LostmyHoney

I am just so very sorry your having to deal with this on top of everything else! I wish you the best of luck with this! Rachel

My Honey always told me he wished I would go to work with my hair down once in a while, so everyone could see just how pretty it is. See, I usually put it up in a ponytail for functionality, he understood this. So when days like that come up for me, I do just as he wanted, I leave it down, to honor him. For some reason it helps me to feel closer to him and it makes the day a lil easier. Rachel

Thank You Casey! Rachel

I just want you to know that Im sorry for your losses. I really dont know how to deal with the irritability, as I am having the same issues. You are not alone. Rachel

Harry, Im so very sorry for your loss. I wish you peace. Rachel

Im so sorry for your loss. When ever your birthday was/is I hope you had/have a peacefull one. Rachel

When I was in high school, in 1979, I had an english teacher who all ways wore polyester suits. As we all know high school kids can be mean at times, and he was the butt of many jokes. One day he told us of his story about his suits. He told us all of his love story with his wife. Then went on to tell how she found out she was ill and wouldnt live much longer. Knowing he had no sense of style she had gone out and bought him enough suits (polyester) to last him the rest of his life. He then told of how he knew he could go and get a more updated wardrobe, but that the wardrobe he had meant so much to him that he just couldnt do it. Not one dry eye from the girls in the class and not a peep outta one boy. I was impressed with the other students as they stoped jokeing about the polyester suits and the class was much more controled after that. It just goes to show that we dont know what peoples storys are unless they tell them. I now understand what it took for him to tell his story, and am so very glad he did. Im not sure why I felt the need to tell this story here but I just had to do it. Thank for reading! Rachel

Nats, I have been packing our things up getting ready for my move as well. Due to the length of my move I am haveing movers take all our things, and my car cross country, while I fly home and find an apartment to put it all into when it gets there. I will thankfully have my parents there to help me and allow me to use one of their cars. I am packing my stuffed family in one of my suitcases as I dont feel I would make it more than a few days without them. My Honey is going to be in my carry-on bag. Though I dont leave till March 31st, I have been feeling the stress theas past few days. I am glad that you have such a good friend in Brenda! I hope all goes well with your closing and you dont remain in limbo for too long! Rachel

Oh my gosh just took a trip down memory lane, a lil crying a lil laughing and a lot of peacefullness thank you so much for the link Keyboardplayer! Rachel

You sound a lot like my Honey, Thank You! Rachel

That is just so sweet, My Honey started a lil family for me. The oldest is a Christmass reindeer named "Bucky jr" after his daddy(my Honey), he was a rescue from a claw machine while I was visiting from NV. Then I went home and adopted a lil girl bear named "Strawberry" (her coat is a strawberry). Then I moved to NC to be with my Honey and he rescued "Blue Bumble"(hes a blue monster "type") and "Snottyfire"(shes a purple dragon). And the youngest "Charlie" a teddy bear that came with my engagement ring. A few months befor my Honey left me he made me promise that I would keep talking with them, make sure Charlie gets some cheese now and then, to give the girls their tea party nights, and to let Bucky jr sit at the window to watch the "hotties" at the pool. I have spent many many days just sitting on the couch snuggleing with them crying and yes haveing conversations with them all, about how much we all miss "Daddy Buck", and about some of the crazy things he used to talk about... oh jeeze I think I sound crazy lol oh well it works for me. Rachel

Its been 6 mo for me, a friend from work told me a loss like this is not something you will ever get over, you just get used to it cuz thats all you can do. Reminded of an old ache Ive had for several years, even with asprin ext. I still feel it, some days more sharply than others. My grief, like slow hot burning embers will always be there. Im so very sorry for all of our pain here. (((hugs))) Rachel

I think my Honey could have lived to be 137 and I still would have hoped for more... I imagine its like that for many of us here. (((hugs))) Rachel

Hi Suzanne, I feel the same. You know that old Gladys Knight song "Midnight train to gorgia" "I'd rather live in his world, than live without him in mine"...but as you, I realize I have no choice but to wait till it is my time to go "HOME". Though I have a plan for my life, only because I have some making up to do with my parents. I wasnt all ways the best of daughters to them in the past, and the lil bit o time I got with my Honey helped me to "grow up" quite a bit. Im hoping that I can spend some quality time with my Mommy and Daddy, BBQing for sure, Church on Sundays...ext. I'll be back in my home town with them and my sons on the 31 of March, though I may have some fun, I know I will always feel the slow hot burning embers of grief. (((hugs))) Rachel

Di I just want you to know I struggle with all those things as well...but we just keep on going... (((hugs))) Rachel

DITO!!!!! Rachel

Hi Kat, I know your not crazy ! I believe ! Rachel

Carol Ann, I hear you! I wish peace for your day of contemplation, and that you can embrace the love you feel for your Melissa. Rachel

Hi Mrcelloboy Wow is right, Im so sorry for your loss. I feel for you... I dont know what everyones beliefs are but I feel that "The One" "The Almighty" knew I would be counting the "37"s and chose his passing date as a message to me. What I have gotten from this is that it was in fact time for him to go on and that he is in fact still the jokester he always was. Also that my life should be celebrated to the full extent of my ability, though I struggle with just getting by right now and have trouble just getting out of the house except for work. Rachel

Happy Birthday Marty ! Rachel

OK hope I dont sound cold here or offend anyone but... there are people in this world that just need it "spelled out" for them. Discussions, subtletys, and niceties go right over there heads. Simple, Blunt, to the Point, and mabey even a lil aggressiveness(ok just firmness) and if that dosnt work nothing will. Rachel

I feel for all of us here. I have spent the last 3 weeks surounded by v-day cards, candy and other various items at work. Working in retail sucks at times like thease, but I have been moved to the stationary department so its not like I can avoid the stuff by going the long way around. It stares me right in the face all day long. UHHHGGGG!!!!! Rachel

I want to thank you all for your responses, they mean a lot to me. Gail thank you for the web sites I have added them to my fav list, good reading. Rachel

A while back I posted about my Honey's obsession with the number 37. It came from a joke he heard as a young man, the punchline was "I accidentally fell on the knife 37 times". He would make references like "We could win 37million dollars" or "We'll end up with 537thousand of them". Last night I counted out the weeks to 37 and when I got there I was dumbfounded... from Thursday Sept 2nd I counted 37 weeks and when I saw the date was the 19th I thought "No way" I looked up to the month and there it was...May. I was hit with a bunch of emotions. May 19th is my birthday. I found myself laughing and crying at the same time. I have had so many thoughts run through my head, how very odd it seems. Coincidences... mabey, but it felt like more that that. Rachel

PopPop, I am so very sorry for all that you are going through, I too have questioned what the possible reasons could be for my lifes events. I have come to the conclusion that Im not ready for the answers, for in order to get them I would have to die, and Im not ready to do that yet. I wish you peace! Rachel