teny Posted October 27, 2009 Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 Hellow my far away friends.Im sorry for posting today because some new friends here may feel disapoinded,Monday will be 3 years since I lost Yiany and 6 months from my mothers death..I know I have survived but Im not in life .I try alot but grief is my new identity.I look at old photos and then myself at the mirror and can not believe its me the same Teny lost without his love .My family is loving and close but the only love I can feel is lost love.I would like to know how are you my old friends here doing?.Iv lost some of you .Does that mean you are progresing?or you dont find any reson to post ? I need your support for monday.Love from far away Teny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
valley Posted October 27, 2009 Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 Dear Teny, My husband died almost 14 months ago and I feel very much like you do. I work hard at trying to stay up and get things done, but inside I feel like I am broken into a million pieces with no real direction at all. I am trying to put some of the pieces back together as I know my husband would expect that of me. My heart goes out to you. Grief is a long, hard journey and I hope that you will beable to find a place inside yourself to be comfortable again and feel happiness. From Canada to you, hugs. Valley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeanneC Posted October 27, 2009 Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 Hi Teny: It has been a long time since you have posted. It is 16 months now since I lost Alex. I know, we all seem to have survived, but things will never be the same. And I find that the only people that do understand that are right here. My friends and family think they know what I am going through, but until it happens to them, they really don't. Teny, I hope you are in good health and everything is OK in Greece. Love and God Bless, Jeanne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted October 27, 2009 Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 Teny my far away friend, I am sorry I have not been on much or replied to your personal message. I have a herniated disc in my neck and it is very painful and being on the computer makes it worse. I could never forget you my dear friend and am in much the very same place you are. I am missing Steve more than ever and wishing he was here every minute of every day... especially now as my health is not so good, he used to take care of me when I needed him, now I just cry here all alone. I too have very loving family and friends but it is just not the same, there are quite a few of us here whom I believe will not move on as well as the others, so sad. I will be with you on Monday Teny, just like I always want to be. Love Always, Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryo Posted October 27, 2009 Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 Hi Teny, I am at the 15 month of my husband death. Today I sat on a bench at the cemetery and watched the geese walk around. The sun was shining and it was very peaceful. I hope monday will be a very peaceful day for you and your family. Take care. Mary Lou Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeanneC Posted October 27, 2009 Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 Wendy: I was actually thinking about you today. It is such a nice surprise to see you post. I know you must be in a lot of pain. My brother-in-law has the same problem. We have a lot of new members here now, but it is also so nice see other members that have either moved on or are just so busy or like you with health issues. Hopefully you get well soon and we do hear from you more. Love and God Bless, Jeanne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 27, 2009 Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 Teny, Oh Teny, a big hug to you! I'm glad to hear from you. I know it's not the same, it never will be, we all miss them, and you're right, it never goes away. There is no one like the one we lost, that's for sure. I don't think that sends a bad message to all the new ones here, we do learn to go on, but the missing inside our hearts is a tribute to the special people we lost. Life has lost the luster that was once ours...we may try to do time-filler, but it's not the same. I hope you are surrounded by family and friends today and the peace that comes from knowing that you and Yiany's love will never die. Love, Kay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaKoz Posted October 27, 2009 Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 Hi Teny I'm Linda. I lost my fiance, Brian, five weeks ago. I'm glad that you posted today. I already know that I am going to miss Brian for the rest of my life. I have no illusion that my life will become "normal" again. He was the love of my life. It took my entire life to meet him and we only had 3 1/2 years together. But, in that short time we knew that we were soul mates, that we belonged together, that we would love each other forever and always. Sadly, forever and always on earth has ended. But, I carry every memory of Brian in my heart and I always will. I hope that in time the severity of my pain will subside a bit. I hope that there will be days when I can smile and laugh. I also know that I will probably cry every day for the rest of my life. And, I look forward to the day when God calls me home because I know that Brian will be waiting for me and we will bask in our love in the presence of God. It saddens me that we must all walk through this journey of grief. I understand that it is different for each of us but I also know that we have a lot of common feelings, emotions, and thoughts. Thank you for sharing and I offer my thoughts and prayers as you approach the three year date of your beloved's passing. Peace, love, and blessings, Linda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted October 27, 2009 Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 Teny, our dear faraway friend, we are here for you, and we will be here for you as long as you need us to be here for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarrysGirl Posted October 27, 2009 Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 Teny, I was actually thinking of you and wondering how you were. I miss the others who began this journey with me, you included. I am a changed person also since Larry's death and I will be at 4 yrs. Nov. 16. Seems impossible that the time has passed. I wish for you some peace and comfort soon and will be holding you in my thoughts on Monday, our dear friend. Deborah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Korina Posted October 28, 2009 Report Share Posted October 28, 2009 Teny: I am only at 4 months, and miss my hubby dearly. I have a lot of firsts to go through, yet. I too, have a loving family. My mother-in-law is suffering terribly, as not only has she lost her son, but she lost her husband 19 years earlier. And my mom lost her mom before she was married. So I do have people who understand such unexpected and tragic loss, and have been of comfort. I think I have been of some comfort for my mother-in-law, as well (I hope). At 4 months, my emotions have been all over the place. But one thing I do know is that a piece of my heart, my soulmate, is gone from me in the physical sense. But I promised him I would raise our daughter as best as I can, so that is my primary mission in life. It gives me something to live for. There are some other things I plan to do that I know would make him proud. I will do my best. But though any accomplishments in the future will be coloured by this awful loss, ripping of my heart, I will imagine him watching me with pride (try, anyhow...), and giving me some pointers when I need them (and forgiving my failings). I will be thinking of you as you come up to your anniversary. Hugs, Korina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted October 28, 2009 Report Share Posted October 28, 2009 Thanks so much Jeanne, I think about you and the others all the time and miss everyone very much. Like Teny I will be approaching the 3 year mark soon and this has been one hell of a ride for me and lately I have gone way back in my grieving and I do not want the new people to feel that they can not progress and move on by listening to me. For some reason also just reading all the new peoples posts seems to set me back also, I am not sure why but it does. I will try more to check in here and there when my neck is more healed. Thanks so much for saying hello.... Hugs and Prayers, Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teny Posted October 28, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2009 Dear farawy friends thank you so much for beeing here for me.I feel so sorry to know that so many of us after long hurting time are strugeling with the derible emotion called grief.My family is close I have loving grandchildren and my new granddaughter ,< she is 6 months > but adding all I have can not replace lost life and love.I do miss him every sigle day and night.I admire people that are strong and get over it and go on find happines in life.Thank you all and it was so good to have my older friends back again.Love Teny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrspapajohn Posted October 28, 2009 Report Share Posted October 28, 2009 Teny, my dear friend - - I wlll be with you on Monday, thinking about both you and Yiany. It is only a little less than 10 months since I lost Stephen, but every day seems like a new anniversary and I seem to only miss him more. I wish you peace and happiness and I send you (((hugs))) through cyberspace. Wendy - - I am so sorry about your neck. I have a torn rotator cuff, so I know the pain just typing into the keyboard can bring. Like you, I so miss my husband even more now. On top of the pain, I feel sorry for myself because he is not here to take care of me. I have missed seeing your posts also. Please come back when you can and get well soon. Kathy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jsph110 Posted October 30, 2009 Report Share Posted October 30, 2009 Sorry for your loss Tenny. Keep posting your feelings. you can add me on your msn: syoks@hotmail.com if you ever want to talk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted October 30, 2009 Report Share Posted October 30, 2009 Thank you Kathy, I hope you feel better soon also. The minute the doctor told me I had a herniated disc in my neck my first thought was to tell Steve as he always wondered why my neck was always bothering me and why I would always ask him to give me a massage which always helped. I then realized he is not here to tell, strange after almost 3 years how you can still forget sometimes. Love Always, Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shhh65 Posted October 31, 2009 Report Share Posted October 31, 2009 Dear Teny, I don't get on here much anymore either. I check in and read sometimes to see if anyone has been able to find happiness because it feels like I will never ever be truly happy again. It's so hard when everything you had planned for your golden years is ripped away after nearly 43 years of marriage. I keep reaching out to other widows, I plan and take trips, I exercise, and then I come home to this empty house. I turn on the TV for noise, I sleep with the TV on because I'm afraid of noises I hear when I go to bed, and I wonder why I'm so afraid because if I died, it would get me to where I want to be...with Harry. You are not alone. I try to put on my happy face because when I don't have it on I get questioned and the people questioning me can't really help because there is no answer. Now you know why I don't post here because I'm crying as I read what I type so how in God's name could this post help anyone else? I've been told recently (by another widow no less) that I'm negative which really hurt my feelings...but in rereading this I have to face the fact that she is right. On the anniversary of Harry's death last year (year one) I had a little ceremony in the yard where he died. I plan to repeat it again this Decembr 22nd (year two). It seems to give me something to focus on to prepare me for that terrible day. I don't know if you do anything like that as a memorial but it might help somewhat. I will be praying for you. Love, Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kath Posted November 1, 2009 Report Share Posted November 1, 2009 Dear Teny, I am sorry this is still so hard. The sadness hit me again this weekend, too. Maybe it's the change of seasons, I don't know. I was telling some people at work about when I first met my husband and the things we would do together. As I drove home, the story continued on in my mind. (I have over an hours drive, so there was a lot of time to think.) I started remembering how when I met Bob, my winter coat was my spring coat with a sweater inside. This was unacceptable to him. Living in Minnesota, it can be quite cold for most of the year, and he strongly believed that if you are going to get out and enjoy it, you have to be dressed for the weather. He bought me warm coats, boots, hats, gloves, and always made sure I was taken care of. I realized, no one else has ever cared about me like he did. I don't know that he made a difference in the lives of a lot of people, but he certainly made a difference in mine. The absence of that love is stifling. I forced myself to go out tonight with some friends from work. Then I drove home alone. I pray that, someday, this emptiness will leave our hearts. Kath Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Korina Posted November 1, 2009 Report Share Posted November 1, 2009 Dear Teny, I don't get on here much anymore either. I check in and read sometimes to see if anyone has been able to find happiness because it feels like I will never ever be truly happy again. It's so hard when everything you had planned for your golden years is ripped away after nearly 43 years of marriage. I keep reaching out to other widows, I plan and take trips, I exercise, and then I come home to this empty house. I turn on the TV for noise, I sleep with the TV on because I'm afraid of noises I hear when I go to bed, and I wonder why I'm so afraid because if I died, it would get me to where I want to be...with Harry. You are not alone. I try to put on my happy face because when I don't have it on I get questioned and the people questioning me can't really help because there is no answer. Now you know why I don't post here because I'm crying as I read what I type so how in God's name could this post help anyone else? I've been told recently (by another widow no less) that I'm negative which really hurt my feelings...but in rereading this I have to face the fact that she is right. On the anniversary of Harry's death last year (year one) I had a little ceremony in the yard where he died. I plan to repeat it again this Decembr 22nd (year two). It seems to give me something to focus on to prepare me for that terrible day. I don't know if you do anything like that as a memorial but it might help somewhat. I will be praying for you. Love, Sherry Sherry: You are much further along in your journey than I am, so who am I to say, but what comes to mind are words that I have seen many, many times on this forum. Your journey is your own, and yours alone. Nothing can rush you or force you to change how you feel. One thing I want to do as I move along this path is to do volunteer work in his honour - it gives me something to work towards that I feel he would be proud of. Hugs, Korina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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