Maylissa

Thanks for that, Mary. I haven't felt like doing anything for months now, yet have pushed myself, at least somewhat. That's worked for me at times before, but not now. Everything I look at, inside OR out, is just a painful reminder of who's missing there, and all we used to do together in ever-increasing frequency through all of those 5 years. At the end (and when we kept the kitts for their last month here, so had them AAAAALLLLL to ourselves, w/o the neighbours' daily nonsense/neglect to deal with), we got even closer of course, and got to do even more fun stuff together, and whenever WE wanted....so they really felt like "mine and mine alone." This is all such a slap in the face to everything I've done, and all I'd stood for and became, that I don't even know what my purpose in being here is anymore. Like you'd said in your own thread, I just want to scream, too, even if for slightly different reasons. But they still have to do with losing animals, those dear ones I'd so painstakingly come to love, in tentative increments over the years. Nissa always sent me cats in increasing need of assistance, involvement and care, so keenly watching and pushing me "just a little bit further" each time to re-open my heart, as well as open to receive more fully again. (she knows her dear ol Mom so intimately well) But then, it's as if Source viewed all my hard-won progress and said, "Ok, good. You've made so many strides and come so far, and now.....WHAM! You're going to lose all that, TOO, hahahahaha!!!!" I could not be more shocked at what's happened, having thought that "finally, Shannie HAS INDEED succeeded in making me love her, the little Queen of All, just as she'd wanted all along, and I've had to get more and more involved in treating her for conditions I'm familiar with but that would have paralyzed me with fear too soon after losing my own girl, so the timing's been just purrfect, too...so now surely we'll NEVER be parted! Surely, somehow, some way, she'll end up mine for GOOD, whether or not her step-bro does." And then, in that last month, even HE (Carly) and I became so close, it was like a miracle! They hated how they were ripped away from me so brusquely that last day, as did I, but the nasty people of the world seem to hold all the power. In any case, I canNOT find any "meaning" in why all this happened as it did, not for myself, and not for them. And I'm more than tired of all these harsh and heart-breaking experiences anyway. And now?....all this time has passed, and they've still not been handed back to me. So nothing I've done has made any lasting difference of good to anybody. I've not only lost my role as a mother, or part-time mother, but can't even be happy that the other huge trauma is more or less over, since the ending of that was supposed to be shared with my darlings, Shannie and Carly, too. I'd promised them that. And now I've been made to look like a liar...even though they know what's happened wasn't my doing. But their hearts are broken, too....and surprisingly, especially Carly's!! That cuts me like a knife, knowing the additional love and care he got from me in that last month has only added to his present-day pain, whereas I'd first thought mainly only Shannie would be that hurt, and that was bad enough!!! I've somehow failed all of us, and I'm afraid Mothers Day is just going to dig that knife even deeper into this wound. As for visiting other shelter cats, normally a good suggestion, but I just can't seem to make myself, as I always want to get them ALL out of there. And since none of the shelter founders have ever appreciated (or even accepted in some cases!) the pro bono healing work I've offered up, that's another insult I just can't handle right now. Plus, all the shelters around here really only want people to do physical labour, not to just "spend time with" their cats. So I don't need them griping about me behind my back, either, since "work" is the LAST thing I need any more of! Most of them also have to desensitize themselves to a certain degree in order to keep rescuing animals, so often end up not soft-hearted anymore, but quite judgemental of those who are sensitive and grieving, since they never have time to grieve. I don't want to put myself in the position of having to defend my grief even there, nor to be forced to listen to all the in-fighting stories amongst them all. Rock and a hard place. If I only knew of someone around here who'd actually want to let me be with their own cat/s for awhile every now and then, that would be great, but I don't.

Vicente, I read your whole story, and feel so bad for everything you've gone through and are still going through, I just can't tell you... But I can relate pretty well on a few levels, especially on wanting to die because of such a key loss of someone you love/d and depended on so completely....your Guyton. I'm so sorry you lost him, and in such an unexpected, unanticipated way. Of course your heart would be as broken as it is! How could it not, given how much you meant to each other?! I'll echo that you should try to find someone who is both educated and mainly or exclusively interested in animal loss, and to find an Animal Communicator for yourself as well. The good news is, a select few of them do BOTH, although you could certainly hire two different people as well. If you look for such people separately, I'd suggest looking online to see if there are now any qualified pet loss therapists who might agree to do phone sessions with you, if that's possible for you, if you can't find anyone locally. (I know they can be very hard to find) I had found one in BC, Canada, a few years ago; don't recall her name now, unfortunately, as I ended up seeing someone locally, but you could try a search there if the LD charges wouldn't be prohibitive, or if you can use Skype instead. But frankly, I think I would have been better of with the long-distance sessions with her instead, as she was a real "animal person," just as her professional practice directly reflected. I probably would have gotten more useful help in far less time and expense that way. For ACers, there are several professional lists of them online, as well as some I've posted to others here. As others you say have already suggested, perhaps it is a sign that El Güero becomes yours, considering everything in your story. But you do have to question your own heart, too, as Anne said. It can be helpful to try and imagine, for a whole day apiece, first one possible scenario actually existing RIGHT NOW, then the other, and note all your feelings and thoughts about each option. And ask yourself whatever questions come up, too, such as "Is my grief still too fresh, and am I ready, to start a new routine and life with this other dog?" "Will it be fair to him to be with me in my given state right now?" Or "could it actually help us both, and if so, how exactly?" "Might I end up wanting to return him, making him feel abandoned once more?" I KNOW these are tough questions to ask yourself and to try to feel into any answers, especially when you're already suffering as you are. But they are at least worthwhile asking if you're at all considering adopting this dog as your own. And you need to try to be fair to both of you, as both of your lives are important. In fact, I'd also suggest you sit down with El Güero in a quiet place, and ask him directly, either out loud, or just silently, what HE feels and thinks about the whole idea. You may get an impression, or several (!), right away, or you may need to sit quietly for awhile and just try to listen inwardly, or see if you get any mental pictures, or even see if he does anything indicative while sitting with you. Just try to be aware, without censoring whatever you get, and see if that helps any. And what about your mother?....would she be okay with another dog in the house, or would that cause even more problems? So you may have speak with her about the idea as well, and before you expend all that time and energy on everything else around this inner debate. I was also absolutely horrified to hear that your dear Guyton had been used for surgical practice (!!!!!) and am SO VERY thankful you were able to rescue him from such an awful existence!!! (you don't want to know what I really think about such people....) But you gave him SO, SO much more than what he would have had otherwise, and perhaps his seemingly untimely death will be teaching you even more than you can imagine right now. With that kind of thing in mind, I'd like to direct you to an online talk/interview that aired recently, from which I hope you might receive some comfort and helpful information about animals who have crossed over. The interview is with one of my most beloved kindred spirits, Kim Sheridan, who also wrote the book, "Animals and the Afterlife," which I know Marty also has on her list of resources for pet loss: http://www.afterlifetv.com/2015/04/02/animals-and-the-afterlife-do-pets-have-souls/ While you're there, you might also wish to listen to several other interviews Bob did, in particular this one with Robert Shwartz, which might help you some with Guyton's unexpected death: http://www.afterlifetv.com/2012/01/19/do-our-souls-plan-lifes-challenges-struggles-sufferings-before-birth/ And with Michelle Skaletski-Boyd: http://www.afterlifetv.com/2011/11/23/how-ordinary-people-can-see-hear-feel-their-loved-ones-in-spirit-without-being-a-medium/ And even if you don't contact her directly, I think you'll find much comfort and help from Teresa Wagner's site, too: http://animalsinourhearts.com/ Teresa is a magnificent human being, and I love her and her works dearly. I hope this is of some help, and that you find everything you could possibly need from whatever sources. Often, we need more than one... Blessings, Maylissa

Oh, Mary, you did try to help Allie, though. It was the vets who came up so short, not you. And when we're wracked with worry and fear, it's nigh impossible to come up with everything ourselves, much less being forced into battle mode with the medical profession. I just wish they would realize how much worse they make it for the ones left behind. I understand how it's often too hard to believe they aren't just telling us what they imagine we want to hear to 'make' us feel better....sigh. While at least this is showing they might have some compassion for us, it's still not honest. And maybe that's what's needed -- to let them know in no uncertain terms that what would help MORE for our grief would be total honesty from them....including the addendum that we aren't thinking of lawsuits, either, but just of personal HEALING. Sometimes too, we have to let them know how much we've come to discover in treating our other animals, and hope they can show us some respect and regard for that, too. It's a 2-way street, after all. I won't even kowtow to that old "necropsy" vs. "autopsy" difference in labels regarding the perceived status between nonhumans and humans. It's the same procedure, so I insist on only calling it an "autopsy." Let them deal with their own discomfort and belief system, I say, and I'll stay true to mine. I wish I had a ready answer for you about how to find a vet. cardiologist who would provide an honest assessment (and who's also really GOOD in that specialty), but I've not heard yet of anyone who's gone that route and been successful. But maybe you could do some digging online and see if you can find anything? Remember, too, once you have the full report, it's yours forever, so you may find something later on even if it's not there right now. And thanks for your sympathy about my own situation. Last I inquired in the Fall, the cats were "fine," end of answer. But I discovered one of the daughters was then wanting her parents to get her a dog. (the feline fur-boy, most especially, could never be "okay" with a dog) She's learned to be equally as self-absorbed as her parents. So I put calls into all the closest rescues for their possible future adoption, should they ever try to dump these cats back on any of them instead of calling US first...or if they just LET them get "lost." People just don't care, and particularly not about "just cats," who've been so wrongfully maligned, misunderstood and mistreated for eons. So frankly, I'm sick of most people. "Stranger in a Strange Land," I am. You're always welcome, Mary. Keep us posted, okay?

I know this post may sound minimal compared to the gut-wrenching grief of fresh loss that so many of you are presently going through, but with Mothers Day right around the corner, I just had to write about the oh-so-familiar panic from the past that is once again gripping my heart. Naturally, all online articles on grief during Mothers Day are focused on human mother loss or human child loss, so one daren't comment, lest we get blasted for DARING to feel the same about our socially-disenfranchised, 'Pet' Parental grief. I haven't even had the time nor energy yet to detail my most recent losses here (that are now already 9 months long), and I won't provide all that background for the sake of this post, except to say it is what's now termed "ambiguous" loss, meaning there's no sense of "finality" to it, and deals with 2 cats of our former neighbours, who I'd come to love and care-give as if they'd been my own, for 5 years, then lost to a totally unexpected move across town. And I've not been asked or allowed to see them since one brief visit 2 weeks after that move. The start of this Spring has been hard enough for me already...the worst Spring I've experienced since losing my fur-daughter over 8 years ago. She had always kept me in cats, one way or another, since her own transition, and so this is the first time I've had NONE to get me through any of the many other losses I've had to endure, including other terrible traumas (other forms of different types of loss) I've been through at the same time. These 2 cats were my last 2 saviours, and I've been a mess ever since they were taken away from me. I cannot even bear going into my yard now...the yard that had been their haven (and others') for 5 years. Spring yard clean-up, etc. awaits, and I cannot even start anything without ending up standing there sobbing or feeling desolate, wandering around aimlessly, and just feeling sick over the emptiness, with no furries to love, talk to, play with, hang out with, cater to..... And now it's almost Mothers Day, too. What's really significant about it is that it was because of these 2 cats, and the other ones (all now gone, one tragic way or another) who have graced my life since losing my own two babies, that I was able to gradually get through any Mothers Days at all, and could finally feel less sorrow...or at least have some furry comfort in my sorrow. And more than that, too, the one fur-girl (they were rescued/adopted cats, non-blood-related, step sister and brother) who absolutely INSISTED(!!!) from Day One that I come to love her as my own, had taken up the SAME Mothers Day ritual that my own furkids had always done for me....that is, gracing me with some sort of present each and every Mothers Day. And more....this fur-girl had ALSO learned the same thing I'd asked my own girl to do for me, regarding certain types of these presents: Since I love all creatures, when my fur-daughter, Nissa, was very young, I asked her to please try not to injure or kill any other critters unless she made it "quick" and also intended on at least eating them, so she wasn't taking a life for no good reason. And that's exactly what she did from thereon in. (I never asked this of my boy, since he never tortured anyone he caught after he'd made that mistake once in his life, and never caught anyone if he didn't intend on eating them) So I later came to request the same from this other little love of mine, and from that moment on, SHE TOO complied! Any birdie she later brought into our house was still alive and unmolested, and she allowed me to re-capture them and set them free to fly back outside again (even though my swift release of her gift still upset her a bit). That of course only made me love her all the MORE, for the love and respect she was showing me, in addition to helping me RELIVE one of the most treasured memories I have about my me and my beloved Nissakins. But now.....now my Mothers Day will be devoid of ANY of these cherished blessings. Instead, it will be filled with dread, despair, tears, anger, hopelessness, etc....all those 'lovely' feelings of loss and grief, and with no one left here to help me take the edge off. The fact that this has been an Ambiguous and Disenfranchised loss to begin with will only make it worse, since there will also be no one (no, not even my husband) I can cry to or with, or talk to, or lean upon. If I'm lucky, to distract me (because I've mentioned it several times already), we'll be going for High Tea (a past favourite treat for me, yet I've lost interest in virtually every former "feel-good" activity now), but I just KNOW I'm going to bust into tears at some point, over the whole idea that I'm now in NO way, shape or form, a MOTHER to anyone anymore. Thanks so much for listening. Oh, but please don't suggest I go out and adopt cats of my own. I have many valid reasons why this isn't a good idea right now, or possibly ever again...but that's one of the other reasons my pain is so deep and vast. Anyone else feeling the same kind of sting over Mothers Day?

Kay, I just had to respond to a couple of things you'd said, too: I've learned through hard experience, and from far too many horror stories from others I've known as well, including one vet tech who was fired and blackballed for whistle-blowing...to never, ever leave our babies' sides during any procedure, except for during actual surgery, when you're never allowed in the Op room. (that said, I was even allowed there once for at least the anesthesia portion, during an involved dental operation!...what a compassionately GREAT vet that woman was!) I could not agree MORE with your last statement!!!!!!!! In currently becoming a part of the massive grassroots pushback against poor Tiger's murder (the cat who was deliberately hunted and shot by a vet in TX, that went viral on the 'net), this case is proving the "taking care of their own" attitude is running rampant, when her license hasn't even been revoked so far, despite the utter heinousness of her crimes. Imo, we have to start demanding more from these professionals, or we're never going to get it.

Omg, Mary, I had actually come here to (finally) write something about my own trials, and then saw your post, and just about fell over!!! I had just been thinking of you again last week, but didn't clue in the other day when quickly skimming through emails, that this was you posting here again! I can't tell you how very, very sorry I am that now you've also lost your dear Allie!!!!! :( And so soon after your beloved Lucy, too! You must be just shattered!!! I'm so, so very sorry, my friend. Even though I've sadly and angrily become all too familiar over the years with the gross incompetency and the heartlessness of what seems to be an ever-growing number of "bad" vets out there, it's still always so heart-breaking to hear about yet another instance, and worse yet when it happens to someone you know. And you've been dealt this kind of nonsense more than once now!!! As I can well imagine you must be too, I'm so sick of how too many of them just refuse to even listen to not only the knowledge that their client may have gained through past experience with their own animals, but also to that inner sense any animal parent may get that tells you something's very wrong, or that, "no, we should maybe do this or that differently"....or even just, "please, check again" for x, y, or z. I'm just stunned that you're going through something so similar again, and wish I could change everything that's happened for you, and of course for dear Allie. I'm glad you asked for an autopsy this time, but certainly also share in your feelings of shock, and likely outrage, that Allie's diagnosis was just WRONG! Omg, I'm sure it's all too much to take in, much less try and deal with. I had always wished we'd had one done for our own fur-son Sabin, too, but I was too inexperienced and ill-informed back then, yet have wondered ever since if the results would have just made me even more enraged than I already was over the level of vet care he didn't get that he should have... I also understand, truly, how a horrific-looking passing can affect us so badly, as I've gone through that, too. It's an incredibly tough thing to carry with us...as if "plain" grief isn't hard enough as it is! I don't know what you're able as yet to hear in response to that, or what might just make matters worse for you, so will just say for now that you have my deepest, most empathetic sympathy for all the emotions and thoughts such a death brings up. I'm simply SO horribly sorry for all you're going through, and what you've been through already. Please know that even though I'm still dealing with my own losses, I'm here for you to whatever extent I can muster up. I seem to have lost any eloquence I once had, but still try my best. And please DO let us know what you end up finding out, and what and how you do with all that. I also hate to even ask at this point, but surely am hoping your other furkids are hanging in there. You're certainly going to need each other more than ever now, I imagine... {{{{{{{ Big HUGS from me to you!!!!!!!! }}}}}}

Hello, Macy's special person, Your post was so touching, I'm so very sorry for the important loss of your Macy, and I thank you for sharing with everyone some of your story about Macy's and your life together and the pain of your physical parting. I, too, know how "riddled with incredible grief" it is when you've been so closely bonded and in love with a fur-friend as you sound to have been with your cherished Macy. Certainly, the sheer emptiness and silence is massively hard to become slowly and gradually more accustomed to as time wears on, and I also can truly relate to what you said about suddenly experiencing the loving, dedicated care of a beloved animal being ripped away from you, too. For me, that's akin to not having air to breathe anymore, it becomes so deeply intrinsic to one's whole lifestyle, routine and focus. In a word, gut-wrenching, when it's just gone, shaking your whole way of beingness in the world right to the core. I feel SO badly for you, and anyone who goes through such pain. Hearing you speak of how you remember, obviously honour, and miss every single, treasured stage of Macy's lifetime, takes me right back to how I felt about my own furkids' lives, and afterwards....particularly my Nissa-girl (the grey one in my avatar, who lived to nearly 20), since I had to go "all out" with her care after we lost her brother, Sabin, who was only 13 when we lost him to cancer. (Nissa became very acutely ill from her own, severe grief over his loss, and suddenly developed kidney "insufficiency," and later on, failure) She, too, was my own "last furchild" (officially, legally mine), and she gave me 6.5 additional, wonderful years to dote on her before, like yours, our house became not a "home" anymore, but just a place we lived...and one I HATED having to come back into then. In fact, since I later on refused to be out and away from my girl for more than ~3 hours at a time, it took me about a year or more before that "body clock" started to abate inside....and then I grieved its cellular-memory loss as well. I won't lie - it was extra-brutal losing my darling girl, and I absolutely wanted to just die myself. So I also understand that feeling of "never mind rationality....just what IF I could come home and they'll magically just BE THERE?!" Therapists are fond of calling this "magical thinking," but I never liked the unemotional-seeming detachment of that phrase, so I simply call it being utterly heartbroken with "longing," as you said. But it's all perfectly understandable and acceptable, however it's labeled. A possible option I wanted to pass on to you regarding Macy's nose marks on your car, if I may? Perhaps you could place a piece of dark or light cardboard behind them (whichever works best), to highlight them, then take a picture of them, before they disappear? You could frame and place this treasured memento wherever it brings you the most comfort, either now or whenever it feels right for you. What you've done with her bowl and a nightlight is, I think, just beautiful. Whatever helps you out in any way, just do it. And if you can bring yourself to as yet, keep greeting and talking to her, as she IS there. Whether you personally believe her spirit truly is still with you or not, it may help you remain feeling more connected to her, regardless, and that could be a GOOD thing. And as others have said, do keep coming back here, too, if that helps in your grief. Sending you warm hugs and empathy in your loss of Macy, Maylissa

As such things always are for me, this poem & accompanying pic left me bawling, longing, yearning....and thoroughly impatient for the end of this journey in exchange for that soulful, limitless reunion with my revered furchildren, and all the other blessed feline loves they sent my way, now all gone on 'before' me in this dastardly linear time construct... I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep. I could see that you were crying, You found it hard to sleep. I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear, "It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here." I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea, You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me. I was with you at the shops today, Your arms were getting sore. I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more. I was with you at my grave today, You tend it with such care. I want to re-assure you, that I'm not lying there. I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key. I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said " it's me." You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair. I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there. It's possible for me, to be so near you everyday. To say to you with certainty, "I never went away." You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew... In the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you. The day is over... I smile and watch you yawning and say "good-night, God bless, I'll see you in the morning." And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide, I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side. I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see. Be patient, live your journey out...then come home to be with me. Author ~ unknown

Yes, unfortunately, there are a lot of perspectives to consider when an animal goes missing, and that's what makes it such a hugely trying ordeal. I guess that's one of the reasons why, if I had animals again, I'd be looking to outfit their collars (when outside, even with me, since anything can happen) with the new GPS tracking devices for animals, plus neon or those flashing light-emitters for collars, etc. Of course, the GPSs only track for a certain distance, so aren't a guarantee on their own, either. Still, an aid is an aid. I also can't help but keep wondering if any of your other dogs are grieving Tucker's absence, since animals grieve losses, too, including some kinds of losses most humans don't even consider (from a human perspective). It's just heartbreaking all-round for many families, whether of skin, fur, feather, or scale, etc.. Thanks for sharing what you heard from the ACer you tried, though. A few thoughts on that: - No, most don't want to do "lost" sessions in-house. Too distracting with the usually-distraught animal's person in the same space! - From my own perspective, I think she gave (only) too general a description of where she felt he went, i.e. simply a direction, and not even combined with any other vision (from looking through his eyes, or seeing anything about/around his present location) to go with it...not that these are necessarily helpful enough, either, depending. And I assume she doesn't use map dowsing either, which can help pinpoint an animal's location much more closely. (especially nowadays, utilizing the boon of online map availability!) - I think it would have also been more helpful if she had at least been able to see some descriptors about this man she thinks Tucker's with. - It doesn't sound as if she counseled you much, either. (??) So while this ACer may be quite good in other, more usual aspects of ACing, I'm honestly wondering if she does "lost" cases that often, as compared to more experienced ones who specialize in them, and hence may have been able to be of a lot more use to you. I know that's probably not what you want to hear, but I say this because even I've gotten more info/visions/clues about lost animals than what she gave you, and I don't even specialize in this. So perhaps I can offer you this other article instead? http://lostpetresearch.com/lost-pet-resources/animal-communicators/ (they also have a link for low-cost and other free resources, including how to and where to post lost info on various networking sites) Map dowsing is mentioned here, too, as well as 3 other ACers who've specialized in lost animals for years. I've listened to both Carol Gurney (who other fellow ACers I know also find excellent) and Tim Link, and I have found both to be exceptional in several ways and areas of ACing. In fact, Tim (who does use dowsing as well) was offering a very comprehensive workshop on lost animal communication a couple of years ago, but sadly I was too busy at the time to avail myself...and didn't think I'd ever want to specialize in that anyway, so it wasn't a huge priority for me. Little did I know how it would have come in so personally useful later on.... However, I do recall he uses a combination of specific and different techniques to narrow a location down. Also, most ACers who specialize in this can and will offer to keep in contact at regular intervals in trying to locate an animal, in case the animal is moving around. I also noticed on that same site that there's a new type of service, "Find Toto" (bottom of the page), that apparently sends "lost alerts" messages to other homes in your own area, for $40 I think. I don't know how in the world this works, but that, too, may be worth looking into? Unfortunately, what the writer says in #7 is actually correct, but again, the more experienced professional ACers who specialize in lost animals should be informing you of this upfront. Yet with their lengthier expertise, most of them can usually tell the difference. (I'm sorry, as I'd expected you would be informed of this point if you inquired into hiring someone from those lists, so didn't think I needed to mention it myself) That said, I think it's even MORE important that you still sense he's alive, as you're already connected to each other. After all, you did already get an intuitive "hit" on the day he went missing, which should be proof enough that we can all be intuitive/connected if we just listen to our "gut feelings." (btw, science has now found both the heart and the "gut" have their own brains) Intuition is seldom what we'd deem "rational," since it goes beyond the 5 senses, and rationality is of course only tied to our brain's capabilities. Sadly, most of us do end up learning the "hard way" to start to trust our other senses, at least in the beginning. I was also thinking, if Tucker is that far away, could his scent possibly still be around if that area didn't get snow? (I'm not sure how long scents from paw pads or other body parts last in drier conditions) So could a dog tracking team maybe search that area instead? If he's at someone's house there, and is let outside, maybe there's a chance of picking up his scent? Might be too much of a long shot, though, w/o a closer, more pinpointed location. And assuming this ACer got the direction right, if there aren't too many homes in that rural area, would it be possible to go door-knocking there? Perhaps someone's either seen Tucker, or has noticed someone suddenly having acquired a new dog? Or maybe you'd even get lucky and come across the exact house he may be in! (if there are dogs in any house, you could be "interested" in meeting them, to do some sleuthing on your own, if he's being hidden) And speaking of "homing beacons," a similar technique you can try (unless this is the one you were shown already?) is getting quiet(er) for a few moments, then envisioning a MASSIVE beam of bright light pouring skyward from all around your house and land, and that never dims, even in daylight, which Tucker could then use to "inner visually" find his way back if opportunity presents. Maybe even add 'fireworks,' or a picture of you, or a tight cluster of Northern Lights at the top of it, that could be 'seen' from miles away. You don't have to believe in it, just try it, 'cause it's free and it won't hurt to give it a go. There is also this self-empowering advice (similar or the same as to what you were already told), from another ACer: "I’ve found that if the owner sends messages to the pet, the pet will calm down and many times find its way home. Because your pet already knows your thoughts and energy, he is getting familiar messages that will help him to think more clearly. This means the owner is telepathically calling the pet’s name and showing them the house and other familiar things. You can send them pictures of loving them or their favorite toy. You can ask the other animals in the house to send them messages too. Get everyone in the house involved. And when you do this, you may even get a message back from your pet telling you where they are." I, too, still wish for a happy outcome that has yours and Tucker's best and highest interests at heart, and that brings peace to all concerned. At the very least, perhaps your increase in hope will energetically affect the whole situation for the good. Crossing my fingers... _____________________________________ For myself, I did briefly hear back (via text, only) from the cats' person, who claims they're "fine," but that's all she said. She's almost always this perfunctory in text, yet she never answers her phone, so I'm stuck with using text alone. Not much to go on, and for all I know, she could actually be lying, just to put me off. Despite the obvious care and concern, yet the wish to not be prying, that I'd expressed, there was still no invitation to come visit the cats at any point. And although pretty much everyone else has thought this woman's responses (or lack thereof) are all "weird," cold-hearted and ungrateful, it's apparent she still doesn't even care to acknowledge that a 5-year, close relationship has been abruptly and unceremoniously severed (at least in the physical) by her actions, or that her cats might actually benefit from a "play date" from me at least every now and then. I don't know if it's safe or wise to be so bold as to come right out and ask for a visit, either, in light of her continued indifference. But this limbo and uncertainty is a living hell. So now I'm considering calling up the founder (whom I know) of the shelter they came from, to ask if they may have actually been returned, in which case of course we'd adopt them straight away, and further warn the founder to never adopt out to these people again. (are also other many-fold reasons for such a warning which we had learned about over the years) I don't want to hijack your thread, but if anyone has any thoughts or ideas, I'd be open to hearing them.

I, too, am sorry you haven't recovered Tucker. I'd wanted to post this earlier, but things got in the way. There was an article I'd come across, written by the founder of the "Missing Pet Partnership," where she also talks about "How Humans Looking For Lost Pets Behave" and other additional tidbits. Since even the ACer you used thought Tucker was with someone else, under her "Lost Pet Coaching" section, Kat describes the focus for looking for dogs in particular, this way: "The search for a lost dog, on the other hand, usually involves searching for the person who has self-adopted/rescued the "homeless stray" (lost) dog that they found." Might be worth a read-through: http://www.maddiesfund.org/what-you-dont-know-about-lost-pets-can-hurt-them.htm I've also seen it advised to put a neon poster in a window of one's car, so as it's driven about, your range of 'advertizing' is taken farther afield. I would actually be interested to hear about what details ACer provided you...and who s/he was too, if you're comfortable sharing their name. (btw, some even use dowsing/pendulum methods on a map, to more closely pinpoint where an animal actually is) As for the therapist, good idea as another support and aid, but as a precaution, I'd ask what their personal views are on grief over 'pet' loss, i.e. do they really view it as "less than" human loss, or just as important and potentially as intense, or possibly even more so? And does their perspective actually jibe with your own? I feel it's always important to have a therapist whose values match your own, for best mental health service, and so as to not induce more emotional harm than good. I'm not in a great way, either, regarding these cat loves of mine. It still truly feels inside as if they were stolen away, and they've been sending me a steadily increasing number of signs over the last few weeks and months, as well. Plus, people keep asking me if I've heard anything (from their "owner"; everyone's surprised and dismayed at her lack of caring) about how they're doing. But I have not heard a word. So now I've just attempted to contact this person, asking after the cats, as I have a terrible feeling they may have already have "gotten rid of" them and are about to "replace" them with a dog instead. If so (and if the owner is even honest with me), there will be plenty of guilt for me to deal with, for not having acted much sooner...especially since I should have known better to not delay. This "not knowing" is killing me, since my own "role" in their lives was in many ways much larger, and certainly more personally in-depth than that of their legal "owners," yet I'm not in control of their lives and welfare now. Oh, how it HURTS, but worse, I hurt FOR those dear cats and what they may be going through since being taken away from here, and are now missing everything they got from me that so enriched their lives. I feel like I'm betraying them, even though this was all out of my direct control.

By choice, I barely watch the news much anymore, and the lives of celebrities don't normally garner my attention either. But while searching for something else, I happened upon this older story and wanted to share the sacredness of its message. I'm not even familiar with singer-songwriter Fiona Apple's work, but the depth of her character certainly shines through here. Fiona had made the decision to abruptly cancel her tour (in 2012) and instead remain with her beloved dog, Janet, in light of her failing condition. Apparently, Fiona took some hugely insensitive and selfishly-motivated criticism for being true to her very primary relationship with Janet, putting their love and committment to each other well above her career. Yet thankfully, she also received at least 80,000 "likes" on FB for her "instant" decision. I say her heart was exactly where it belonged, most certainly for Janet's sake, but also for her own. That's devotion -- deserving of being widely applauded and fostered, and particularly when it involves these deep connections to and with other animals. You can read this touching story and her 4-page letter (fully transcribed; keep scrolling past the scanned portion) to her fans here. Tissues are advised: http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2012/11/fiona-apples-defense-of-canceling-concerts-to-be-with-her-dying-dog/265573/#

This roller coaster must be ever so terribly hard on you, I'm sure, sleather. But you'd asked this question, and I'll answer as best I can. Nothing wrong with having a "healthy" skepticism. That can actually help you weed out any ACers who aren't authentic. That said, there are many who are authentic (hence the specific list I'd provided), and the ones who've chosen to take on missing animal cases are usually among the most ethical and strong in spirit, as it's not easy work due to all the emotions they must deal with involving each case. That alone should imply how dedicated they are to helping. And as a result of the emotional difficulty of doing missing animals work, they tend to be quite helpful in also psychologically supporting the animal's person during the process. Several also use a variety of methods by which to try and locate missing animals, so don't rely only on their telepathic skills. And you're still required to take whatever measures are still needed to locate your companion. It's a necessary teamwork approach. If you didn't read through those websites, perhaps you missed also seeing the "Pet Detectives" resources also available per some States or Provinces. They employ dogs and related methods to try and find missing animals: http://www.missingpetpartnership.org/lost-pet-help/find-a-pet-detective/pet-detective-directory/ Many folks are truly caring about missing animals these days, but it's still up to each animal parent to avail themselves of the resources out there, in order to maintain both hope and chances of recovery of their animal. I've known people who've utilized every means they could find, and thereby got their furchild back. I've thankfully not had to hire anyone myself as yet to locate a missing animal of my own, but I've heard some wonderful and successful stories from people who have - hiring ACers &/or other professionals in tandem. I've also heard of people who have door-knocked and discovered their missing animal in someone else's house, and in cases where the thief wouldn't relinquish them, were able to then go to the police and thereby retrieve them. Others have employed food-baited dog traps, then regularly monitored them (even more frequently in bad weather), as another woman I knew did, whose dog was spotted several times in some woods but still wouldn't come to her, he was so spooked by then. She DID eventually capture him and get him back home, although it took a few weeks of unwavering, daily effort. (she even slept IN those woods by herself on a few occasions) Animal rescue groups can sometimes also be accessed for information and aids, but if they sense the person isn't willing to do the hard work, they may refuse, as burn-out for them is a real issue. As for more personal experience, I also do animal communing work myself (just not normally, specifically with missing animals), so know first-hand that it's a reality, and can attest to receiving information from animals that was validated by their people as true and often highly specific. I can also affirm that once one has communed with an animal in these ways, their gratitude and appreciation is normally immediately apparent, and the relationship between each is forever changed and hugely enriched. (there were also a few energetic techniques in some of those links that you can do yourself, that could benefit both you and Tucker) Regarding missing animals in particular, I did take on trying to locate a missing cat in our area who I hadn't even met as yet, but whom I came to later meet, then adore, once he returned home. (another sad case of negligent, uncaring "owners" who refused to look for him themselves...partly why I did this of my own accord) Although I could clearly see he was trapped inside a shed, I wasn't able to specifically tell where this shed was in the neighbourhood, although I could tell what direction and relative distance it was from his house. On the other hand, I didn't immediately go out on foot myself to try and locate it, but as a first step, employed other energetic & spiritual means to help him get untrapped. I learned he then turned up back at home (dehydrated and starving) by 3am the next morning. After that episode, for the first time ever, he followed his brother (who I'd already known for quite awhile) down to our house that week to say "thank you!" to me, and we became very close from there on. Later on when he went missing AGAIN for a few hours in bad winter weather, I followed my intuition in door-knocking in my bid to find him, starting on the side of the street where I sensed he was. And we did find him within the hour, stuck in a tree in another neighbour's back yard, on that side of the street. (several people were willing to help me check their yards, and were appreciative of my efforts, even though he wasn't mine) Later still, I heard of at least one cat, if not two, being attacked overnight by what was most likely a coyote. I automatically knew one was him (and cognitively figured out who the other was), and telepathically saw how he'd been slammed against our fenceboards when this coyote attacked his other feline friend (they were outside together but both survived). Upon speaking with his humans the next day, what they told me jibed with what I'd seen, as it WAS him who'd gotten hurt when his head had hit our fence, resulting in a broken jaw, also then explaining the blood I'd found on our sidewalk. I also searched and door-knocked for 2 weeks to try and find another much-loved feline gf of mine gone missing, when her people wouldn't lift a finger, then also asked an intuitively practised friend of mine to connect with her, as well as later connecting myself; our respective connectings filled in the blanks. (won't go into the details of this one, as it wasn't a happy ending, and I grieved heavily for her thereafter) So I've come to discover (mainly due to my own furkids having taught and opened my mind up) that the world of ACing is very real, and I've been involved in it in one way or another for decades now, and I think one need only experience it in one way or another to come to know (not simply "believe in") that, as long as you're utilizing credible sources, or experiencing it first-hand. If the other sites aren't enough for you, maybe you could try a search on "animal communicators who've found lost animals" or something similar, just to see how much more commonly known and accepted this all is nowadays. I've heard good things, first-hand, about Annette Betcher http://www.annettebetcher.com/petfound.shtml, who is also listed on Bob Olson's Best Psychic Directory under Animal Communicators. http://www.bestpsychicdirectory.com/animal-communicator You can read pages of testimonials on her site about her work with missing animals. For myself, I can say that if any furchild of mine went missing I would employ any and all resources I possibly could, especially within the first hours and days. I couldn't really rest until either I'd gotten them back, or I had enough evidence of some kind of their passing. (it's much the same to me as for parents whose humans children go missing) In fact, I've always got that plan in mind if I EVER hear of those 2 cats I'd come to love going missing from their new house (and they don't simply show up at mine!), whether or not their own people search for them...which they won't, I've already been told several times in the past. My conscience just wouldn't allow me to rest if I didn't, despite all the tough, gut-wrenching and exhaustive work it might take. I wish you strength and perseverance, and (if it's in the cards for you) even some dream-time help that will point you in the best direction.

Sleather, I'm so very sorry this has happened to you and your darling Tucker. You've been doing some of the right things, though, in your search for him. If I may, I'd also suggest putting posters up wherever you can (but without his name attached, as is often advised if an animal has been stolen) - grocery stores, vet offices, drugstores, wherever there's people traffic. And keep checking all surrounding shelters daily, making sure they have a written description of him as well as a picture, plus his I.D. info. As well, a few other useful links to aid you in your search (I'm assuming you're in the US) : http://missingpetpartnership.org/ http://www.petamberalert.com/ http://www.fidofinder.com/ You may also want to check out animal communicators who specialized in lost animals (if so, the sooner the better). Here's one such page: http://acersplace.com/ And one of several ACers who does this work herself: http://communicationswithlove.com/resources/lost-animals-resources/ Plus a wealth of information on what else you can do, from this other ACer, here: http://www.katberard.com/communication/lost.htm You can also check online "lists" such as Craigslist or other places where animals are posted for adoption. That's how one man recently found his own missing dog, after months, I believe it was, of him going lost. Unlike what the literature might advise, those of us in animal advocacy work always say, NEVER completely give up hope, or looking...despite that being so incredibly hard for anyone to manage in their path of bereavement. This is one of every animal parent's nightmares, and I actually can rather imagine how you're feeling, as not only am I a partial Empath, but I'm suffering from a similar situation myself. This concerns 2 much-adored cats, one of whom everyone always thought was actually mine, as she virtually lived at our house (and in our hearts, we knew belonged to each other for sure!), but who were not legally mine, yet whom I'd looked after and out for for 5 straight years, and for whom we sat exclusively in our home for their last month here. But they were then ripped away from me to live in their terribly-neglectful people's newly-built home. I've not been allowed to visit them more than once (right at the beginning), nor sit for them again so far (and it's not looking hopeful for the future, though that had been promised to me). Their people allowed them to roam at will, but weren't looked out for to get back indoors, either, no matter the temp. or weather. In short, they would have died if not for me being here for them. There hasn't been one single day since where I haven't been in anguish and gut-wrenching worry over their safety, well-being, and care. And through a trusted animal communicator I hired (since I was too upset to do that work myself in this case), I learned they are missing me every bit as much as I'm missing them, which shatters my heart to bits even more. Yet every day that's passed since still leaves me wondering if they're each even still alive or not, suffering from neglect, have become lost, and on and on and on.... I do what I can for them via distance work as I'm able (and just trusting they're still on this plane to receive it, but if not, that their spirit/s will get it anyway), but it's still a hellish way to exist. So I can truly resonate with the day-to-day, inner struggles that this kind of limbo elicits, and the other complications from the unresolved-ness of it all, as Marty had already mentioned. The longer I live, it seems the more kinds of grief and loss I'm having to experience, and none of them are at all easy. I weep for every one of us ever stuck in such situations, and have actually lost most hope for my own already, since this grief, too, has been further complicated by other ridiculously "UNlucky" life events....but I can still hold hope for yours. And so that is what I'll do on yours and Tucker's behalf...

Oh gee, thanks, Marty. And glad to know you too admire and know Teresa and her work! (but why am I not surprised?...or had you even mentioned this awhile ago, before my poor brain went dead? ) I've heard of Judy several times as well, but don't have her books, and don't believe I've heard her speak....but will soon now because I've just actually ordered this other On Demand class (apparently another prerecorded one that's downloadable), to listen to as time permits. I so wish I could make more time to write and get/give support here, but I've slowed down now, while the to-do's keep piling up if I don't keep pushing myself....sigh....so I can only manage to fit in little chunks of more personal things here and there. That's just how it's been for the last several years, yet I've missed sharing so many of my own losses here on GH all throughout that time....just one after another, and I'm feeling quite spent...another reason I've come to prefer sharing with others verbally by phone instead -- less typing, and more multi-tasking possible, staving off more of the overwhelm! In any case, I just took a look, so for anyone interested in the "Animals Grieve Too" On Demand class, it appears you can find it here: http://www.animalsinourhearts.com/store/on-demand-teleclasses-and-webinars/animals-grieve-too-detail.html

Woot-woot!, Marty, for posting one of Teresa's new teleclasses here! I've followed Teresa for many years now, have promoted her everywhere, have some of her products, and have taken a few of her classes, plus hired her once for a Communication with my beloved fur-son. I just can't praise her enough. Her classes are simply exemplary, so if anyone's ever wondering if they ought to take an animal-focused class, or deciding between more than one, I'd always recommend any of Teresa's first! In fact, I just took an excellent, 2-part teleclass from her very recently, on the flip-side, titled "Animals Grieve Too: Helping the Animals We Love Through Times of Loss & Grief, and the Grief-Related Stress of Re-Homing and Starting Over," and couldn't recommend it more. (haven't checked yet, but I'm guessing it will also be offered as an On Demand, previously-recorded class, through her website/product listing) To my mind, Teresa remains one of THE most thorough, organized, eloquent and empathetic people I've ever had the pleasure to listen to and learn from, and I find she and I are very aligned on just about every level and perspective regarding animals, so her works suit me to a "t." She also has one of the gentlest, most tender voices one can imagine - SO soothing during painful periods or while dealing with sensitive material. All-told, It was an extremely well-done, information-packed class (albeit excrutiatingly painful for me at present on several fronts), and more than worth every penny. I'd especially recommend it for anyone who hasn't already considered all aspects of how, when, about what, and the extent to which animals grieve. (I already knew of course, so most was just more validation to my ears) Part 2's focus on preventing grief and grief-related stress for animals, was amazingly well thought-out and again, incredibly thorough....heh-heh...almost as if I'd written it myself , but with even more fine details included! I'd actually come up with on my own, and done whatever parts I could at the time for my own furchildren's future provision should I predecease them or become incapacitated, way back before there was even an internet, so was delighted to find Teresa covering the same ground, too, yet with a little bit more thrown in in certain areas. The handouts in Part 2 are incredibly invaluable to have and work through for anyone who has an animal family member. In a nutshell, if everyone followed these guidelines, there would be incredibly less pain for animals in the world. I find Teresa to be a deep, discerning thinker, an excellent planner, and emotionally supportive to the "nth" degree, all while balancing/healing her own emotional responses to what are essentially all the various "hells" animals endure due to how own species classically views or ignores them and their needs, or simply acts out of ignorance. There's just so much to admire about Teresa. So if there's any way I can swing it, I'll be signing up for THIS teleclass, too, since this will be the very first Christmas in close to 30 years where I've had absolutely NO feline loves around (mine, or visiting) to dote on, share some joy with, or to help me through the holidays, since losing my own kidlets, and additionally am now heavily grieving "the last two" feline friends I've lost and may ever have. (this last class really brought home the cold, hard facts for me, which is yet another loss & grief of sorts) It's going to be a "killer" holiday season for me, so I could use as much help as I can find. And I hope everyone who can also avails themselves of such expert help, as I'm also sure Teresa's guest will be excellent as well.

Did anyone manage to listen to this teleconference? As I always have, I just ADORE Ella, all the information and wisdom she imparts, and how we're truly "on the same page" about virtually everything. I seriously need more people like her in my own life. However, years now after I'd first discovered her and her work, and approaching 15 years after the transition of my furboy, who ended up dying naturally, I'm still so discouraged to find the Animal End-Of-Life/Hospice movement remains so much in its infancy, and most resources and support for the whole concept and practice are still mainly only in the U.S. As another caller had spoken about even at present, I, too, had almost no support when I had to deal with my boy's passing at home, and had to try and think of and research most things on my own, then ask appropriate questions of vets. Yet that's what my boy had wanted - to die at home and not in some clinic, or on the way to one, as Ella's had. I just knew, clarecognitively, we had always been so "melded," soul-wise. But even today, and despite knowing better, a portion of heavy guilt remains that I've yet to completely heal, for what he suffered for the lack of appropriate tools and support network we didn't have. And in tandem, I still carry anger towards our vet for abandoning us (for another training conference) when we needed her the VERY, VERY most, and for not giving me specific enough information about our pain management protocols, which we ended up really needing. I'd never, ever anticipated or suspected she'd be so emotionally "removed" from her patients or clients, which only added to my devastation. Likewise, the total lack of even a personal phone call to express any condolences or apologies afterwards, in addition to sending a very belated and highly inappropriate gift donation in his name, forcing me to then complain about it through the clinic's office manager. And of course ZERO grief support training or resources supplied to me afterwards, either. All these "complications," surrounding THE most important and massively devastating loss I'd ever suffered to date in my life back then -- that of my precious and wholly-beloved fur-SON and total soulmate. Yet the veterinary field as a whole hasn't really come that much farther in all these years, regarding "pet" loss and in-house training for same. It's nothing short of shameful, imo. So I truly appreciated Ella relating her story about how and why she first delved into natural end-of-life care, and how she spoke of the guilt most of us still feel no matter how well we may have done with whatever circumstances we've had to work with. And I remain proud of what I did supply on my own despite my ignorance of what was really required, and so long before people like Ella and such resources were around. If anyone else listened to her talk, I'd like to hear what you thought about it.

You're most welcome, Marty! Always wanting to be of help.

!!! TIME-SENSITIVE POSTING !!! Sorry there's so little notice here, but if you register quickly, you can still join in on this teleconference or at least get the recording sent afterwards to those who pre-register. November is National Hospice and Palliative Care Month, and Sandy Rakowitz will be interviewing Dr. Bittel on The Animal Heart Wisdom Show at 7pm Eastern/6pm Central/5pm Mountain/4pm Pacific. You will have the chance to ask questions of Dr. Bittel as well, if you join them LIVE, or can just listen to the replay afterwards. I've previously written here about Dr. Bittel DVM (if you care to do a "search" for it), as she is the "pioneer" of Pet Hospice education, workshops and distance learning programs in the US, teaching animal parents, vets and others the how-to's and why's of true hospice care surrounding End-Of-Life considerations and tools to use for our beloved animal companions. This is vital information to gather at any time, but particularly when your animal is still healthy and well, so you can be well-prepared and informed in advance, and not have to suffer as much fear or feelings of disempowerment. So if you still have a beloved furred or feathered family member, OR may be adopting another one at some point, NOW is the time to learn all about what TRUE animal hospice should entail, and how you can best aid your beloveds when their time to go is at hand. Even in a sudden medical crisis, I believe there are certain applications of Dr. Bittel's work that can make a huge difference to your animal and you. As Sandy says herself, "I was truly amazed at the sense of empowerment I felt after learning about the death and dying process WITH ANIMALS, and getting new perspectives on all the tools we have to use for creating comfort and care during this time. Even though I had gone through Hospice Training with people, and had Hospice experience with people, I learned volumes from Ella...and so did my dog Haley...." To register for this teleconference &/or recording, visit (today or early tomorrow): http://www.onehearthealingcenter.com/pet-hospice I believe you must also register here, at the same time, to receive Sandy's newsletter (which you can later unsubscribe to if you wish), in order for her to send you the call-in info for the teleconference, and so you will get the recording afterwards. If you would like to also peruse Dr. Bittel's own site, please visit: http://www.spiritsintransition.org/index.html

Hi Angie, As you said to KayC, yes, we're "at their mercy," and that's what's so shameful about it all. Where are their veterinary medical ethics, or honouring their professional oaths? You got me curious to look these up, though, and it seems they vary considerably between countries, and apparently don't normally include the "first, do no harm" bit; apparently not actually a part of the original Hypocratic Oath (although most of us erroneously think it is!). But in the UK, more, not less, emphasis is actually put on animal welfare, over human/public welfare. So this vet has clearly not lived up to that mandate, nor have many others, considering all the signers on that UK petition. See here for more: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1524840/ Global veterinary oaths: http://www.wsava.org/sites/default/files/Global%20Veterinary%20Oaths.pdf As you also said, "to leave an animal in pain in unforgivable," and I wholly agree! Yet it's also the undeniable truth that many vets are actually the direct cause of pain. Just think of all those who willfully perform declawing (onychectomy; actual toe bones amputated), tail and ear cropping (sometimes not even with any anesthetic!), devocalization (ventriculocordectomy), or other such unnecessary bodily mutilations that can commonly cause animals lifelong pain and complications. And this isn't even including the "wanton" and outright abuse of animals that also commonly takes place in some vet clinics. But the ones who knowingly agree to provide such medical torture for money have obviously become just as desensitized as the rest of society, toward both nonhumans and humans alike. It's a pandemic, societal sickness, really, that we battle against. So very sadly, it's because of all these instances (including in the human medical system) that we end up learning to shout, rant, rave, demand, insist upon rightful care of those we love, and become as educated and involved as we possibly can about whatever we must. After hearing countless stories through the years -- from neighbours, others on animal-related forums, friends, animal rescue people, notibly from an experienced vet tech who was fired for speaking up after witnessing egregious, ongoing abuse by vets behind closed doors, and of course from my own experiences too -- I've since decided I would insist on always being with any animal of mine, and never leave them alone in any clinic for any procedure, even staying as close as possible during any surgery, and too bad if no one likes it! Whatever it takes to protect them and their best interests. Unfortunately, that seems to be what is demanded of us nowadays, once we've discovered these atrocities really do exist. The sheer incompetence and lack of compassion out there in the veterinary field, is truly unconscionable, and the number of bad vets, I suspect, now outweighs the number of good ones. (at least, that's how it seems to be where I live) But at least now, we have social networking sites as well, from which to get the word out and warn others away from bad vets and clinics. That wasn't the case when my own boy suffered what he did, and at more than one clinic, it turned out. So I understand the resulting pain and guilty feelings induced within us, for our "not knowing," or our own perceived negligence. Even today, I must continually practice self-forgiveness and keep repeating to myself that I just didn't know what I didn't know at the time, even if my ignorance aided in my beloved's suffering. Yet I'm hopeful that your own expertise and knowledge to date will have some good effect and get you what you need. You're right of course -- this vet did take your "informed decision" and "responsibility" of choice for your precious Roary away from you by withholding results, and not properly acting upon them. And you have every right to your justifiable anger, and all the other feelings that go along with such a major loss. I'm in an 'evolution' of sorts here myself of late, and am currently being guided to teach and inspire others (as well as myself) to really accept and use anger as the tool it's meant to be, imo. So I'll share an inspirational quote I'd just (serendipitously) dragged out for my own personal use, in hopes it will benefit you, too: "Often anger is a sign of engagement with life. People who are angry are touched deeply by the events of thier lives and feel strongly about them....Anger is just a demand for change, a passionate wish for things to be different..." ~ from Kitchen Table Wisdom I'd give that vet about 3 days to answer your letter, then I'd call to repeat your request for a meeting if you've heard nothing back yet. Often we have to be a really squeaky wheel, particularly if it concerns something uncomfortable for the other party. And if she keeps trying to ignore you, that's just more fuel for the fire that you could possibly report her for, I'd imagine. I, too, would love to see some kind of justice served for both Roary and you!

Aahhh, Angie, so much of what you've shared resonates with me, too. It's just "too" hard when we lose the physicality of such deep, meaningful, and as you said, "pure" love and relationship with a loved one. We may "carry on," with the pain diminishing to a manageable level after some time, but that empty, "lost limb" feeling also remains in our hearts always, when our love has been that deep, rich and fulfilling. We are forever changed, to be sure. And yes indeed, your furboy is one gorgeous chap! Thank you so much for sharing with us this picture of the two of you so clearly loving each other. I truly believe that what you're so courageously tackling on behalf of your boy will form a vital and integral part of both his legacy to you, and of your healing process, and you're to be hugely congratulated for taking on this mental/emotional/spiritual challenge. Many people could not, or would not, face their fears as you're so bravely doing, so I send you cyber-hugs, pats, strokes and purrs of encouragement for this undertaking. More importantly, I think your boy's eternal heart and soul must be simply overflowing with intense gratitude for you honouring his life and closer-than-close bond with you to this degree. You can be as scared or nervous as you like, but if you "do it anyway," you have every right to also be immensely proud of yourself, even if you break down in the midst of it. (so what?...just proves you have real heart!) And I'm sure your own soul will grow brighter because of it, too. Even in the bigger picture, you are doing a great service to ALL animals and their respective parents, those poor souls who don't have any family to fight for their rights as important beings, as well as to the collective consciousness of this planet, pushing for the justness, respect and compassion we still sorely need much more of. (I'm sure you can see I also share in your strong sense of justice) As well, kudos to your mother for joining and supporting you during this trying task. What a dear. So I wish you every ounce of strength and clarity you can muster, and please do let us know how it all goes. (pack some tissues as well, okay?)

Angie, KayC makes a good point -- having a witness with you, plus some moral support. I'd also consider taking a voice recorder along if you can, as evidence of any conversation, even if you only used the recording for transcription purposes. After all, when we're upset, we tend not to hear, or just not remember, everything that's said. You'd have to check to see what the UK's laws are regarding recordings being permissible as evidence, or not. But in Canada (and our legal system is based on Britain's), apparently they're even allowed if only one person (e.i. you, as the one doing the recording) knows a conversation is being recorded. They're only disallowed if you're recording other people with whom you're NOT having a conversation...as in "eavesdropping" or wiretapping, etc. Could be an invaluable tool for you.

Dear Maria, So very sadly, you are now one of the growing number of people who have lost a beloved furbaby to what certainly appears to be another horrible case of veterinary negligence, if not gross malpractice. I'm so terribly sorry for both the loss of your precious furboy and all the additional trauma this vet's lack of care has caused you. Grief is hard enough as it is, much less when a death needn't have even happened when or why it did. But I've met others who have discovered the same kinds of gross negligence from vets (it's actually far more rampant than most people think), which also resulted in the deaths of their priceless animal companions. While the burden of guilt really belongs mainly with the vet her/himself, I also know most animal parents take it all upon themselves, and suffer greatly as a result. When the vet in question won't even admit to their own negligence, fearing reprisal for their actions, it only makes matters worse for the animal's parent. It's neither fair, ethical, nor honourable. There are things you can do, although it's also well known that most professional veterinary organizations protect their own, so the client usually faces an uphill battle, and compensation, if any, tends to be quite small. Only you can decide if you have the strength and resources to tackle things in this manner. And while the gathering of necessary paperwork or other evidence and expert opinions should be done in a timely manner, you may want or need to put off making too hasty a decision during the throes of the worst of your grief. I know you said it's already been months since your loss, but it's still a subjective thing. I also personally suffered a case of blatant negligence years ago, which didn't cause direct death, but did greatly affect and impede all following treatments of a pre-existing condition of my furboy's. So he and I still both suffered badly because of it and it then cost more, financially and emotionally, to try and manage after that. Had I known then everything I learned later, I definitely would have at least filed a complaint against her, or even pursued a further lawsuit, depending. The one difference though, was that this vet both admitted to and apologized for her reckless mistake, and in very short order. But personally, I wish many more people were more informed and would challenge such vets and their governing bodies, to help stop this growing indifference shown towards our treasured fur-childrens' lives. There's much more I could add, but I want to make this as brief as possible, so you can take action asap if you wish. So I'm providing you a few links I think you'll need to start educating yourself about before you proceed any further. I'd suggest you read through them &/or others you may find before you speak to your vet again, to avoid mistakes and to protect yourself and your case should you want to pursue it. It also appears you're not in N. America, and if that's the case, you'd have to also do online searches for any available resources and country-specific info and laws governing such actions, as they may differ widely. You might also search online to see if your country has any animal-experienced solicitors (see below) from whom you could get additional advice if needed. Detailed discussion on veterinary malpractice (US based): https://www.animallaw.info/article/detailed-discussion-veterinarian-malpractice ALDF (Animal Legal Defence Fund) page on what to do when you believe a vet has killed your animal: http://aldf.org/resources/when-your-companion-animal-has-been-harmed/what-to-do-when-you-believe-a-vet-has-harmed-or-killed-your-companion-animal/ Similar advice, this one from Ireland http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/nireland/consumer_ni/consumer_professional_and_financial_services_e/consumer_vets_and_pets_e/consumer_vets_e/complaining_about_misconduct_or_negligence_vets.htm General advice to resolve vet disputes, plus info on the RCVS (UK): https://suite.io/cheryl-anne-jenkinson/3kdr2ea An actual vet malpractic petition out of the UK, also containing some useful info and other links, including links for 3 solicitors experienced in fighting & winning such cases. Also see comments/"more reasons" for signing, to see how much company you actually have in losing an animal to bad vets. It may also be empowering for yourself to both sign and promote this petition while you're there: http://www.change.org/p/uk-prime-minister-stop-veterinary-negligence-and-malpractice Some statistics and info regarding complaints to the RCVS: http://www.vetlife.org.uk/professional-issues/complaints-rcvs If concrete actions & info such as this are not what you were looking for, I do sincerely apologize, but that is what I thought you were mainly asking for help with. In whatever case, I hope you find all the help you need for your compounded grief, and I do empathize greatly with the horrors you must be facing inside ever since. Since I have a friend who is still, years later, beating themselves up over both what they didn't know or do at the time, or even later on, plus trying to now spiritually forgive (for their own sake) the vet who failed their cat, I've seen what a tough battle this can all be, and my heart truly goes out to you and your furboy, too. In deepest sympathy, Maylissa

This is such a fantabulous talk by this wonderful woman — not to be missed! Anna is one of the singularly best speakers I’ve ever heard on the subject of interspecies communication (or "communion," as I term it myself) in all my years of listening to many other Communicators and other people in various animal-related fields, and in doing this work myself. And so I was totally thrilled to hear her expound so very eloquently and knowledgeably on many of the same aspects about animals (and the quantum realities) that I’ve come to know about, too...and then some! There is a LOT of great and necessary information packed into just this hour-long talk. Included is a short, easy (even for novices) exercise on connecting with any animal you choose, at around the 40 minute mark. (and imo, they could be on this plane OR back in the spirit realm...but it's more gratifying to witness the often pleasing results of communicating for yourself in the physical world, especially if you've never tried this before) Much of what Anna imparts can of course be applied to both expanding your relationship with current animal companions, and in dealing with the various aspects of grief over losing them. For instance, her personal story about the beached whales could aid in understanding how things may appear to us on one level, yet really be about something much deeper on a soul choice level. And that knowledge could of course help alleviate the guilt we can sometimes mistakenly take on. If you love the animal kingdom, too (both "domesticated" and wild), I can’t think of an interview I've heard that's as exemplary as this one is overall, and which I hope any “animal person” would gift themselves with. ? Direct link to audio recording: http://instantteleseminar.com/?eventid=40294578 If you can’t access the above link directly, it’s taken from this page - click “online interview with Anna (recording)" to open it: http://www.animalspirit.org/media-articles Anna’s work is also being featured on the first-ever full-length documentary film on the art of animal communication. (yaaayyyyyyy!!!! finally!!!! ?) You can see the heart-opening, 13 min. snippet here (or on Youtube if you prefer), featuring "Spirit," the black panther, and his immediate transformation : http://openhandweb.org/animal_communication_documentary You can also order the full DVD directly from South Africa, through Kalahari.com. See Anna's website (above) for more information, or you can try this site instead (see comment section): http://www.nhuafrica.com/industry-news/the-animal-communicator-with-anna-breytenbach-to-screen-in-cape-town-this-month/

Thanks for that, Mary...and huh, I'm surprised! I guess I'd just leapt to the assumption that, given everything else Einstein said about rather related matters, and the fact that he was also a believer of the philosophy that "All is One and Interconnected," that would have included believing that nothing and no one could ever truly die, either. My mistake. Seems like rather a disconnect, though, to me. Still, I admire much about the man, and share many of his views on ethics/morals, and religion (as it's commonly been put forth, at least). I think one of the main reasons the evidence is piling up, as you put it, is because people aren't now as afraid to speak up about their experiences, due to the braver souls who initially didn't allow fear or ridicule to stop them....bless 'em all!

Mary, you might also be interested to know there are homeopathic means that address animals who've been vaccinated, involving using specific homeopathic remedies immediately following vaccines being given/foisted upon them, which helps mitigate their damaging effects. (I never call them "side-effects" anymore, as that's actually a misnomer) **this should, of course, only be done in the hands of an experienced Doctor of Veterinary Homeopathy...and not just one who's added homeopathy to their roster w/o proper, years-long training** I believe an even better answer is to actively fight back for the return of our rights to choose on behalf of our cherished animals, and to protect them (and ourselves) from the contrived and hidden reasons for pushing dangerous and unnecessary vaccines, for instance, through that initiative rebby mentioned earlier &/or whatever else might help. These laws absolutely need to be changed. I learned almost 2 decades ago now about the dangers of vaccines, and how they came from a corrupt system, in addition to how most will last an animal's entire lifetime, besides. As with almost everything in this world now, if you just "follow the money," much becomes crystal clear. I even recall another woman (in the US) who was well-informed, and ended up very assertively using the medical inserts vaccines are packaged with -- the ones that clearly state, right from these manufacturers, that NO animal who is ill or otherwise compromised in their health, is to be given vaccines (just as Kacy has already mentioned, I believe) -- to thwart her vet's attempt to force her into re-dosing with rabies vaccine. She then made her vet sign a paper giving her this health "leave" that she could use for any officers of the law coming to her door demanding she get her animals vaccinated for rabies. It worked for her, and although I know that some States now don't even allow such "leave," I'd suggest that if thousands of people were doing the same thing, the political pressure would mount and we might actually see enough of a push-back to effect this needed change fast. And if enough states enact such changes, the rest are more likely to follow. For those States that do still allow such medical "leave," think about it....how many animals these days are even totally healthy anymore anyway?...leaving this tactic wide open in many cases for use at present. How deliciously ironic would it be, to use the very results (sickness from vaccines themselves &/or ruined food systems, environments, etc.) of this madness, in order to reverse it? As they say, the answer lies right within the question, no? For just one of many enlightening articles on the whole rabies scam, written by yet another independent-thinking DVM, please see: http://www.angelfire.com/biz/froghollerfilas/VaccRabiesFudens.html