Eight Years Ago

[kayc]

It's hard to believe it's been eight years since the love of my life, my soul mate and best friend, passed away. How could it have been eight years? It both seems a million years and it seems like yesterday, all at the same time. I feel like once I reached a certain point, it has remained the same. It is what is left after the dross is cleared away. This is what is left...this is my life, such as it is.

I miss George, everything about him, the back of his neck, the way a little tendril of hair would fall in a tiny curl on his forehead below his bald spot, the way he walked, the sound of his voice, everything about him that defined him as HIM! I miss his spirit, his zest for life, his beautiful heart...he had the most amazing heart, he cared about people and showed it constantly. The world needs more people like him! He was always helping someone, always giving to people. He'd been known to go without food so others could eat (and he loved food, ask anyone!).

If George was here today I would tell him thank you for taking such good care of me, for being such a wonderful husband and stepfather. I will love him for all eternity.

You know what is weird? I am as much or more in love with him right now as I ever was. His smell, his touch, his beautiful blue eyes, all he had to do was look at me and I was toast. And funny enough, that never went away. We just clicked, from the very beginning, we were meant to be together.

[mfh]

Kay, when I awoke today and looked at my phone calendar...there was your name. You have been on my mind. I do understand a little bit how 8 years seems like yesterday and you wonder where it went. I see that as I passed the 3 year mark...where did it go. Some days are eternity yet the years fly by.

I do believe George IS here today and I know you do also (and I know what you meant---if he were here physically) and I know he hears your gratitude...and I know you will love him for all eternity...as I will Bill. I had the following words inscribed on OUR gravestone (Together Forever) and that is how you and George are and will be.

Thinking of you today and this glorious man who loves/d you so deeply. How blessed you (I) have been to have such gentle caring men cherish us.

Peace to your heart today and always,

Mary

[mfh]

For Kay

For Kay.pdf

[enna]

Thinking of you today, Kay. Love never goes away. I along with you am and always will be grateful that we have been blessed with such wonderful men in our lives. Anne

[pumkin]

Dear Kay,

I woke up this morning thinking of you and that today would be eight years since you lost the love of your life, George. You provide such hope and strength for us on this forum. And Mary, what you wrote for her was so endearing and speaks to the heart. I'm just a high school grad and don't have all the education you wonderful people here on this forum have. I am so grateful for everyone single one of you. I have no family I can relate to, except for all of you. My prayers and thanks are with all of you. Monday was my 10th month without my Marco, and if it weren't for this precious forum, I couldn't get as far as I have.

[feralfae]

Dear Kay,

I have been thinking about you while I was out.

Peace to you today, as you celebrate the wonderful love you shared with George, and remember so many happy times that you still treasure in your heart.

I am so glad you are here with us -- both for comfort, and for all the love and comfort you bring to us as well.

Tonight, I will light a candle for you and George, dear Kay.

Blessings and much love this day to you. I am holding you in my heart.

*<twinkles>*

fae

[mfh]

Dear Kay,

I woke up this morning thinking of you and that today would be eight years since you lost the love of your life, George. You provide such hope and strength for us on this forum. And Mary, what you wrote for her was so endearing and speaks to the heart. I'm just a high school grad and don't have all the education you wonderful people here on this forum have. I am so grateful for everyone single one of you. I have no family I can relate to, except for all of you. My prayers and thanks are with all of you. Monday was my 10th month without my Marco, and if it weren't for this precious forum, I couldn't get as far as I have.

There is nothing wrong with a high school education... you are not "just" a high school grad...you are a caring woman who is grieving and who is compassionate and who is reaching out to others while in her own pain. College does not a person make.

[MartyT]

Thank you for saying that to Pumkin, Mary. You said exactly what I was thinking as I read her post. ♥

Kay,the part you play on this site is priceless. I'm sure you know that you and George are in our hearts today and always. ♥

And Mary, the piece you wrote for Kay is stunning. What a treasure you are. Thank you for putting it here so we all can read it, too. ♥

[mfh]

Thank you for saying that to Pumkin, Mary. You said exactly what I was thinking as I read her post. ♥

Kay,the part you play on this site is priceless. I'm sure you know that you and George are in our hearts today and always. ♥

And Mary, the piece you wrote for Kay is stunning. What a treasure you are. Thank you for putting it here so we all can read it, too. ♥

I debated about putting it where others could read it but I thought it would be a tribute to Kay as well as George. Thank you, Marty. And you, too, are a treasure.

Pumkin, now there are two of us telling you how wonderful you are and I suspect Marty and I speak for many more here.

[feralfae]

Pumkin,

A good heart is worth more than ten degrees.

You have a very good heart.

fae

[kayc]

I don't have a college degree either, Pumkin and my boss and coworkers do, and it doesn't help them figure out to put the paper in the paper recycling and the plastic in the plastic recycling.

I appreciate so much what each of you wrote, I know all of you "get it" and even after all this time, well...it's still there. I honestly don't see a lot of difference between three years and eight. Like I said, we're left with what we're left with.

I guess the one thing I've noticed after all this time is I've accepted that no one will ever be even close to being like George and I was really lucky to have had him in my life at all and for the rest of my life I will treasure the love we have shared.

[mfh]

I don't have a college degree either, Pumkin and my boss and coworkers do, and it doesn't help them figure out to put the paper in the paper recycling and the plastic in the plastic recycling.

I appreciate so much what each of you wrote, I know all of you "get it" and even after all this time, well...it's still there. I honestly don't see a lot of difference between three years and eight. Like I said, we're left with what we're left with.

I guess the one thing I've noticed after all this time is I've accepted that no one will ever be even close to being like George and I was really lucky to have had him in my life at all and for the rest of my life I will treasure the love we have shared.

Like I said...college degrees do not a person make. I agree with you (but about Bill) NO one will ever be even close to being like Bill. i get that.

[Wifflesnook]

Kay I echo everyone else's feeling, both for you as you remember George on this anniversary, and because you are our support as we walk this path without the physical support of our loves ones. Thanks

[Queeniemary]

Kay I know yesterday was hard for you. I don't think it will matter to any of us how many years pass since losing our dear ones, the anniversary of that loss will always be difficult. I had lunch with my young cousins widow yesterday, she is about mid 40s. She ask when does this feeling go away, so that I can feel normal. My friend Dana, also a widow, explained there is no returning to the old normal. That is all gone, that you just have to create a new one as you go along. He only died a little over a month ago, and she is still in that disbelief stage. Expecting him to walk in the door. I remember those days, so hard. And even after 8 years, Kay, I know you still feel the same. Thinking of you.

Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas

[kayc]

I had a rough day at work yesterday, involved a lot of thinking, very intricate. After work I took a break to read the paper and just vegetate. I drove the long commute home and walked Arlie, returned phone calls, and sat down to watch a movie I'd rented, which I think was very good except I couldn't concentrate...may have to give it another try sometime (Cloud Atlas). It was NOT the movie to watch when your brain is fried and distracted!

[LarrysGirl]

Kay, sorry I missed this post, I wasn't on here for a few days. I was just saying to someone today, that in November it will be eight years since Larry died. I think like you, it seems so long ago, yet just like yesterday. I know you miss him and the special things you love about him. We get to hold those memories and love close in our heart always. I'd give anything to see Larry's face, touch his hands, hear his voice. I'm so glad you had a man that loved you and took such good care of you. Though I missed this special day, know that I think of you often and the bond we have had for the past 8 years, love you, Deborah

[kayc]

Thank you, Deborah, that means a lot to me. You're one of the last ones here with the same time frame. I'm not sure if Walt and Evelyn still read here or not, once in a while anyway. Don't know what happened to Karen B, miss her.

It's funny, whatever we've adjusted to, that's what we have, it doesn't seem to change much after a certain point, does it?

[MZM]

Hi Kayc

I know it has been a while since Ive been on. Just wanted to say George would be proud of you - so many years later you use your grief to help others... Hope you are feeling better today. Will never forget my friends from this site.