Maylissa

Mary, thank you for putting this post up. I admit, though, I'm rather surprised to see some seeming contradictions in what Einstein had to say, since several other quotes by him have supported quite a spiritual bent and understanding in his perspectives on consciousness. But I also always enjoy hearing others speaking of quantum physics now, and how it's helping marry science with spirituality...."about time," is all I can say! I had a "Knowing" about this very thing at about the age of 5 or 6, which I see is now actually coming to fruition in my own lifetime, thank goodness for me, heehee. In any case, I myself delved quite deeply into "life after life" concepts and research, too, after the devastating-to-me transitions of my beloved furchildren. One of my favourite sites has since become Bob Olson's "Afterlife TV," which I believe Marty also posted about here once, somewhere, where Bob interviews people who've had NDEs, and more. I've also been delighted to find, years later, that what I'd experienced myself as a "knowing feeling" of what a more energetic-based "reunion" (or "re-merging," as I think of it) with my loved ones might look/feel/be like, has since been echoed by one or two of his guests, during their own NDE experiences. Although I've not had an NDE myself (though I've met someone who has), I've personally experienced a few powerful ADCs (After Death Communications) from each of my furchildren, but most notably from my fur-son, who more "tangibly" visited me, although my husband received a similar one from our blessed fur-girl, too. (I'm pretty sure I'd talked about several of these on the 'old' GH site, back then) The fact that my boy's sister also concurrently heard all of her brother's visits, too, is confimation enough for me to believe in consciousness surviving physical death. She "validated" what I heard, as I did for her. And I certainly know of countless other people who've experienced the same kinds of things, including even more obvious ones that left physical evidence of a visit...many very mind-blowingly "cool" and not easily disputed...particularly those where others (including strangers) witnessed the same things at the same place and time. So yes, I'm a believer, and like the above blogger, couldn't not be now if I tried, as I "know what I know." (there is more to my own experiences, mind you, than just this) On a philsophical level though, even if one might argue that if All Is (really only) One (Consciousness) and everything is really just an illusion, or "projection" of said Consciousness (i.e. Maya playing with Itself), it would still have to remain that there is Consciousness, or a Universal Intelligence, in everything/everyone that ever existed, no matter if it's seemingly "split" between billions of Its Own "parts" or not. Otherwise, there could be no life force to "power" anything/one at all. I also believe in reincarnation, and I don't think the two concepts need be mutually exclusive. As A Course In Miracles said somewhere (at least I think that's where I discovered it), "life cannot contradict itself." In other words, "life" cannot contradict its own, intrinsic, and very nature, by being "NOT-life," but an opposite, which would of course be what we consider as "death." I think that's one of the keyest and most brilliant points I've ever read. ACIM further makes the point that it's death that is actually not even real, and we've simply bought into the illusion that it is, because we've chosen not to see beyond the physical for so long now. And of course, for the past few decades actually (though the info was and still is being prevented to a large extent from getting out there), quantum science has unearthed enough evidence that supports the fact that the light (photons) of which everything is comprised, cannot actually "die," but only be transmuted. These formerly-divergent sectors now merging, thoroughly pleases me. Again, thanks for the post.

Since it's been a long time since I had to archive anything from my Message Center, I've noticed what appears to be a change there, likely from the last time GH was updated. I used to be able to archive entire pages of PMs all at once (just using the checkboxes), which then created a "folder" that was sent to my email address, and which I could then store on my computer, en masse. But now, I only see an archiving option button if I individually open each PM separately, i.e., the archive option appears at the bottom of each PM I open. This results in having to archive each PM by itself, rather than as a "bunch," which considerably slows up the whole process. Am I blind, and missing seeing another way to archive more at once???

Kacy and rebbyreb, Though it may be a little more awkward to follow, I'll reply to you both within the same post. I'm so pleased to see you both have taken on re-educating yourselves on true "health" care for your furbabies, as opposed to blindly following the "sick," or just "dis-ease management," care system by which we've all been led so astray throughout our lifetimes (and much further back). The passion that arises from either tragedy or even simply fear (another wise teaching-feeling) that you speak of, rebby, is what helped fuel my own path as well. And I'm glad to see it is finally being shared more and more by others...particularly in the companion animal category, since animals (but all of them) are my main passion in life. I'm also familiar with Dr. Becker and several other well-known vets/authors, one of whom, happily, later became my furdaughter's primary, distance, homeopathic vet. Along with our formerly-primary, local, integrative vet (who practised several alternative modalities herself), and a few allopathic specialists (as needed) in my furgirl's final months, we were able to extend her life by another 6.5 years after she became so immediately ill (due to her intense grief) after we suddenly lost her beloved brother. If I'd been mainly using allopathic means instead, I'm quite certain we would have lost her, too, within mere weeks or months instead. So I agree with much of what you both have shared, and thank you for doing that. Kacy, I know you're looking for a "holistic" vet, and I know how difficult it can be to find just the right one who fits the bill as closely as possible. Considering how challenging that search can be as yet, another option you might consider, which it seems you've actually already done in part -- is having a "team" of vets to work with, with one deemed as "primary," and your local, allopathic vet as back-up for any needed tests, physical exams, etc. That is what I ended up doing, using our (distance) homeopathic vet as primary, and who also often proscribed certain herbals, proper nutritional advice of course, and other natural aids as required, some of which I could also run past our local integrative vet if I chose, following discussion with him. Overall, this worked pretty well for me, aside from the 45 min. drive required to see our local vet when needed. My distance (phone) sessions with her homeopath were very productive as well as easy on my her, since she seldom had to be subjected to any clinic visits (except during her final months). If you'd even like to consider using our own homeopathic vet (who lives in the US & also now utilizes Skype for calls), you can PM me for his contact info, and discuss things with him to see if you might like him and his methods. I also know of another homeopathic vet whose fees are very competitive, although I don't personally agree with the particular way she practises homeopathy (i.e. it's not exactly "classical" from what I can tell), so while I can't personally recommend her, I do know she has helped another friend of mine with her own animals. (she can also work by phone or email) You're certainly right about Lucy having been subjected to far too many drugs & vaccines, and in such insanely short order, but as sad as that is, it was not your doing, and it may also speak to Lucy's underlying, personal constitution, for all anyone knows. While it's true that at least some, if not all(?), of that damage could have potentially been reversed through classical, constitutional homeopathy &/or other 'alternative' methods, the fact is, you simply didn't have anyone at the time who could help you with that. So you had to work with what you had. And when you say "apparently it didn't all sink in," I'm suspecting that was because upon her adoption, you were full of HOPE, relief, and whatever else, that now she'd be in better hands, as she was! This is always the problem with hindsight, of course...it's only a great teacher afterwards. But I know most of us do beat ourselves up, regardless of the futility of it, at least until we can work through more issues within. Personally, I consider this a common and often necessary part of the process, though, as it can help us dig and sift through any inner issues we need to unearth within ourselves. In other words, this part of grief, too, can serve an important purpose. But if at any point you'd like to consider additional help in getting through &/or eliminating the guilt, as you may already know, there are now plenty of energetic methods out there (some which you can learn to do on your own) that may be of use to you, like EFT, TAT, hypnosis, or any other energetic &/or frequency-based systems that have the potential to vastly shift your thoughts, emotions and beliefs. (I practise one of them myself) I've always been a proponent, too, of utlizing flower essences (FEs) along with any other method, or just by themselves. There are a few blends that are geared specifically toward grief and its common issues. (you can ask me about the ones/brands I'd recommend, if you wish) And rebby's right about current mainstream protocols practised in most shelters; not something we can change overnight, unfortunately. That entire, old paradigm is changing however, so perhaps in the future we won't be faced with such disparities in thinking, or their ill effects. I do have to disagree though, rebby, with the generalized notion that animals never harbour &/or store negative feelings (anger, grief, etc.) towards others or about certain events in their earthly lives. My own furchildren proved that to me themselves (e.g. my furgirl's own grief, even if she was only or partly "mirroring" my own sorrow), as have other animals I've heard about or worked with since. (think, too, about those animals who just "have it in for" other particular animals, or who've stored memories containing fear of vets/clinics/objects/genders of humans, etc.) It is often such traumas &/or other influences that lead to dis-ease, including in nonhumans. Their souls (and "personalities") are just as richly complex and deep as any others are, although most are certainly more loving and still more closely-connected to the Divine than most humans have become. That said though, "blaming" doesn't normally happen with those they've loved, or who have loved them and haven't deliberately mistreated them....yet even then, there are individual exceptions where even under the most horrific abuse, their Higher Selves harbour no resentment towards their abuser if such events played a part in their own soul's evolution, or their own karma. (just wanted to put all this out there for anyone's consideration) But I certainly DO agree that with Lucy and Kacy, I can't even imagine there would be any blame laid, when Kacy's intentions were based on so much love and concern for her girl! And there's everything right about striving to focus on and acknowledge the positive aspects as we mourn...or anytime. But we also need the space and to give ourselves permission to grieve and allow all the crappy feelings a voice, too...else, we'll just bury them deeper down and cause ourselves that much more harm. As for this being "all at Lucy's expense," I think I understand how that feels. At one point, I had much anger toward the "universe" for seemingly having "subjected" particularly my boy (since he crossed first, and suffered more as well) to what he went through (before I knew as much as I learned after, and learned because of his physical death), so I could learn from it. That struck me as a grossly unfair and unloving spiritual system or principle!! How dare the universe 'use' him as some kind of 'test subject' for my growth???!!! At least, that's how I initially reacted to the whole idea. That was until I acknowledged, tough as it was during the throes of grief, that these challenges weren't "all about ME," and neither was my boy's physical death. As a soul, too, he had his own spiritual path to follow, and I had to consider that perhaps his shorter lifespan (this time around, as I believe reincarnation is real) was what he'd chosen for himself, even if that meant he was to be "taken away from me" too soon for my, or even his, liking, once we'd fallen so deeply in love with each other and had shared so MUCH, and on so many levels. That perspective actually lasted quite awhile for me, until "life" played out as it did, and in retrospect/hindsight I realized he'd once again acted as our "Leader," and had paved the way for his sister's even better care. (he loved her, too, mightily) Not only that though, and again in retrospect, after she'd passed too, I realized I'd actually needed pretty much exactly those 6.5 years with her alone, in order to 'prepare' myself 'enough' for letting her go and surviving her death. My beloved boy was/is a very wise and seasoned soul. And I'm convinced we ALL agreed to this timeframe in advance and as a soul family, for each other's Bigger Picture benefit. However, it also turned out that it was actually my girl who really "arranged" for our reunion as a soul family, in her subtler but equally-deep own way. Still, her brother had to "clinch the deal" (at their adoption) for this plan to work out, and we all worked together as a team....with me being the most ignorant of the bunch for a few years! Whether you believe any of this or not, for me, my own soul just feels and knows it as true, and that became how I found some deeper comfort about their losses. But it took some "unfolding" over time, some introspection, and other experiences for me to recognize it all and be able to even see this bigger picture. I've also experienced some other Divine Timing instances in my life, too, but this one contained the largest tapestry of all to date, and was also the most meaningful for me. I do hope some of this may help you during your own grief, and I do think you're doing so much already that will serve you well. It can be a long process for many of us, full of ups and downs, but overall perseverence and commitment to progress, no matter at what speed, is what's key...and I think you have that within you, Kacy. One step, one moment at a time... (sorry for the 2-posts-in-one & hope it wasn't confusing!) Blessings, Maylissa

Dear CharLiesMaMa, I feel the intense pain in your post (I'm an empath), and am so terribly sorry for both your loss, and all that you and your treasured Charlie went through. I can certainly understand how you feel, including the guilty feelings such tragic events induce, as well as the horrific final images and other feelings one is then left with. Since there are no "do-overs" possible that we know of, in a word, it's just inner "torture." When the medical system and vets let us down so badly (no, I'm not going to blithely excuse either here, even though I'm aware you and your spouse are nurses within this system), it is often too much for us to bear, particularly of course when it takes the very life of someone we loved so dearly, and so unpeacefully no less. I have suffered the same kinds of effects caused by very similar types of trauma as you now have suffered, too (although Charlie's story is even worse than mine in some ways), and additionally have also learned of far too many other people and their precious furchildren who have been the unwitting victims of the same sorts of failings. (in my case, mainly with my beloved furchildren, but also with my mother) I'm not sure if you know how appallingly common this kind of thing is in reality, but suffice it to say, you're sadly not alone. Even though I can well imagine the insta-relief you might be hoping to find...as many of us do...these after-effects are often not easy to live with or heal from, and for some of us, they may never heal completely in this lifetime. They do end up "shaping" us, though, and if we're persistent, still in positive ways. At the very least, depending on the process and whatever means we choose for self-healing, we can certainly mitigate and make them more bearable. I could suggest to you many different ways and avenues to consider, but some or even many you may not be amendable to. So instead, I will just say that in the end, the path to healing is through individual preference (and I'd say even one's very "soul path"), and any "silver linings" we may come to recognize and learn by along the way, are formed by whichever path/s we choose to take...those that are right for us. Charlie was/is such a sweet-looking boy, and deserved far better than what he got at the hands of that (yes, ignorant and poorly-trained) vet. I just can't tell you how very sorry I feel about it, having learned far more than I ever wanted to know about such things. But please believe that he would never blame you for what happened, either, because he loved and still loves you, and more purely than most humans ever can, given our usually larger load of "baggage." (and no insult to your human family intended) Hang onto that as you grieve, and try asking Charlie to show you that's true, by whatever means he prefers. I'm sure at some point, he WILL. Your love for him, and his for you, will always be preserved and remain eternal, no matter how else things may look on the surface. It is a foundation you can truly count on. Healing blessings to you, Charlie and your whole family, and a little prayer for Charlie, if I may... May Charlie have been gently guided back to Love, and to the Light, and may his soul be healed of all trauma, in all times, across all dimensions, and forevermore.

All very spot-on! And #3 is one of the BEST things about dream (or other types of) visitations because, unlike our other usual memories, there isn't any "worry" about forgetting anything about them - they're definitely cemented in place! Good idea posting these for everyone, Mark.

Hi Tim, First off, I want to say your tribute to Chinook had me in tears as well......soooo deeply touching, beautifully and creatively composed, and echoing several of the same feelings of loss and longing now a part of my own life, too. But also a reminder to me of the significant and many signs I've personally received from my own kidlets' continuing lives since their transitions....including several through cloud formations, rainbows and the like. There is much I'd love to talk about in response to your post, but I'll focus mainly on your deep questioning and distress over the insensitivities, and I'd add, ignorance, shown to you by those particular people: From what I've observed over the years, most grieving animal parents have also been subjected to such insensitivities and (erroneous, I'd say) "old world" paradigms that discount nonhuman beings to lowlier positions than humans. And this causes enormous amounts of pain to us (and to the animals themselves, of course), just as Kay has expressed so succinctly. However, from a spiritual perspective, as Marty suggested, these are often turning/growth points for us, ones which our own souls may have "pre-ordered" as opportunities for an expansion of our consciousness (including universal consciousness) -- the 'silver lining' of such painful periods, as it were, painful as they may be.What jr made the time and effort to share with you was wonderful, imo, and I recognized many of these same biblical passages from my own research efforts into the subject of the souls of nonhuman beings. (side note: thanks much, jr, for saving me the time to recount those ones myself! ) I have several of the books Marty listed, including the Christian-based one by Niki Behrikis Shanahan (which I bought expressly for the purpose of countering what I call these ridiculous claims against the existence of animals' souls), and would like to add some related information I discovered years ago (which Niki discusses as well), plus one more passage from her book. Whether you share any of this information with those who sought to discount Chinook's soul, or not, at least you'll have this knowledge to integrate into your own journey: The original Hebrew verses used the word "nephesh," which encompassed the meanings of "creature," "life," and more. "Nephesh" was later morphed into the word "soul," but "nephesh" was actually a much more comprehensive term. Of note, nowhere in those texts was there a differentiation made between this term in regards to either humans or nonhumans. (you can always Google the word for many discourses on it, but one fairly comprehensive page can be found here: http://www.pickle-publishing.com/papers/soul-and-spirit.htm ) And from Niki's book, another biblical passage that is key: " But ask now the beasts, and they shall teach thee; and the fowls of the air, and they shall tell thee: Or speak to the earth, and it shall teach thee: and the fishes of the sea shall declare unto thee. Who knoweth not in all these that the hand of the Lord hath wrought this? In Whose hand is the soul of every living thing, and the breath of all mankind." - Job 12:7-10 She further makes the point that "the original Hebrew word translated as "of every living" is "chay" which means "every living thing, man and animal." A "Humane Religion" website I've also often referred to and which is animal-focused, is:http://www.all-creatures.org/hr/hragod.htm On the particular page above you can read an article about "God's Covenant with All Creatures." Another wonderful book in my collection, but not included in Marty's list is 'The Soul of Your Pet: Evidence for the Survival of Animals After Death," by Scott S. Smith: http://www.amazon.com/The-Soul-Your-Pet-Evidence/dp/1558184023 The first Customer Review, when you scroll down, gives a very good synopsis of it, and I highly recommend this book...along with Kim Sheridan's. I had a brilliant quote by someone stored for reference, but the webpage doesn't exist now and I can't find the quote again online. However, it was a woman who said something about heaven not being heaven to her if her animal loves weren't there. The logic behind this struck me as key point, that being, despite what anyone says about their souls, if ours are part of the Divine and we wish to be reunited with whomever our loved ones are, then wouldn't it stand to reason that, if nothing else, our wishes would be honoured? Aside from all this, and mainly because of my own experiences with signs from my kidlets, and trust in how the Divine imparts things of import to me, I could talk for days about all the apparent evidence of why I believe my furkids' souls still exist, still connect with me, and remain a part of my life, and also of my own soul, merged together with theirs forever. (yet the missing them in the physical still isn't easy!) In fact, I have also come to believe that there isn't actually any difference between "nonhuman" or "human" souls. By that I mean, souls are souls are souls, all of/from the Divine/Source/whatever you may call It, and with no speciesism or humanly-contrived separation existing at all to differentiate between one soul and another. In other words, I don't believe there is any "heirarchy" of souls. (and even beyond that, my soul FEELS, and I've experienced clairvoyance w/this as well, that my fur-boy and I were also once human spouses in another lifetime) Logic dicates that if this were not so, it would make a total mockery of the spiritual teaching that "All IS One." It's akin to erroneously thinking the Divine forgives you for everything.....but that one unkind remark you made back in Grade 3! To my mind (and more importantly, to my heart, the "seat of the soul"), All couldn't be One except for THIS thing or THAT, this living being or that. If that were so, there IS no "One," as the whole idea of One would, by It's own nature, have to emcompass everything and everyone, all at once, and as a whole. Many people think that's "radical" or "extremist," but frankly, I don't care what anyone else may think of it. To my soul, that's how it feels and how I sense it to be, and what the animals have taught me as well. And I truly and deeply believe it's because of my sacred relationship/soul-bond with my kidlets that I evolved into this perspective. If not for them and their brilliant souls..... Of course we each have to walk our own paths, and in our own ways, but I hope I may have provided at least some food for thought, or just as importantly, some small comfort to you in your days of mourning and spiritual inquiry. And of course no one could replace your beloved Chinook, as we're ALL unique, soul-wise, even whilst being drops that make up the ocean. Might I suggest you ask, and allow your fur-boy to guide and teach you that which you most seek to know? He may well be your very wisest teacher of all.

Mark, this is just wonderful news, and I'm so happy for you & Bicky!! You'd said, ...and that you felt "so connected with him, so complete and content" and "warm and thankful" afterwards. All hallmark expressions and senses of visitations/ADCs.....woo-HOO!!! And you're SO fortunate that you got to hold and nuzzle your Bicky-boy again, too, just like "normal"! Their big, fuzzy love for us never dies, nor do their teachings, and I'm just THRILLED for you! Similarly, I got to hold my Sabin-boy (in 'dream' visitations) twice, hearing and feeling his big purr (once), feeling our auras/souls/hearts merging once again, and being so immediately calmed and grounded by his presence, as it always had been between us. And just this year, I finally got to experience my Nissa-girl's incredible KISSES again, too. In fact, just this May 9, I also finally got THE one sign from my gal that I've been asking, yearning & totally pining for, for over 6.5 years now -- what I dubbed her cherished "Heaven-Sent Heaven Scent"!!! -- experienced right on her bed-side picture that evening when I kissed her good-night!!! (haven't had time to post this separately, so thought I'd at least share a snippet of it here) So I know how incredibly precious and blessed such moments are when they occur. And no matter how brief, they're still so FULL, precious and never to be forgotten, just as our furbabies and their lives aren't. Thanks so much for sharing your own experience with us all, and I hope for many MORE for you both!

Kristen, (just an fyi: I'm only on here again this morning because I happened to get up stupidly early, not being able to stay asleep. normally, I'm too overwhelmed with to-do's this year to manage much of any forum time, just so you're aware and not disappointed if I abruptly disappear again for some time, i.e., it's nothing personal! ) I can only imagine how dreadful it must be for you not having Marcus there anymore, and I feel so badly for you. While I at least still have my H, I can highly relate to the intense missing of "what was," including the great joy of hearing and watching one's partner having wonderful playtimes with a furkid. (those chasing games are right up my own alley, too, and ferrets are SO energetic & amusing, much like most catties are, given half a chance) We get regular visits from & have sat for one neighbour's cats, so we're like their "alternate" parents. Lately, our feline gf has begun daily, high-octane playing with us (but mainly me), suddenly much more akin to how our own furkids (and the 3 others mentioned below) always had. So hearing my H and her in a session like this the other evening....sounds that I haven't had the pleasure of hearing for quite some time now.....turned out to be an ambiguous mix of both delight and unanticipated melancholy. Part of these feelings are also wrapped up in the big sorrow I still carry over another treasured feline buddy and his brother (and actually, also their predecessor, belonging to the same negligent, irresponsible & uncaring family; she died [or was conveniently 'euthanized'], at only 1 yr old), (all of) whom we'd been helping care for, had fallen in love with and then tried to adopt (the 2 boys, that is). They refused our offers, then suddenly moved, taking the 2 boys with them, then "gave away" the one I was the closest to, & worse, split the 2 poor brothers up! It's a long, complicated and painful story, but I've sensed this one furboy is actually now dead; his bro I've just seen again at the new location, so I know he's still alive. But the point is, I never even got time to grieve his/their leaving, and also felt compelled to give up a Divinely-orchestrated chance I received to get at least the one I was closest to back, so there's a lot of unresolved stuff mixed in. And yet, I/we still feel I was meant to become their mother, somehow, some way.....oh, to be able to see all the why's and wherefores of that Bigger Picture, and what those soul contracts were all about! I'm so pleased you're getting a lot out of Bob's sites. But I'm sorry, I don't know anything specifically about wind chimes, other than I'd expect Spirit can use those to come through just as well as any other medium. (my Mother came through, for instance, through both light fixtures and a dangling crystal plant ornament, plus others) As to your desired colour for a yin-yang symbol (also associated, for me, with my 2 furkids!), couldn't you just spray paint them w/an interior/exterior paint to get what you want? (yin-yang symbols are classically done in black & white, or "dark & light," to represent those qualities of the Yin & Yang definitions) I actually have an earring & pendant set I bought through the Animal Rescue Site, that's of 2 Yin & Yang cats (also carry dogs/dog & cat, maybe others?), if you might also like something like that, too: https://theanimalrescuesite.com/store/ars/item/35222/sterling-yin-and-yang-animal-lovers-earrings?source=4-373-24 For urging spirit to come, imo, all one needs is the desire, and it can help to ask them in some way. At first, I often held the intention "in whatever way is best for me," to cover all bases & keep it open. Now that's just a "given" for me, so I don't need to bother focussing on it. Sometimes, when upset, I'd even WAIL out my requests, and then just stay alert & open to whatever means and signs might be forthcoming in the next few minutes, hours, days or weeks. As with your grief, I'd suggest just giving yourself permission to accept that ANYTIME is fine, and will be the "perfect" time for YOU. After you put that request out there, that's when the suggestion to at least create a BIT of "quieter" space in your head, at least at some point & even if only in short moments here & there, might help...but I believe that's NOT so much for them to come through, but mainly for you to NOTICE that they are! But this can also happen in mere seconds, when you're taking a deep, long breath, or just noticing something else/distracted a bit. So it's not like you have to be in some deep, meditative Zen state for any given length of time. Maybe it mainly depends on the overall state of your spiritual consciousness, though, because for me, I was already pretty intuitive, aligned with, and aware of the metaphysical (because of my animals' teachings) when the bulk of this "took off." On the other paw, my very first experience of an audible visitation took place when I was in my early teens, when my cherished (2nd) budgie chirped his familiar "you're home!" greeting after he'd crossed. But additionally, I've been very connected to animals "forever," so it's also likely a combination of my whole history. For a good example, though, when Sabin paid me & his sister one of his most powerful visits, my heart was still constantly in searing pain, and I was simply getting ready for bed (that miniscule moment of 'quietER,' or just exhausted by the pain, but still not at all what I'd call "calm"!), when he showed up. In fact, for me, I've noticed that my kids most often send a sign when my heart is feeling really empty & broken, I'm pining for them and longing for them to be with me. Or after some traumatic event, when I'm yearning for the love only they could give me. No special skills or conditions are really needed, imo. If they were, then I'd think people who've actually seen & interacted with even solid-seeming spirit forms of other people's loved ones (both human & nonhuman), whilst doing nothing in particular, wouldn't have such experiences, either. Heck, they didn't even ASK, nor were waiting for anyone to come through, and yet, it happens. (see Scott. S. Smith's book, "The Soul of Your Pet," for such examples) You might want to also visit the Googenheim's ADC site, to reference the countless ways (and other beings!) Spirit can come through, so you're more aware of them ahead of time.....although, there's also something to be said for being more ignorant (as I initially was), then awesomely surprised, so as not to put any self-imposed limitations into your own head! : http://www.after-death.com/Pages/About/ADC.aspx I hope this all helps you relax more about it, but even if it doesn't quell your anxiety, try to trust that you'll find the ways that are best for YOU, and that one way or another, and when the timing's best for your own soul's plan, Marcus and/or whomever else, will let you know they're there. And it may even be through Marcus's Sadie! Take tender care, Maylissa

Kristen, Those pics of your ferret-kids (and your beloved Marcus, I presume?) are sublime, and ever so cute!! Thanks for posting these so-sweet moments. I'm also so glad you subscribed to Bob's lists/sites, and I'm sure you'll get much out of both his vids and his newsletter articles. I know I do.....when I have time, that is. Ah, yes, the guilt.....especially when it comes to the decisions we have to make on behalf of our furred, feathered or scaled babies, there's almost always something we beat ourselves up for. And those "blurs".......yes, I've seen them many a time, and then stand there straining and wishing SO BADLY that I could just rip that false illusion of a veil clear away, so I could see more FULLY and never have to feel at ALL apart from my kidlets ever again! That is of course what stops us from being able to truly see, as in with our physical eyes -- the deep-seated belief that we "can't," or that it's "hard," etc. *sigh* But I also very much treasure the audible signs I still sometimes get, like hearing my girl jump down onto the countertop, just as she always did from her "hidey-hole" above the fridge, and whose sound I was so blessed to hear so many times after her transition. But because we've since renovated much of the house, including the entire kitchen, when I heard THAT just the other week, I was, to say the least, absolutely THRILLED out of my mind!!! You see, we also changed the countertops from what they were, as well as the fridge, and the type of cupboards above the fridge, so while earthly physics would imply a jump such as this wasn't even possible anymore. And this shouldn't have even sounded the same as it did before, and yet.....it DID....so wink-wink, in the ways of Spirit, anything is possible/do-able!! I've said it here before, but I'll say it again. It's really worthwhile journalling any and all signs you receive. When my grief was fresh and raw, I went through a period where I despaired of even getting any from my girl, especially when her brother's had been so BIG and undeniable. But when they did start coming, well......I've got a massive list now, of all sorts of ADCs, and can't even document all of them anymore, life's become so busy. But I still know there are always LOTS sent & received, and if my life ever settles down again, I'll be back at transcribing them all, since w/o them, I don't know how I'd carry on, either, even today. Also, I'd actually forgotten (horrors!) one of the best ones, so having it down in writing was a god-send.

Thanks, Marty, for spelling out for everyone how to find older posts! I know I've found some I'd been looking for specifically another way, but for the life of me, can't remember now how I did it! It was, however, through using the Advanced Search mode. But your way sounds more direct, so more helpful. Mwah! (for some reason....think it's my currently overloaded laptop....I can't see any "reply" buttons underneath people's posts at present, so am having to just do general replies & let them 'stack' underneath the rest....ah well)

And as always, you're most welcome, Marty! And thanks for adding them to your own lists -- I always SO appreciate seeing such great organization and thoroughness! Hope you're doing well yourself, xo Maylissa

Dear Mark, No worries about "hijacking" this thread - you're just responding, and nothing wrong with that! I'm not surprised in the least that you've "hit a wall," as you say. The "missing them" component of bereavement rises and falls, too, and for some of us, it never really ends, and sometimes actually gets worse, depending on this or that....especially at Angelversaries and other such milestones, or during other upsetting times. So I understand your feeling of desperation, really and truly. I've personally found that those holes never really close, either, even though (the more hopeful part) they aren't always so raw-ly sore all the time, over time. Others I've met also say they feel the same, especially those who've experienced such soul-deep and rich relationships with their nonhuman mates. (not all people do) Since you mentioned it, you may want to check out what I just posted about "Lost Pets" resources, as included in that site is a fairly large list of Animal Communicators who don't do ONLY "lost pet" communications (in fact, many don't take on that specific work for various reasons), but general ones as well, and yes, of course, including animals in spirit. I personally know some of these people (since I do a modicum of this type of work, too, and have also hired a few myself through the yrs) and have heard several good things about some of the others. You could check out their individual sites and see who you're drawn to &/or google their names as well, since some have been mentioned/reviewed by members on other sites. Oftentimes, desperation is the impetus that leads us to "wild and wonderful" experience, abiding comfort, new knowledge and growth, and an even greater lifetime legacy from our furkids. It's not a bad thing to be skeptical, as long as you don't keep yourself SO tightly close-minded that you can't allow yourself to see the forest for the trees. I suspect, though, that if you do your homework first and choose someone who resonates with you in some important way/s, you'll end up with a treasured and personally-meaningful connection to (& communication with) Bicky that will even grow on its own afterwards (they LOVE it when we connect with them!....in fact, I can "see" Bicky leaping up and smiling for JOY at the prospect), and which you can carry with you forevermore. These don't always take away all the pain, of course, but they sure can help during the journey through it! A friendly tip: if you go for it, ask some questions that don't easily give away the answer you may "want to hear," so you can KNOW a "validation" for certain when you hear it. That said, sometimes the most stunning validations come through in the simplest of ways, and when and where you least expect it. I also think I'd written myself of some of my own experiences with these here, somewhere, long ago, as had some others. Not sure if you can find them easily now though, w/o going through all the past posts under my or other members' names. It's a real chore since the site was revamped. But best of luck in your potential quest, and please DO let us all know if you get a "reading" with Bicky, who you hired, and how it went for you! Maylissa (and Nissa & Sabin!)

LOST ANIMALS If your companion animal is missing/lost, in order to maximize the chances for a happy return, rather than having to suffer a more definitive loss, my first piece of advise would be to do web searches for "lost animals resources" or the like....and follow as much of the advise from each site as you can! In conjunction, were it me, I'd hire a recommended Animal Communicator from one of the lists provided, as an invaluable aid and understanding counsellor during such trauma. There are several good sites out there now, but I will list just one of the most helpful & info-packed ones I've found through the years, as a start. Many of the other ones I've favoured are listed within this site anyway: This is an excellent "lost pet" resource site compiled by Morgine Jurdan, a well-known Animal Communicator who also includes this service as part of her work with/for animals. Please check out ALL the categories listed there, as there are several lists, each under different headings: http://findalostpetresources.com/ TREED CATS RESCUE SERVICES If your, or someone else's cat, is ever stuck in a tree and cannot (or will not) get down on their own, PLEASE do NOT leave them up there, hoping "they'll come down eventually, on their own." Cats have suffered and died this way, and fire departments apparently often do NOT mythically provide rescue help for these situations, although you could always ask, of course. Of immense interest and relief to me, I recently came across this helpful site and resource. Dan Kraus, an arborist and award-winning tree climber, has rescued more than 950 cats to date (!!! ) and offers his service, helpful tips and other info, PLUS a directory listing of other arborists who also help rescue cats stuck in trees across the US, Canada and even Internationally. Each place where they are available for hire, is under his "Directory." But also invaluable is all the other info he provides on treed cats and what you should & should not do. I would also highly suggest anyone peruse his whole site well in ADVANCE of such a scenario ever happening, to be prepared and avoid making possibly lethal mistakes, should a dear cattie ever get stuck in a tree. http://www2.catinatreerescue.com/view/Directory_view.cfm?directory_id=1

Hi catlore, Yes, there are many good books out there, too, that can really help expand our understanding, and experiences, to bring more comfort when we need it. Thanks for posting one that helped you here. That's one I don't actually have, although I've heard much about it. I do, however, have one of Brian Weiss, M.D.'s other books, "Messages from the Masters," and also know a fellow animal-centric psychologist who trained under him in past-life regression. (something I'd still love to experience myself, someday) Your kidlets are beautiful! And the 2nd one (Turkish Van type, w/the 'cap'; is that Lucy?) reminds me of a furboy who so wanted to be ours, but it sadly didn't work out that way. (he was, however, adopted out to another couple)

You're most welcome, Mark and Kristen, and I'm glad the videos are of help to each of you. And since I'm here and have a few minutes.... Mark, I hope your bereavement over Bicky is easing up a wee bit now (but if it isn't, I'd fully understand) and that you're still working on your loving mini-novel as part of your beautiful fur-boy's legacy. I know it's, as I always put it, only been 2 years (and now almost 4 months) for you, and that might feel like just "yesterday" as yet. Not to discourage you, but simply to share, I just passed the 6 yr, 8 month mark for my Nissa-girl, and I'm still left breathless that it's really been that long in earthly-time, when it seems like it couldn't possibly be more than HALF that length, at most. But I also had an epiphany when briefly reflecting on this, since I've also learned this is a very common feeling among the grieving: Perhaps, what this feeling is really about, is a reflection, or remembrance, of our REAL home, our spiritual Home, where there IS no such thing as linear, earthly time. And so, what we're experiencing when we're (sadly) remembering being with those we love so deeply and have 'lost,' is actually just being more closely in touch with our soul's innate Knowingness of "no time at all." It gave me great comfort to sense that this might be the case, and by extension, that this is what our loved ones experience, except more so and fully, as they 'wait' for us to join with them once again in that "eternity." To me, this brings much relief, as I would never want my furkids to have suffered even one iota of this "missing" of me, their mom and soulmate, as I have of them. In any case, I DO always make sure to read your "installments" each and every time I get notice of one, even if I don't have time left to post anything in return, so know that you're providing benefit to many, whether you hear about it or not. And please always do your best to slough off any and all unenlightened humans' disregard of your grief, those ("lost souls") who don't recognize that Bicky was never, and will never be, "just a dog." WE know far better, and from within our very hearts and souls, where it really counts. Please give my very best to Naoko, too. ____________________________________________________________________________ I'm very sorry for all of your losses, Kristen, and can't imagine how hard it must be to have recently lost the man of your dreams, too, on top of all the others. I hope you and Luna will be of great support to each other as your shared grief journey unfolds, and that you will take good care of each other, even through the deep sorrow. As you may already know, our animal companions are often the best "therapists" of all, in both good times and bad. But we also must see to their needs in their own grief, and no matter how long theirs lasts, too. Like you, I too, find death very difficult (and lengthy) to process....this, despite all the awe-inducing things I've learned and experienced along the way. So I haven't 'solved' that one for myself as yet, and maybe I never will, or am ever meant to in this lifetime. But perhaps it gives me, and you, and those like us, other gifts in exchange -- like added sensitivity for others, more patience and willingness to allow for the process of sorrow, and other tender and useful aids such as these....as the blessings in what might otherwise be viewed as a shortcoming. I see you've also heard that being in a calmer state helps us connect to our loved ones (as these videos also suggest), and while I'd say this might be usually true, I still maintain it's not a "cast in stone" prerequisite for receiving signs from them, or even for talking (sending) to them. So please try not to add that extra, and possibly unnecessary pressure on yourself. Signs from our loved ones very often come at the perfect times for us, regardless of how we're doing. To this day, I know my furbabies almost never fail to send their ever-loving support (through a sign) when I'm the MOST upset about something, far and above over when I'm feeling more okay. That is, after all, what real love is about, and so my "forever" darlings prove that to me, time after time after time. I would also encourage anyone, and no matter the type of loss, to spend some time watching Bob's many other inspiring video interviews on his site, as the more aware we all become of our spiritual journeys and depths, the more our Collective Consciousness as a whole rises, and thus the faster and more fully evolved we become, which can only be another aid in decreasing our common fears &/or pains.....a really GOOD thing, imo. Take care, everyone, Maylissa

As always, heartfelt thank you's BACK, Marty. I miss you and the GH family and its opportunity for support. However, it's been an extremely challenging past 2 years for me (and ongoing), so I've seldom had enough time left in a day to come by and share, either about my own personal struggles, or with resources for others. Today I made a small exception. But I guess the good news is that there IS so much more out there now than there was even just a few years ago, so "yay." xox Maylissa

Dearest Animal Parents, Along the same vein as the previous, posted topic and interview (Do Pets Go To The Afterlife?), I also caught these other ones from Bob Olson, that I found even deeper and more useful. These interviews -- "Your Soul’s Gift To You: Understanding The Life Your Soul Planned For You, and "Does Our Soul Plan Life Challenges Before Birth?", both with Robert Schwartz, go into more depth about our soul's pre-birth (pre-incarnation) planning in concert with other souls (our soul families or groups) &/or our Guides. Of key note for animal parents is the discussion of Robert's new book, which includes a dedicated chapter on "the pre-birth planning we do with our future pets." (apparently, this topic was in HIGH DEMAND by his readers! ) Such information can of course aid in our understanding of not only WHY things happened as they did (and how there are "no real mistakes" in terms of the soul's perspective), but HOW our furbabies are so inextricably tied into our soul's journey, from even before they incarnated to become a part of our earthly families and lives. This in turn would lend more meaning to our grief journey, as well as to our lives and its most traumatic experiences as a whole. This is certainly a good chunk of what I'd ended up learning myself, over the course of the transitions of both my fur-son and fur-daughter, and several other feline loves who had since come into, then gone out of my life. The physical loss can still hurt terribly, but knowing it's not all "meaningless" or "random" or "in error" is of great help, nonetheless. I plan on buying at least Robert's 2nd book, but want to get myself a Kindle first, as I no longer have enough room for more hard copy books! So I can't offer a review of it yet. However, I found even these video interviews very helpful, all on their own: http://www.afterlife...birth-planning/ You can access Robert's pertinent info directly from the links below the interview. As well, Robert provides a free pdf meditation, some other free pdf's, and a free excerpt from one of his books, here: http://www.yoursouls...index.php/books You can also buy only the chapters you're interested in to read on a Kindle, if so desired. (see his book's listing on Amazon) For the animals and their people, and to our co-joined healing, xox Maylissa NOTE: For those more active on these boards, or with more time than I, this info could be of benefit to members suffering ANY kind of loss, so please pass along to other forums if you are able - thx kindly!)

Dear Animal Parents, Another of many resources (finally, these days!) for those of us who have, or are still suffering due to the transitions of our priceless furbabies (or just peacefully reflecting about same), is that of the "afterlife" evidence so many more people are taking a greater interest in nowadays. (myself, I've come to term it what I think is a more apt "Continuing Life") One of my favourite interviewers of this topic has become Bob Olson, with his "Afterlife TV" online series, as well as his other afterlife sites/resources. Regarding the physical deaths of animal companions, Bob did an interview (in 2011) with Danielle Mackinnon, another Animal Communicator, which included learning about our soul contracts with our animals, and how knowing about and understanding those can lend meaning and healing to our grieving process. While some of my own experiences, as well as other people's I've known, have differed and been more inclusive than some of Danielle's (e.g. receiving messages from those I've lost even during the rawest parts of grief), many may find her content of great help and comfort, regardless. My advice would be to always question, or at least take with a grain of salt, whatever someone else claims as a 'final' answer, and allow for your OWN experiences to teach you what is possible. With that suggestion in mind, you can listen to this interview here, and as always, I hope this, too, serves to bring some comfort in your grief: http://www.afterlife...011/09/21/pets/ For the animals and their people, xox Maylissa

Hi Ann, We must be on the same wave-length of this day's energy, as I felt the same way as you for the better part of today. I've lost so many loves and other things near & dear to me over the past year and a half, that I'm very depleted and wondering if I'll ever be able to create my own happiness again, either in similar measure or to the same degree as in "yore." Everything that's happened, and every stage of each, feels like another "lifetime." But I'm glad the video helped cheer you up a bit. (it's always nice to be of help to someone! ) For me, unfortunately, it was part of my renewed (holiday-time) grief over my fur-kids' transitions....and the loss of THE BEST lifetime-within-a-lifetime I was ever gifted with....as well as for all the other furry friends I'd come to love and "mother" since -- all also now gone over just a few, short years. I've got a lot of grief all bottled up, and no time yet in which to work through it. So I understand the "each new loss" compounding things. *sigh* On the plus side, my kidlets always know when their Mom is feeling so poorly, and still work to lift her spirits....as they did later this afternoon, with signs of their "numbers," seen side-by-side at a postal outlet I happened to be at, along with the number of my age when our Sabin passed! Just as we all were in earthly life together, we're still "side by side" with each other, forever and always. :-} Still, I miss them, and my other dear loves, more than words could ever say....all "babies of mine."

You're more than welcome, Marty! Thanks for the "disclosure," too -- good to know I'm not the only one who's borrowed others' poetic words as needed! Wish I'd done the same, though.....saving my own composites for whenever or whatever. Good planning on your part! ________________________________________________________ Also thanks for testing out the embedding for me, and I'm so happy to see it's worked just fine! Obviously, I haven't kept up with tech. changes, as I was still looking for the "embed code" phrase, vs. "Share," and the last time I'd embedded anything to a site, it was a slightly longer procedure. I'd post "Baby of Mine" right to the Loss of Pet forum right now, but I just don't have time left to spare....so at least it's here in this forum.

Dear Marty & GH Members, I just wanted to let everyone know that since I've got yet another sympathy card/letter to write to a friend, and am currently in need of inspiration, I've just purchased another of Marty's helpful resources for my own present & future use.....her "Heartfelt Condolence Letters" ebook (plus 2 gift bonuses - Helping Another in Grief and the link to Grief Songs: Music for a Grieving Heart). For those who may also be interested, I purchased it through http://healingebooks...condolence.html I must say, Marty, the letters you've written & are sharing are so eloquently done, I'm just blown away, and while I've actually had the above link bookmarked for some years, I'm so happy I finally got around to actually ordering your offering! Some of your heart-centred phrases had me in instant tears, exclaiming "oh MY!...oh MYYYY!....what a stunningly beautiful way to put that!!!" What a great wordsmith you are! So I'd like to thank you here for putting together this great, little ebook, that will help me in my own time of all-level exhaustion, and therefore, lack of normal response-ability...ha. Naturally, though, I've also become all caught up again in the Grief Songs postings, instead of actually getting down to writing that condolence letter! (also added another one there again myself while I was at it, for grieving parents, animal or human) Hmmm -- Related Question: does GH's new format also support embeddeding videos into posts?...nothing's leaping out at me here with the option of "HTML On - Auto Line Break Mode." In any case, I'd highly recommend Marty's ebook for anyone who may be at a loss for words when wishing to express their own sympathy and understanding of another's grief. And I also appreciate Marty covering some of the "trickier" death situations one may be faced with, too, such as with colleagues, former spouses, etc. Thank-you , Marty, for such a handy guide!

Mark, you have my deepest sympathies and empathy on Bicky's One Year Anniversary. If you're like me and many other animal parents, those "firsts" feel virtually impossible to bear, and time is often sensed as compressed, where a year only really feels like maybe days, or weeks at best, yet conversely also feels like an eternity at the same time. Bicky's date being right around the holidays doesn't help, either, I'm sure. My own feline fur-son, Sabin, was in Emerg. on New Year's Eve, 1999, and his earthly life only held out for another month after that...and my Mother passed on a Jan.2 as well...so "holidays" and I are certainly not the nicest combination anymore, despite the number of years that have passed. As you guessed, these feelings most often remain with us to one degree or another, depending on many personal factors, and as another part of our "new normal." But if we're learning from them and using them in personally meaningful ways, we can then "live" our legacies to our loved ones in a higher way -- one that does some justice to our cherished ones and the love we grew together. I thank you for sharing Bicky's last days with us, as I (and likely others here) have been holding my breath all this time, wondering how it went for both of you, and what exactly happened. I, too, remember many anxiety-ridden "flashlight days," and always being primed for "instantly awake" mode as needed. It's very depleting, yet speaks volumes of our true love and dedication to the furry family members we hold so very dear to our hearts. And so I'm so glad you were right there with your precious baby boy, not just for that night, but for all those months preceding his transition, and that he was one of the more fortunate few (nonhuman or human) who returned to spirit in such a peaceful and natural way, and in the most loving atmosphere of his home as well. He most certainly deserved such blessings. You have made Bicky a part of all of us who have been reading your wonderful recounting of your family's life together, and so he lives still, in our hearts and minds, as well as in yours, Naoko's and your extended family's. He will always be remembered, treasured and loved by many, no matter how long the passage of linear time. Never doubt that your deep love for him reaches and embraces him still. In hopes this may help you, I offer one of the best-written articles on animal companion loss I've seen to date, by one of my favourite people in the world, Teresa Wagner: Pet Loss & The Holidays: Four Things To Consider When Grieving During the Holidays Wishing you every strength and surrender that you may need in your own heart's healing, and joining you in your pain and remembrances, Many Soothing Purrs, Maylissa

Thanks for the further elucidation on all this, Marty, sad as it is. But perhaps I can add something of use, too, as I and my much computer-savvier H have been frenetically finding and saving much of my own "history" here over the past 2 days. Maybe I'm missing something key and don't even know it (wouldn't be the first time!), but all we did was use the Advance Search function here to find all posts/topics I'd posted in under each forum I wanted to capture, right clicked to open each one listed in a new window, used "save as" to copy them into folders we set up on my computer, renamed each file as I saw fit (using the ".html" ending for each), and that was it! It appears that all "outside" links included will still work, but obviously not the internal ones. Of course it still took us both several hours (with my faster-typing H getting the bulk of them done - praise be to him!), but I think I've got most of them now. We ended up doing much the same for each outstanding PM that hadn't already been archived under the (older) archiving system that was once available here - C&Ping each one separately as you'd suggested. I also captured my Profile page as above as well, to make it easier to re-set up again later, whenever I get the chance. That said, it seems as if even the current site hadn't saved/transferred all of my oldest posts, as I'm pretty sure I'd had quite a few more in certain forums from way back, such as in Loss of Parent....or my memory's just more shot than I realize??? Unfortunately, I don't have enough time to really investigate more into that right now. It's also quite strange that the site shows me as logged in, yet is currently treating me in certain areas as if I'm not even a member, e.g. telling me I can't post new topics; my avatar is missing on certain pages only; under the Search feature, my name came up as a "contributor," not a "member"; and even posting my initial reply here netted the message that it would have to be reviewed by the moderator (you) before being posted. ??? I don't know what's up with all that, but it's certainly very odd! I suppose we can all just hope that the new site is even more user-friendly and includes more and better features (that are also easy to understand!) as a trade-off for all this angst and work, but it's a real shame they can't transfer everything over. I know on another board I used, they upgraded their system once and nothing was lost and much was gained, but I'm not sure if the actual server changed, so perhaps that's why. I feel badly for all of us, including another older member I know who hasn't the time right now, either, to save her own past posts and is quite upset about it. Luckily, some of my own captures include a bit of her material, too, so I can at least pass those few on to her. And naturally, I can well imagine the huge headache it will be for you, to re-set up everything (links, etc.) you've so carefully and lovingly added here through the years! Someone should give you an assistant for a month or more...and then a lovely, paid vacation for you both! Many of us knew 2012 was going to require many big shifts for the world, but who knew it would so personally affect the Grief Healing site, too? The irony is rich for such an event on such a specific type of site, no? - another change and "loss" to cope with, and another "new beginning" at the same time. Here's to adopting new organizational habits in 2012 -- C&P and save whatever is important to us as we go along!

Hi Marty, Saving posts aside, do you know if you can also archive past PMs that haven't already been archived, even if your PM folders aren't full yet? I'd asked this question elsewhere previously, but no one had an answer, and I still don't see any option button to archive PMs whenever one chooses, as there used to be provided in the Messenger system. Or will all current PM folders be saved and moved over to the new server anyway, so no need to worry about this? In fact, is there anything else that will get deleted along the way, e.g. our profiles, avatars, member ranking (as seems to have been changed/lost last time), any account info, passwords, etc.? This has been very upsetting news, since I've had almost zero time to do all this saving, with over 500 posts to my name through all these years & no time to be selective in which particular ones to save - yikes! And still no exact date when this move happens?

Oh, Marty!!! I'm SO VERY sorry to learn about your beloved Beringer transitioning!!! Not having been around here much in the last year and so wholly unaware of Beringer's declining condition, I could hardly believe my eyes, and my heart just sank for you and your husband. And so of course I also realize, and remember keenly, just how "unbelievable" and devastating the loss of one's furbaby feels to those closest to them in heart and soul. You have my utter sympathy, dear friend...ever so much of it and more than I can express! But I must also apologize for the long delay in expressing my deepest condolences here. It was unfortunately just a case of bad timing, falling right before my own Nissa's 5th Angelversary (a day after Beringer's passing, so, sadly, we have a close date in common now ), a trip away the next day, and a whole summer full of losses and (still ongoing) problems for me. I watched the video on your blog and cried my eyes out, for you, and with you, as well as for myself. It's all so heart-wrenchingly true. Thank you for posting that (as I, too, needed it) and for explaining Beringer's story more fully to us all. His ordeal sounds to have been as difficult as many of our own furbabies' were, and naturally, was I'm sure so hard on all of you. Yet it was so good to know he was with his loving and fully supportive family throughout, and right to the last...what better "final gift" to have given your so dearly loved boy? The fact that you're already focusing on some of the lessons we can learn from such deep losses is certainly a huge testament to all that you have learned, and taught others, in your life's work. Even in the depths of your own grief, you're a remarkable inspiration to us all. But I do hope that, if you do succumb to "falling apart" anywhere along this journey into grief, you feel you don't have to be any different from any of us, should you need shoulders to weep on or hands to hold. As you so succinctly put it, you're "not the only student here," and I'm quite sure we'd all be more than willing to cradle you, just as readily as you've cradled us as needed through the years. After all, that's what "family" is for. In hopes that it might help you regarding that very lesson you'd mentioned, I'd like to share an experience I had very recently while away in the mountains. A good girlfriend had suggested to me that I connect with the mountains while there, to take in some of their great wisdom during my own recent challenges. And so I eventually happened upon a certain mountain, with 2 divergent peaks, one of which emanated a "male" energy, and the other a "female" energy that I was drawn to and from whom I felt a comforting presence. 'They' wanted to speak to me of "Permanence" vs. "Impermanence." I was gently reminded that there is really nothing that is permanent, and YET, paradoxically at the same time, there is also nothing that is really impermanent, either, as we're all part of the One, the energy 'soup' that makes up everything. In our walk beside this beautiful lake, flanked by these mountain peaks, there had been occasional, short gusts of wind that would flare up and then subside. It was during one of the quiet lulls that I'd sat down to commune with this mountain, and I'd since forgotten all about those gusts, as I was then basking in the warm sun and quietude of the peaceful lake. But suddenly, I was given the message that "like the wind, which can change in an instant, and shift again in another, seeming to feel and sound different....is it not STILL The Wind?" I knew they were of course speaking metaphorically, about my beloveds, about even myself, and the All that Is, and this message touched me deeply and profoundly within. The tears came then, both of sorrow and of gratitude mixed together, similarly to this seemingly double-gendered mountain whose wisdom and comfort graced me with its kind and empathetic gifts that afternoon. I had also never really been a fan of the mountains. They've always struck me as seeming cold and hard - not my "cup of tea." Yet in that moment, the LOVE from them poured forth into my soul, and now my perspective of them has markedly shifted as well, bringing me a most-welcome enjoyment of their mighty presence. I hope their message to me might do the same for you...if not now, then at some "perfect" time in the future, when you're ready. Beringer is STILL Beringer, and what he was to you, he still is and will always be, no matter what 'form' he is in. Your love for each other will always be an energetic "force" that cannot disappear, but only grow in INclusivity...never to be destroyed, and always to be cherished, nurtured and carried within you, and as part of you, and of everything. Just as it says in one of my favourite poems that brings me a huge measure of comfort and calm: All Is Well Death is nothing at all, I have only slipped into the next room I am I and you are you Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. Call me by my old familiar name, Speak to me in the easy way which you always used Put no difference in your tone, Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household world that it always was, Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it. Life means all that it ever meant. It it the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, Just around the corner. All is well. Henry Scott Holland 1847-1918 My heart breaks with you, Marty, and even with such words designed for comfort, I fully understand how horribly painful your loss must be for both you and your husband. Please be gentle with yourself during these most difficult times and know that you're being thought of with much love and sympathy, every single day. Purrs and many furry {{{{{{{{{{{HUGS!!!!}}}}}}}}}} Maylissa