Maylissa

As always, thank you very much, Marty, for your rapid help with this! Yes, indeed, it works just as you instructed...yay! Now I'll just have to make the time at some point to download whatever I want to keep. It's not as handy or obvious a method as being able to simply access posts/topics right from one's Profile page anymore, but at least the posts are still available. I've also alerted another previous member to this change/how-to, so she'll be able to find her own, too.

Hi Marty, I'm trying not to fly into a total panic here, but was just looking for some older posts myself....and was aghast to find I only supposedly have a FEW posts listed, and almost no topics, either -- when of course I had DOZENS over the years here!!! Last time I'd checked (not that long ago), everything was still firmly in place, as always. Where did they all GO?!...and how do I access them now??? I'd never C&P'd them all before, so now AM panicking, should they be gone forever! HELP, please!

Hi Tim, Although I can't seem to find your original posts here, I fondly remember you, Nikomi & Chinook and am glad you're still hanging in there, such as it is. It was good to hear you share here again. You say "a lot of time has passed" and that may be true in a lineal sense, but of course to the heart & soul, we know it's often but the blink of an eye. I, too, think of my own furchildren every day (how could I not?) and like you, mainly keep my grief to myself, as it's gone within in many respects...too deeply on a spiritual level to be shared much, except for with a very select type of person. I come across this often in my own practice as well and as it happens for many of us, sadly, that may not be your significant other. I know that makes it even harder to bear, though. Yet as Marty here cautioned me on more than one occasion earlier on, one must use great discernment as to whom it feels "safe" to share with, and on what level. Marty also once shared (loosely paraphrasing here) that there is often a time when our grief shifts to this 'quieter' place within us, a place where we do just hold it safely inside, unspoken, as it becomes more of a part of us and who we are. I think of it as too "sacred" and all-encompassing a place to 'sully' with mere words, and a place where it is to be cherished more within that without. As a card I got from one of the grief workshops I once took, puts this feeling so eloquently: Grief...is only the beginning. After a time it becomes something less sharp, but larger too, a more enduring thing called loss. ~Anna Quindlin As enduring as our love for them... Despite the pain, I hope the special bond you've now developed with Chinook will help you both through your shared loss and its effects. The road may be pretty lonely feeling, but as Robert Frost so wisely said, “I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” Such is how I see our non-human relationships, the deep sense of loss that ensues when our beloved companions return to spirit, everything 'beyond the norm' that they teach us, and what we then bring into the world because of that - a road worth having traveled. After all, what would we have been or become without that bond? I have a lilac bush that bids me both weep and smile bittersweetly each spring as it begins to bud out, ever reminding me of how much my boy loved to munch on its new leaves and rub its branches. It's old and really ought to be removed, but I simply can't. I also have a rose bush I keep potted which I bought in my girl's memory, residing in one of her favourite resting spots each summer. With each new pink blossom that appears, my heart cries out for her presence. Our yard and everything in it, old or new, and despite new feline visitors/friends who now frequent it, still belongs to "my kids," as it always was. So as The Nikomi Tree abides, so does yours and Nikome's love for each other...pure and white as its blossoms and never, ever to be forgotten.

I even hate to 'interrupt' your story with any reply at all, Mark, not knowing if you'd prefer 'silence' as yet. But I felt compelled to write with my deepest condolences on the transition of your most-beloved Bicky. I certainly understand, through experience, your devastation and all those other emotions, and agree - it's the closest single word that can possibly describe the incredible depth of the feeling(s) of loss. (as others have, I've felt the same myself over my own two ever-cherished furchildren) I don't visit here that much now, but the utter eloquence of how you're writing yours and Bicky's story simply could not go unnoticed, and so here I am again. It is so poignant and spell-binding, I can't help but wonder if you've considered writing an actual book, or even a mini e-book to share Bicky's legacy with the whole world, whenever you might be ready? Although not even finished here, it's already a most touching testament to how non-human beings can SO powerfully change us, even "overnight" (literally, in your case)...a message of which the world cannot hear enough. You have a very special gift, as did/does Bicky, who, I'm not just guessing, but assuming, has enhanced and helped shift your own innate blessings into something even more beautiful during his earthly time with you. I eagerly await any possible further sharing of the story of your relationship and how that affected and transformed you both. In the meantime, may your love-inspired and even pain-inducing memories be one of the catalysts to eventual healing of your shattered heart, and indeed prove as cathartic for you as you hope. If you're wondering, yes, reading your story does do my heart much good, too, even a few years after my own sorrowful memoirs. Bless you both - you and Bicky - for the wonderful relationship you created together, as well as for allowing us to experience these treasured pieces of it through your stirring words. If it may be of any further help to you, I'd like to suggest at least 2 books you may find helpful during your bereavement: 1) Animals and the Afterlife by Kim Sheridan and possibly also 2) Pieces of My Heart by Jim Willis Once again, all my sympathies and empathy in your journey through grief, and for the crossing of your beloved boy. May you always, at the least, feel Bicky with you in spirit. Somehow, I can't help but think he'll always be there for, and with, you. An excerpt from one of the poems I found the most comforting: Death is Nothing At All Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away to the next room. I am I and you are you. Whatever we were to each other, That, we still are. ... I am but waiting for you. For an interval. Somewhere. Very near. Just around the corner. All is well. Death Poem by Henry Scott Holland ~ 1847-1918 Canon of St. Paul's Cathedral ~ London. UK Purrs, Maylissa

And another perspective on another aspect... I would ask WHY is it "such a horrible thing to say?" Just because some of society currently says so? I feel the same about my own 2 beloved furkids, but made/make no apologies to anyone about how I felt/still feel, as compared to my human family's deaths. It simply is what it is, and there are usually very good reasons of the heart for feeling this way, as it is in my own case (and in many others, if you take the time to find out). It is certainly nothing about which to impose a feeling of guilt upon yourself. A relationship that has been that important and close will always remain so, no matter how many legs the loved one had. I'm very sorry for the loss of your precious dog and respect your deep and sacred feelings about her.

I wanted to add to what Marty just said, and some other things. For me, in case you've not read any of my older posts, it's coming up to 4 long years with the loss of my beloved fur-daughter (and over a decade for my fur-son), and I still can't quite believe so much time has gone by already. In my heart, it only feels like a few long moments and I often wonder how I ever made it this far. Even though intellectually, I can go back and chart my course to see "how" I did that, in some ways it's still a mystery. After reading through most of your exchanges with other members here (some wonderful sharing there!), it still amazes me how I can still find help for my own pain from what certain other people share, and how it can take me right back in time, yet also be rather 'spliced' into the Present at the same moment. (you've had some really fine helpers/fellow grievers here, I have to say!) But I know you've been worried, just as I was & still am to some degree, about how you're to survive that long, feeling as you do right now. I never thought I'd get to the (moving) point where I could tell anyone that it does "get better," but I'm at the beginning of saying so now, and actually meaning it. Some days are still harder than others of course, but it isn't anywhere near as grueling or utterly searing a pain as it was, that's for certain. It just takes as long as it takes, for each of us, individually, and depends, too, on whatever else is adding to our burden along the way. For me, I also had "complicated grief," as others have had, too, and that does make it more difficult...but not "impossible," one word that described how I felt back then about the task of grieving. Another thing that helped me during the most intense periods of pain was the eventual thought that I'd rather have that pain, rather than not have what I'd had to give rise to it. While I also, at the same time, wanted to simply give up my body and be with my kids again (and can still feel that way at times; usually when things aren't going as well as hoped), I also couldn't have imagined how hollow and empty my life would have been without them, of all (fur)people. I wouldn't trade the love and intensely close spiritual bond we had with each other for ANYTHING else this world has to offer, because it has shaped me into who I am, and I'd hate to think of who I might have been otherwise. Somehow, that helped me accept a bit better that to have experienced all that, I had to have been in this world, and so did they...so the sheer torture of their passings felt...more than appropriate, and I incorporated that extreme pain into being a part of the whole picture of our ONGOING relationship. In other words, that pain became just as SACRED to me as the joy had been, because it was about and for my kids, and that made it a wee bit easier to bear. Would we really want it to be too "easy" right from the start? or would that instead reflect, in our minds, how little someone meant to us? I hope this is coming across as I mean it. It also helped to find out, over time, that even the greatest sages from the past had experienced terrible, personal grief in their own lifetimes...so how 'superior' could we think we could be, given that? They survived the pain, and so do we. I also know how, even WHEN we experience our kids with us (through signs, feelings, etc.), it doesn't really help much, if at all in the beginning, for all we really want is to have what we had before, and nothing else will do! It's almost like a horrible tease, sometimes even making the pain of missing them worse. But for me, as time wore on and I processed more and more, and did things to help myself, even that gradually turned into more of a feeling of gratitude and warmth, and of knowing that my kids were there, trying to help me go through what I needed to. Unlike many, I never felt "bad" or guilty that I wasn't able to feel happier, because I knew THEY knew me better than anyone and they'd understand fully why I was in such pain. As always, they'd be patient with me, hugely-loving souls that they are. But Marty mentioned finding or making "meaning" in a loss. It would take me pages to describe my own, personal path with that, but suffice to repeat what I'd already said - my kids shaped me into who I am, bless their divine, fuzzy hearts, and also, throughout their lives here, led me to what I'm doing with my life NOW. If not for them, I can't even imagine what kind of meaningless, shallow existence and hollow work I might be doing, or the 'surface' types of people I'd be involved with. They were and still are my "saviors," in a word. And although it may still be hard to carry on without them physically here, I can at least say my life hasn't been without deep, richly spiritual and glorious, universally-meaningful purpose, even if I never really get to 'finish' what I've set out to do in this lifetime. But even this one step or part of this grief journey, takes time and effort, so when Marty says grieving is the "hardest" work you'll ever do, I'd say that's an understatement that no one really 'gets' until they've experienced it for themselves. It truly is, and has to be, taken one moment at a time...and isn't that how our furkids lived for the most part? From what I've read so far, I'd say Harley has come through for you a few times already, hoping to let you know he IS okay, so try to trust that he's there. After all, if he wasn't, he couldn't have been coming through as he has, right?...especially with this last sign of feeling his energy next to you. (it may take some time for this to really sink in) I know it's not the same as what you want, but isn't it better than nothing having shown up at all? Many people say they carry that extra burden and angst...and I feel so badly for them, wondering if they've just missed 'seeing' what was there. I haven't even gotten some of the ADC experiences I was not only fully expecting, but that some of my friends (and others) have received! So my advice would be to try to just accept whatever you DO get, just as I've had to do, and even though that still pains and frustrates me. I also truly believe you'll learn exactly what you need to learn, AS you need it and WHEN you need it. It will come...and all in Divine Timing, built right into your grieving process. And yes, "thank God for MUTE!" I've used it often myself on those calls and have heard MANY people trying to speak through their tears! But glad you tried the class. "Some day" you'll be able to look back on your journey and recognize real progress and even forgive yourself for what you see as your shortcomings...the same ones that Harley most likely never even noticed, with his love for you outshining everything else. P.S. And omg...saw his pic on your other thread, and what an adorable, absolutely 'munchable' boy he is! I can certainly see how much you've got to miss. SUCH a sweet face! If you don't mind me asking, did he like to "shred" things? Was he pretty feisty, but usually in spurts, yet also could be rather 'clingy' at times? I really think he's jumping up & down, trying to say, "I'm HERE! I'm HERE!" (i.e. next to you)

Hi Elizabeth, Oh, how lovely! That's exactly how signs often work -- beautifully serendipitously, timed "just right" and meaningfully tied to what's going on around & within. So, see?...you didn't have to DO anything at all, except have your heart center open. Way to go, for both Harley and you! My own kids have used rainbows countless times, in much the same way...purrfectly timed, &/or when I asked for one. I often get double rainbows, too - one from each of them, so I'm shown they're both with me at the same time. In fact, there hasn't been even one trip so far where I haven't received at least one occurrence of them. The most amazing one occurred when coming back from a little trip we took (when my kids are guaranteed to come with me), where I was upset because I HADN'T been sent one yet, unlike every other trip. I needn't have worried. We were about 1/2hr. away from home when I asked, out loud, "Hey, you guys, where's my rainbow sign???" Within one minute, one appeared to my right. Within another minute, that disappeared and another one appeared, to my left. And then, the absolutely BIGGEST and most spectacular rainbow either of us have ever seen anywhere, showed up minutes later. It was a massive double, with an large, darker area in between the two, fully visible (from where WE were, anyway) from one end to the other, and even colouring the treeline/objects at the ground on each end. My husband remarked that it looked just like "a bridge," it was so vivid and solid-looking. I said, "Yahhhh....a Rainbow Bridge!" I just knew this one was extra-meaningful, and it was... You see, unbeknownst to us at the time, a neighbourhood feline buddy of ours who'd been virtually living at our house for most of that year (due to neglect at his 'home'), was suddenly missing upon our return. He'd been whisked away (to a humane society, and on that very day) by a real estate agent who'd been "managing" his people's rented house. The husband had totally trashed the house (apparently about 2 wks before this), then took off and abandoned &/or let loose likely all of their 7 or 8 animals. Our buddy wasn't locked up & abandoned inside only because he'd been at our house at the time. Finally, this 2 wks later, the agent opened up the house to find 2 of the animals left inside (with little to no sustenance), and our buddy outside, trying to get into his garage (where he and his other feline pal had to live, normally). But it took me 3 weeks more to find out exactly what had happened to our buddy, and no, he wasn't dead (thank goodness!), but his feline pal almost undoubtedly was killed by the humane society. Our buddy was adopted out again, but for several weeks there, my heart was broken, not even knowing where he was...so this spectacular rainbow ended up also being like a "promise" that he wouldn't end up dead, too. I always remember, too, once reading about how special rainbows are, irrespective of any other meaning, in that it's a little miracle to even SEE them, as one has to be in just the right place at the right time in order for that to even happen. That little factual tidbit only reinforces the idea of them being divinely placed for us. I'm also so pleased to see you're going to try that class with ASN. I've been a subscriber/member with ASN for quite awhile now, and they're a great group. (excellent suggestion on Marty's part) Kristin is a very organized and lovely presenter. You might even wish to check out or join their annual "Animal Spirit Cafe´," as it's packed with information and, if a member, you get free (& archived, for later listening) talks each month & more. (Teresa Wagner also does a few free talks through them, which are not to be missed, she's so wonderful)

Hi Elizabeth, You're very welcome, and I hope whatever helps, helps. I also liked Allson DuBois' "We Are Their Heaven." I read with great interest your clear ADC from Harley! That example is exactly the kind of thing that constitutes a personalized SIGN. We don't do ourselves any favours when we discount, or doubt, these various ways and means our beloveds use to "get our attention." As they say, just "go with it," acknowledge and thank your boy for sending it, and simply plant the seed of the idea in your mind that you want to stay aware of whatever might be sent your way. I don't believe you have to really deliberately induce your intuition per se...because it already exists within. But it helps to simply acknowledge and allow for it - it will show you its existence, just by not discounting it. (it's just like a muscle that needs to be exercised by regular use) Besides, some ADCs don't depend on any kind of 'perfect' state of mind, I've discovered. While being more restful, peaceful &/or open can certainly help, I've also experienced some signs during decidedly agitated or depressed states, too. My boy is better at coming through in those times than my girl is, mind you, as their abilities to do so are still very individual. In earthly life, my girl's energy was...'softer,' and she was more subtle in her ways than her bolder, brasher brother was (whose energy was also harder to miss)....and so it remains in their other-worldly existence. This was hard for me to accept, for quite awhile, because I wanted the SAME signs from my girl as I'd received from my boy. But once I finally settled into that acceptance, I began getting MORE of her subtler signs, more often...I'm sure that was also a grateful "thank-you!" and "good for you!" from her, for that bit of mindful advancement. If you're not sure of all the means used by our loved ones, you could try Googling "common after death communications" (or similar phrases) and read through/view samplings of what comes up - there are quite a number of links now, as compared to even just a few years ago. While it's not as easy (yet!) to find direct links to animal ADCs, if you're searching for them, over time, they'll find you. Also, as with the grief books, pay attention to ADCs from children, as children's and animals' souls are very similar in many ways, so you can extrapolate from those. I'm not surprised that your other doggie is trying to help you with your grief. Animals do this so well and love us SO beautifully! But remember, your lives together are a SHARED journey, and they may need your help as much as you need theirs. Since the animals most often mirror what's going on within US, it's good to stay aware of how we may be affecting them, and as we know, helping others often lends us more healing for ourselves. For example, it was mainly my girl who ended up getting me through several other losses, partly because I had to look after her and her (increased) needs all during my own devastation(s), and partly because my intense love for HER ended up taking precedence, when push came to shove. The expanded love I received from her in return purrfectly echoed one of the greatest lessons she'd always modeled for me throughout our life together -- giving is the SAME as receiving (within). So wherever we're most naturally drawn to give, we'll find more healing, and more love, in return. That said, in grief, we often don't have much to give, but just do the best you can with that, one moment at a time and cut yourself some slack as needed. I don't think most of us "do loss well," frankly, because, in a very small nutshell, we've (in this culture) made the idea of physical death into something to be utterly terrified of, and that can be a very hard concept to undo. But here, too, imo, those souls in animal 'clothing' are our greatest teachers. In brief, if you start reading more from ACers (communicators), you might find that kind of perspective changes over time. I believe you're right, too, about our journey never really ending at all, but only expanding to encompass more and more...if we're open to it. My kidlets (and others along the way, both still here & transitioned) proved to me (as much as I personally needed) that life doesn't end with the giving up of the body...but that doesn't mean I don't still miss them being here physically. I do, every day and in countless ways. But it's easier to live with now for the most part. Have your meltdowns whenever you need them, as they're part of the journey, of not just bereavement, but also of the duality we face on this plane. There's no seeming 'lack' in you and in fact, there's very much expansion already present, for having opened your heart to the love of your animals, rather than reserving it only for your own species. Your heart's a treasure, Harley knows it, your other furries know it, and that's why they were with you...and still are. Take tender care, Maylissa Oops, I forgot to mention this other link. I'd looked into IADC therapy awhile ago, but never could travel to avail myself of the closest therapist that offered this newer treatment. However, I've just found someone else who's written a book (due out this fall) on her own 'tweaking' of this method. So if you're interested in another possible book... Afterlife Connections by a Grief Therapist, Rochelle Wright, M.S.

Ohhhhh, thanks so much, Marty. but also It's always so heartwarming to be appreciated and I miss you, too! I sometimes loooong to get back here, and sort of take a breather from the daily business of staying aloft (through better times and otherwise), if you know what I mean...but I'm just too darn busy with this 'continuing life' stuff. But I'm still glad to be of help whenever I can, albeit pretty rarely these days. I think I still need another "me" to handle everything I'm interested in! But Elizabeth's post tweaked my intuition, and I just followed. (I'm getting better at everything my furkids did their best to teach me!) So I hope it helps. On a personal note (since I'm here anyway), I'm about to take a more local, animal-centered workshop in about a week (linked to my specific practice), but if I could have afforded it, I would have taken it down in Phoenix instead, where the teacher is based (much warmer than here lately, too!). It would have been super if I could have met you in person, though, in your own "stomping grounds." Maybe some day...

For those of you who believe, as I do, that the sound of a cat's purr is one of, or even THE most beautiful and soothing sound in the entire universe, or if you're simply missing your own furbaby's purr, here's something you may be interested in. I've just been informed of a brilliant CD by Elizabeth Peru, available through her "Deltawaves" website. As I've been proclaiming privately for years, and science has now discovered, cats' purring is a form of sonic healing that is therapeutic and helpful for healing several dysfunctions, both emotional and physical...and not just for themselves, but for us as well. Since sound waves permeate and penetrate (or resonate through) everything that appears to be solid, such as our bodies, these healing effects can be experienced simply by listening to a cat's purr. As those of us in the alternative healing fields know, higher vibrating energies are to our benefit, and cats are among those who naturally carry and use such frequencies. Their purrs have now been discovered to fall in the 25-50 Hz range, with some as high as 140Hz. Elizabeth's CD includes 2 guided meditations with purrs in the background (1- for healing; 2- to "meet Your Power Cat and meet Your Purrfect Companion"), plus one track that is ONLY purring, for those who prefer to "do their own thing" with it. She also has a CD for helping with grief over lost, sick or departed furkids, titled "Family Animals™ CD," where one can connect to them energetically. Its tracks include: making the decision on euthanasia, finding lost animals, connecting with those who've passed, and connecting with those who no longer live with you. Check out the wonderful background and research on this, and much more interesting and vital information regarding cats (and a small piece on dogs), on the Deltawaves website, from where you can order this CD (and/or other products) from anywhere in the world, shipping & handling included. Elizabeth lives in Australia, but my order to Canada, should apparently only take up to about 2 wks - faster than most shipments from the USA to here! Interestingly, the sample track from this CD had me very pleasantly surprised, as this cat's purr sounded just like my own furgirl's, minus her common "double purr" trick - Master Healer & Teacher that she was/still is. So it might even feel very much like actually BEING with her again - can't wait!!! P.S. I didn't agree, however, with everything she'd said on the differences between cat and dog healing, as my experiences have shown me cats = "unconditional love" lessons/feelings equally well as any other species. I find that a bit speciesist, as I think it depends ONLY on the individual at a soul level, not upon the incarnated species of that soul.

Hi Elizabeth, I can relate to your devastation and am so sorry you're having to experience the pain of losing your beloved Harley. I'm barely ever here now, but just happened to catch your post and wondered if you'd read Animals and the Afterlife, by Kim Sheridan? (not, I don't think, listed in the recommended books thread here, but is included on Marty's Pet Loss links [here]. While it may not give you specifics on the "how-to" of surviving grief and loss, Kim's style of writing is nothing less than completely heartfelt, compassionate, empathetic and of course targeted to pet parents and our unique yet commonly-shared experiences. It's also an inspiring and comforting book overall, due to its main aim, that being the numerous stories submitted on ADCs from people's furchildren that show their souls, too, survive physical release of the body. Of all the books I'd read, this one is still among my top picks, where I discovered a definite kinship with Kim and her perspectives & feelings - that alone worth the read! At the time I read it, though, I hadn't experienced 'enough' ADCs from my furgirl, so in that respect it was a bit pain-inducing...but I'm very happy to say in time, all that changed and I've now documented pages upon pages of "signs" from both of my kidlets, who never fail me when I need them. Kim's 2nd, follow-up book is still in the works & hasn't been released yet, as she's been busy making films (can't wait to see these!) as well as being involved in a few other projects. (she now has about 5 different websites) Another couple of great books are Allen & Linda Anderson's "Saying Goodbye to Your Angel Animals" (more self-help focused, with lovely exercises) and "Maya's First Rose" by Martin Scot Kosins (recommended to me by Marty - THANK YOU, Marty!)...the latter personal story echoing (though not quite matching) the extent of care I'd given my own furgirl, and how his own canine companion became his entire world for a time, so really speaking deeply to me on that level. Some of his beautifully-worded sentiments express exactly my own feelings. I had to find Martin's book used, but SO worth the search. (I also like Sandy Goodman, for the "deepness" & particularly for her "afterlife" leanings) I also wanted to say that, like you, I'd searched high and low for books, or merely sections of books, on "child loss," recognizing those to often hold the closest comparisons to furchild loss. Among the most helpful for me often ended up being those books (and websites, blogs, audios, etc.) by animal communicators, such as the acclaimed Teresa Wagner (who has several good aids for animal loss through her website; her newsletter is good, too), Rita Reynolds, Penelope Smith, and more. There are few (so far) in this world who understand such loss quite as well as these, who have, like myself, had deeply spiritual relationships with their animal companions that are on a par with, or even often superseding human relationships. Nor will one generally find minds (and hearts) as open as communicators, which is a great boon during grieving (or anytime!). I'd also searched for a local therapist totally in-tune with this type of loss, but unfortunately the closest one who specialized in this was one Province away, so I used other less human-biased ones locally for other various aspects, failing the "all-in-one" package. I'm sorry, too, that you're finding this forum less active than the others here - I can relate, though. Through all my various losses, I often found sometimes one has to take the initiative and thereby "drive" traffic to a certain extent...but I also found that doesn't always work, either. Sadly, sometimes it's just a matter of timing, as to how many folks are present &/or active &/or on the same wavelength as yourself. Btw, I also pretty closely agree with your assessments on the 3 books you have read to date. Thanks for sharing and best of luck in your ongoing bereavement journey. Many blessings to you and your angel furbaby, Maylissa

You're welcome, Marty, as always. And THANK YOU for passing the word on!! I don't know, actually, as I haven't even set up on the networking sites yet! (gotta get to that asap!) But it's likely it's there. Also, an addendum: The talk by Ella is also still listenable in regular online "play" mode, or it can be downloaded. I'm listening to it right now.

Received this Dec. 29/09 & wanted to share the news here for those who may be interested. Even if not, please do check out Dr. Bittel's informative website [below] regardless: Dear Friends, We have wonderful news to share with you before the year ends: The first ever online class available on animal hospice care is FINALLY ready to go! Thanks to all of you for bearing with us in the last months of our maneuvering through the logistical jungle. We are so excited to now be able to offer a way to learn about animal hospice to those of you who cannot travel to our live seminars or would have to travel rather far, simply by using a computer. The internet makes it possible, this way we can even serve those who have shown interest from Australia, Japan, Singapore, Italy, Germany and other far locations. The online classes are suitable for: any animal lover considering being involved with or providing hospice care to an animal companion, whether lay or professional veterinarians, veterinary technicians, veterinary assistants other animal care professionals including pet sitters grief counselors, pet loss counselors human hospice workers with interest in animal hospice care Content similar to our basic level weekend seminar "Spirits in Transition" will be covered in 20 online sessions by taking Part 1 and 2 of our basic level online classes. You will see the slides and hear the presentation through your computer, and also can download handouts with some of the sessions. Part 1 and 2 each consist of ten sessions of at least 60 minutes in length, the last one of each part is held as a webinar. This allows participants who have completed all previous nine interactive online sessions to get answers to their questions in person. A recording of the webinar can be downloaded by those unable to attend it live via computer and phone. For the completion of the Part 1 course to count as prerequisite for participation in Part 2, participants have to turn in their homework for review. Topics we cover in Part 1 of SPIRITS in Transition – Online are: Re-evaluating common reasons for euthanasia Overview of several holistic modalities helpful in special needs and end-of-life animal care Integrating our personal experiences on death and dying Challenges and choices in geriatric and special needs animal care Cancer prevention Easing pain– conventional and holistic options Please note: - Currently, we are releasing only Part 1 of which we will post one or two sessions per month. Once started, each session remains available to the participant for 3 months. - Those of you who have taken our weekend seminar, treasure the movie documenting the last 48 hours of dear chocolate lab "Cassie" who shares her passing in her own time with us in a most inspiring way. This movie is only available during the live seminar, discounts are given to those who wish to combine online and live classes. For further information on the online classes, please visit: http://www.spiritsintransition.org/online_classes/index.html Additional note: Ella's radio/online interview with Sage Lewis will re-run on January 2nd. If you would like to listen to it go to http://www.thepetplayground.mypodcast.com [MY NOTE: this talk appears to still be available for download to listen to, at the above website] Thank you for sharing our passion for animal hospice care. Our fondest wishes for you and all your loved ones in 2010, Ella & Bunny SPIRITS in Transition www.spiritsintransition.org The way this works is, the Part 1 classes (only ones being made available so far) can be enrolled in at any time you choose. All classes but the Q&A webinar (only one/Part 1 & Part 2) are attended from your computer. The webinar class is attended by phone. There is a calendar on the website listing this and other events by Dr. Bittel, as well as more detail about these classes, and more.

.

I heard Dr. Mark Hanks speaking as a recent guest on a paid web-class I'd signed up for throughout this last year, and was very touched by his understanding ways towards both his patients and clients and the human-animal bond - a real softie and yes, definitely a kindred spirit! One of the caring services/projects that Mark provides for members of his Kindred Spirits Community is an email list you can subscribe to. (if interested, ask to be signed up for his email list membership through his contact info. on his website) He sends out emails (like a very short newsletter) every so often, and you can reply to him if you choose to, or just read them. He's gearing up for expanding the way it's delivered, as it's grown much more than he first anticipated. He and his staff have begun a tradition of remembering the patients that they have lost. Every year they decorate their clinic (in Orrington, ME) tree with ornaments made by their clients in honor of their departed pets. All of the previous year's ornaments on hung on the beams in the clinic, so no one is ever forgotten in this ritual. Additionally, he asked people who'd lost a pet in 2009 to send him a picture and they made a slide show from them, which I've just received. Since the Christmas season can be so difficult for many of us, and we often need some release from all our painful emotions through a good, cleansing cry, I wanted to share it here with everyone. You can view it on Youtube The accompanying song is very poignant, so get out your tissues beforehand! I particularly resonated with the line that spoke of the bereavement as "like holding my breath underwater," since, that's exactly how I've found much of my time without my furbabies to be like. I often feel that's how I'm living....until I can see them again.... Last year's slide show is on the website, too - here. If you have registered for/on his website, just sign in and you will see the community section on top. Go to Kindred Spirit Videos and watch it there.

Hmmm....maybe I spoke too soon!? Now I can't find any way to archive messages/"conversations" anymore. Does anyone know where to do this from? I'd hate to think we've lost this common board feature, but all I can find so far is a way to "delete" messages, not archive them....and I'm rapidly running out of "storage space"! In fact, I can't even seem to find a "help" section for board features. Yikes. Big forest, no flashlight! Who was it who originally said technology would make our lives easier????

Finally made it back here to attempt the additions/corrections -- it was a loooooong breath! First I tried just adding back my interests in the "interests" section of the main Profile page, because this seemed a simpler way to do it, but they actually then took up too much vertical space on EACH post - didn't realize they'd now be added there instead of only on the Profile page. So I deleted that and instead did it according to your directions (much thanks for those!), & so my "interests" now sit instead on my Profile page. I also noticed, while doing this, that you can edit your signature (and other such things) separately, so my present one was unchanged nor removed by just editing the "about me" section - yay! So all is well.

Thanks, Wyonna, for posting your experience, and the link to Bridget. Her blog, too, is really fascinating & I just spent about a HOUR getting completely lost in it! She really sounds like a wonderful woman and kindred spirit. It's also always a real help to get feedback from people about good communicators they've used...especially nowadays, when there are so MANY to choose from! Word-of-mouth is, as usual, the best way to find the best ones. I've used several different ACers, too, over the years, and when they're able to validate for you (through info. they get from your companion) that they've connected with your loved one, it really does help with many facets of grief. I've managed to do this a few times myself, too, for other people, so yes, we CAN all do this, given enough practice & guidance. Sometimes people's animals (while still on this plane) have just come to me voluntarily during my healing work - always a real thrill & honour. On occasion, with transitioned animals, I've sat down and consciously connected with them as a favour to a friend, or as part of a course in same. It's always brought at least some measure of relief and healing to others. I also once journeyed with one dog as she was transitioning, when she got to reunite with her best canine buddy who'd crossed earlier, and whom she'd missed so very much. It was a glorious thing for her when she first saw him and I clearly felt her utter joy & excitement as she ZOOMED towards him. Had me in tears, of shared relief and joy. But since I'm rather a 'novice' at this yet, and our own emotions about our loved ones can cloud the communication, I've used professional ACers for my own kidlets, and have received much comfort from what came through so I, too, can rest more easily in knowing how they're doing, and even WHAT they're doing. And so I'll be adding Bridget to my list, too. Again, many thanks, and glad you got to connect more fully with both of your beloveds! Maylissa

Holy crow, Boo....that's (from IT) about as useful as the instructions that came with our push lawnmower (Gardena), which warn you to not use it for mowing your rooftop...or w/o tall, rubber boots on! These techie types just don't speak the same language...it's no wonder technical writing is in such high demand and pays so well - they're still looking for those who can translate! Thanks to both you and Marty for the other explanations. It looks like I'll have to redo my "Interests" section, as it's indeed gone. One more question related to that: Once inputted/edited, does anyone know if your "interests" show up as a separate section ABOVE your signature, as it's my signature that's currently showing in the "About Me" section (the section Marty said needs to be edited)? (hope this makes more sense that IT chatter!) Also noticing more quirks in the messaging system, like it seemingly sending before you've even hit "send." It did this twice already, giving me a window once that said "this message has already been sent" right after I'd hit the "send" button. Aye...my head hurts.

Oy! Just saw the new format, and no time to even stop and figure it all out. But some questions: Has our Profile info (e.g. "Interests") disappeared? Maybe I'm just blind, but I didn't see that any longer on my Profile page. And what's a "code snippet"? - on the tool bar above where you're posting. In fact, what's "sub-script" & "super-script" for? (also on the tool bar) K, gotta quit with the cursor-highlighting now, cuz I'm starting to breathe too fast! (<-speaking of this guy, wish we'd gotten some new "emoticons", too)

Aaaawwww, thanks Marty. I've been so ridiculously busy with one thing or another, I've just not had any time to visit, more often than not! My furbabies are still guiding me from spirit, though, so my "new normal" is slowly but surely getting a bit easier to handle...busy-ness aside! (and hearty congrats. on your new licensure for online counseling! but can I add this to my "if only" list for awhile ago? )

You're most welcome, Kavish. Bruce has written many wonderful books, too, and has his own website, if you'd care to check it out. Of further interest, I see you've also read "Life After Death" by Deepak Chopra. (I'm almost done this one myself), but did you happen to notice where he said (chapter 14, Thinking Outside the Brain), "The closer we can get to showing that the field is intelligent, the more credible it will be that our own intelligence can survive after death. One way to approach this issue seems strange but turns out to be very fruitful: animal telepathy,"? And then he goes on to a short discourse about Rupert Sheldrake's work on same, tying this into how consciousness exists outside the brain. (frankly, I could only respond with a big "well, DUH!" at this 'revelation', since like so many other animal guardians/parents, I've experienced this first-hand on hundreds of occasions with my own furkids, & others, both domesticated and "wild") So in light of this tying into the main topic I'd begun long ago, it also behooves me to point out that there are also many anecdotal stories (the ones many 'old' scientists refuse to acknowledge or study, as if "anecdotal" evidence is such a dirty word) of how animals have helped their people (or even relatives of their people) heal, such as seemingly deliberately taking on health challenges not begun as their own...such as cancerous tumors, with their person's tumor mysteriously disappearing for good just prior to this 'exchange,' leaving conventional doctors completely baffled as to how their human patient suddenly had no trace of their dis-ease. I've heard of one dog who did this for a human family member, after which the tumor (thankfully benign in the dog) was successfully surgically removed from his own brain (where it had also previously resided in the human) and lived out his days with no more such incidence. Animals also very often do this with the emotional issues we take on ourselves, many becoming physically ill until and unless we tackle the causes of the disturbance in ourselves. People are finally recognizing the almost more mundane (by comparison) good effects of, for instance, the dramatic lowering of blood pressure just from stroking a non-human companion, but there's SO much more than this really going on all around us. And so, ANIMALS play a huge part in our healing and evolution, too, more than most people ever suspect. And the greatest power of healing comes from none other than LOVE, which animals, in particular, hold so well for, and draw out from, us. For another interesting link to how love (for self & for others) heals, you can check out Dr. Dean Shrock's website. I just heard a talk by him that was very helpful & inspiring, and his guided meditation work includes some lovely, little 'twists' that I've found in no others'. (he also offers a free e-course on How Love Heals, on his website) Thanks for digging up this old topic, so I could add to it, as small a sampling as this is!

Raki's Mom, Thank you for sharing those precious photos of your dear Raki with us. What a trooper, in so many ways... He'll be treasured for always, I'm sure. Hope you're hanging in there, one day, or one moment, at a time. {{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}} Maylissa

Dear Raki's Mom, Yes, many of us, or even most of us, experience that changeable, or even concurrent, distorted sense of "time since....". It can feel like both an eternity, yet just a short while, and it's very hard on us. Some of us are helped in letting our grief burst forth by continuing to 'immerse' ourselves in it, yet others can't take even an ounce more, so each to his/her own, and whatever works best for YOU is what's best. And that can change, too, over time, or go back and forth. It's all very individual. It's coming up 3 years for me, for my fur-daughter, and I STILL haven't moved some of her things, or just very slightly. My kids' window-seat is still up, their shared post & our girl's newer post are both still where they always were, my girl's supply cupboard still has most of her things in it, their pictures cycle through on both my computer screen and in one of those digital photo frames, etc. It's important to remember it's OUR decision, not anyone else's, as to what we do with their personal items, and that we can stay feeling more connected to them through those things, for as long as we need. Again, whatever we prefer is what should apply. So it's all "fine." Mind you, in my case, other neighbourhood feline friends have used their seat and post, and even a few, select toys (ones that weren't favourites, or which we had several duplicates of) since then and through the years, so they ended up being kept in place, regardless. But the first few times these other friends 'dared' to use them, I almost had a heart attack, as it seemed so disrespectful in one way...yet also comforting in another. But I wished to give these others some joy, too, and in turn, some of them even contributed to signs I received from my girl, through them. And much later, it also evolved into an homage to my kids to allow others to remind me of how much happiness these objects had, and still could, provide. But that was a long process for me. Your moods are readily understandable and I'm sure many of us have shared them. I could add many other moods as well, in several layers at times. It's very good that you feel you will be okay in time. I wasn't so sure, myself, and can still have many moments when that's in question, as this earthly life still doesn't feel as important for me now as it used to....but then, I had very little support overall, so this difference is pretty understandable, as it extends beyond the grief itself. I can relate to your feelings of hesitancy in posting replies if you sense, or even just wonder, if others' relationships weren't of the same depth, character &/or intensity. Too many times I put my feelings at risk of ridicule or derision, even with those I'd had reason to suspect would understand, but really didn't. Once in awhile I'd come across someone who felt & thought the same way as I did, about their own babies, and that would help a lot, but it was fairly few and far between. It made for a pretty lonely journey. That said, I seem to almost always find at least ONE such person, somewhere, every now and then, and especially when I need to find them the most.They come and go, cyclically, it seems. I was also drawn to read parents' feelings and accounts about human child loss, as that was what immediately resonated the closest for me. You might also find much comfort and empathy in the various works & personal views/attitudes by Allen & Linda Anderson on their Angel Animals Network. I have 2 of their books and find them to be among the MOST empathetic and helpful, out of all those I've read. One day at a time is the best advice for any kind of trauma, I think, including major loss. I've also found after awhile, it becomes, concurrently, one YEAR at a time.....still plugging away, myself.

Just a quick interjection here --> thanks, Marty, for being a dear, as usual, & posting those links for Raki's Mom (or others). I was hoping you'd pick up on that since you always seem to have them more 'at the ready' (somehow!) & I just didn't have the time to look some of them up!