closs86

Hi I am so sorry for your terrible loss, I also lost my love on April 6, 2010, we all understand what you are feeling, I wish I could make it all go away for all of us, but we can't. I also get the anxiety in my chest and throat, my doctor gave me medication, sometimes it helps sometimes nothing helps, it all depends, but you can ask your doctor to give you something for it, when I first told my doctor about it, he took and e k g, and blood workup and in the end he said there is nothing wrong with you, you have a broken heart, and that is physical pain. Everyone's advice is so good here, try to listen, go out a little, even if you don't want to, push yourself, it does wind up helping. Keep coming here, someone is always around. Take good care of yourself Hugs Karen

Hi Marion Glad you decided to stay, we need as many people as we can get to lean on each other. for strength, and support, it dosn't matter how old you are or how long you were married, losing a partner that you truly loved is painful no matter what. hugs karen

Hi Nat, You sound like you had a lot of stress today, you have a lot on your mind, but Ruth will give you the strength to get through it all, I know it, and your friend will also help you. I love your quotes, they are wonderful. In my thoughts and prayers Hugs Karen

Hi Suzanne, I understand what you mean, and i don't expect things to get better for me either, how can they, my love for him will only get stronger, and i will only miss him more and more with each passing day. How could you get used to or accept the loss of the love of our lives, impossible. so I do know what you mean, Take care karen

Dear Alone, I lost my husband on April 6, so i am still on a roller coaster, I also do things, work, out to diner, kids, grandkids, the whole thing, but there is a hole in my heart, and nothing none of it can fix or heal it., I keep looking for answers and peace, but there is none. I guess we have to take it one day at a time, like we have heard a million times. we don't have much of a choice. take care Karen

Hi Suzanne, So sorry for your pain, this all dosen't give me anything to look forward to my husband is gone 3 1/2 months and I can't breath as it is, so you are telling me it is going to get worse, don't think I can do that, take care Karen

HI I also agree and also at 3 1/2 months that i will not take my ring off, and i will never date anyone, just the thought gives me the creeps. Everyone is different, and it is o k for some but it just can't work for others, take care Karen

Hi Jct, I am so sorry for your tragic loss, what a horrible thing to happen, I lost my husband on April 6 in 3 weeks to pancreatic cancer, also unexpected and a shock to all of us, I can't imagine what you are going through with a little newborn, do you have someone to help you? I don't know what to say, this is all so heartbreaking, I wish I knew why, but we don;t have the answers here, maybe someday we will get to understand why everything happened the way it did. God give you strength in your life and for your baby, I hope you find peace, Take care Karen

HI Everyone, I am having a bad time of it the past 2 weeks, Johnny passed on April 6th, I know that it is new, but it seems to be worse for me the past few weeks, I feel like my feelings and mindset is changing, I feel like I want to withdraw, and i am trying not to, I am seeing a counselor, I hope that she can get me through this. Take care Karen

Hi Susanne, I hate when people tell me that stuff also, because i am not interested in feeling better, I just want Johnny back, it feels like my heart is also dead, and i doubt that it will ever feel any different, I also just am waiting for god to take me so that i can be with johnny, I understand exactly what you are talking about. there is no cure, we are not sick, we will never be better. and it seems to be getting worse as the months go by. God Bless Hugs Karen

Hi Cheryl, Hope you have a good time on vacation, like everyone said make some new memories, he will be with you i am sure, Have a good time God bless Karen

Hi Redwind, Well I feel the same way as you do, I can't cook anymore, so it is a little bit of a problem, I eat a lot of salad with tuna or grilled chicken, I eat brown rice and goya beans with grated cheese on top, I make some garden burgers already made just heat up and a sweet potatoe in the micro, lots of sandwiches turkey and cheese, it is terrible to eat alone, you just do it to fill up. I stopped eating all the healthy good food we used to eat, because it did nothing for johnny, did it? I am eating whatever i am not supposed to eat, i have high cholesterol, sll i have been eating is cheese, like a death wish. which i do have. sorry to be so depressing take care, Karen

I believe that our loved ones give us signs and also dreams, my husband passed on April 6th at 4;44 in the afternoon, my older son woke up 2 nights in a row and the clock said 4;44, he told me about it and that night I also woke up at 4;44, I told my younger son about it and he is a skeptic and he called to tell us that he also woke up at 4:44, I would say that is to much of a coincidence, can't be. I also dreamt of him hugging me. it was so nice and so real, then I dreamt of him again, I was coming home from work and I opened the kitchen door and he was standing by the stove with a big wonderful smile on his face. I believe that they are with us all the time, and come to us in these ways, or other signs, you have to be aware or you can miss the signs. Karen

I do believe that they do come to us in different ways, and dreams are definately one way, you sound like you had a beautiful dream, I wish i would dream of him more, i did a few times, but i would be happy to dream of him every night, god bless karen

Hi This is a great place, you can vent, and we all understand the pain and anger, we are all in this together unfortunately, I was married 44 yrs, i know how hard the change is, there are no words take care god bless karen

Hi It is 3 months for me also, and I find that it got a little harder, I think the fog wore off and reality has set in, I don't know what will happen for the rest of our lives, I can't even imagine being with anyone else, he was my one and only. It stinks being alone, I also depended on him for everything, he was a good man, and did a lot of things for me. we were together 44 yrs, we were one. sometimes now I feel like my insides are dead, like they died when he died, I almost feel emotionless sometimes, very strange. all i know is i miss him so much, and I am trying to live every day, one at a time, so many things i have to learn to do, that he used to do, I know that he is with me to guide me, but so hard. God bless us all Karen

Dear Sunstreet you are in my thoughts and prayers, I hope all goes well with your surgery, and you recover quickly. God Bless Karen

Hi Joe, It is 3 months for me, and I am home myself also, didn't want to go or do anything today, I just don;t feel like celebrating, my heart hurts to much, so I stood home and watched videos of us and our kids, really depressing, but what can i say it is what it is. horrible, My heart aches so much tonight, I miss him so bad, I can't stand it. Take care Karen

Hi My first holiday alone also, haven't been out of the house except to walk the dogs, this is really terrible, last year was so different, what happened? Karen

Hi Wendy, I know what you are saying, how and why?????, I guess we aren't supposed to get an answer, but that is what we are looking for, I know that I am, why would this happen to us, there are so many bad people out there, why take the happy ones that are needed here. I just don't know take care Karen

Hi Abby, I also know what you are feeling, it is hard to watch other couples, because our other half is not with us anymore, I am so sorry for your loss, for all our losses, it is just so unfair Take care Karen

I know what you guys are talking about, I lost my husband of 44 years, on April 6, we were together for a long time and I just can't get used to it no matter hoqw hard I try take care karen

Hi Joe, I wish that we all can find some peace, this is a terrible hand that we have been dealt, Some days like today, I can hardly stand it, I just want to be with him, and I think crazy thoughts to achieve that, then I think of my kids and what that would do to them, I just don't know Joe, but I do understand the feeling like you are losing your mind, but sometimes when you wake up the next morning you feel a drop better, it truly is a roller coaster ride, I was with my husband for 44 years, and we loved each other very much, I really don't know how or why we have to go through this, it is so unfair. I miss him terribly today, plus it is my mom's birthday and she is with my husband, a terrible day for me. I pray that you have a better day tomorrow, and find a little peace in your mind and heart, I pray that for all of us that are suffering here. God Bless Karen

Walt, Thanks for sharing that, it was so beautiful Karen

Hi Roz, as good as it was for us before, is as bad as it is for us now, We do find some strength in each other here, I know that it helps me, I look forward to reading the posts at night. I hope that you had a better day today, I worked until 7, got home took care of the dogs, ate a little something and before you know it is bedtime. Like I said before, my favorite time of the day, can't think, and maybe a good dream of our loves. Take care Peace in our hearts and minds Hugs Karen