Kat2005

Sharon, What a great quote and how true. Right now I feel I am in the middle of the storm and hopefully with time I will learn to dance. Thanks and take care, Kat

Kath, That story in unbelievable. I don't know what I would have done in that situation. I probably would have left ...... I'm not good with rodents. Hopefully, that will never happen again. Do you know how it got in your house in the first place? Take care, Kat

Babs, When I read this poem it gave me such a peaceful feeling,I wanted to share it with everyone. I am so glad it brought you some peace after such a difficult day. Take care, Kat

Kath, What is the bat story? Kat

I like "Lady in Waiting". It sounds much better than the "W" word. And Kath, Chai Tea Latte is the best. Take care, Kat

Hi Everyone, I received this from a lady at my grief support group the other night and I thought I would share with all of you. Reading it has helped me and I hope it will bring some comfort to you as well. If I Could Just Phone Home I see your tears that fall down like rain And I know how hard it is to carry on, But if I could do one thing to help you to get through, I would ask the Lord for one more chance to talk to with you. If I could just phone home, I would tell you that today I soared with eagles. And the peace that I'm feeling just cannot be explained; And the love that fills my joyful soul just cannot be contained. If I could just phone home, You could hear it in my voice that I'm so happy. Now I can sit within God's presence; rest in His secure embrace, I can laugh and talk with Jesus while His light surrounds my face. If I could just phone home.... Now, I know that it's easy for me to be brave Because it's you that's left behind so very broken. But I promise you one thing, there's so much more than you know. So try your very best to trust in God and let your grief go. If I could just phone home, When you need me I will meet you in your heart. Talk to me like you used to and though you might not hear a word You can find me in the starry night and in the sweet song of a bird. Until we meet again, know I love you and forever always will. Death can't separate our love, Our hearts will always be as one. Our love's not finished now, but only just begun. My life has just begun. ... Elizabeth Schmeidler Take care, Kat

We recently have had quite a few days of really cold weather. Some of you are probably laughing but down south we are not used to freezing or below freezing temperatures for any length of time. Last night I had to try to wrap exposed pipes and bring in all my plants. I was outside in the dark trying my best and I just started crying and couldn't stop. He was always the one to do all of these things. It just gets overwhelming trying to deal with all of the emotions and then having to deal with situations like this. The reality of being alone really slaps you in the face. I keep telling myself baby steps. Once again, thanks for listening. Kat

Debbie, Good luck tonight! You are taking a major positive step in your life. Good for you! Take care, Kat

How true!! Thanks for sharing. Kat

James, You understand exactly what I am feeling. Maybe I should have used the words "Saying Goodbye" instead "Letting Go". I know I will always have my memories. God knows I am constantly thinking of all the good times (and bad). I guess I am afraid of forgetting although I know deep down I never will. Thanks again and take care, Kat

Susie, Thank you for sharing your beautiful story. The way this family will be honoring your husband is so touching. Again, thanks for sharing. Kat

I don't know if anyone else is feeling this way but I am having a really hard time saying goodbye to "2009". I just feel this emptiness. Although it is six months, I still want to hold on to 2009 for some reason. I guess it is just starting a new year alone that has me. We at least shared 6 months of 2009 together. At 53 I would have never dreamed I would be facing everything by myself. I guess having to deal with 4 "firsts" in a week has taken its toll on my emotions, New Year's, Birthday, Christmas and 6 month anniversary of lossing the love of my life. I pray that everyone will find some peace and happiness in the New Year. Kat

Good Morning John, Happy Anniversary! Although I haven't had this "first" yet, I believe that the memories and the love that we still feel will help us through times like this. Be kind to yourself and remember to take one step at a time. I will say a prayer that you will find some comfort during this special day. Take care, Kat

Ted, It was very hard the first time that I visited the gravesite. Alot of tears were shed. I find comfort when I go now. I sit and just tell him what is going on in my life. This might sound crazy but I can feel him and I know that he is watching over me. Ted, no one can tell you when the right time will be ..... only you will know that. I will keep you in my prayers. Take care, Kat

Boo, Thank you so much for your kind words. Sharing your experiences has helped me tremendously. This site has been a God send for me. Everyone here has gotten me through some very hard times. Thank you so much! I will keep you in my prayers. I hope the New Year brings you comfort and peace! Take care, Kat

John, I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. Everyone deals with this in their own way. This may sound silly but I bought some balloons. I bought a "Merry Christmas" , "Birthday" (Pat's b-day was 12/28)and a "I Miss You" balloon. I went to the cemetary and let them go and watched until I couldn't see them anymore. I plan on doing it Valentine's Day and our anniversary in April. It may sound silly but it brought me much comfort and right now I will do anything to get through each day. If you need to be alone family and true friends will understand. You do whatever gets you through the day. Be kind to yourself and remember she will live in your heart forever. I will keep you in my prayers! Take care, Kat

Well here we are. One holiday down and one more to go. I made it through Christmas thanks to friends, family and this site. It really helped that everyone kept me so busy yesterday. Some of my family members honored Pat by making donations to the Prostate Cancer Foundation in his name for Christmas and for his birthday which is Monday the 28th Although it brought tears it also brought comfort to know that he was remembered during the holidays. I am actually having a harder time today. I know it sounds crazy ..... I guess it is that everything is over and I am once again alone with just my thoughts and memories. I just get so upset because I feel robbed of a life that should have been. I look at my son, although he is actually a young man and think of the father/son relationship that he will never have. He is at the age where he and his dad would have enjoyed hanging out together, playing golf or just watching football. He is now in his first year of Medical School and I know his dad is watching over him and has a huge smile on his face. He was one proud dad. I'm sorry I just needed to vent to someone. Sometimes I need to throw myself a pity party. I just miss him so much it makes me crazy! Once again, thanks for listening. Kat

Sharon, I am so sorry for your loss. You will find so much comfort from this site. We are all on the same journey....trying to make sense of it all. You will find loving compassionate people here that will listen whenever you need someone. We truly understand. This is such a hard time of the year for everyone. I am just holding on to my memories hoping that they will ease the pain. I will keep you in my prayers and I wish you a blessed holiday season. Take care, Kat

Hi Everyone, I would like to wish all of my dear friends a Merry Christmas! It will be difficult but our memories will help carry us through. Marty, I also want to thank you for being there for all of us. I find such comfort from this wonderful site and I feel I have made some wonderful friends here. Hope you have a Blessed Holiday! Kat

Rochel, I have been on the site numerous time over the past few days. I feel like I am repeating myself and I was afraid that everyone would get tired of hearing the samething from me. I have been having a really difficult time lately. Tomorrow will be six months and next Monday the 28th would have been his birthday. I have been doing alot of crying, I just miss him so much. Rochel, I feel such a connection to you. I consider you such a dear friend eventhough we have never met. You have such a caring heart and so willing to be there for everyone. I will definitely be here on Christmas Eve. Let know when you plan on being on and I will try to be also. Again, thanks for being there for me tonight my dear friend. You take care and I will keep you in my prayers. Kat

John, you have got that right. I can hardly remember when I actually looked forward to the weekends. Now I look forward to the work week. I can't believe that those words are coming out of my mouth. I've learned to try to keep busy. I think it has even gotten worse since the time changed and the nights are longer. The Holidays aren't helping either. Just remember you are not alone here. There are wonderful compassionate people willing to listen at anytime. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Take care, Kat

Korina, I am right there with you. It will be 6 months on the 23rd for me. I don't know how it is for you but I am having a difficult time just functioning in my daily routine right now. Having so many first in a week is so overwhelming. What is a good night sleep? I don't know, I haven't had one in such a long time. I am exhausted all of the time. Paperwork! I took care of the things that had to be done immediately but the things that didn't have to be done it still sitting there. It is just another step that I am not ready for. It just validates everything. I hope you find some peace over the holidays. Enjoy your visit with Scott's family. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Kailyn. Take care, Kat

Susie, I don't know what is going on with me right now. I have been having a really hard time lately. I know what you mean not wanting to be alone but on the otherhand not wanting to be social. I sit in the house alone and just think about how it used to be. I feel like I live my life in a "day dream" because that is all I do. I spend most of my days just thinking about the wonderful life we had and wishing it could be that way again. I don't know how I will get through this. Next week is going to be one of the hardest. Pat will be gone 6 months on the 23rd and his birthday is on the 28th.....not to mention the holidays on top of it. For some reason the doubts are creeping back. Should I have seen the signs sooner, should I have gotten another opinion. It is terrible how our minds work. I guess we just want everthing to be back to the way it was. I know there will always be the pain of loss I just have to learn to control the pain and not let the pain control me. I know I say this all the time but I am so grateful for everyone here. It is amazing how close I feel to all of you. I always feel so much better when I come here. Thanks for listening! Kat

John, I am really lost for words. I just want to let you know how sorry I am for the loss of your wonderful Krystal. What you had was very unique. Like you and Krystal, I also met my husband at work. We worked together for over 30 years and were married for 25. He passed on June 23rd and that is the day my whole world was turned upside down. My heart feels like it has a huge hole in it. I know as time goes on the hole will become smaller but it will never feel the love that I shared with Pat. It will be six months next Wednesday and my emotions are still all over the place. The tears still flow but I am able to control them alittle more then before. Just remember to take care of yourself. Come here as often as you need to because there is always someone here to listen. Unfortunately, this journey we are on is not a pleasant one. Each person's grief is unique. All I can say is that I have felt so much love and compassion from my friends here. They understand because they are going through the samething. I will keep you in my prayers. Take care, Kat

Ellen, First let me say I am so sorry for your loss. All the people here are so caring and offer such good advice. They have helped me through some really rough times. My journey started 6 months ago when I lost my love, soulmate and best friend. We were married this year 25 years. He had an aggressive form of prostate cancer. We didn't realize at that time that we would only have 9 months. We were lead to believe that we could possibly have at least 5 years or more. The one thing that I have learned is not to expect too much of myself. Somedays are good....somedays not so good! That's okay! I have learned that everything I have been feeling is normal. I really thought I was loosing it at times. The one thing I have found much comfort in is my journaling. Take care of yourself. Come here when ever you need to talk to someone. There is always someone to listen. We are all going though this journey together and we are here for each other. I will keep you in my prayers. Take care, Kat