Marie Lee

AB ..such a lovely sentiment ...falling in love is inevitable...embrace your love, it's a beautiful thing... Marie

I have thought about pppd funeral, but ...not sure where my feet will land what I pass..so, I decided against it for now. It is an awful mess to deal with when your heart is broken though.... Salt to a wound really... Still Struggling like everyone...Marie

Oh Autumn, My heart goes out to you...to us all...much love, Marie

Yea, we didn't get that change of address notification...did we? I think writing a letter is an excellent idea.... Seaching for the right words, Marie

I think our loved ones know very much how much we loved them and are as thankful as we are that we had each other...and all the imperfections of life...all the what ifs will remain in our heart forever as we would give anything to change it all if we could.. But, we can not...so...somehow we must find a way to move forward. Planning on being productive today to get my mind off things ..,if only for a moment.....Peace, Marie

Dreams are mysterious aren't they? In one aspect it's as if your mind is trying to process events..in another aspect it's as if there are elements of spiritual insights ...premonition and relationships. At the beginning Kev was always alive in my dreams as if life was continuing our 30 year journey...now it's a mixture of him alive and him being passed. I guess my mind is trying to process reality and hope. I have dated and texted some men...the friendship is nice and I enjoy feeling like a woman again...but it is not anything close to my love ..life and experience with my love of my youth..my life..our imperfections meshed and helping each other navigate.. That unfailing commitment ... I know I was lucky and cherish the memories very much. The kids have introduced me to game of thrones...Kev loved the Viking mindset and honestly had a warrior heart. The show has made me think of him so much....I especially love the wedding ceremony where the lord cover his lady with his cloak...his cloak of protection ...I miss Kev's cloak of protection very much. Humming dreams by Fleetwood Mac now ...Marie

It's amazing what is charged...I paid a great deal...thankfully life insurance covered it...and he got the military funeral with honors that he deserved... We even had VA bennies and he was buried at a VA cemetery. I don't mind paying a fair price for a fair service, but they get you...that's for sure. I was so out of it...the kids took care of all arrangements and I am eternally grateful they did and I had the funds to cover it. Marita, I am glad your friend helped you in your time of need.... Peace to all on this painful journey ...

Oh my goodness Kay...what a tragic accident for you and most especially your sister...no words, just love...Marie

Numb and lost....so very sorry for your experience and the images you have running through your mind. My Kev died right beside me in our car accident....I was unconscious so I didn't know for a few hrs... I can only hope the experience for him was similar to my being knocked out. Quick and peaceful. Its hard for me to fathom it all... There were many days I would gladly have joined him ...survivors guilt plagues me if I allow it to. I greet with you a hug. Glad you found this refuge ...peace, Marie

Yes, it does ....

...And the sky is grey....on such a winter's day.... humming along, Marie

The never ending what if game...A game I am sure to lose.... No answers here, Marie....

I don't always count everyday....but I always look at the time span for the day of each month that is commemorated...the 12 th.. Today is a grey, dreary day...and I am appropriately sad along with it. Was reading the attorney's notes last night...and of course it's all at the forefront of my mind again... The never ending sad realization that Kev is gone and I am here alone....even though I have fam and frds....I don't have my partner...yes, very sad indeed. I want to bury my head in the covers today... I have been playing some online games that are good at keeping my mind a bit preoccupied.... Wishing the sadness away doesn't do any good...just have to get through one day at a time... Maybe the Super Bowl tomorrow will help take my mind off of this for a few... Go Falcons? Marie

No judgement here for anyone...Peace

AB....That sucks.....pls don't give up on yourself or your journey. There are many ways to heal...and time seems to be the best component. I took a short trip to the beach and spa...got a massage ...pampered myself some and cried myself to sleep. It helped. My current journey seems to be getting back in touch with things I loved that Kev didn't necessarily....The beach is one of those things... The healing journey continues....and will probably last for the rest of my life...but at least I feel like I am making some progress... Back to life? Who knows....? I sure don't.....here's to not knowing..Marie

Hang in there Darrel...we never know what lies around the bend..good or bad. There is a certain randomness to life...and people make a difference in each other's lives. Prayers for peace, Marie

Darrel, I hope you stay ... Our cozy circle is not the same without you.. Hugs, Marie

Yes AB it's very common unfortunately ..Darrel, love the rainbow and lollipop analogy lol!

So true Marg...one is the loneliest number....wasn't that a song by three dog night?

Hello there! Marita...I definitely relate. Had some girl time this weekend...but, everywhere we went reminded me of Kev. The last time I went to all the places was with him...couples snuggled up on the tram....the list goes on... I didn't say a whole lot to the ladies about it, I don't want to be the Debbie Downer...but my mind and my heart were filled with the thoughts and memories ...trying to create new memories to have happy thoughts again....maybe one day it will happen. Cheers, Marie

This reminds me of the song that goes it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah ...my friend played that today.. This the friend that we had spent the weekend in SC with...the friend that waited in Savannah...trekked back to the hospitals.. First time I went to their house since Kev passed...Hallelujah ....hallelujah ..it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah .... Shes a wonderful hostes..we had a fun girl weekend ..... but still there is this cold and broken hallelujah ...going on inside...my head and heart... Still Humming... Marie

Darrel...I so miss Kev's smell...his getting out of the shower all clean and soapy smell..many many things ...hugs... Marie

Hi AB...I was a strong opposer to meds for depression for years... Then I figured out maybe I do need help...I did a lot of changing in my life...one was a mild dose of Zoloft...but that was before I lost Kev...I am still on same dosage...it has helped me, yes. Dont be afraid of meds, if you need them. Be careful as everyone has said. Take care, Marie

Beautiful..

Love the pic ! Hi guys! Hats off to following a dream... Flying must be a wonderful feeling of freedom and adrenaline. I think this what our late spouses would want most for us..to follow a dream. Keep us posted on this new adventure! what a day for a daydream ...thinking of the clouds, Marie