shalady

I know how difficult these days can be. A vacation at home sounds like a good thing. As Faye said just spending time playing with the dogs and doing whatever makes you feel good. I find music is the best for me. I also got the journal to write down my feelings. I hope you will be able to get some much needed rest and try to relax. I find I do feel better when I accomplish things such as cleaning out a cabinet or drawer. I hope you find some comfort in whatever you do. Just remember to take care of yourself. Shalady

We will never stop missing them. I have a picture of Bob and Zach, it is next to his ashes. Sometimes I look at it and smile, other time it makes me cry. I don't try to figure it out anymore. I just take one day at a time. I will say I think crying is a good thing, a release that is needed. What I wouldn't give to hear his voice, hold his hand, have a hug. See, I'm crying again. Just remember we will always have that love in our hearts. That can never be taken away. You are in my thoughts and prayers. ***Hugs*** Shalady

Thank you all. I'll get started. Shalady

I am so glad you are making plans for a counselor. That should help a lot. The fact that you have such great support at work must be so comforting. I agree, it is very exhausting to control your emotions for the day. I would like to keep a journal. I guess you just write when you feel like. It sounds silly that I don't know how to keep a journal, but I never did it. I read here all the time about others here doing it. I have to look into it. I wish you much peace and comfort. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Shalady

Karen, I hope you begin to feel better soon. I agree that you have been through so much continued stressful and painful events. I hope you are able to get some rest and find some comfort. Sending you big hugs. Shalady

Harry, what wonderful news. It is so gratifying when all your hard work is appreciated and honored. I know you must be very happy. I hope the weather starts to calm down up there so you can go out and celebrate with friends. Shalady

I am so sorry for the loss of your husband Mark. My heart goes out to you not only for your loss but the trauma you suffered with the loss. You may not think so right now but it shows to me tremendous strength. I think we get that strength from the love we share with our spouse. I lost much of my strength when I lost my husband Bob this past September. He was my rock, my best friend and the true love of my life. As others have expressed here, it will get easier with time. I look forward to that. It is not easy for me yet. The hardest times are just the simple things, sitting at the table for a meal, sitting outside, going grocery shopping. All little things we always did that I now do alone. I have a dog and like many of us here, he is a great comfort. He is by my side at all times. He was my husband's service dog. I find it easier to still take one day at a time and not look ahead yet. I am glad you have found this place to come. Sharing helps me, the people here are very comforting and generous to others. It is also validating to read what others are experiencing. I hope you find peace and comfort here. I am so glad you have the special desk your husband made for you that first Christmas. What a precious gift to have. Please take good care of yourself. ***Hugs*** Shalady

Marty, I don't know about you but my Florida weather, although grateful not to be in snow, is not the best. It is cool and rainy, Thursday high is 46. Weeks of unusually cold temps. Still, I'll take it. Shalady

I know how hard it is to have to constantly keep up with the snow. I have a house in the Catskill mountains in NY. We get snow by the feet all the time. We have had six and even seven feet in one snowfall. It is not fun. The driveway is 400 feet long. My husband had a plow truck and got stuck many times. He would plow and I would shovel. Be careful and pace yourself. I hope it slows down for you. Shalady

QMary, I am glad you had a good memory. I love the picture. Our animals mean so much to us, and the picture says it all. Shalady

So sorry Karen. I know firsthand how hard that is. You did the best for your little one so there is no suffering. You are all in my prayers. Shalady

Sounds like a nice day. She is just lovely. Shalady

Oh my. I have no words. Thank you Kay for letting us know. I will pray for all of them. Shalady

Jason, I am so sorry for the loss of your wife. I know the pain and devastation you are feeling. In my case I have no small children so I deeply am sorry for them as well. I hope you have family close by to help you. You have found this place and I hope you will come here as you can and hopefully find some comfort, as I have. Everyone is here for the same reason, just as you are. I visit here all the time, sometimes to just read posts and then to post when I can. I lost my husband of 38 years this past September. I am still lost and devastated. We don't bounce back quickly from this loss of our life partner, best friend and love of our life. It takes time. Everyone says the same thing, they have been through this and they are doing better. I believe them, they are the proof, if they are making it through I will as well. It is too soon for you to think so far ahead. Someone more experienced here will help you with sound advice, I can only offer my support to you. Try to take just one day or one hour at a time. I wish you much peace and comfort. You and your family are in my prayers. Shalady

Beautiful Harry.

Hope Kelbi does well at vet. I too have had dogs, not cats, with tumors. They never amounted to any problem and hope this is the case here. Hope Arlie is feeling better today. Happy birthday Arlie. Shalimar

That's great you know where it is. He may have just been running and hit a stone or something. You probably would see if it had a cut on it. Quiet days can be good, even for dogs. Feel better soon Arlie. Shalady

I am so sorry for the sudden loss of your fiancé. Marty and Kay have given you some very helpful links and advice. I can only add that I will be here for you with others here. I lost my husband four months ago and sometimes I am still in a fog so I know how you feel. I think Kay's idea of having your own memorial would be such a nice way for you to honor him. I hope you think about it. I wish you peace and comfort. Shalady

I'm glad he is walking on it. That is a good sign. Your keeping him in quiet mode will be good. I am sure you will have a good birthday for him. Hope he continues to improve. Shalady

I am sorry you are having such a hard time. I understand your feelings of despair at his not coming back. My husband is gone for months. I talk to him every day. I still can't believe my best friend, my true love is gone. It makes my stomach sick, my heart ache. I look at his picture and see him smiling and want to hear his voice just one more time. It is so hard. I hope you are able to find some peace and comfort. ***hugs*** Shalady

It makes sense to me too. I can look at some things and others I have to put away. I also do the same thing, it's out, then I have to put it away, and repeat that process. I have started an entire small closet for items like that. I go there when I can. The memory bears reside on the top shelf, atop his favorite blanket with a deer scene on it. It brings me to tears right now just talking about it. At the same time it brings me comfort. So you see Butch, it is our love and emotions and we feel what we feel and that is ok. I loved my Bob so much it makes me miss him tremendously. I talk to him everyday. We don't have to be in a rush to do anything. You don't have to wash the pillowcases or move anything. Do what you can do and take care of you. I hope you find some peace and comfort. You are in my prayers. Shalady

Our pets are just like our children. Could he have injured the pad of his foot? Sometimes it is hard to see. The pads are so vulnerable, especially when they run around playing, stepping on something sharp can injure it. I remember once a dog of ours did that. My husband actually found a little burr embedded between two of the pads I hope the bed rest helps and he is feeling better for his birthday. Our first black lab we ever had was named Shalimar and her birthday was February 14. She was a sweet girl. Wishing Arlie well. Shalady

Karen, I am so sorry. I will be praying for you and especially for your grandson. Shalady

Thank you ladies. I will look for it to read. Shalady

Thank you Kay and Fae. Yes it is such a relief. I was worried I would need surgery. I think this is an indication I will not. I did not know about Marty's health problems but I am fairly new here. She certainly has had her share of challenges. I don't think it was as great a challenge for us when we had our spouses with us. We faced things together and helped each other so it was much easier. When we are alone and grieving we already have so much to bear so every problem seems multiplied. Yes Fae I am lucky to have a few friends that are helping me with shopping, driving me to appointments and helping walk my dog. I will have to treat them to dinner although I think they know how grateful I am for their help. I feel much care and comfort from my friends around the fire here and am grateful as well. Thank you for the support you give all of us here. Peace and comfort to you. Shalady