lorikelly

Nancy I to am glad that you had a good day. my mom will be gone 8 mos. i miss her soooooooooooo much and can not believe i haven't seen her for that long. i hope your days continue to bring you happiness. lori

I am glad that you have found this site. you will meet alot of wonderful people and we are all on the same journey. we are all here to help and listen. pls keep posting . lori

Kelly Maybe that day won't be as bad as you think. i believe the time before it (the week or so ) can be the worse. i have not come to the anniversary date yet but this is what i have read and heard. i hope you are not in court maybe you should take the day off to be alone. I am glad that you feel God is with you and Josh. i can only say that with out my faith i would not be here. I will be praying for you. God Bless Lori

I know that after you lose someone it is normal to think of your own death. i have been so preoccuppied with it . i keep wondering when it will happen, how , what will happen? i also wonder am i going to get old and not be able to help myself. will i wind up in a nursing home? i am only 38 so i shouldn't be so worried but i am. i am also terrified of getting sick. i have this fear that i am going to get some kind of illness and not be able to take care of myself or go to work. it is crazy, i think about it all day. i took care of my mom at home and never placed her in a nursing home. i don't want my children to have to do this for me but i am so afaid of winding up in one, i am hoping i go before that happens. i told you this is a crazy topic , i just needed to see if anyone else felt this way. thanks for always listening to me. Lori

I feeling like i am always waiting for something. i am not sure what it is but i am waiting. the weekend comes and i hope i have things to occupy my mind, i have a husband and two boys so i should. my husband works crazy hours so he it not always home. then when the weekend comes i am not sure if i feel like doing anything. the nights i don't work are the worst i just want to crawl in bed and try to sleep it away. i can;t i have to do homework and cook but i just want to escape. i just want this empty waiting feeling to end. somedays it feels like it goes on forever. i have to really focus my mind on something else. lori

Lori I am feeling the way you are feeling right now. i thought i was doing so good and all of a sudden it hit me again. today i was in the shower crying that i wanted my mom. i know i cant have her back but part of me was hoping i would come out of the shower and the nightmare be over CRAZY. it will be 8 mos for me on march 3 and i wonder when will it get better. when will i stop blaming myself for things and when will i forgive myself. i can only hope and pray. i will do the same for you also. i think everyday is a new day and we are not sure what it will bring. i just hope that the sun shines alittle bit more on all of us. God Bless Lori

Annie I am glad that you were able to tell all of us. we are all here for you. you have nothing to be ashamed about. i am sorry that you have to go through all this, but am so happy that you found forgiveness in your heart for your dad. it would only make you sick to carry about all that anger inside of you. we all have secrets and i have mine which i have shared here. it is a great group of people and we are all here to listen and help in anyway that we can. Lori

I am so sorry Bob for your loss. please keep coming back here and write your feelings. it helps to talk. we all understand. Lori

Chrissy You are a strong women!!! You are not a loser, you are just having a hard time. that is normal and expected. You are important to alot of people and you have alot to accomplish here still. i will be praying for you. Lori

Lindsey I understand i miss my mom also and it will be 8mos. your mom sounds like a wonderful women who loved both of you so much. Remenber that always. she is always with you. take one moment at a time. God Bless Lori

Paul your sister sounds as bad as my two. it is amazing what happens to families. Jeff I kept alot of my moms stuff and my sibling took what they wanted. i kept some special clothes, a special set of china and alot of other stuff. for me it is hard to get rid of anything. however she had downsized when she moved into her assisted living and then when she moved in with me it went in storage. i think everyone is different and you will know when it is right. Lori

Jane I have learned life is to short. just maybe put up with him, there will be a time you won'thave him and then it will bother you. i know it is hard but he is old and set in his ways. maybe he is so lonely and depressed that is why he is acting this way. he probably misses your mom and the companionship. try to have as much patience with him as you can. Lori

Derek I am not at the one yr mark, not til july for me. I will pray for you that God will give you the strength and guidance that you will need in the coming months. God Bless Lori

I am so sorry for your loss. i lost my mom in july and the pain is terrible. just want you to know everything you are feeling is normal and i have felt that and at times still do. take care of yourself you have your baby to worry about. take one day at a time. God Bless Lori

Lindsey I lost my mom in july of 06 and still feel so sad. somedays i still think i will see her again. it is so hard. take one day at a time. this is a hard roller coaster to be on, hold on. Peace Lori

I have my mom and dad at home with me. however being catholic i need to place them somewhere. i am having a hard time. i meet with my priest every week for spirtual guidance and it really helps me alot. i believe firmly in my faith so i know that i must do this. her ashes can never be divided or scattered it is against the catholic teaching. i have to look for a place . i am hoping that maybe by doing this act of love my siblings will come around and maybe we can have some kind of relationship. maybe not but it will also have them a place to go. i realize that it maybe selfish of me to keep her only with me. she asked to come home with me so this is my problem. i feel like i am breaking a promise to her. she was catholic and believed very firmly in her faith. i should of reminded her that i needed to place her some place and then she would of told me ok. now i feel like i am betraying her. my mind tells me she would want to be someplace where all her children can go and my heart wants to keep the promise. i am working on this hopefully by the spring i can find a beautiful collabrium for her. say a prayer for me. Lori

Derek I am so happy to hear from you, i was getting worried. i am so happy that you want to live life again. that is what Karen would want and you have Carson. I pray that God continues you to help you on this journey. you are always in my prayers as is everyone on this site. God Bless Lori

I love all of his songs and have his cd's . i have been unable to listen to them since mom died. i just can't . the tears come and i feel sad. for me music does not give me comfort just makes me saddier. crazy?? i try to avoid anything that will make me upset. i wish i could listen to it again. i really love him. Lori

Sounds wonderful. What a great idea. what kind of candle do you put in it? thanks for sharing. Lori

I have felt that way. for me it go real bad around the holidays i thought i was losing my mind. finally in jan i broke down and started meds, for me they have helped. i still feel lost but i am slowing working on it. i meet for therapy every week w/my therapist and also every week w/my priest. i take one day at a time. Peace Lori

Maylissa What a beautiful boy. he is so handsome. time does go so fast. i lost my wonderful Spanky (our dog) in sept and still can not believe he is gone. he was another child to me and i loved him that way. you were a great mom to him!!! love and peace Lori

thanks Paul for some great advice. sometimes it is so hard to see how far we have come we want to stay in the pain b/c it keeps us closer to our loved ones. thanks again. Lori

The main thing for me was someone to listen to me talk. not just tell me i will be ok, you have to go on and your mom is in a better place. the people that just let me cry and talk honestly meant the most to me. the food helped alot but that only came the first week, i could of used it the 4th week when i was really low. just always be there for him. lori

So happy you had a good time, you needed to get away. Disney is a great place to be can't help but be happy and smile. the weather here in jersey is cold and yucky. glad that you are safe and home. Lori

No need for a apology. we are all friends here and always will be. Lori