Been Gone For A Bit....

[Perkins808]

Hi Everyone,

So I've been gone for a bit....a little overwhelmed with life. Shortly after the one year anniversary of my husband's death, my Mom ended up in the hospital in intensive care. She came home for a week and then returned, and while she was in the second time suffered a massive heart attack. She is still in icu, they are now struggling to regulate her blood pressure. I've never seen a b/p reading of 47/12 until yesterday...but have learned that as quickly as hers can drop, it can also rise to dangerous highs. Not sure when they are going to get this regulated, or if....but I say prayers daily that they'll be able to figure something out. Meanwhile I also struggle to take care of my father who is an insulin dependent diabetic who has completely given up on taking care of himself since Mom was hospitalized.

I read too late that Wayne was in the hospital again....how ironic that I could have popped in since Mom is in the same hospital. I hope everything is better with you Wayne.

I also apologize to you Harry, your email sat unread for a while. I hope you are keeping yourself going strong.

Mary, thank you for your kind words….I was touched that you were thinking of me.

I have to say that after not being on this site for a few weeks, it is so sad to see so many new names that I don’t even recognize. Life and death continues….the group that nobody wants to be a part of grows every day. Somehow we make it through…one foot in front of the other. On some days the strides are bigger, on others we go backwards….but somehow we keep going.

Hugs to all,

Tammy

[Earl C]

Hi Tammy: I'm one of those new names, and no, I didn't want to be here. I'd much rather go back to having my best friend by my side and never having to hear of this site. But.........as you say, life and death continue. Death just happens to be a bad part of life. Right now, after just a little over two months into this, I'm able to understand only that I need to continue to breathe in and then breathe out, or as you say, put one foot in front of the other. I'm one of those extremely fortunate people who have a marvelous support system, large family extended to include my Wife Wanda's family; friends and neighbors; a very active and responsive Church family, etc. But, none of them other than a former neighbor who lost her Husband about 10 years ago to a heart attack can understand how painful this is. I'm fortunate that I don't have anyone who has said 'you'll get over it' because I don't think my reply would be what I really want to say. Tammy, I'm so sorry that so soon after you lost your (I'm sure) wonderful Husband, you know have to face this huge problem with your Mom, and then on top of that, your Dad having so much too. Sometimes it feels like life is ganging up on us, and it sure seems like you are in that position right now. Keep fighting, keep on with one foot going in front of the other, and one day you'll find yourself in eternity with the love of your life. I don't know about you, but I'm looking forward to it. God Bless You!! Earl C

[mkenwater]

Just remember what my soulmate-wife-best friend always reminded me of during her final year with me on earth, "no matter how much life gangs up on you, the hardships you are faced with, the stresses, and everything else, the Lord will only let you endeavor as much as you can handle, he will provide". I remind myself of this fact everyday. All of us will survive and overcome. The power of positive thinking and belief. Take care.

[Dwaynecg]

Hi Tammy,

So sorry to hear about your mother, and all the sadness you had to endure. I pray your mother gets better health soon.

I am doing real good now. I was admitted into Charlton on 4 the. Really sick and like your mother really low blood pressure. It turned out to be C-DIF in my bowels. The first 2 days were horrible. They did not want me to get out of bed on my own to go to the bathroom. A lot of times I could not wait for the nurse so I would go anyway. The night nurse Brenda told me she could not believe how normal is was in my mind with that low of blood pressure. They had never seen that before. After 5 days I went home and it has taken over a week for me to start coming back to life.

My dear friend Harry was a god send to me. People who had a key to my place and told me the first night if I needed anything just to call. I did and they did not have the time of day for me. My cell phone was dead, so I took the battery out and laid it under me for and hour or more. I put it back in the phone and had, one bar. So I call Harry and he came right away, took my house key, got my phone charger, computer and a few other things for me. It made me feel great I have a friend, like Harry. Even after I got home last Monday the 8 the. I spike a fever and called the DR. I had no Tylenol in the house. I called Harry and in about 35 minutes he was here and would not leave until he saw the fever going down. He is truly a great friend.

Tammy anytime you need to talk I believe I gave you my numbers, you can call any time. Oh by the way it is Dwayne not Wayne. I forgive you though, no big deal.

God Bless you Tammy, I pray for healing in your heart and soul, and your mothers health gets better soon.

Dwayne

[Queeniemary]

Tammy,

It is so good to hear from you. Don't know why it is, (or maybe I do), I feel closer to some people on this group that no one wated to be a part of, than I do with friends here at home. I agree about the new names. Back in May/June I was pretty much off site for a few weeks, due to a play I was directing, company, and a trip. I too was saddened to see so many new people when I came back. Death does not take a time out, or a vacation does it?

So sorry about your Mom, and my prayers are going out to her, and to you as you deal with this, and your Dad as well. Praying they will be able to get this blood pressure thing regulated.

You are right, one foot at a time, eventually we move forward, sometimes we go backwards a little, but ultimately forward. I think I am going a little backwards this week. Mike's birthday is Friday, and am having a little trouble dealing with that, he would have been 64. Some sweet friends, who were close to Mike, sent me a lovely bouquet of fresh flowers yesterday, saying just "Thinking of you". Made my day.

Just remember, while you are going through this stressful time, even if you are not able to check in a lot, or post, we are thinking of you, and praying for you. Many of your positive posts have given me inspiration, and even your occasional "rant" can inspire also. (LOL) Thank goodness we have a place we can do either, and no one judges us!

Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas

[mfh]

Tammy

I am so sorry that you and your mom are going through this. I know you are tired and dealing with the threat of losing your mom, hospital sitting and more adds to the exhaustion. You are in my thoughts. Mary

[MartyT]

Tammy, dear ~ we're all holding you and your mother close in our thoughts and prayers . . .

[kayc]

Tammy,

It's good to have you back...I'm sorry to hear of all you're going through with your folks.

Dwayne is home from the hospital and doing better...on the mend, his spirits never seemed to waiver no matter what his body did.

I hope things start looking up for you soon!

Kay

[HAP]

Dear Tammy,

No apologies are ever necessary--especially with what you are dealing with. I am five minutes from Charlton, so if you need anything, holler. I'll probably hear you.

The phone is more reliable, though.

I am doing ok. The D-F grief project is doing some good things for me, And Walking with and is sometimes keeping me too busy. So tonight I am taking a break. My brain and body let me know when I need to shut things down.

Large numbers of hugs.

Peace,

Harry

[azbrian]

Tammy,

Sending hopeful thoughts for your Mother.

Take care