Marie Lee

Thanks George..true, he is with me in my heart...

Dear AB, It's so good to hear from you. I have been wondering how you were. Please be gentle with yourself. I had dinner with some girl friends last night...one is battling cancer ...we talked about the loneliness and emptiness we each had from our experiences...it resonated with me to hear my friends journey and similar battles with the isolation that has resulted. Still, I get up every morning and continue plodding through.... I miss Kev so very much....I encourage all my friends in relationships to love each other dearly and tenderly.. There is so much we take for granted ....and so much we miss.....when we lose our partner and it's just us.... As a side note and maybe a funny one, I started online dating and the amount of frauds has been mind blowing for me...I am beginning to think it's because I am a widow and I may just deactivate it and forget about it....I research and am cautious ..it appears to have become a money game for the companies and loaded with frauds. I got off track, but thought you might get a chuckle ..I even had one on Facebook.....shaking my head... Social graces are so different today....how does a woman like me figure out this new life? I am lost too AB.... Brad and George are so thoughtful and helpful...I think Brad was the first one to greet me when I arrived back in the Fall. March 12 will be 9 months for me....I don't sleep as much, I am more cognitive, I think lol. I am still lonely..I still miss Kev, My heart is still shattered in pieces on the ground .... I plan things...clean house and try to watch tv..not much good on there anymore ..... How do I live without you?.. Plays in my mind over and over.... I love you all that are in this boat with me....maybe it's a ship of fools lol ....just kidding had to lighten up this somehow ... Hugs, AB.... Marie

Hi Gin, Karen, thanks..glad all is well...Yes Kay, you are very right about feelings..thanks :-) Herc, so beautiful. Tks for posting...

It is well with my soul is so beautiful...I wish I felt that way today. I miss Kev ...I would rather be with him then deal with the pain of living...on days like this particularly ....Peace, Marie

So today kind of sucked lol...the navy base is where I go for doc appts...and all I could do was think of Kev today.... Cranked up the stereo talked with friends, fam and it still sucked..no other way to put it. Not finding much of s positive outlook today, Marie

Hi all, gdragon33...no judgement here...I am still navigating this loss...hope you find some peace...it must be hard with young children.... today I woke up ful,of anxieties...haven't done that in a while....I have been trying to keep busy, but my heart is just broke, shattered on the ground in tiny little pieces...it's hard to talk to people about as no one really wants to hear it and they have no answers and all,are struggling with their own grief, sets of problems, etc... I have to get ready for a doc appt..at least the weather is nice. A great day to crank up,the stereo , open the sun roof and rock out. It helps...cheers all? Still trying to get through each day, Marie

Hello Herc, Thanks for sharing your insight...so,sorry for your loss.... Marg you said it ..flopping around with half of me, yep..still flopping around with half of me...I have to continually remind myself of what really matters and seek some sort of peace within and some sense of love ...comfort ..forgiveness...joy...peace...all of Gods characteristics that I fail so miserably at. Peace to all...let me go flop around to my doc appt this afternoon ...Marie

Thanks Marty and Numb and lost

You're most welcome ...sorry you are in this boat of grief with us all...myself, I am trying to figure out how to live again. Was just listening to Joni Mitchell's " Both sides now" wish I knew how to attach the link on here...

Love you Gwen....wished I lived nearby, we could visit...hope you feel better soon. Marie

Numb and lost, it's ok to rattle on here, we are all in pain over loss...and get it.

I don't think we pick who our heart loves...hugs Genia...

Martha Jean.. hope you are feeling better, you too Gwen ..you are all so right...another thing to miss about being alone...someone to share it all with....Hugs, Marie

It's so damn hard isn't it? The loneliness and emptiness ...I am trying to get myself busy....but it keeps hitting me... Everybody has an opinion for sure.... Shaking my head...Marie

I don't know what to say Martha Jane....I agree with the other comments...glad we have this space to talk..as the rest of the world doesn't get it..but eventually we all experience loss.... So then I try to savor the loved ones I have and live in the moment.... And then reality takes over...that he's gone...and I am on my own... I liked being married. I don't like being a third wheel.... But I digress... Hang in there Martha, he loved you. Hugs, Marie

Marge, You can check out anytime you like, but you can't never leave....so true for grief... I will never listen to that song the same anymore...

I am a talker so I tell the how I am doing....I have learned to not talk so much though...

I am so very sorry for everyone's pain here.... How do you mend a broken heart? Marie

Aww thanks Cookie...yesterday was a tough day...luckily I got out of the house and talked with a friend so that helped..

Awesome to hear beachjow :-)

So true Kay...no sense in setting ourselves up ..so true...

Hugs Marg..all I can manage today..glad she is safe.

Well earlier I was trying very hard to be positive and productive ..I am failing miserably lol... another step backwards...Er, make that several steps lol...Marie

Today just feels like the blues are never going to go away and this aching hollow in my heart.... not so positive or sunny today....Marie

Hi Kay....I am trying to deal with my pain by helping others somehow.....Tks... Today is particularly painful...but, maybe that's a new norm too...lol Marie