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Feeling The Need To Shake The Sadness


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Good morning all. I woke up today - day 5 of no sunshine, with probably another 3 days before the sun will shine in my area again. Probably not a good thing when you are already feeling down.....but today for some reason I woke up ready to shake all the sadness and try to grasp onto just a little positive - with the hopes that it will expand into maybe some happiness again??

So I am going back to a thought that someone had put into my head a few weeks after Jeff had died. Everyday try to think of one positive in your life. Think of at least one thing that you are grateful for. Of course at first it's never easy - but I for one have discovered that when I am focused on something that I am grateful for, I am less likely to dwell on all the negative things in my life.

So today, on this rainy gloomy day - I will try to stay focused on the positives in my life. I am grateful that I won't have to water my lawn for a while?? :)

Sorry, couldn't resist a little humor. Seriously though - I am truly grateful that I have been blessed with two wonderful teenage daughters and that being married to Jeff brought two wonderful teenage stepdaughters into my life. I am also grateful for my two dogs - Buddy, my yellow lab and Freckles, my rat terrier.....who even when no one else notices that I've walked through the door at the end of the day - they always come running with tails wagging ready to give me lots of puppy kisses.

For all my friends here - I hope you find just one thing today that makes you smile.

Hugs,

Tammy

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Tammy

Bill and I had a habit of expressing what was good about the day (what we were grateful for) every night...I still try to do that. Does not remove the tears, sadness, etc. but reminds me that there is still good stuff in life. Good luck with your resolve. It helps. Mary

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Good for you, Tammy...I was the one that shared that story, how God had put a dragonfly magnet into my path that said "Find joy in each new day" and I knew it was meant for me. I still have that magnet up.

It is a good thing to remind ourselves of often. I think it's good you brought it up, because with all of the bad things that have come my way lately, I know it's going to take concerted effort to maintain positive attitude, and I need it, more than anything, more than ever.

So I will pact with you to also remind myself to find something good in each day. We'll have to share notes, why not do it right here in this thread...just a short little something to say what we found good in this day? It might helps all of us remember that there ARE good things, we just need to remember to look for them! So no doom and gloom in this thread (post that in another)...this one is for positive things!

Okay here's mine today...

Last night my boss changed my hours (I'm laid off effective 6/1) through this month, I am to come in an hour later and leave an hour later. At first I grumbled inwardly about it because I wake up early so all this will mean for me is I'll have a shorter evening now, but this morning I got up and had so much time to spare, I was able to play with the dog, read the newspaper with a good cup of coffee after my morning walk with Arlie, and it was just such a leisurely morning with that extra hour, instead of feeling rushed, I felt relaxed by the time I got to work!

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OK, here's mine--

I got an email today from a former student from 23 years ago who just wanted me to know that he was thinking of me.

Harry

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Dear Ones, I think this is a wonderful idea ~ thank you, Tammy! I am reminded of another idea I'd like to share with all of you. Earlier this week I received a message from a colleague (Lynn Johnson, PhD) describing how his friend (Marcello Spinella, PhD) had invented "a simple variation on the gratitude diary."

The suggestion is that "you keep a diary of things you see that you find elevating and inspiring. Imagine you see someone help another person. Suppose you see a cat taking good care of kittens. Or perhaps you read about a woman creating a program to help needy children in the schools.

"The idea is that the general feeling of elevation occurs when we see something inspiring, a situation where one person helps another, when someone sacrifices to lift someone.

"Like the video, 'World's strongest dad' featuring Dick and Ricky Hoyt, the story of how Dick Hoyt has pushed his son Rick who has muscular dystrophy in hundreds of races. The video features them completing the Hawaii Ironman, a 2.4 mile swim in which Dick tows Rick in a dingy, then a 112 mile bike ride, and finally, a full 26.2 mile marathon."

I love this idea, and so I've started my own Elevation Diary. Here is my first entry:

Heartwarming! Elephant Billie has her ankle chain removed after five years at the Elephant Sanctuary in Tennessee:

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I love these ideas...both the gratitude and the elevating/inspiring ideas. I will do both of them each day. I am used to the gratitude as Bill and I did that every night...but I quit for long time after he died and am just recently returning to the habit we had. I love this as the need to focus on the positive is needed and does not mean we are no longer sad but just focused on two arenas.

My elevation entry today is that I saved one of the three robins that got knocked out of their nest during the night. Two were killed probably by a crow but I was able to replace the nest and the mom and dad are back nurturing the survivor...may be a metaphor in there also. :) The survivor is doing fine...

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Tammy,

It's good to see positive energy during such a tough journey, I have been practicing this for some time now and it works

because we truly do have much to be thankful and grateful for.....I start each day by saying "Good Morning God, Thank You for another day" and "Good Morning Ruth" just as if she were here, I have also figured out this grief thing likes depression and if your down things are much harder...I am at 15 months since Ruth passed and I feel a new grief now that I practice this "positive energy attitude"....it's like the qoute....

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain".-- Unknown

Take care and keep it flowing....

NATS

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I just walked in the door about 10 minutes ago and I'm exhausted - but something told me to sign on the computer.

Tonight was my daughters band/chorus concert and I always look forward to them. Our high school has a lot of talent and I am always blown away.

Well, thanks to them I have my own gratitude/inspiration/elevation story. I am the assistant to the special education director in our district - on a daily basis I get to interact with our special needs students. I see how much they just want to fit in with everyone else, and tonight for the first time some of them performed in the chorus. Our chorus is fantastic - they've won awards all over the state and always put on a good show. They started singing Bridge Over Troubled Waters and I could feel the tears coming......and then there was a slight pause in the music. A boy with Down's Syndrome and severe hearing impairment started belting out a portion of the song solo, and when the rest of the chorus was supposed to join back in they were all cheering so loudly for him that we could barely hear them singing. The acceptance, the tolerance and understanding was so overwhelming - I was so proud of all of them.

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts - I AM uplifted! :)

Hugs,

Tammy

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I love what all of you have shared!

My uplift today is all of my wonderful siblings...I can't tell you how much they mean to me. We had a mother who was crazy and a dad that was alcoholic, so we learned to bond together with each other and are still so close today. We have a "round robin" email going, and I can't even begin to express what it means to know we are in each others thoughts.

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Here is my bit of joy for today:

I have been working to put together a team for the two local Relays for Life that help support cancer research. Today, we finished the logo and the design for the t-shirt. When we were done we decided to print out poster size reproductions of the front and back logos for the shirt. The art teacher, who has been a good friend--and was very close to Jane-- handed me the first proof and said I should take it home. But I turned to the student who had done most of the work and said to her, "No, this is yours--the first proof should always go to the artist." I thought the kid was going to cry in the joy of the moment--someone had called her an artist.

While we were waiting for the next proof to print the art teacher got this huge grin--"You know what would really sell? This logo on a canvas carry bag."

The idea is as brilliant as the design.

Once I figure out how to shrink the size down I think I will use the graphic for June as my picture instead of the one I am using now here.

Then as we walked back to my room we ran into the guidance counselor who was working on the school's memorial garden. She told me they had just finished putting in a new section of the garden that will be dedicated to jane's memory. It is a small bed at the entrance to the garden that has a small rhododendrom (sp?) a clump of daisies and some gadzillias (sp?). It will eventually get some mums as well. She said they are working on creating a new garden that will go in the courtyard, all of which they plan to dedicate to Jane.

Peace,

Harry

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My positive energy and happiness today was going out to dinner and a movie "Water For Elephants" with my friend Brenda the first Friday in a few weeks since we put things in slow motion and she held my hand, Oh! what a wonderful feeling again...we also ran into my son at the restaurant where we ate, in fact we ate at the same table as they were finishing dinner, we had a nice visit with him and his girlfriend...my son was shocked to see Dad out on a date which was funny as he was the one who encouraged me and said just give it time...

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Its still early, but here is mine for the day so far.

I ran a 5k this morning and finished first in my age group--50-59--in a time of 33:04.

Of course I was the only male in my age group...but I was the only male in my age group. There was a woman in the age group, but I have no clue whether she beat me or not. Probably did--I was not exactly the fastest person on the course.

But i did beat some of my students.

Harry

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Well, I am having trouble being positive today but I did just drive home from Chicago where I got a good vision report; did not get extremely heavy rain en route; and had a visit with my brother who did listen pretty well. My friend with breast cancer does not have to do chemo or radiation. So I am focusing on all those things that are all good.

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Well today the hospice group that my bereavement group is affiliated with held a memorial service for all of our loved ones.

My two girls went with me - it was a very simple, touching ceremony......and at the end we all gathered outside (yay, the sun was shining!) and they released some beautiful butterflies. It reminded me of the balloon release we had done for Jeff's birthday - absolutely breathtaking! :)

Hugs!

Tammy

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I'm thankful today/now for speaking to my oldest son in Ohio we had a great talk, he's planning a trip to Florida in October...I'm also thankful for waking and seeing another day.....

NATS

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Yesterday I drove to Portland and back to my nephew's graduation party, and it was nice, I even got to see my son and granddoggy! We've had good weather the last two days even though rain was predicted, so I guess that's something to be thankful for, esp. in Oregon!

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Thankful the tornado is going a few miles north of me...about 10... but worried about those up north. Hopefully it won't touch down anywhere....hail the size of big balls...north also. Grateful.

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Today I am grateful to a family friend who not only cut down two huge dead pine trees that I was worried would fall on my house - but he also milled them so that the wood can be used to build a shed to replace the temporary one that collapsed over the winter.

My brother will start building the shed this week - I had always teased Jeff that when the permanent shed was built we were going to name it "Manland"......now I need to come up with a name for it that will honor Jeff. <3

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Tornado risk is over for all....grateful.

Perkins808....have fun naming the shed...Jeffland? Jeff's Place? Enjoy.

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I'm glad it went well for you yesterday Perkins, and have fun naming the shed! I'm glad you have some help availed to you too.

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Today's bits of small joy:

I finished my grades for progress reports tonight and am even for the first time all year.

I set up the furniture on the deck today and decided to have lunch out there. A hummingbird came by in mid-sandwich to use the feeder--so I had lunch with a hummer!

Good news on the trees and the storms. No idea what to call the shed but I am sure you will come up with something good.

Peace

Harry

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Folks,

Our art teacher has come up with another great idea yo keep Jane's memory alive in our building even after our current students are gone. Jane always challenged her students--and when they wanted to give up she would chide them with a smile and "We are Not wimps--We are Wildcats. The wildcat is the school mascot. She wants to put that on rubber bracelets and sell them through the school store with the profits going to the fight against NECS.

Another teacher wants to build another garden in the school just to honor Jane and sent me her plans for it today.

Hope this lifts some other spirits as it has lifted mine.

Peace,

Harry

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