mfh Posted May 17, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2014 Excellent quote from Susan. I really like her. She had a rough beginning and has used her life so well. I spent 3 days with her a couple of years ago (i.e. she was one of two retreat leaders). I think she is returning soon. Madison has a lot going on in meditation. On June 28 there is an all day retreat in the woods I plan to attend but not sure who leads it. I urge folks to consider a retreat once in a while. They are very quieting to the soul. Thanks for this, Anne, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted May 18, 2014 Report Share Posted May 18, 2014 Retreats are good. When travel and youth and good health were on my side I enjoyed the quiet of a retreat. Now my retreats are what I can take advantage of from Internet teachings. Perhaps someday ~ until then, I have to allow my mind to take me to those quiet places. Patience, patience, patience, is what the sea teaches. Patience and faith. One should lie empty, open, choiceless as a beach – waiting for a gift from the sea. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted May 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 18, 2014 I retreat at home a lot, Anne. We do not have to leave our homes to retreat. I love Gift from the Sea...Bill and I visited Sanibel Island one year....picked up way too many shells. Yes, patience, patience, and waiting.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted May 20, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 20, 2014 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUEvQ6xG8Yg Photos taken by my friend's brother, Robert Madden, a retired Nat. Geographic photographer. Just lovely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted May 27, 2014 Report Share Posted May 27, 2014 Beautiful photos, Mary. A favorite of mine: Tara Brach on RAIN ~ I have heard it before but worth another listen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted May 27, 2014 Report Share Posted May 27, 2014 Another meditation today ~ from Brother David: A deep trust in LIFE. How grateful to be alive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted May 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 27, 2014 I like both of these, Anne. Have seen them before also but like them. I know the second anniversary is now behind you and I also know the feelings do not just disappear. So know you are thought of. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted May 28, 2014 Report Share Posted May 28, 2014 Dear Anne, Thank you for both of those ^ videos above. They served as a wonderful retreat for me. And Anne Morrow Lindbergh has been one of my favorite mystics and poets since I was a young mother in my 20s. I feel as though I have breathed in a few lungs full of pure oxygen. I am revitalized. Today, Anne, I am holding you close in my heart as you attend to your health. Blessings and *<twinkles>* and Much Love, fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted May 29, 2014 Report Share Posted May 29, 2014 Thank you, Fae. Today was a busy day with over two hours of ultrasounds on kidneys and legs ~ all part of the heart failure routine, I guess! I'll not know results until I get a call in a few days. I have to go back to my heart doctor next week. He wants me to see a kidney specialist before I have the dental surgery and he also wants the B/P and heart rate to go down. Thinking about the death of Maya Angelou today I have a few quotes that I could meditate on: "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." "You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them." "My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style." We have so many people in our lives that inspire us. I hope I can be one of them as I fumble through my own life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted May 29, 2014 Report Share Posted May 29, 2014 Dearest Anne, I am glad you made it through the day yesterday. Now, we wait the test results. I will be calling today to see if the rest of my own test results are back yet. Anne, you inspire, warm, teach, and bring joy and beauty. If you are fumbling, you are one of the most graceful and loving fumblers I have ever known. Thank you for the beautiful quotes. namaste, fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted May 29, 2014 Report Share Posted May 29, 2014 You are welcome, Fae. Let us know when you get your tests back.~♥~ “ In meditation we discover our inherent restlessness. Sometimes we get up and leave. Sometimes we sit there but our bodies wiggle and squirm and our minds go far away. This can be so uncomfortable that we feel it’s impossible to stay. Yet this feeling can teach us not just about ourselves but what it is to be human…we really don’t want to stay with the nakedness of our present experience. It goes against the grain to stay present. These are the times when only gentleness and a sense of humor can give us the strength to settle down…so whenever we wander off, we gently encourage ourselves to “stay” and settle down. Are we experiencing restlessness? Stay! Are fear and loathing out of control? Stay! Aching knees and throbbing back? Stay! What’s for lunch? Stay! I can’t stand this another minute! Stay!” ~ Pema Chodron ~ The Places That Scare you: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted May 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 Tara Brach dedicates this week's meditation to Maya Angelou This is a guided meditaton. "I long to be at home wherever I find myself." She refers to smiling. I believe that when we "make" ourselves smile the rest of our being follows. We can't or choose not to do this sometimes but when we can, it is worth the response we get from our bodymindsouls. Our journeys are about choices. I choose to walk into my pain and I choose to walk out of it...into my joy or peace. I do not choose to live in my pain constantly though early on it was all I could see. I listened to Darcie Sims (a pioneer in the grief community who died recently but whose tapes are on line and worthy of your time http://webtalkradio.net/internet-talk-radio/2014/01/06/good-mourning-the-many-faces-of-grief-surviving-the-post-holiday-letdown-depression-and-grief/) She was interviewing Dr. Bob Baugher, a psychology professor at Highline Community College in Des Moines, WA. He talked about putting your hand right up in front of your face...very close...almost touching your nose. When we look with our hand in this position bascially all we can see if our hand (our grief in the early days). Gradually move your hand out slowly and further and further and we begin to see our grief in the context of the world and life as it is around us. Last night I was jolted awake at 3am from a dream. I was at a conference (I happen to be attending a 4 day conference starting Sunday focused on sudden and traumatic death) and feeling lost and lonely for Bill. A friend came by and I told her I was going to call Bill. Just at that moment my cell phone rang and I heard Bill's sweet loving voice say, "Hi, Sweetheart, I miss you." which is what he said when he called me. I blurted out "Hi honey, I was just going to call you." There was no response and I awakened in a flood of tears realizing that what was so very real in my dream was not real at all and Bill was dead. So what do I do with that? It is 3am. Well, first I go over the dream again so I can remember it and record it in a bit. I allow my pain and tears which were indeed gut wrenching and after 40 minutes I got up, made tea and typed my dream and journaled a bit. Then I had to make a choice. I chose now (after walking into my pain) to focus on the wonderful feeling I had in this dream of hearing his voice again. I did not want to miss that fresh and real feeling. It was very very real... the voice I heard before we met and which I loved so much. I bathed myself in his voice...yes through tears but also tears of joy. As I sat in the dark sipping my tea, I focused on his face and voice and warmth and love and how lucky I was to have what most never know. I have learned these years that by living in the moment with awareness, I can make choices of how to deal with the waves of grief, the occasional tsunamis, and those times when it hurts a lot for a week or two for reasons I sometimes can not define. I can also walk into the good moments and there are many. I aim for balance...pain and joy. I do not want to ignore my grief/pain. I also do not choose to ignore the joys I shared with Bill and those that occur in these days. So at 4:45 I finally chose to go back to sleep...and I did sleep, I believe, because of how I dealt with this dream which roamed in and out of my heart and mind all day. I post this with meditation information because I see it as the key-it helps me be in charge of my mind as much as a being can be in charge of our monkey minds. It helps me stay in the present moment. It helps me breathe and reduce stress and tension. I grieve daily. I always will miss Bill and grieve my loss. But by taking charge of our minds and feelings, my journey, though still a roller coaster ride...is gradually becoming one I can deal with. Grief is my companion (as I read somewhere today) not my enemy. I urge you who are grieving to give meditation a try. Doing grief work is what allows us to integrate this great loss into our lives. It is not time...it is what we do with it and I urge you to sit in meditation a couple of times each day, live in the moment all the time as a tool to assist you with your great loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 Thank you, Mary, for your reflection on how you handle balance in your life now. I do believe that this grief journey is something we have to work on and accept that we need to walk into the pain to heal. The joy of having a real conversation with our loved one only to awaken and find that it was only a dream can be so disappointing and to see joy in it requires work. I have the ability to make choices and allowing myself to grieve Jim’s death also allows me to remember the joys we shared. It is good to see our dreams as both negative as well as positive. I don’t know if this makes sense to anyone else but it does to me. I don’t only want to remember that Jim lived, but I also want to remember that he still lives in me and that makes me happy even though my heart is breaking because he is not here with me physically. Thank you for the reminder of Darcie Sims'interview. I read it once and will go back to it. Peace to your heart tonight. Anne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 Dear Mary Thank you for those wise words. It's morning here and I work yet again to the realisation of my Pete's death and tonight that it's over 700 mornings that I've had to do that. Sometimes it's worse than other times but each waking seems to be another jolt - Pete is dead. It has to be processed. And I deal with it somehow. As you do. Your approach is helpful. I love to read what you write. Oh well onward and upward. We had some great news which I will post on another forum. Jan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted May 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 Jan, one thing that helps me in the mornings when I awaken is acknowledging that I am alone and any pain if that comes up which it usually does but because it is a daily thing when I awaken to be missing Bill. I choose not to go there much more than acknowledging it as I do not want to make waking up and crying the way I start my day now. I could not really be in charge of that the first year but now I can and I do. I also remind myself that Bill is with me 24/7. I then move to metta....i.e. loving kindness mindfulness. There are as many versions as there are people but I say to myself: May I be safe May I be healthy May I be kind and caring (or whatever) May I be peaceful May I live with ease. Then I choose someone who I know is hurting especially a lot right now. The choices are endless so I might name 3-4 people. Right now some members here and my niece and a friend here. Those change. And I repeat the above statements...i.e. May (names) be safe...etc. as above. Then I choose someone I struggle with...i.e. not nuts about and do that again Then I choose all the people in my life especially those on my prayer list and do it again Then I choose all the folks in my community...do it again Then all living beings everywhere..do it again. I frequently get up while I am doing this and let Bentley out, make coffee, get him in and feed him...all while I do that. It helps with mind control and with moving into the day thinking of someone besides myself. I must admit this is not a new habit since Bill died. We went to sleep acknowledging gratitude and woke up like this...most days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted May 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 Thank you, Mary, for your reflection on how you handle balance in your life now. I do believe that this grief journey is something we have to work on and accept that we need to walk into the pain to heal. The joy of having a real conversation with our loved one only to awaken and find that it was only a dream can be so disappointing and to see joy in it requires work. I have the ability to make choices and allowing myself to grieve Jim’s death also allows me to remember the joys we shared. It is good to see our dreams as both negative as well as positive. I don’t know if this makes sense to anyone else but it does to me. I don’t only want to remember that Jim lived, but I also want to remember that he still lives in me and that makes me happy even though my heart is breaking because he is not here with me physically. Thank you for the reminder of Darcie Sims'interview. I read it once and will go back to it. Peace to your heart tonight. Anne Yes, Ann, it does and did require work but I longed to hold his voice in my mind and heart. It was so real and I, of course, never get to hear it now but in this dream, I heard it!!! I still can. It was so wonderful and still is. If I had focused only on the pain, I would have missed that joy. I think most things are light and dark, joy and pain. I think the trick is allowing both to co-exist which I am doing more and more of. Then comes a series of days where it all goes out the window but I get back on the horse and start again. Like we all do. See I think Bill IS here with me physically...physically meaning energetically/consciously. I just can't see that kind of energy or the speed of it. But you and I and so many others know they are here with us...as you say...he lives in you. When you go to the Darcie Sims site there are many interviews as the address is for her radio show. Enjoy!! I think of her reunited with her big A now and can see a gigantic smile on her face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 This survival energetically/ consciously that you mention, Mary, is what the Dr Parisetti course I mentioned in another thread is all about. I'm finding it fascinating. Because I feel in my gut, my bones, my heart that Pete is near me. Lately I've dreamt about him just a bit. He has managed to get through the stroke and get better (which is typical of the kind of person he is). Obviously I'm living in the harsh world where this didn't happen. But still I believe he isnt far away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted May 31, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 31, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted May 31, 2014 Report Share Posted May 31, 2014 Thank you, Mary. Beautiful. . . A meditation on coming back to the ordinary ~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted June 2, 2014 Report Share Posted June 2, 2014 How medication can change the brain. . . http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-12793/how-meditation-changes-your-brain-a-neuroscientist-explains.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted June 2, 2014 Report Share Posted June 2, 2014 So many have unbearable situations and the question, "How do I stay present in the moment when it feels unbearable?" is addressed by Thich Nhat Hahn in this way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted June 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 4, 2014 http://willowgreeninspiration.com/2014/06/04/whisper-2/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted June 4, 2014 Report Share Posted June 4, 2014 Thank you Mary, for the above. I cannot think of a more beautiful way to begin this peaceful and restful day. namaste, fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted June 9, 2014 Report Share Posted June 9, 2014 “I invite you now to an interior journey ~ a healing meditation. Breathe gently, naturally, with gratitude. Breathe…relax your body…rest…and as you do this, become aware that inside you there is a healing spirit, the resilient radiance of your birthright. Breathe yourself into the image of a safe and restful place. Take yourself to your own power spot, your place of healing in your own imagination. Go there now and open yourself to the inner self-healer. This inner healer is awake now, and ready to assist you with love. Notice where you are. Find the beauty and the protection around you, and rest in this place in the presence of the healer who is with you. Find an image or color or a sensation by which you can return to this place whenever you wish.” ~ Alla Reéne Bozarth, Ph.D. A Journey Through Grief Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted June 13, 2014 Report Share Posted June 13, 2014 A Source of All Love http://wp.henrinouwen.org/daily_meditation_blog/?p=3024 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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