WendyJ

Hello my friends, hope all is as well as possible with everyone. Please join me in sending your love and best wishes to Derek as today would have been his 14th wedding anniversary with Karen. He is away in Colorado right now on a ski trip with his family and has limited internet access, so he will get your messages when he returns this weekend. Derek my thoughts and prayers are with you today and always, you got me through my 2 year anniversary of losing Steve and I will be here for you too in any way I can today if you need me. You are so special to me and I appreciate you very much and hope today you can think of the good memories you have of Karen. Love Always, Wendy

Kathy this touched me beyond belief and I cried my eyes out too at the same line that Marty did . Thanks so much for sharing this. Love Always, Wendy

Phyllis, First let me give you a (((HUG))) and tell you I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. I am usually the first one to tell people not to take it to heart when people say stupid things to a widow/widower as they usually mean well but have never been in our shoes and do not know what to say but know they should say something. Many of us were probably one of those people in the past hoping to say the right thing and really caring but saying something stupid and not even realize it. But I have no defense for someone who says to snap out of it, I would like to snap them out of it ! Please for now, take each day at a time, do not look ahead yet, heck I am in my third year now and I can't even think ahead and am still taking one day at a time. I have had a rough couple years experiencing a few losses and I have to tell you I almost gave up a couple times. You are going to be fine one minute and crying the next, you will even have a couple days in the near future where you will think you are doing pretty good and then the next you are a mess. Yes you will cry in public, you will cry at work and you will have to pull your car off the road even at times. All I can tell you for now is to keep coming here and spill your guts as you will not say anything or be feeling anything that we haven't and we will be here to pull you through every step of the way. Love always, Wendy

Jeanne, You are just too sweet, thank you. Well the anticipation was worse than the actual day like many people told me but now that I have gotten past it I am starting to feel it now, nothing tragic just starting to feel sad and tired, but I am sure this will not last too long, gosh I hope not. Love You, Wendy

Thanks so much Mike, you are such a dear friend to me. Love Always, Wendy

Becka my thoughts and prayers are with you today with it being your two year mark. Let friends and family help you through the day that is what helped me the most. Take care of yourself. Love Always, Wendy

My dear friends thank you so much for all your love and support today, I just can't believe it has been two years. The support from this group has always been so dear to me. I slept alot today, not sure why I was so tired, more so than usual but I do think it helped me some. Thanks so much again and I love you all . Love Always, Wendy

Jan I am sorry I am a day late to read this but my thoughts and prayers are with you today and always. Please do something special for yourself in remembrance of Dale. Love Always, Wendy

Corinne thank you so much for remembering and posting this for me, you are such a dear friend. I want to do something special tomorrow for Steve but I don't know what to do or even what I will be up to doing. I have his ashes here at home with me so it is not like I will be going to the cemetary. I can't believe it has been two years already for us too, and it was 2 years for William on the 3rd. It was alittle hard for him but he made it through it okay. Thanks so much for your caring and support, you are a true friend. Love Always, Wendy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uIQp9Dqcrw

Kath did you write this, it is wonderful and made me cry...I find it so ironic that I read this and for me it is 2 yrs tomorrow. this was so fitting for me to read this now, thanks for posting this, so beautiful, so touching....... Love Always, Wendy

Corinne my dear friend I just wanted you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you today on what would have been a special anniversary. You have been such a good friend to me and I value our friendship so very much, please do something special today with the girls and know that I am here for you if you want or need to talk. Love Always, Wendy

Laura I am so sorry for the loss of your Mom and I am also sorry you feel nobody but Kath was here for you. Alot of people don't look in this section I have found in the past, I know if you had posted in in Loss of Parent or Grandparent you without a doubt would have gotten immediate responses. I do not post in that section but just wanted to give you that information and send you a big (((HUG))) and tell you this is a very special and caring group and please post in that section and give us another try okay? We are a very special family here and welcome you with open arms and I myself understood everything you said and have been there myself. Love Always, Wendy

Kath, I want you to think of one thing....who doesn't cry at weddings ? I do not think if you cry you are going to be the only one. What I would do is tell everyone you will be sitting toward the back of the church in case you have to excuse yourself. During the reception I would just play it by ear on how you feel, have something nice to eat, have a drink or two and toast secretly to your husband and if you want to leave early well then you go right ahead. We are all adults and I think we have to all start doing what is best for us and stop worrying about what other people will think, so unless I am selected to stay home with my Grandmother I will also go to my cousins wedding, do the best I can and if I have to I will do what I have to do. I am glad you brought this up as it is getting to that time of year when alot of us will be going to weddings and this helped me to decide what I will do, let us know what you decide and good luck to you ! Love Always, Wendy

Mary Linda I want to wish you a very Happy Birthday! I hope you have a wonderful day and you do something special just for yourself ! Love Always, Wendy

Thanks so much my friends for your prayers and Derek you know that special thanks go out to you for posting this. Last summer my Moms tests came up cancer free but it quickly came back in the fall, well she has been having maintenance treatments since then and just this morning I am happy to tell you, her tests came up cancer free again ! If she could take a more aggresive chemo and was able to handle the radiation she may be able to go longer in between but because as Derek said her Lupus prevents her from doing that. We realize this may be temporary but we are happy she can at least have three months right now of feeling good again. Thanks again for your prayers, I believe they truly have helped. Love Always, Wendy

Peggy I think they might remember more than you think, but just don't know how to react. Think about something, when you had heard in the past of someone losing a spouse did you have any idea how much it hurt, or what to say or not to say to the person grieving? I know I didn't, I just didn't know how to approach them, even at a wake or funeral...I felt so uncomfortable that I just wanted to pay my respects and escape and go back to my normal life and try not to think about the sadness. I was naive to all of it and just didn't know how to handle it, well it is the same for my family and friends. Some bring up Steve alot, and some don't but I know that they will never forget him and they think of him in their own way and that is fine, they all loved my Steve and they know he loved them also and that is something they will always carry with them. But I can not expect them to know the memories and the love I carried for him deep in my heart and to remember all the dates that were special to us, that is for me to remember only, and if they do , fine and if they don't that does not mean they loved him or I any less or that they don't want to remember him. I myself would like to say I am sorry you are alone on your anniversary just remember we in this group understand and you never have to be alone here. Love Always, Wendy

Kath, I also have my 2 year anniversary of my husbands death coming up in two weeks and then in April I have what would have been our "30th" Wedding Anniversary and I am dreading going to a wedding that is farther off in August so I know exactly what you mean. I know Derek's anniversary's are coming up too and he has a wedding also coming up in I believe April and Fred just passed his 2yr and has a wedding coming up in June so maybe we can get their opinions also . For me it is not the wedding itself that I am dreading it is all the people coupled up that bothers me as it is all the same family members that Steve and I would hang around with during these functions and talk with etc. that now I feel out of place with. I know I shouldn't as they are my family but I do and I did also on Thanksgiving and Christmas. I wish your family had picked a better date knowing what that date was for you but what are the possibilities they did it to keep you busy and keep your mind off of it? Could that be a possibility? I think you may regret some day if you do not go to her wedding, maybe just do your best and leave early if you need to. Love Always, Wendy

NotCoping, You have my word that it does get more bearable with time. I did not join here until I was at my 6 month mark and I wish to God I had known about this group earlier. It was talking with my family here and knowing not only that I wasn't alone but also getting my feelings out that helped to get me to where I am now. I have had one hell of a time in the last 2 years with so many problems in my life, some of which are still going on like my Mom's cancer, and I will not lie to you, I am getting ready to hit my 2 year mark and it is still not easy but it does get more bearable. You need to post more, tell us how much you are hurting, tell us how lonely you are, how your life sucks, etc. we have all done it and not only does it help to get the love and the compassion from everyone it also helps to know when someone responds that what you are feeling is normal and you are not the only one going through it, you are never alone here. Give it time my friend, it will hurt alittle less as time goes on, this is a very difficult thing to go through that none of us here thought we would have to go through this so early in our lives but with each others help we will all get through this together and hopefully be alittle stronger in the end. Love Always. Wendy

Teny I agree also, if it were me and the course was available here I would definately take it. This may be the chance also for you to meet other people who are going through the same grief and be able to have people to talk to in person, and possibly make some new good friends. I remember Gail also saying almost the same thing about her first Grandchild when he was on the way, being upset that Bruce would not be there, but once he was born she was so happy and you will be too my friend. Love Always, Wendy

Oh John you are so welcome my dear friend, I go to your site often and get such inspiration from it, Jack certainly was a very special guy and lucky to have found you ! I loved the video from the movie that went with this song but it is no longer available and I am not sure why. Love Always, Wendy

Mary I also am so sorry for your loss of your husband Chris and we will all be here for you to help you along on this journey you must take. Please don't worry about crying three or four times a day, cry ten times a day if you need to. I agree with what already has been said about resting and eating well and taking care of yourself, it is so very important. I hope you will continue to come here when you need to, this family here is what got me through a few different grief times in my couple of years here, I lost my husband 5 months after my best friend died and then had my mother come down with cancer and my grandmother has become sicker and sicker with Alzheimers, my other grandmother passed away and then had a very special love relationship end. I am still here because of everyone in this group getting me through these devastating times and they will help you too. Love Always, Wendy

Peggy I want to welcome you to our family and I too am sorry for the loss of your husband. I met my husband when I was 15 and knew from that moment I would marry him some day, well I did just before my 21st birthday and sadly I lost him March 7th of 2007 so in a few short weeks I am coming up to my 2 year anniversary and a short time after that would have been our 30th wedding anniversary. I lost my Steve to a unknown blood clot that traveled to his heart. We are all at various stages of our grief and will be here for you whenever you need us. Love Always, Wendy

Bdzak my thoughts and prayers are with you today on your 1 year anniversary, I am only a few weeks away from my 2 year and I am having a very hard time with it also. I had posted a link to this beautiful song by Josh awhile back with a touching video that is no longer available to be viewed, so I will include this link now instead. I think it is one of the most beautiful songs ever written and who could possibly sing it any better than he ? Love Always, Wendy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uIQp9Dqcrw

Hey guys I don't normally post here but I just wanted to wish Shelley a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY ! Hope you have a very nice day Shelley ! Love Always, Wendy

Marty I don't know where we would all be right now if you hadn't started this group, for most of us I believe we would be scared to even think about it. We are like a family here and some of us have made friendships that will last the rest of our lives and we have you to thank for that. You allow us to speak our minds and spill our guts out to eachother and sometimes to clown around alittle and that is such an important part of our healing.I hope you have a super Birthday Marty and may God Bless You for being the wonderful person you are and for helping us to accept the new people we are becoming. Love Always, Wendy