AnnieO

Lori, Happy Birthday. I hope you have a nice day. I am sure your mom is with you.

Thank you all for sharing your memories. I love reading about everyone and find myself smiling while I read the posts. No wonder we miss our loved ones so,so much..they are all wonderful, loving people. We are all blessed to have had them in our lives and to be loved by them. I like having a pictue in my head what each person was like. Jason in the Navy and camping. George with the drippy cones and waiting to have fun on the week-ends. Christophe, ping-pong and Willie E.Coyote...what fun memories.Thank you for making me smile.

Patti, Thank you for sharing things about Charlie. I laughed out loud when you described his laugh. I got the feeling that he lived life to the fullest! Doing things that other people just talk about..rock climbing, moutain climbing,snowboarding and owning a Harley! Sounds like there was never a dull moment when he was with you. Thank you.

Just the other day a friend I have met thru this website, asked me what my mom was like. It felt so wonderful to tell someone about my mom. Not her illness or death, but what kind of person she was.When I started to write, I thought of so many things I wanted to say. I just made it simple and it felt so great. I wondered if anyone here on the site would like to do the same(maybe this had been done before) It made me so happy and I would love to hear about your loved one. Happy memories of my mom are: It was so easy to make her laugh. She was my best friend. She made the best choc.chip and sugar cookies in the world. She loved family parties.She and I would take on a project with no experience, like hanging wallpaper, we once pulled up carpet and put down new carpet...we didnt know how we were going to get the carpet roll up into the house. We used my son's little red wagon, about half way up the hill to our door, we got laughing and lost control of the wagon, it went rolling down the street. We were laying in the yard, laughing, it took us forever to get it back in the house.She loved to come to my house,sit on the front porch and watch the horses. She loved Xmas. She collected small, glass Xmas trees and Santas. She would play games with her grandchildren for hours.She didn't care about cars, but one day went to the dealership and bought a PT Cruiser without ever having seen one in real life!She thought they were "cute". She was on a waiting list for a year for it and loved it. My friends often said, they wished she was their mom.When she was in a room it was filled with laughter and love. Thanks for listening

Jane, It made me feel so bad for you when I read your post. Someone that you thought was a good friend, tells you not to bring your dog around, wants you to go off your meds so you can drink. And isn't "ready to go down that road" with you, doesn't seem like someone you need in your life right now. I have a relative in my life that is being very hurtful to me and I have decided I don't need that right now and that she feels toxic to me. This person in my life is not the person I thought she was and when I needed understanding and compassion, she offered cold,insensitive, hurtful advice.."in my best interest"...maybe you should just take some time away from this person. You need positive, caring people around you right now..especially your dog! Take care.

Linda, I know how you feel when you think you cannot offer anything positive or helpful on this site. I feel the same way, but I know that the friends we have made here on the website do not feel we are selfish. I feel like I am always telling everyone my story and sadness and asking for help, but so often don't feel like I can offer any comfort. Maybe it's just because we are new to all of this..I know in time you and I both will be in a place when a new person signs on to this website, we will be able to help. We will be able to offer the same healing we get, from all of our friends here. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Hello, I am enjoying my last few days on the beach, although knowing what next week will bring, I am really dreading going home. My dad is quickly going downhill, they have moved him out of the therapy wing of the nursing home and have quit all therapy. They have told us it is time to get hospice involved. We are going to start getting my parents house ready to sell next week. I have lots of wonderful people coming to help, but I still can't imagine how hard this will be. We will need to sell their cars too. The one good thing out of this is my brother will be helping me. He was in such denial during my mom's illness/death, he was never here to help. He has taken a leave from his job and will come over and stay with us and help with the house and my dad.I had hoped we would have more time with selling the house, but as we get more and more into my dad's financial things, it is now necessary to do. I have felt guilty being gone from my dad so long, but I really needed to come here and have time to myself to grieve my mom. I feel a little stronger now and hopefully I can get thru the next week. As always, thanks for listening. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

I agree with Lorikelly,I haven't met any of you, but think of you as friends. You have helped me thru some of the hardest days in my life, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers daily and you are not alone.

Thank you for sharing the pictures of Montoya. What a beautiful dog.

I am so sorry. I know how hard this will be. My Bernese Mountain dog also had a tumor on his spleen but then we discovered it had spread to his liver too. Sounds similar to your dog. Your plan to take her somewhere special and beautiful to let her go is such a nice idea. My thoughts will be with all of you.

Janine You have always said such wonderful things to me and have helped me so much. I wish I had the right thing to say to you. So I guess I will just send you a hug and let you know you are in my thoughts. I too, cannot remember my meds. I have Lupus and take meds and have to give myself an injection once a week. I have signs on my mirror, signs on my fridge and now have my 80 yr old aunt calling me every Wed to remind me. And still with all of that, it's not always a sure thing. My mom used to call me too. I hope you have a peaceful night.

Steve, Just wanted to let you know, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I lost my 8 yr old Bernese Mountain dog Dec.7th, the same day I lost my mom. It feels like I lost my 2 best friends. Then on Mar.8th, I had to put my old Golden Ret to sleep. It was long over-due, but we just couldn't part with another loved one. I am lucky, I still have a 2 yr old Gordon Setter at home, I feel sad for him, he keeps looking around for his buddies. I will keep your dog in my prayers and hope for good news. Take Care.

Hello, Well, I did it...I watched a sunset! Yesterday was my mom's birthday. I was with my friend, who lost her mom 18 months ago. Both our moms loved a nice glass of wine and sunsets, so we took our wine down to the beach and watched the sunset and toasted our moms. It was so hard and emotional. I was so glad she was with me. Today, I woke up and felt better than I have in months. I had so many calls yesterday from family members, all wanting to remember my mom on her birthday. On a day I thought I would feel so alone, I was surrounded by my mom and all the people who loved her. I hope everyone has a good day today.

Janine, I am so sorry to hear of your grandmother's death. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Hello, I decided to go along with my family's wishes and come down to Florida.Everyone thinks "it is just what I need" My entire family has been coming to this same beach for 21 years. This is the first time down here without my mom and dad. It's my daughter's college break so its just the 2 of us. Which is wonderful, but it's so much harder being here than I thought it would be. Everything reminds me of my mom and that she isn't here with me. Her favorite part of each day was sunset. We all had to come to their condo(didn't matter what you were doing) we would watch the sun go down together and then everyone clapped. After 21 years of this, we all took if for granted and just went along with it for my mom's sake. The grandchildren loved it! Now, that I am here, I cannot watch the sunset.when I see it's getting close, I almost panic, trying to keep from seeing it. I keep thinking I will find comfort in being here. So far, it's just so painful. My daughter leaves on Sunday and a college friend is coming to stay for 3 days. I haven't seen her in 6 years, she just lost her mom last year, so I hope we aren't a couple of sad sacks sitting on the beach. Then my husband and son and his friends are coming down. I feel guilty being away from my dad, but I really needed some time away from him. Thanks for listening.

Danslady, I am so sorry, I was shocked when I read your post. I had been thinking about you the last few days. I know the pain and sadness is overwhelming. I put my dog to sleep a few days ago.(Murphy) I also had to put another dog to sleep the night my mom died Dec 06(Ripley). I stayed with Murhpy while they put him to sleep and the last thing I said was " now, you can go find Ripley" They had been inseperable for 8 years. I like to think you two cats have found eachother once again. U am so sorry for your pain. You are in my thoughts.

Hello, I have been checking too and its been pretty quiet here. I haven't posted much, since all I have is sad news. I put our old Golden Ret to sleep yesterday and last night my dad was rushed from the nursing home to the hospital. Another high fever and infection. I am shocked that the day my mom died, I had to put a dog to sleep and the day I put my other dog to sleep, my dad gets worse. My husband went to sit with my dad last night. I just couldn't do it my husband told me to stay home and rest. I haven't been able to make myself go this morning either. It's so hard to have just watched my mom go thru this for 2 yrs and now I have to go thru it again. It's all the same things, fevers,infections, confusion, dementia...etc. I thought I had control over my anger at my dad, but the last few days have been really tough. I am SO angry. And I know this is horrible to say, but I just want it to be over. My dad has no quality of life what so ever and it will only get worse.Iam just so tired. Everyone is in my thoughts and hope you are having a good day.

Yellowballoon, Thank you for sharing your diary with us. The things you have written told of the beautiful relationship you had with your mom and dad. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom Dec 06 and my father is terminally ill (I am currently sitting in the emergency room at the hospital , he was rushed here this afternoon)My mom was my best friend and I miss her so much. My dad and I were never close, we got along okay, but I never felt important to him. So, it was so touching to read about your relationship with your dad. You were very lucky to have such wonderful parents and they will always be with you. Thank you for sharing your story.

Hello, I am so sorry to hear about Katie. Do you have someone that will be with you when you take Katie in? You need someone with you. I know how hard this is. I lost my mom Dec.06 and that same night I had to put my best dog friend in the world to sleep. It was a total shock, we didn't realize he was so sick. And now tomorrow we are putting our old Golden Ret to sleep. This needed to be done months ago, but after losing my mom and my buddy Ripley, I just couldn't do it. I know the next few days are going to be sooo hard for both of us. You and Katie will be in my thoughts.

Laura, I am so glad you found this site. You will find wonderful, helpful, caring people here. This site has helped me so much. I lost my mom Dec 06 and just finished reading a great book..Motherless Daughters-The legacy of Loss. It's by Hope Edelman. Keep coming back. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Hello, Once again, I found help from all of you. I had such a hard,hard day.. We got over 2 ft of snow. The only way I could get to the barn to feed horses was by snowmobile. Even with that, I got stuck in a drift. I dug and dug , lifted it inch by inch. Then when I got it dug out, it wouldn't start. I got out my cell phone to call home, it was dead. I tried once more to get it started and the cord wrapped around my hand and I think I broke 2 fingers. Okay, the reason I am telling you all of this is..at that point where I hurt my hand, I lost it. I layed down in the snow and sobbed and sobbed. It had nothing to do with the snow and getting stuck etc..it was all about my mom and how much I miss her. It was like something broke inside and I was finally able to let it all out. I cried for so long, I was exhausted..I still am , hours later. I started looking at old posts and found so many about the 3 month period and how it suddenly seemed so hard again for many of you. It will be 3 months next week. It helped to know that having such a hard time right now is something many of you have experienced. Now, I can almost laugh when I think about this morning and if someone would have stumbled across me, they would have thought I had been in a terrible snowmobile accident! Thanks for listening.

Peg, I am so sorry about Willy. I enjoyed seeing the pictures, he was beautiful. I wanted to share a cat story with you. On Dec.7th 2006 I lost my mom and that very same night I had to put my dog to sleep. It feels like I lost my 2 best friends in the same night. I have 2 barn cats, one is so loving and loves to cuddle. I have always been a dog person...until lately. When I am really sad and struggling thru the day, I often drive down to my barn, call the cat and out he comes, hops in my car and we just hang out. I don't know alot about cat behavior, but I think he is really happy sitting in the car with me! He purrs and purrs, rubs under my chin, and lays up around my neck. I find so much comfort in being with him! I am so sorry you had to put Willy to sleep, I know how hard this is. Just thought you might like to hear from a "new cat lover".....I will keep you in my thoughts.

Kayc I am now discovering financial "mysteries" from my dad's secret life. So many unexplained bills, loans etc...I have been checking on his house and checked the answering machine...big mistake.People calling, that I don't know who they are, saying strange things. I am obsessing about finding out more about my dad's life. who are these people? Where did the money go? I haven't done anything yet, I know that if I start looking, this will take on a life of it's own. I don't want to be consumed by this. But, I don't know how to let go of this. Thanks for listening.

Kayc Thank you for your post. I know our situations are different, but your understanding, makes me realize they are also the same in some ways. You said so many important things, I had lost sight that the love I had for my dad was real, and I know he hurt all of us, but had not thought about the diappointment part of it. I am trying so hard to forgive and to keep in mind that he is human and although he has made decisions in his life that caused so much pain, I also believe he didn't make those decisions with any of us in mind, or that he ever thought this would all come back and cause the pain it has. I hope it's okay to ask you a question, if not, no problem. Did your husband know, that you knew what was going on when he died? My dad still keeps up the lies...I often wonder if I should confront him with what I know. But, what purpose would that really serve? Thank you so much, you gave me lots of things to think about and lots of hope.

Dear Daddylivesforever, I am so glad you found this website. Marty and everyone here are so kind and caring. Your dad must have been a wonderful father and friend. I lost my mom Dec 06, she too, was my best friend. I know it's hard to lose a parent but then we lost our best friends too. I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Keep coming back here, it really does help.