tall. He was 6'2" and I am 5'10". That's where any physical similarity ended. He had a long torso, broad chest, little bit of a belly and NO butt. I have long legs, short torso, very small upper body and I have a butt. He was thick and I am thin. We fit very well though. We always held hands. Fit perfectly for hugging and dancing. I always slept with my head on his chest and shoulder, my right arm and leg draped over his body. When he woke up a lot of times his arm would be asleep from my wt. I always told him that he needed to move me if that happened. He said that he didn't want to because, "You look so comfortable." When ever we went to friends etc we always sit next to each other. If there wasn't room for both of us, the other would sit on the floor and lean on the others legs. ALWAYS! Our personalities were very similar.The kind that you never had to explain, because you knew that they got it. We laughed a lot and seldom disagreed. I sure do miss that.

[kayc]

We were opposite composites...when we married I remember we had to special order our rings...mine was smaller than usual and his was bigger than usual...always he was the "big bear" and I was the "little bear"! (We used wedding bears on our wedding announcements). He had beautiful blue eyes whereas mine are brown/hazel.

[marsha]

Kath - I had to wait a day to post, after I read this. It's very emotional. Joe was taller than me, 180 pounds, put some on over the years. Why I couldn't post was that I can, in my mind, remember everything. I would go to bed earlier than him, and before I went to bed, sit on his lap, hug and kiss him. I can picture kissing his eyelids, I can remember the smell of his skin. He had the most amazing blue eyes - piercing, and with his Slavic high cheekbonesss, he was a striking man - beautiful to me, always. I'm 5'7", and we always fit well - we held hands, when we went out. Oh, what memories this brings out . Hugs, Marsha

[valley]

Kath,

Tom and I were a match, but different. We held hands when we walked down the street and I loved that. He was a bit bigger than me, but as the years progressed we started looking at each other more eye to eye. Tom had a little butt and had to wear a belt to keep his pants up and I always laughed and told him , "your butt must have got shot off in the war". I mean no disrespect. Tom was in the navy between wars and sailed all over and loved it.

I so remember his hands and how often I would say, "clean your nails Tom". How bad thinking of that now. He worked with his hands, everything was using those hands. At night when he would come to bed we often held hands and talked a little bit before we started reading and he would turn his light off before me. In these later years.

Physically we were sort of the same body types.....he a few inches taller than me, both sort of normal body builds- not skinny, not fat, brown hair, darker brown hair....but the eyes, mine brown, his hazel/blue.

Yes, watching people holding hands makes me happy. Happy for them. I know the closeness of that and cherish it. When we first met we formed a perfect curve when we went to sleep at night. Later...we loved each other but liked our leg room!

Much love for this memory,

Valley

[Fredzgirl]

I notice other couples and wonder why me. Why am I left without a partner? How fair is that? I remember feeling that at first when I was divorced as well. Fred and I didn't look alike ... he was olive skinned and brown eyes. I'm fair and my eyes are more blue/green. His arms were hairless and his skin unusually soft. I liked to kiss the top of his bald head! We shared the sofa most evenings with him sitting on one end, holding and rubbing my feet ... me stretched out with my feet in his lap. In bed we would start out at night "spooning" but as the night wore on, he would change position to breathe better. I usually ended up sleeping diagonally on the bed with my toes searching for his by morning. Now I sometimes stack his pillows up close to me so I can sleep.

[Mrs. B]

Hi, I get a pang of jealousy when i see couples together. The other thing that really bothered me is when my sister and law and her husband split after 30 years and I was sure that when she lost her brother that it would have here change her mind. This is there time to be together and do things when your children are not home anymore. Rick and I were alike . We loved to eat. I loved to cook him bbq. We had the same ideas. It was like he could read my mind. He would say something that i would be thinking. He could push my buttons. He could make me cry at a drop of a hat. He said that he could get that bottom lip of mine quivering . We loved camping and we were both farm kids and new what hard work was. I have him on a pestle now. mine you we had some big disagreements and it seemed it was his way or no way. But id let him have his little temper tantrum and the next day he would do something that i had been asking him to do for ions. That was his was of making up i guess. He was 6 feet me 5' 6. He had large hands but soft and mine would fit inside his. We were both overweight but he could lose it and gain it during which time of year it was. Winter he gained like a bear but in summer when it was his physical work he lost. Me I stay the same. I miss him so much. His huges in the morning and at night before i went to bed because he was a late nighter watching tv. I still leave the tv on at night when i go to bed. Its soothing for me cause it was like when he was here and i could hear the tv on and occasionly hear him laughing at something on the tube. Today i am going to a memorial tree planting in honor of him and many others at our conservation area . They do this once a year to keep the forest growing. Ill be hard. But it is a nice day for it

Never take someone for granted.

Hold every person close to your heart.

Because you may wake up one day

And realize that you've lost a diamond

While you were busy collecting stones.

This is the poem that I had on his memorial card at the funeral home. We had a big fight one night and i had it posted on the fridge. He read it the next morning and just looked at me . I had it laminated and it is still on my fridge.

[shyman]

Me and my beautiful wife Tanya were complete opposites in so many ways but we fitted each other like a glove.

I am skinny she was a large lady, I am shy she was outgoing and bubbly, I am messy she was very clean and so on.

I personaly have"nt noticed other couples yet as it has only just been two months since the Love of my life was taken from me at such an early age. I am still in shock and greith...

shyman Australia

[kath]

Thanks everyone, for sharing what I know is incredible hard. I can picture you all with your loved ones and it makes me smile.

I miss my Bob. he was just 3 inches taller than me (still short by anyone's standards) and we fit perfectly. We walked many miles together and when we hunted, I'd walk behind him (I told him it was so I wouldn't get us lost, but mostly it was to look at his butt.) We worked the Sunday crossword puzzle together, rode bikes and he made the best cup of coffee ever. He'd tan, I burn, he sang goofy songs, I'd laugh and wonder where they'd come from. I think I look more than ever like he did (possibly because I've taken a liking to his t-shirts) and often wonder if he'd still find me beautiful. I've seen three eagles this weekend. Eagles are my sign from him. They couldn't have come at a better time.

[Korina]

Ha ha, Valley!! My Scott had a flat butt, too. One of our friends used to call him flat ass. And one of Scott's "Scottisms" was always "I'm not wearing any pants!"

Korina

[Korina]

Scott and I were so similar in some ways, and so different in others. We had many of the same interests, lots of similar personality traits, but then again, many different strengths and weaknesses. The best I can say is that we complemented and completed each other. I still feel lost without my other half.

Korina

[mlg]

For me it is excruciating to see couples hold hands, slow dance, but most of all the anniversary pictures in our local paper just KILL me. The 50 year plus ones are the hardest. We wanted to be there so badly.

We were alike in many ways especially our long legs. He had a 35" inseam (hard to believe from a kid who was barely 5'9 when he graduated from high school), mine 34. We both were the "right size" when we got married but both gained about 70 lbs over the years. Tom had no butt, I have a shelf. He was 6'3 me 5'8. He had red (auburn) hair, me really dark brown, his eyes hazel, my dark brown. He had a lot of skin problems over the years especially with his hands drying out and cracking.

We could finish each others sentences and so often in talking would find out we were thinking about the same supper we were hungry for, missing going to the same place all of the sudden, etc. Sometimes it was almost spooky. We didn't need words, especially in those last 4 months. The looks, the touches told it all.

A wink was our signal that we loved each other if we were across the room from each other and became an exaggerated joke on his last trip to the hosp. My girls and I will always remember those last really big winks and a quirky little grin.

I'd better quit before the sump pump starts running from the tears.