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I see there are so many new people on line here and I feel bad because I haven't been able to be on for a few days. I took a bad fall this weekend, then I came down sick Monday, I've been super stressed at work and my computer wouldn't work when I came to work, I've had some unexpected expenses and other bad news, and today was my birthday and it's just so depressing to come home alone and walk the dogs alone and eat a bowl of cereal alone...again. My son is back in college so I suppose that's part of my depression, and he's going to come take his dog in a week or so, I'm going to really miss him. I'm sorry to sound depressed, usually I'm so upbeat but everything just seems a bit much right now.

Part of it is Jim forgot my birthday and had to work late tonight so I couldn't even see him...I know you shouldn't compare, but it's hard to not notice the difference...George always made a huge deal of my birthdays and it hasn't been the same since.

I shouldn't complain, there's so many here that just lost their spouse and are really struggling, at least I have a few years under my belt...but there's times it just seems to hit all over again and I guess this is one of those times. :(

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Kay Happy Birthday!!! I know how you feel Sept 25th was my birthday and it was very hard Ben always made a big deal of my birthday too!!! And today would have been his 63rd birthday and all day long i have missed him It has been almost 8months and it is not getting easier...This morning i woke up and just started crying and i went shopping with my son and i saw all these older couples in the store and it just made me angry that we couldn't have that why did he have to go so early we had so many things left to do we were suppose to grow old together and now i am going to grow old alone!!!It is okay for you to be depressed Kay and your right you are always so up beat and so much help to me with all my depressed moods....Have a great evening!!!!

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Kay,

I'm sorry you didn't have a nice birthday. I had high hopes for you this year and it sounds like you did too. Are you okay after your fall? It's those things that scare me most. ..getting injured with no one there to help. These setbacks are just that, my friend. Please know that I'm holding you in prayer as you ride this wave.

Kath

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Hi Kay:

Happy birthday. I hope that you have many happy ones in the future. You have always been such a constant poster on line, that I miss when we don't hear from you. I know what you mean about eating a bowl of cereal alone. I eat all of my meals alone, except maybe once a week I go out to dinner with a friend.

Hope that you are feeling better.

Love and God Bless,

Jeanne

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Happy Belated Birthday Kay. Sorry you're feeling bummed, but don't feel bad for complaining. Its all these events (i.e. birthdays, anniversaries), coupled with being alone that also bum me out. Its difficult not to compare our current partner with our old partner, they were such a big part of our lives that we mourn even their actions, attitudes, and wish we could experience that again. But don't feel guilty for missing that.

I hope you have a good weekend and get to spend some time with Jim to help you out of this depression, and back to your upbeat self again.

xo

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Happy birthday, Kay - please don't be sorry about being depressed - you have a right to be, with all the crap that's come down. Just try to take extra care of yourself now. I'm hoping you feel better soon, both physically and emotionally. Love and Hugs, Marsha

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Thank you for your overwhelming response! My knee seems to be healing fine, but Arlie took me down again today...this time into a barbed wire fence, got a nasty gash. Kath, be glad your dog isn't as big! Still, it was Arlie that gave me kisses last night and this morning and never fails to entertain me!

Jim called last night after he got home from work and said he wished he could have spent my birthday with me, and I know he meant it, he worked a very long day yesterday...sometimes things just don't go as planned. I felt like a spoiled brat last night, but somehow the fall, the empty nest, my flu, getting the bum financial news, the hectic pace at work, the computer problems, and the last straw...Jim having to cancel being with me, it all just combined to make me feel sorry for myself. Anyway, today's a new day and hopefully it'll get better!

Love,

Kay

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Kay:

Sorry I missed your birthday - I didn't see this post until just now. For me, it is hard to cook. I have never really enjoyed cooking, and now, with just me to cook for (and Kailyn to a very small degree, as she is only 8 months old), it is so depressing. I miss the salads Scott used to make for me....

I sure hope the gash heals quickly. But I know what you mean - pets are worth far more than a little cut or bruise or scratched up furniture. They bring laughter and comfort in immeasurable ways.

Happy Belated Birthday!

Korina

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Yes I'm new to this site but I will keep you in my prayers. Sounds like you've had a rough time of it and illness and disappointments naturally get us down but look forward to a new day. Each day is a new beginning for me.

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Kay,

You have such a right to share the good and bad with us. It was so nice to see that we can heal and still have some sad days. We will never be the same, birthdays, anniversaries will all never be the same with out our true loves. Even though you have found happiness with all you've have been through, it is a lot for anyone. Please accept all our hugs for continued good days and a very speedy recovery. Thank you for all your good and wonderful posts and thank you for this one too.

God Bless and Happy Birthday

Laurie

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