KATPILOT

Actually I was able to take them with my phone so here you go Gin. Laura has two pinch cat ceramics, a hanging tile, and a Lena bowl left. I will post those when I get back to work tomorrow.

There are at least two of Anne's Gin and Laura has a few and some other pieces as well. I can put some pictures up tomorrow so you can see.

Kathy and I met later in life too Kat. She had never been married and I had two grown sons. She said she never wanted to marry until she met me and never wanted children until I came into her life. Sadly we realized that we were on the edge of having children since she was 39. We also were a bit selfish wanting to enjoy our time together for as long as we could. She cried more than once over that decision. I can only say that if I had just suggested "let's do it" she would have done so and today I would have a piece of her. I have dreamed of that since she left. I can just picture a seventy year old dad at his daughters high school graduation. So yes Kat, I know what you're talking about.

This is the piece you bought Brad. "Sanctuary" by Sarah Treanor. Such a powerful statement from just one word. The photograph is actually a self portrait.

I just wanted to ad a photograph of my sister Erinn who worked so hard getting the drinks and ice set up as well as helping get things organized before the crowd arrived and helped clean up after it ended. She is the one who stuck by and supported me every step of my journey and helped me when I needed it most.

Brad the moment you first realize that you were doing something for just you and not Deedo and you, was a major event along your griefs journey. When I first realized I was just Steve not Steve and Kathy was a major turning point on my own journey. Months after that I found I was Steve but the connection was never going to leave . I was and always will be changed by her presence in my life. In every decision I make, everything I buy, and the list goes on and on, I shall always have Kathy in my life and my heart. My love for her has only grown stronger over the years. I just keep that love and move on with my life ever changing and evolving. Yes I think of me as just me. I am the only one of the two of us still using a body to move around but I see life now as an adventure. I will enjoy it for what time I have left. And you know Brad, I still cry sometimes too like after the art sale was over and later when I was at home, I just lost it. Yes I can still be me but it's going to happen for the rest of my days. How can I ever stop missing her? Says it all. We travel a path of grief that will never end. It is now part of our life for that love affair came with a price. What we can expect and will discover is that we will find joy and happiness again. As we continue living on there will be more times we smile and fewer times we cry but we will never be free of that. I for one don't want to be. I will take it because I love her still and I will look ahead and just like the first year, I will keep putting one foot before the other because it is the only way I can find the next adventure. Enjoy the hike Brad and remember there is nothing shellfish about taking time to grow in your own time. You are not the same man you were when you left. Imagine who you will be tomorrow.

Maryann! I wonder if this might not be Mark's pen. I found it under one of the seats in the back of my car. I hope this makes your day and I will send it to you. Just message me your address if it is and I will send it on it's way.

Here are some pictures and as soon as my daughter-in-law helps me with my video camera uploading I will have them up. Patty has promised to post some pictures as well as soon as she can find the time. In just a few hours she will be cooking away at Maui Pasta. Picture shows Anne talking with Karen and I can't seem to find one of your face Anne. We will surely find one on someone's camera. Laura is helping my grandchildren with their origami. The second photo shows Maryann, my grief counselor Joyce, Marty's husband Michael, and my dear friend Vicki. The third picture is Laura taking money in on the donation link of our web site. The fourth shows Brad and his daughter talking to my sister in the background with my sister-in-law Barbara helping my granddaughter Mayu with Patty in the foreground. The fifth of course is the band with Ronnie in the center, Greg on the left and Don on the right. And the last photo was of my new dear friends Patty and Maryann as I bid them goodbye at the airport this morning.

I feel so dumb sometimes. We took back the artwork that people had bid on but had to leave before the end of our show to my shop for pick up later and I left my camera there so I will post some pictures tomorrow. Marty the event was a wonderful success and we sold a lot of work but the best part was meeting and sharing the time with members of our group. I thank you Anne, Karen, Patty, Maryann, Laura and Michael for coming and helping make it work. Kay your piece will be in Maui by tomorrow. Theo your piece went to me. All of Maryann's pieces sold as well as most of Anne's. Laura had great success and my submarine is gone. Someone outbid me on Kathy's quilt and Patty's painting is going to hang in my house. Marty I lost the unicorn to a lady who just fell in love with it and the rest of your pieces were taken. Laura I so appreciate the computer on line donation help with those that paid by card and of course helping me make peace with Mr. Phone We are all worn out and are calling it a day. And Brad it was especially nice to see you again my friend. Peace to you all. We made a difference. Steve

Thank you all. I just want to say that this is all part of my healing as well and it has been my privilege. This sanctuary is just too important not to do something and I thank Kathy for putting the idea in my head which started this whole thing going. . I have been contacted by so many people who have heard about this event and are planning on coming that it blows me away. What amazes me the most is how in this crazy time of anger, unrest, and apprehension how people come together and show what love we are capable of. This is who were are suppose to be

That truth is so cool.

Butch it's not weak your feeling as you do. Perhaps taking care of your dad and all the stress involved in your life took it's toll on you. The overwhelming thing about grief is not having them there when we need them the most. Just as they always were. Rest if you can and let your love for Mary help for she is not very far away and that love goes on for all of time.

I feel somewhat the same Mitch. We were at a point where I could retire and we could start traveling more when her parents and mine were gone. Of course that came to be and now I am the only one left and although I travel now alone I guess I just don't know what else to do but that which we would have done together. I see older couples too in my work. I think very dearly of them for years ago I would do framing for this elderly couple who were German Jews who had worked at Peenemunde under Hitler which kept them alive I suppose. They were quite old and the last thing I framed for them was a celebration of their 75th wedding anniversary. I never saw them again but in my mind I think of them still as the faces of love. We never know how much time we will have but Kathy often said "Enjoy life for you never know when it will end." She said that I think because she hated seeing me stressing at work and all the small stuff. I tried my best but I never did get free at least not until she was gone. So I think back to the seventeen years I knew her and although I wish it had been longer. I too wonder why she had to die so young but I figure death is eternal. I'll find her and then we'll have all the time we wished for. You're a good man Mitch. You do a lot to help others and you have more strength than you know but I know it gets you still and it always will. My arms on your shoulder buddy.

Says it all in a nutshell. I see a medium every once in a while but sometimes Kathy just isn't there. It doesn't disappoint me. What does happen is I get support from someone who understands what I'm going through and since she would never offer a fix to my grief, what she does offer is a friendly ear with some insight. She has seen so many grieving souls that she feels and understands what anguish means and that puts her in a unique position. What we get out of counseling is a little about what we put into it. There are no fixes. There is only growth. We grow in our journey with knowledge, experience, and a friendly ear. What I find that is helpful is when my actual grief counselor helps me see a path I couldn't see on my own but I still have to take it. I have been working on healing for almost six years now and although I am better, I'm sure not done growing. I agree that good therapy isn't a cure for what's wrong but as we become the new person we are, insight is everything. This may not make sense to many of you especially if you are new to this journey but this weekend when I had a very sad moment in my house (and yes they still happen) I came out of the sorrow with a smile in my heart because even though it hurts like hell, I think about why it hurts. It's because I still love her so much and Kathy knows it. Sad as that may be, it's happy as well.

Cattletracks email invite. We are all pretty excited.

That's right. In aviation it is called transmitting in the blind. You speak in case someone is listening. We may not know if they hear us every time but you have to keep talking. The human soul is a powerful transmitter. It can reach all the way to heaven.

Yes Robin it can be overwhelming. I have been there myself just last night with my own grandchildren. Loving as they are, I still come home to the reality that is my life. Sorry you are having this sad time and though it will pass it will come visiting again. I know Kevin hears you and though it is small comfort, it is true that you are not completely alone.

Price list is back up Kay.

Just finished framing one of Patty's gicle's.

I trust everyone who has submitted art for the show understands that if the pieces have not sold prior to the show for the "buy now" price, then high bid whatever it is is the price it is sold for at the end of the show next Saturday and we all will have done our best to help make this a success. Any pieces left without a bid will hang in my front showroom with information on purchasing the pieces and where the money will be going to. If anyone wishes their artwork back, I will of course ship it if unsold. Thank you all for your help. Steve

Here is the current buy now price list showing what has already been sold.

Patty for sure he sees it and knows. I know it's not the same but you did good.

Gwen I think the hardest thing for me to overcome was that very thing. Life lost all purpose. Perhaps I felt that way because Kathy and I were so closely involved with each others lives. We shared the same goals and with her death those goals lost all meaning. I asked myself that same question. What's to live for? I still ask myself that same question once in a while when I get beat up at work. I used to think it was so we could afford to have a great life later and that helped me go back and fight some more. Yes the hardest hurdle for me was to find reason to keep going. It got better. It gets better.

Thank you Marty. Kay it may seem a little weird but it's actually not. Still an anniversary and still a day to cherish once you get past that one part. Perhaps it's because the memories are filled with so many good times that make it easier to enjoy this day.