enna Posted January 21, 2014 Report Share Posted January 21, 2014 I am humbled by the outpouring of love and kind words by all of you. Thank you. I have always believed that life happens for a reason. I so love Benji, but I was beginning to worry about not being able to give him the attention and care that he so deserved. My health was a factor in this worry. Benji needed to run and play. He needed to go for long walks. I often could not do that for him. Yes, I loved and cared for him as best as I could. He had a loving home, food, treats, toys, and all the walks we could do. I did mention before that he was a little escape artist – when we went to the circle he found a way to release himself from his leash several times and this was such a scare to me. I did not have a long enough time with the easy leader (a variation of the gentle leader suggested by his vet) to know if that would have solved the problem. It is a very quiet house right now. As Karen mentioned about her dog so did Benji follow me from room to room. When I’d pick up the few towels I had on the floor for him to lie on, to put in the dryer, he would sit on them and I would pull him around on the tile floors. It was his game with me, I think. When I told him it was time for bed he’d be in on my bed before I got the lights turned off. This was the only time he was at the top of my bed for he always slept at the foot until he went down to his own bed. Whenever it was treat time he would start jumping up until he got to the den where he knew he’d get his treats. He loved his bones and would bury them out in the rocks just deep enough to get his face dirty with mud. He never minded me wiping his face with a warm paper towel. When I’d sit in the chair by the fireplace he’d always be up on the footrest taking in the view. If I were reading too long (for him) he’d end up on my lap as if to say, “I want attention.” Of course he always received it. I have bookmarks in books that I have not finished reading. I guess I’ll have more time to read now, to do my color art therapy, to go back to our health club and continue my stretches. I do not know why Benji came into my life when he did but I choose to believe that it was meant to be. He needed me and I sure needed him. It will take a little bit of an adjustment but as all of you have so bravely done in the past I too shall find a way to accept this loss. I am experiencing a very strange sort of loneliness. I suppose soon I will have to tell family and friends but I need time. Right now it is just my time with memories. Later, I may even write a short story of Benji’s life with me and add it to the Pet Loss Thread. Amazing what our animals do for our psyche. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5Obrj3IjBY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted January 21, 2014 Report Share Posted January 21, 2014 Dearest Anne, I have no words that will make this feel any better. I have no answer to the question, "why?" You are in my heart and in my mind--and my soul hugs yours across these many miles. Peace, Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted January 21, 2014 Report Share Posted January 21, 2014 Thank you, Harry. I guess I posted before I saw your message. I hope your cold is better. I am sorry that it is so cold there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queeniemary Posted January 21, 2014 Report Share Posted January 21, 2014 Oh, Anne, I just now came to the site, and when I read your post, I literally gasp. I am so very very sorry, and my heart hurts for you. I know how much that little sweet Benji meant to you. BUT think about how great his last year was, with you as his Mom, he needed you, and you gave him your all. {{Hugs, many of them}} Mar (Queeniemary) in Arkansas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted January 21, 2014 Report Share Posted January 21, 2014 I think that is your answer Anne. Benji needed you. You needed Benji. You gave him a wonderful year. I know how much you loved each other. It came over. I hate to think how hard it is now though. X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted January 21, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 21, 2014 Dear Anne, Yes, Benji came into your life because he needed you and he had an incredible year with you. You needed him also. Why he was taken from you, we will never understand in this world. I am just so sorry he was. I do think writing his story would be a wonderful idea. Perhaps tying it in with your coloring. Whatever you do will be just what you need to do. Starting to write memories as you have in this post is, I believe, very healing. I did it and do it with the loss of Bill and I think I will start one on Bentley also. Many of Benji's behaviors are like Bentley's. Know that I am here as are all of us. I think the entire tribe is in deep pain today. I KNOW they/we are. Love Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted January 22, 2014 Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 Thinking of all of our Tribe's fur family today, as we gather here around Marty's Fire, and how blessed I have been to know a little about some of them. Thank you all for sharing your fur babies here with us. {{{hugs}}} to Anne and Kay and Marty, and Mary, and everyone of us who has lost a fur baby in our lives. *<twinkles>* fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 22, 2014 Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 My dear Anne, I would love to read Benji's story when you write it. When you are up to it. I don't think the memories will ever fade, they haven't with my pets, no matter how many years have passed. And yes, I do think Benji was in your life, and you in his, for a reason. (((hugs))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted February 2, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 2, 2014 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/31/corgi-trick-slow-motion_n_4702463.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009 Al the Corgi Catching a Treat in slow motion Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted February 2, 2014 Report Share Posted February 2, 2014 Al the Corgi is amazing. Thank you Mary. fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted February 2, 2014 Report Share Posted February 2, 2014 I love those eyes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted February 2, 2014 Report Share Posted February 2, 2014 My Kelbi has a lump on her tummy. I know lumps are common, especially in middle aged dogs, but I can't help worrying. I hope sandra will go with us to the vets tomorrow. She isn't bothered by it in the slightest. Jan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted February 2, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 2, 2014 Jan, I know you are worried. Lumps are scary. We also know dogs get them, most of the time cysts. Yet, when Bentley gets one now and then, I still worry. Let's hope it is a cyst. Do let us know. We all care. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted February 2, 2014 Report Share Posted February 2, 2014 Arlie's had one for years, most of the time they're just cysts (fatty tumors) and don't grow. Still, it's good to get it checked out. Try not to worry, we'll be waiting to hear what your vet says. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted February 3, 2014 Report Share Posted February 3, 2014 Good news! It's a fatty cyst (lipoma). Vet says she is rather fat though (I knew this) and needs a little less food. Apart from dried food she only eats some frozen porridge stuffed into in edible chews, and carrots. So I have to give her less dried food. We walk about four miles daily so it can't be lack of exercise. However I think she needs to run. She is a working dog breed. Anyway it's great news. I am so relieved as you can imagine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted February 3, 2014 Report Share Posted February 3, 2014 I'm so glad to hear it, Jan! You must feel so relieved! Arlie has a cyst on his paw, has always had it, but it hasn't gotten any bigger so I just keep an eye on it. He has a lipoma somewhere on his body, but it's hard to locate as it's under a ton of fur, but I pet him and check him over regularly and it's not growing so I keep an eye on that one as well. Golden Retrievers are known for them. If we had a fenced yard, Arlie probably wouldn't be overweight either, but I probably give him too many of my "last bites". He loves to eat! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted February 3, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 3, 2014 Jan, I am so relieve on your and Kelbi's behalf (as well as my own). I know there was a huge smile on your face when you learned that. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queeniemary Posted February 3, 2014 Report Share Posted February 3, 2014 Mary, Al the Corgi is so funny. I love the slow motion. My Corgi girls just snap up thrown treats so fast you barely see them move. Jan, glad the lump is nothing to worry about. My girls are on "diet" kibble, Corgis tend to get overweight when they are not very active, and my girls are not too active. They are both now a little under the recommended top weight, at least they were last April at their check up, anxious to see how they are doing this year. Mary (Queniemary) in Arkansas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted February 3, 2014 Report Share Posted February 3, 2014 And my dear friend (and Kelbi's) Sandra came with us. She is marvellous with K at the vet. Kelbi has to wear a muzzle because she grwols and rolls her eyes if she is frightened and might even bite. But no growling or rolling eyes because Sandra was fussing her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted February 3, 2014 Report Share Posted February 3, 2014 Jan, I am so glad to hear that Kelbi is all right and just a tiny bit overweight. One less worry for us all, thank goodness! *<twinkles>* fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted February 3, 2014 Report Share Posted February 3, 2014 Yes, Fae ~ exactly! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 Jan, I'm so glad that the lump on Kelbi is nothing to worry about. You must be so relieved. I am having some trouble expressing myself with my Benji gone. I think I slipped into grief overload and have spent some time feeling sorry for myself. I am just so sad so I am allowing the feelings to just be for a while. I'll find my way back soon. I am starting to recognize my feelings where before I only wanted to pretend that what I knew was not really true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted February 5, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 Anne, you are very in tune with your feelings and needs and that is a good foundation for working through your grief. I know this loss of Benji has been very hard hitting. We are here for you if you ever want to talk, I think you have my phone number too. Love you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 Dearest Anne, I understand. When we have had such a loss as our Beloved leaving, all the subsequent losses take a lot of time to process, and get mixed up with the initial loss and grief. It is all more pain and grief, and I don't know how we could not get them mixed together, because the grief is there and shadows everything. After Doug left, when Estelle left, then Larry, then Walt, I could not sort it all out. It was simply a dark, shadowed spiral of grief that kept me enclosed in its circling energy of loss and pain. Take all the time you need. Your precious heart and spirit will continue to heal slowly but surely. We are, after all, healing beings, and whether we want to or not, we are invited back to more wellness and through healing whether we are aware of it or not. We have a very good Designer, after all. Dear Anne, please let me know if there is anything I can do for you. Here is a very long {{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}} just for you. namaste, fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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