azbrian Posted June 17, 2011 Report Share Posted June 17, 2011 Happy anniversary Nats Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted June 18, 2011 Report Share Posted June 18, 2011 Friends, I went out this afternoon with friends from school. Two of us are retiring at the end of the week so there was some melancholy to the meeting. But we laughed at memories of people we have worked with and the strange things that happen over a career in teaching. It is good to have friends in both these worlds. Thank all of you for your friendship here. Peace, Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nats Posted June 18, 2011 Report Share Posted June 18, 2011 Thanks Brian....well had an enjoyable evening having the cookout, being the host I had no time for sadness, I did miss my Ruth and had some moments during the day and today as Brenda and I were talking about her I had some tears but that's normal....I'm thankful and grateful once again for another day of progress, I notice the grief is taking a turn just have not figured out which way but I'm in control so I hope it's not planning on any detours....once again I conquered a rough day and shook the sadness.... NATS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perkins808 Posted June 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 18, 2011 Today I am grateful for friends who have reached out to me knowing that I am having a hard time.....even when they are dealing with their own struggles. Thank you!!! Hugs, Tammy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 friends, Today was graduation day--my first without Jane--and my last as a high school teacher. I am going to write a longer, separate post on that elsewhere tonight. As i got into the car NPR was playing a country song. All i caught was the chorus, "i may not be an angel, but i love you anyway." Later I caught a piece of a polka sung by a woman about how she would, "Love you forever." There was Jane again--playing into my head and reminding me that no matter how alone I am, she is there. Also as i left school this afternoon, there was a doe just the other side of the lights. I have not seen a deer anywhere since Jane died. Later, in a very built up area, I saw another doe. The last time I saw a deer was driving Jane into Dana Farber. There were three of them up on a hill--a doe, a buck, and a fawn. They were up on top of a hill well off the road and turned and vanished over the rise as we drove by. I went by her grave this morning before graduation. the flowers i left there last Sunday were still there--and strangely looking as fresh as they were a week ago. It was a day of small miracles--and i am thankful for every one of them--even the ones that reduced me to tears. Peace, Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 20, 2011 Report Share Posted June 20, 2011 I just made a homemade strawberry pie, I guess that's a little joy! And Arlie didn't knock me down today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 20, 2011 Report Share Posted June 20, 2011 My kids came up late last night for a few minutes, I'd made a strawberry pie... Even though the visit was short, it was good to see them, they had been in town to see their dad for Father's Day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perkins808 Posted June 21, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 After an emotional week last week and an even more emotional weekend....I decided to play hookie from work today. My oldest daughter is done with classes for the semester and my youngest got out of school at 11:00 because of exams, so we hopped in the Jeep and drove around for a while. The sun was shining, we had the music blaring and we just enjoyed driving around aimlessly......somehow all my stresses just blew away! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 Good for you Tammy. My brother is flying in this week for my retirement dinner. My niece is coming down from Boston for the same event. Then we are going back to the Relay for Life in Somerset with as many faculty as we can get to make the trip. And a hummer landed on the shepherd hook on the deck while i was sitting there with my cup of ice cream. He barely noticed i was there despite the fact he looked right at me. They are getting a bit less shy about being around me. The cookout with my in-laws went fine. they were good company. We watched part of the US Open together. Really dull when someone has a six stroke lead to start and then moves it out to eight with barely a stumble. I went to a dance recital based on the Lion King that featured some of my students last night. Some of them actually dance quite well. What i was afraid was going to be an obligation event turned out to be very pleasant. I am starting to pull out of my funk as well. I feel a bit better today than yesterday--and yesterday was better than Saturday. I just have to remember to deal with one hour at a time again for a while. Peace, Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwaynecg Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 Kayc, Tammy, Harry, It sounds like you all are having a good time. Even if it just a pie. Good for you all. I envy having good times. For me they are far and few between. I set her with this bag strapped to my leg reading the positives in all your life. I am happy for you and some day it will come for me. Harry when is your relay for life in Somerset going to take place? If I get this problem or at lest the Foley out I will join you for the event. I need more human contact than I now have I pray that the Lord will bring us all many happier times and less sadness Dwayne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 I came home from work yesterday to find that my son, instead of going home, had mowed my back lawn (I couldn't get the mower started and it was up to 5' high in places...I'd weedwhacked what I could but it didn't make a dent). Nothing could have elated me more! I looked on line and in the paper Saturday through today and didn't find any jobs to apply for, but I did do two Sunday night and hopefully more will present sometime this week. Tammy, good for you! I have had hummingbirds and deer here lately, even some elk one day. Dwayne, I am sorry you are stuck, you go into the doctor tomorrow, don't you? I wish I lived nearby so I could bring you the last piece of Strawberry Pie! (I make a mean pie) I hope you get back to yourself soon so you can be off the couch, I can't imagine how frustrating that must be! My son went somewhere but may be back tonight so I made a potato salad just in case and thought I'd barbeque some hot dogs...not fancy but tastes good! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted June 22, 2011 Report Share Posted June 22, 2011 Friends, Need to rest up for Friday, so i will keep this brief-besides i had my quota of words for the week with my long Saturday post. If i disappear for a few days blame it on cleaning out my room at work and getting ready for relay. i will try to at least read entries the next few days. The buttons arrived today for the walk. They are beautiful--the best rendition of the logo yet. That was a big up on a day that was frustrating up to that point. Made all the frustrations dissolve. Hope you all have lots of positive energy the next few days. Peace, Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted June 22, 2011 Report Share Posted June 22, 2011 Dwayne, how kind of you to wish everyone who posted good times, to share their happiness. Good times will come...a moment or an hour where you will smile. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nats Posted June 22, 2011 Report Share Posted June 22, 2011 I give thanks and I am grateful for being able to see what a wonderful life I've been blessed with... I spent my 2 dyas off working around the house and relaxing, I'm getting excited, I'll work till Sunday then taking a 9 day vacation, I'll spend a few days at home working/packing then I'm taking a few days with Brenda and flying to Ohio to visit my Mother and son.... I feel I'm truly blessed... NATS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrissie Posted June 22, 2011 Report Share Posted June 22, 2011 Yesterday was a good day! I went to my Weight Watchers meeting and I've lost 101.6 pounds! I'm thankful for all the support I get from the meetings and also thankful for all the support I get from all of you. God Bless you all. Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted June 22, 2011 Report Share Posted June 22, 2011 Good heavens, Chris ~ that is a major achievement! Congratulations! You deserve a standing ovation from all of us, along with a Hip, Hip Hooray:excl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 22, 2011 Report Share Posted June 22, 2011 Chris, My goodness, that is a huge achievement, congratulations! But I wish you'd quit losing them because I keep finding them! That is amazing, how long have you been doing this? My son has been here this week and it's nice having him popping in and out, plus getting to see his dog. I've only found three jobs to apply for this week, it's bleak and the unemployment office didn't deposit my money like they were supposed to, even though they show they processed it, still waiting for them to figure out why and fix it. Other than that it's been an okay day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwaynecg Posted June 22, 2011 Report Share Posted June 22, 2011 Chris, Way to go, that is a big accomplishment. We are all proud for you, that is not an easy thing to do. My problem continues. It will be Friday morning before I get this Foley out. And if by three I still cannot empty my bladder I will have to have it put back in. The good thing is my PSA is normal which means NO cancer of the Prostrate. This was the first time I seen my primary Doctor. He told me he never expected Pauline to go down as fast as she did. He knows how devastated I was. He expects my health problem is all related to her passing, and the fact I have no support around me. I told him about HOV and he said that is good, but it is not the same as having people around you for support. I told him I am going to take the nursing classes. He thought it was a great idea. I showed him the cover and the disc I made for Pauline's life. He wants to watch it with the other nurses who had cared for Pauline. I hope no one is a fended by me posting this on this thread. I just wanted all of you to know as I struggle, I still have my goals set. God Bless all of us on HOV, the lord will provides for all of us. Dwayne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrissie Posted June 22, 2011 Report Share Posted June 22, 2011 Thanks everyone. I still have 25 to go but that's a piece of cake I've been on Weight Watchers a little over a year. It all started when I was having lunch with our granddaughters and I happen to mention something that Tim wanted to do and never got to, and my granddaughter said to me "Well grandma, you'll just have to do it for grandpa." The more I thought about that, the more I realized I needed to get healthy so I could watch our wonderful grandkids grow and complete our bucket list for both of us. Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nats Posted June 28, 2011 Report Share Posted June 28, 2011 Ok friends to many days have passed and no posts even myself....I grateful and thankful I am blessed with two wonderful sons, my youngest I'm having lunch with tomorrow and my oldest I will see Thursday when he picks me up at the airport.... I'm thankful for my vacation and going to see my Mother this week... NATS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted July 7, 2011 Report Share Posted July 7, 2011 Folks, It's been more than a week since I was here with enough energy to write even a little. I figure I owe about a week's worth of positive energy here. But folks, we really need o do this more than I see here. This kind of positive energy takes at east a little input to keep moving. And with all the bad stuff going on i have been reading here on other posts, we need to regenerate the positive energy. So here goes: My brother and niece were able to come in for my retirement dinner and the Relay for Life. We had a good visit and got caught up on the family business and what we are doing to keep it moving from our various locations and jobs of the moment. I spoke at the Relay in the Luminaria ceremony. Afterwards people told me people who were walking stopped to listen to what I said. And a woman came up to me as I came off the stage to tell me she had lost her sister to NECS in December. This brings to eight the number of cases in the local area I have learned of since last September. So much for this being a rare disease. Then I read in a post to an article about the Relay about another person with this cancer locally. All of this just underlines the need for the foundation I am working on and all the things that go with it. We raised almost $4300 through the two relays and they let us combine the money in terms of team earnings, so we ended up with a silver ranking--not bad for our first go round and doing all of it in about a month. We also got the team spirit award for the event. More importantly from the point of view of this site, i got to spend a lot of people that i really care about--including a former student I have not seen for 15 years who lost her husband to a heart attack just after they had their first child. It was a very precious night for both of us to have someone to talk to who got it. That was also the night of my retirement dinner. Our team was tiny and we really wanted to keep someone on the track at all times for the whole relay. Another team loaned us 12 kids to cover for us while we were at dinner. Then, at the dinner, I asked people to come and walk a lap with Jane. Nearly everyone did, arriving just in time for the Luminaria. Last week I commuted up to Boston every day to help teach a class for young journalism advisers. They learned a lot, I think. But I had lunch with one of them one day whose mother is a terminal cancer patient. She expected to be called away at any moment, but wanted to be there. We got through the whole week--and she left to go be with her mother at Hospice Friday afternoon. Friday, after I took my niece to the airport to go visit her mother and father in Seattle for a week, I got a call from two friends about going to dinner. i told them I expected to be stuck in traffic and that they should go without me. But the traffic I expected never materialized and we got to have dinner together afterall. Last night, I sucked up my courage and went to look at the fan page my students have constructed for me over the years on Facebook. I had never been there before. It felt wrong to go look when they were my students--at least some of them--currently. And, as I told them, my ego is big enough. The whole thing made me cry. Then i started to put together a Facebook site for myself. To do the things I have to do next means I need to leverage every piece of technology I can master--and every skill I have developed in other areas over the years as well. I finished phase one last night at about 1 a.m. I got up this morning to put together a Facebook page devoted entirely to Walking with Jane. I finished the broad strokes of it tonight just before I logged in here. Both pieces of the project have gotten very positive reactions so far. And i have two people who want to help put together websites for both Walking with Jane and another project I am trying to launch. One part of that will be a support group modeled on this forum for people with carcinoid syndrome and their caregivers. So despite some really awful down moments--we all get them--this has been a very positive week in my version of Lake Woebegone. Even when we don't realize it, we are moving forward. Today is marginally better than yesterday--and when we crash, we do not crash quite as hard as the last time--or at least I want to think so. As my wife would say, even in a barn full of manure i have a positive outlook. I know there has to be a pony in there somewhere. So let's all get back on the horse. What thing that says progress has happened to you this week? As my friend Callahan likes to say, "shared sadness is decreased; shared joy is multiplied." We seem to do really well with the first half of that. We need to work on the second half. Peace, Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perkins808 Posted July 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 7, 2011 Thanks for the gentle nudge Harry.....I haven't posted anything "positive" in a while so I am definitely due. I do have so many things to still be grateful for, I just lose sight of that every once in a while. This past weekend I took my kids and their friends up to NH for what turned out to be a wonderfully relaxing, crazy and interesting weekend. I don't know how else to describe a weekend with 4 teenagers?! They are very sensitive to the fact that I still have my "moments", they'll give me a hug and then give me my space. I seriously considered not going away for the weekend just because I wasn't sure if I could handle being away from my comfort zone right now, but I am so glad I did go. We had perfect weather on Saturday and I can't remember the last time I had such a good weekend. I actually caught myself thinking - Life Is Good! Hugs, Tammy How could I not have fun with this crazy bunch? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted July 7, 2011 Report Share Posted July 7, 2011 Dear Tammy, Four teenagers, one adult, on the road. New Hampshire. And you survived to tell of it. In fact, you enjoyed it? Can't get much more positive than that. Peace, Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nats Posted July 7, 2011 Report Share Posted July 7, 2011 I'm so thankful I had a nice vacation and a safe trip...I flew for the first time in over 12 years, I was somewhat nervous but did well, the return flight was emotional as I felt Ruth with me during the first moments of the flight but it was nice...the family reunion was really nice and Brenda was given a warm welcome....I am so thankful and grateful for the time I spent with my Mother, it was so special, I will remember forever....I have so much to be thankful for, God has truely blessed me..... NATS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwaynecg Posted July 7, 2011 Report Share Posted July 7, 2011 I am thankful that I changed the policy at the ER I went to. Tuesday the Director of the ER had discussed my case with the Doctor that had seen me. He told me it made perfect sense. The new policy is when a man comes in and needs a Foley to drain the bladder, then has to go home with the Foley, they will be given a script for Flow Max and sent to the Urologist. Instead of what they did to me. It me feel really good that I made a difference for other people. God Bless Dwayne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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