Falling

[kayc]

Kitty is doing better, not eating as much as a couple of weeks ago but then it's super hot right now.  She's copping an attitude and getting demanding with me, which is a good sign, it means she's feeling more like herself!

[Clematis]

Copping an attitude - that sounds like a good sign. And you are probably eager to give her anything her little heart desires...   =^. .^=

[kayc]

Oh yes!  I'm just so happy to see her doing better!  Still not eating as much, maybe she's slowing down & doesn't need as much.  As long as she has cattitude (as my daughter calls it)!

[Clematis]

I am now getting sick on top of everything else. Dang! Just yesterday I was thinking that I was getting enough better that I would start going back to the gym; it seemed like I was getting more energy. I think it is a bacterial respiratory infection - I get those a lot, and it seems that the sooner I get Zithromax from my doc, the milder it is and the faster it clears up. I'll see if I can get hold of him later today... Meanwhile, it may not be the best time to go back to the gym

[kayc]

Rest up until you're better!  Best not to push yourself when you are sick.

[Clematis]

Thanks, Kay! I was thinking that I should start back to lifting weights - like tomorrow, before I got sick. Now I realize that's totally ridiculous. I was talking to my friend Adrienne today; she is very smart and full of good information. She told me that even with just my head/neck injury it was too soon for that. She said I should walk or go on gentle hikes. Dang! I hate it when she's right. She isn't always right but I always listen to her, and I'm afraid this is one of those times...

Say, how is Kitty?

 

[kayc]

I think leisurely walks would be perfect!  They relieve stress and are good for us!  Would Lena go on one with you?  Miss Mocha used to go part way on ours.

Kitty is doing pretty good, she's slowed down a bit, I guess her age is catching up with her  but her breathing and her system seem fine.  I guess I just expect too much out of a 20 year old cat!  I want her to live forever!

[Clematis]

9 minutes ago, kayc said:

I think leisurely walks would be perfect!  They relieve stress and are good for us!  Would Lena go on one with you?  Miss Mocha used to go part way on ours.

Kitty is doing pretty good, she's slowed down a bit, I guess her age is catching up with her  but her breathing and her system seem fine.  I guess I just expect too much out of a 20 year old cat!  I want her to live forever!

Lena does a little hiking, always on a leash. She likes to get down and roll around in the red dirt and come back as a brown cat. It always involves a little bit of picking her up and carrying her - because there is a dog off leash or because we want to go in different directions. I could slip in a tiny bit of weight lifting that way...hahaha!

I know what you mean - I want Lena to live forever - it's hard to imagine how I could ever live without her. But she's still young - will be six in December. Hopefully we have many good years together yet.

My neighbor in the end condo unit was here for the last week and we had a great visit. She hadn't been here in over three years and brought a friend with her from her primary residence in Portland OR. They are both from the UK. The friend was absolutely enraptured with Lena, calling her "Sweetie Darling", petting her, raving over her and playing with her. She said the absolute highlight of her trip to Sedona was Lena doing a "high-five" with her.

[Clematis]

This is so discouraging - seems like as soon as things start to get better I get knocked down again. I was starting to get ideas of things maybe I could do, but I think all I can do right now is the bare minimum that I have to do. Dang!

[kayc]

Bare minimum it is then!  Rest, dear Laura, rest!

[Clematis]

Thank you, Kay - you are very sweet. I barely left the house and took a big fat nap. I did no work and did not drive to Flagstaff to Orchestra rehearsal, and that was a relief. I did, however get one monkey off my back. I was thrilled to be asked to do the artwork for our community orchestra's program for this season, and wanted it to be special. But I've been so tired and out of sorts I kept putting it off, although I did have a basic plan and had done a lot of sketching. So I did that today.It's not quite finished, but here it is...

It looks more yellowish than it really is, due to the incandescent lights. Check out that little blur near the violin's chin rest - it's Lena's tail. I had the painting sitting on a chair to photograph it, and right as I snapped the picture, Lena jumped on the chair!

[kayc]

It's wonderful!  And that's funny, that Lena found her way into the picture!   I think when we're sick it's better to do something we love, it's de-stressing besides!

[Clematis]

Thank you! Here it is - all done. Lena also posed for the eye of the cat. It looks a lot better with natural light..

.

 

[Clematis]

On 9/26/2016 at 1:15 PM, kayc said:

Bare minimum it is then!  Rest, dear Laura, rest!

This is a hard one for me - although it seems like it should be easy. I've been struggling to get up to speed with the paperwork in my new district, where I am hoping to make a good impression. I worry about making mistakes although no one seems unduly concerned. I suppose the truth is that other people make mistakes and understand some amount of error, especially for a new person.

I think confusing myself with Hercules is due to coming from a critical background where nothing was ever good enough. Also, when I first started working as a school psychologist I was the only one in the district and I had no one to follow or to help me, while I was surrounded with staff who were vigilant in watching for any tiny error for which they could report me. Or they just made stuff up. It was a work environment that was so treacherous it made the prison system where I had worked the previous five years look nurturing in comparison. I totally fell right into my role there because I am used to pushing myself as if there was never any limit. But this year, working through grief and a head injury that doesn't work When I push myself too hard it only makes me regress. I guess this is a lesson that I would have to learn at some point; better now than after letting my neurotic patterns destroy my health.

Anyway, I have been resting and am lots better!

[kayc]

It sounds like you are in a better place now, and that is good.  To work in a place such as you described does not sound healthy for anyone!

[Clematis]

No, it was a terrible situation, and I think I was more traumatized by it than I knew. I think I still have not really recovered from it. The woman who ran the department was truly sociopathic and she really seemed to live to destroy people, especially competent women. She would hire some woman from out of town with a great resume - someone you'd be lucky to attract to a small town, and then set about dismantling her. I saw her do it repeatedly over four years. She was the champion of anyone she saw as damaged or unfit, and she would protect people who were incompetent, but she would basically build teams to go after someone, stopping at nothing to destroy them and then separate them from their job, many miles from their home and support system.

When I started work there, I was over the moon to have landed my dream job, but really didn't know what I was doing and I didn't have the computer software to write my reports. By the time I got what I needed to do my job, I was three months behind. I worked tirelessly and got caught up in another three months, which really was Herculean. As soon as I had proved myself she got on my back and never got off until I was jobless. First she tried to get me to quit via verbal abuse. Then she fabricated documents in my personnel file and forged my signature on them to build a case against me. When that failed she tried to eliminate my position and contract out the work, which costs more. The first year, the board totally shut her down, but the second year she was successful because the new board and superintendent didn't know what they were doing.

Had I not seen her do the same thing to other people, and had it spelled out to me more than once by people who knew the situation, I wouldn't have believed it was possible for someone to do what she did. I couldn't sleep for a long time, and would just about take to frothing at the mouth any time it came up anywhere, but there was nothing I could do. People either knew all about her- and they could tell me other versions or the same story, or they didn't believe anyone was capable of so much deliberate damage. I eventually stopped talking about it, because I decided it made me look paranoid to relate more than the tiniest piece of my story. My dad carried me financially while I struggled to get back on my feet. But now he's gone and I am still looking over my shoulder every where I go to see if I am about to be crucified, fired for a small error, talked about maliciously, or something else. I worry more than I ever did and am always incredibly relieved when I find that most people can and do forgive mistakes and lapses because no one is free of them.

[kayc]

Too bad someone doesn't slap her with a Hostile Work Environment lawsuit!  It took a long time for me to heal from my last job and my eyesight and the abuse suffered from the work environment (i.e. my boss) were big contributors as to why I decided to retire rather than look for another job...that and no one hired me in my year of actively looking the year before (age factor).

It does make you hyper vigilant!

[Clematis]

On 10/1/2016 at 6:07 AM, kayc said:

Too bad someone doesn't slap her with a Hostile Work Environment lawsuit!  It took a long time for me to heal from my last job and my eyesight and the abuse suffered from the work environment (i.e. my boss) were big contributors as to why I decided to retire rather than look for another job...that and no one hired me in my year of actively looking the year before (age factor).

It does make you hyper vigilant!

I know what you mean, and she certainly deserves it! Only problem is that I live in a small town surrounded by other small towns and people talk, especially about scintillating topics! Could be that I never worked again in this neck of the woods. Who wants to hire someone who sued their last boss? And who would corroborate anything I said when there is such widespread fear of this woman?

[kayc]

So true.  How long until you retire?

[Clematis]

11 hours ago, kayc said:

So true.  How long until you retire?

I don't know...5-7 years? Something like that. And then I had thought that I would work as a seasonal park ranger so I could get to wear one of those cool hats. But that was before the head injury when I still had endless energy - before my dad died and the car accident. I think it was  really the car accident that did me in. Last night I was reading some things I wrote on here in late April and when I read it, it's hard to believe it was me. It seems like I was bubbling over with energy, even though I was certainly grieving. I don't know what it will take to get back where I was, or if I ever will. I don't think anyone knows

[kayc]

I'm sorry, sometimes an injury can really change things for us, and it seems it has for you.  There is no compensation worthy of those changes.  Speaking of, have you heard any more on your case, is your lawyer getting anywhere on your behalf?

George and I had once thought it'd be fun to be campground hosts when we retired, but I wouldn't do that on my own.  Camping was something we did together.

[Clematis]

My attorney is waiting until my treatment is completed. The chiropractor says I have about two more weeks with him and he'll discharge me. He also told me that the soft tissue work would take longer. I have finally gone back to the gym and am hoping that exercising helps me get my energy back. I made another positive change last night as well. Every time I get an email or some other notification the computer makes a tiny ping, as does my iPad, and my iPhone, and all three matching devices that were my dad's, which are now on my Apple ID. It occurred to me that all of these little pings could be disrupting my sleep and I figured out how to set them all on "Do Not Disturb" from 10pm to 7am. This morning I counted how many emails came in during those hours and there were 31, mostly between 4 and 7:00, which would be starting at 7:00am on the east coast. That's 31 times six pings. I just wasn't aware of them, but it could have a lot to do with why I had such trouble sleeping until 7:00, which seemed like a good idea. I also turned off the printer and copier in the room where I am now sleeping, and it occurred to me that perhaps I should turn off the router in the room where I sleep so that radio signal isn't going all night long, along with three sets of flashing lights. Maybe I could get them on a timer so they go off late at night and come back on in the morning.

It seems kind of dumb now that I think about it, but I used to have three devices and I slept in the bedroom. Now I am sleeping in the cozy little day bed in the office, right next to the dining room, and so all of that electronic stuff in the house is going on within 12 feet of where I sleep. I guess I've had a lot of other stuff on my mind...

[iPraiseHim]

It is good you are learning and discovering what will help you to get go sleep.  Also, read about how blue light ( which emits from computers, phones, Lights, etc.. can affect our Melatonin levels and delays our bodies going to sleep. turning down the lights and dimming the screens help.  There are also blue blocker glasses that help some people.  I find that i make myself go to bed early enough to wake up naturally before the alarm is set to go off.  An activity tracker band can also track your sleep patterns.  It is not easy to slow down and relax on our own and sometimes forces will cause us to do that so we can repair and heal.  It is a season.  The more I can live in the moment the better I can handle whatever comes my way.

[Clematis]

I'm trying to go to bed earlier, but it's hard. I have started back at the gym again and am hoping that exercising will help me sleep more soundly, have more energy, and lose some weight, which would be really good for my health.

[Clematis]

I seem to be sleeping better and have finally gone back to exercising regularly - mostly aerobics classes in the pool. This seems to have brought me more energy and a better ability to focus and that's all good. I also had a six-day stretch with no headaches, but they returned. This week has been fall break from school and I thought I'd take advantage of the time to get caught up on my reports and paperwork. I have been better able to focus on the paperwork and get things done with fewer mistakes, but trying to focus for long periods has been stressful, which brings on the headaches again. 

My neighbors have continued to act up. They were never actually served with eviction papers and now the wife says she is going to solve the problem by having her husband move out by the end of the month. That means he'll still be around because he and their daughter are very close. So now he is even angrier, and feels that I am responsible for his problems and is stirring things up with the other neighbors, like asking a frail unstable woman who is struggling with cancer to lie to their landlord (same rental agent) and say she gave them permission to park in her carport, which she did for awhile and then refused to continue. When she refused, they lambasted her with vicious texts. I fail to see how letting part of the family stay will solve anything.

So he came over and dumped some things I gave his daughter four months ago on my sidewalk ten feet from my door. This seemed like an openly provocative gesture and called the police - a second report on these people. The officer took the stuff back to them, told them they should dispose any of their stuff they did not want through appropriate means, cited him with trespassing and told him that if he was seen on my property again he would be arrested. The property manager told me that calling the police was absolutely the right thing to do - because it establishes an evidenced trail of them harassing me. But the neighbor with cancer thought that was uncalled for. What a headache these people are!