A Sunday Morning Story.....

[Margm]

“All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost. 
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

About 49 years ago Billy and I bought new wedding rings. The original were big and sorta cumbersome. Small was lots better. He had given me his class ring as a melted down gold nugget necklace for a gift, an actual surprise, many years ago. But, this wedding ring he had melted into a nugget, and we have kept it all these years. He had a black cord as a holder. There is a fact about grief, it can bother your memory, sometimes make things completely gone from your memory. I could not remember where he put this nugget necklace. I was looking for the black cord. There are some things you don't pray for, some things that are so superficial, like as a kid praying for catching a fish. But, this was not superficial. Billy knew where that nugget was, but I didn't. I could not move on, I could throw nothing away, I could give nothing away, because it might be located in that "thing" I was getting rid of. So, leaving here, discarding things was impossible. I prayed to Jesus and Billy to help me find it so I could move on.

Last night, before bed, I thought I would go through my jewelry box one more time. Not expecting anything at all, I had been through it at least 10 times since Billy's leaving. Last night, the first thing I saw was the gold nugget without the black cord. I had searched for the black cord and overlooked the nugget all these days. How many times in life do we search for the wrong thing, overlooking the special thing?

I cried and cried with relief and also crying for my grief addled brain. This morning I can move on. I slept for about 8-1/2 hours last night, almost straight through. This is a Sunday morning story, prayers given, prayers answered. You know it was not the monetary value of the nugget, it was the value to me of memory. I could not leave that memory, lose it, or throw it away. Now, I am not free, only widowers and widows know they will never be free, but, I feel a release of something. I can get busy now. I will.  

This is not meant to be a religious story, I cannot place my belief system on anyone else, but I can tell you that some of my magical, mystical thoughts have come back to me.  And, like the lost sheep, my magical mystical thoughts believe Billy helped me.  This is MY second childhood, and now I can live it not fully without him, but feeling that he is somewhere close.

[MartyT]

Beautiful story, Margaret, and I've no doubt that your beloved Billy helped you to find what you were looking for. Thank you so much for sharing this experience with all of us  ♥

[scba]

Thank you for this story. I am not religious but I belive Billy is behind of all of it.

Last night I watched the Fellowship of the ring. I like this quote from The return of the king,

Home is behind the world ahead. And there are many paths to tread, through shadow to the edge of night, until the stars are all alight. Mist and shadow, cloud and shade, all shall fade, All shall fade"

[kevin]

That is a good Sunday Morning pick me up. Either you were in Billy's mind, or he was in  yours, then these little mysteries are solved. And I truly agree with you, prayers allow this to happen. On that note, off to Church today.....have a good one

[Margm]

scba, I have not watched the movies all the way through.  I will now though.  Thank you.  I wish I was religious, I wish I was a good Christian person, but my main wish is for the faith system I used to have, the "peace that passes all understanding."  It is not for everyone, but I believe (and that is MY belief, not shoved on anyone else), that when I totally reach my faith again, then and only then will I have the peace I so desperately need.  We all have our own paths to go down.  

[Margm]

This is who Debi introduced me to.  I think he is a 13th century poet/prophet.  Another one he wrote was about walking this path we are on and how no one else can walk it for you.  It is not my journey for you, it is not your friend's journey, it is only your path and no one but you can walk it.   

[Kpl48]

I'm so glad you were led to the nugget. I'll remember your experience of looking for the cord. That kept you from finding the nugget. Thank you for sharing this. 

[KarenK]

Margaret,

It is a wonderful story and I hope thoughts of the nugget's discovery bring some peace to your heart. I am also enjoying the writings of Rumi. A wise man, indeed.

Karen

[WolfsKat]

That is a beautiful story....thank you for sharing....I've no doubts that Billy heard, and helped.

[Margm]

I will just add this on to my Sunday morning story.  It actually was sent Saturday night and I knew it was going to take some time for me to study it.  My mind does not want to study anything, but I am glad I did it just for Tristan's quote.  I know it is probably just legend. This is just an incident in my life, and really my life is not that interesting.  My sister (the college teacher) likes to send me stories that will make me seek other information, make me think.  Maybe that is why she is such a good teacher and her students love her.  I consider this a gift she has, and she shares it with me often.  She sent me a story about historic England and a castle called Tintagel.  Of course, I had to start googling everything.  It hit a familiar note in my brain about star crossed lovers named Tristan and Yseult (Isolde).  Then on my trip of discovery, which I actually reluctantly went on, I read about Richard Wagner's opera and all the trouble he had with it, about his life, etc.  The thing that struck me the most (and she said when she read it, it had "Margaret" written all over it, was this quote.

 "Tristan: You were right. I don't know if life is greater than death. But love was more than either."

[kayc]

Margaret, that is a truly precious story, and I'm so glad you're reconnected with your gold nugget.  I understand, things like that are just so special!