Maryo

Hi Fred, I hope you don't mind if I join this topic. I lost my husband 15 months ago. I feel if I survived the first year and boy was it a hard year than I can survive anything.I took a early retirement package at 55 in Aug.I have a hard time with the loneliness that brings me to tears on many days.I have to much time on my hands now and am trying to decide on what I should do for the next part of my life.This is hard after working at the same place for 36 years. I think love will find us when we are not looking and when we are ready.I hope all the special anniversaries you have coming in the next few months are not to painful and will bring you some happy memories. Take care. Mary Lou

Hi Sherry, I think taking your camper to a campground for a try is a good idea.I have a trailer that my husband and I enjoyed from April until October. I decided after he died if I could spend 2 nights by myself then I would keep it and not put it up for sale.It was hard because I missed him so much but the trailer does give me pleasure and I have many friends there who have been very good to me and I also have meet new friends.Good luck. Mary Lou

Hi Ted, I think God does answer our prayers but it is not always the answer that we had prayed for.I like to think he sees the bigger picture and he knows what is best. Take care. Mary Lou

Hi Teny, Your family sounds lovely and what a great support they must be to you.You have many things to be greatful for because our children are the greatest gift of all. Take care. Mary Lou

Kim, Good luck with your daughters test.I will keep my fingers crossed. Mary Lou

Steely, I am so sorry about the loss of your husband. I hope all goes well at your grief counselling session.I am sure lots of tears will flow,but for me it was so helpful to talk to people who understand the pain we feel after the death of our loved one.There are many great people on this site who are helping me on this hard journey. Take care. Mary Lou

Hi Stuart, I am sorry about the loss of your wife.I have a 25 year old daughter and her grieving is more silent than my grieving and she doesn't always understand, but that is ok because everyone grieves differently. This is a hard journey but it does get easier. Take care. Mary Lou

Hi Laurie, You explained this grief journey so beautifully.I am at the 15 month mark of my husband death and I am at the stage where I have accepted that I am on my own now, but I am trying to look forward to the future because life is a very precious gift and it can end at any moment.Sure I still cry for what I have lost but I am still here and I want to make my life happy again. Take care. Mary Lou

Kat, Please don't be to hard on yourself. We go through many emotions after such a loss. Some days I feel I have it together and then I wake up one morning and I just want to crawl back under the covers. You will find joy again on the week-ends but it takes time.I hope tomorrow will be a better day. Take care. Mary Lou

Hi Debbie, Welcome to this group. I know it not a place we would wish on anyone, but this site is really a blessing. Warm and understanding people who know what real grief is. I am very sorry about the loss of your husband. Please take it one day at a time because this journey can not be rushed. Mary Lou

Thank you for the great advise everyone. You gave me alot to think about.I think I will try a phone call first, might save me a trip and many sad memories. Paula, What your husband did was something very special. Take care. Mary Lou

Hi Paula, I am sorry that everything feels so difficult for you today. I remember the first few months and I wanted to have everything settled the next day if not before.Everything is a process and nothing was getting done as fast as I wanted but eventually everything did get done. Even to this day 15 months later I am only starting to learn to be patient with myself and others.Sometimes we must put ourself first because we do not always get the help we need from friends and family even if they have good intentions. I hope your day will be better tomorrow. Mary Lou

I am trying to get up enough nerve to make my funeral arrangements.It was so painful for me when my husband died that I am hoping if I do this in advance it will make it easier for my daughter when my time comes.God willing I will have many more years. It will be at the same location where my husband's service was.Once I get there it will bring back all the painful memories but I feel it is something that should be done. Thanks for listening to me. Mary Lou

Hi Valley, Thank you for sharing your special pictures with us. It's ok to cry because it shows how much you loved Tom. Take care. Mary Lou

Hi Teny, I am at the 15 month of my husband death. Today I sat on a bench at the cemetery and watched the geese walk around. The sun was shining and it was very peaceful. I hope monday will be a very peaceful day for you and your family. Take care. Mary Lou

Hi Boo, It is nice to see you back. When I first joined your words were a great comfort to me. Take care. Mary Lou

Hi Kat, I am so sorry you are having a bad day and it is ok to feel sorry for yourself. All the emotions that you are feeling are part of the grieving process.When our loved one dies of course we feel cheated. I think it shows how much we loved them.It has been 14 months for me and I still don't understand why this had to happen but in my heart I know that it did and I have to accept that my husband is not physically with me but the love will never die because he will always be in my heart. Take care. Mary Lou

Rochel, What a lovely poem. Thank you. Mary Lou

Hi Ted, I did the one on one counselling by telephone in my own home. I was able to talk to her about everything I was feeling. The sorrow, guilt, and loneliness were also issues for me.I needed to hear that everything I was feeling was normal.I found it very helpful. Mary Lou

Hi Linda, The nights can be the hardest. I still sleep with a night light and my dog who curls up beside me. She is a great comfort to my daughter and myself. I am glad you have family and friends to help you during this difficult time. Life will get better. It won't be the same but it will never be as hard as the first few months. Take care. Mary Lou

Hi Rochel, The first few months are so very hard. I remember having to change my husband car over to my name and everytime I had to talk to someone I would cry so hard. I cried everywhere.I meet some nice people who were very sympathetic. But it will get better. Some days are still a challenge as a widow but nothing like the first few months. Be patient with yourself. Grieving can't be rushed, and try not to make any major changes for a while if at all possible. I have been at this for 14 months and the tears still come but not as often. Take one day at a time and try not to be to hard on yourself. Take care. Mary Lou

Hi Kat, I am sorry for your loss. I also had 25 years of marriage with my husband. I am sure you have many lovely memories that will help you in this difficult journey. This is a good place with many caring people who understand. Take care. Mary Lou

Hi Lucia, I hope tomorrow will be a better day for you. Funerals bring back a lot of memories with alot of tears. Enjoy the time with your family. Take care. Mary Lou

Kimi, Have a great Birthday and a lovely visit with your family. Take care. Mary Lou

Hi Mary Linda, I am sorry you are having a few rough days. I know some days I feel like I have it all together and then I go back to crying at the drop of a hat. I think you are so brave to go to dinner by yourself. I say brave because I have not been able to. Maybe I should try for breakfast and bring a newspaper to read.But like Valley I can go to the movies. I think I get lost in the characters and it makes me forget about my husband death for a few hours. I hope tomorrow brings sunshine and a smile on your face. Take care. Mary Lou