Rochel Posted November 19, 2009 Report Share Posted November 19, 2009 Hi Forum Family, Today is my husbands birthday...and I was reminded by our insurance company because they called to wish him a Happy Birthday...which started much sadness...I was doing okay until the call and I looked at our pictures from our Hawaiian photos...Now, I can't kid myself like I do somedays when I don't want to cry...It is so hard to give the grief a Holiday...and tell it to go away...So to honor Bob...I want to give him a big kiss and hug and say Happy Birthday my Darlin Man...Rochel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David'sGirlStill Posted November 19, 2009 Report Share Posted November 19, 2009 Oh Rochel, I am so sick of automated messages and greetings. I'm sorry that happened to you. Do what's best for you, if it's tears.. so be it. I join you in wishing your husband Happy Birthday. Hugs Phyllis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rochel Posted November 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Thanks Phyllis, This was a real person...oh yeah, since your husband has passed...we may have to up the premiums...well, that's nice...good news for the widow on a Thursday afternoon...can you tell a little bent-ness....Rochel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarrysGirl Posted November 20, 2009 Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 I join you in wishing Bob Happy Birthday! I hope you made it through the day okay, take care, Deborah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laurieb Posted November 20, 2009 Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Rochel, your picture with you and your husband is beautiful! You obviously shared a wonderful life and love with your husband. God Bless Laurie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat2005 Posted November 20, 2009 Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Rochel, What a great picture! I am so glad you figured out how to post it on the site. I join you in wishing Bob, "Happy Birthday". Take care my friend, Kat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaKoz Posted November 20, 2009 Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Hi Rochel, I'm saying a prayer for you and also sending birthday wishes and blessings to your beloved, Bob. I know this had to be a tough day for you. It makes me sad to hear that the insurance company called. Hang in there, my friend. Baby steps. One moment at a time. I'm asking God to surround you with love, comfort, and peace. Somehow, someway, we will keep walking through the shadows together. And, one day we will find a glimmer of light along with hope that we will find solace for our souls. Thanks for sharing the picture of you and Bob. I'm glad that you were successful in the post. It's a beautiful picture. Hang on to those happy memories. Hugs. Peace, love, and blessings, Linda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kath Posted November 20, 2009 Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Rochel, Tears will never dishonor the ones we love. Not acknowledging them will...Happy Birthday, Bob! I hope you are able to find more happy memories today. Your photo is great. You two are adorable! Kath Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rochel Posted November 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Thanks to everybody for helping me remember my Bob...I stayed busy all day and my friends and my daughter made sure that I did...I listened to my son-in-law playing the bass guitar in a band that plays out - Rock n Roll all night...that felt good and some Blues that was chancy remembering the romance we had had had had when listening to these songs...sad time...but got thru it...Bless you all...Rochel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Korina Posted November 20, 2009 Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Happy Birthday, Bob! We got married in Hawaii 10 years ago, and it was the last vacation we took before Kailyn was born. Those are really hard photos to look at for me, as well. I am so glad you had a good day. Hugs, Korina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azusaman Posted November 20, 2009 Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Rochel, I will join you in wishing Bob a happy birthday. I'll even play a few of my favorite blues tunes today and toast one to you and he. Happy birthday Bob! Ted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rochel Posted November 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Thanks Ted...I'm glad you are starting to feel better....not too much toast...we want to keep you around...Bless you, Rochel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaG Posted November 20, 2009 Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Rochel- I wish a Happy Birthday to Bob as well. This is going to sound crazy and I don't know where you live and what your current weather is like...but if you have it in you...go to a garden center and buy a small tree and plant it. Someone suggested that I do this on the anniversay dates and special occasions that surround Joe and the life we shared. I did it on the one month anniversary of his death earlier this month. It did help some. It got me out of the house and forced me to create a living tribute of that occasion. Just a thought. I will pray for some peace for you today. - Linda G Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rochel Posted November 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Thanks Linda, Yesterday, I did just that I bought some plants and I plan to put in a garden...I will take you up on the idea of a tree later on maybe New Years Eve...will be sad for me...there was always happy times than...Bless you Linda...I know that it has been rough going for you...I love that we can all help one another.....Rochel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azusaman Posted November 20, 2009 Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Thanks Phyllis, This was a real person...oh yeah, since your husband has passed...we may have to up the premiums...well, that's nice...good news for the widow on a Thursday afternoon...can you tell a little bent-ness....Rochel Rochel, I don't understand that insurance premium thing either. We have two vehicles (paid for) and now there is only one driver, but the insurance premium went up. The agent sounded like a political spinmeister trying to explain it to me. Anyhow, I hope your bent-ness is straightened out today. Best, Ted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azusaman Posted November 20, 2009 Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Thanks Ted...I'm glad you are starting to feel better....not too much toast...we want to keep you around...Bless you, Rochel One or two at most. I'm taking an online test for a speeding (photo radar) ticket on Pima and E. Hualapai Dr. They really got a good picture of me though cruising along in my "Z". Hope you make it a great day. Best, Ted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rochel Posted November 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Rochel, I don't understand that insurance premium thing either. We have two vehicles (paid for) and now there is only one driver, but the insurance premium went up. The agent sounded like a political spinmeister trying to explain it to me. Anyhow, I hope your bent-ness is straightened out today. Best, Ted Because Ted my friend...My credit was in my husband's name even though I'm a fine upstanding citizen...When I alerted the credit card company of his death they killed his card, which killed my card...Now after 34 years of paying bills together because I definitely contributed to household monies and since they do not take that into consideration, I have to qualify all over again...In other words...build credit....This is my bent-ness and on this subject I am not striaghtened out...Have a Blessed day...Rochel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrspapajohn Posted November 20, 2009 Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Rochel - - A belated happy birthday from me to Bob. I hope that you made it through the day o.k. I would really question the fact that your insurance went up. Mine went down (Allstate). You might want to think about switching companies. Peace Kathy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azusaman Posted November 20, 2009 Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Because Ted my friend...My credit was in my husband's name even though I'm a fine upstanding citizen...When I alerted the credit card company of his death they killed his card, which killed my card...Now after 34 years of paying bills together because I definitely contributed to household monies and since they do not take that into consideration, I have to qualify all over again...In other words...build credit....This is my bent-ness and on this subject I am not striaghtened out...Have a Blessed day...Rochel Rochel, that really sucks. What more can I say....sometimes nothing at all is best. Ted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Posted November 20, 2009 Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Hi Forum Family, Today is my husbands birthday...and I was reminded by our insurance company because they called to wish him a Happy Birthday...which started much sadness...I was doing okay until the call and I looked at our pictures from our Hawaiian photos...Now, I can't kid myself like I do somedays when I don't want to cry...It is so hard to give the grief a Holiday...and tell it to go away...So to honor Bob...I want to give him a big kiss and hug and say Happy Birthday my Darlin Man...Rochel Dear Rochel, Tears water our wounded hearts. Tears honor your beloved Bob. The small outrages of corporate coldness and larger rages inside ... what is felt must be expressed. There is no dishonor in any aspect of grief. Grief is a wild forest surrounded by rough water ... lonely and dangerous for the tenderhearted. This is my first post. I am so very, very angry at those who do not cry. I'm angry at those who do not mourn. I am shocked by our times ... hungry and homeless in America ... we've got to cry. Doctors give us drugs so we won't feel, won't cry. I'm so very grateful I found this site, where tears aren't viewed as mental instability, lack of coping, lack of character. We have a right to grieve. We have a need to grieve. Dirge Without Music I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground. So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind: Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned. Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you. Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust. A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew, A formula, a phrase remains,—but the best is lost. The answers quick and keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love,— They are gone. They are gone to feed the roses. Elegant and curled Is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom. I know. But I do not approve. More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world. Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave Gently they go, the beautiful , the tender, the kind; Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave. I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned. Edna St. Vincent Millay http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/dirge-without-music/ II Time does not bring relief; you all have lied Who told me time would ease me of my pain! I miss him in the weeping of the rain; I want him at the shrinking of the tide; The old snows melt from every mountain-side, And last year's leaves are smoke in every lane; But last year's bitter loving must remain Heaped on my heart, and my old thoughts abide! There are a hundred places where I fear To go,--so with his memory they brim! And entering with relief some quiet place Where never fell his foot or shone his face I say, "There is no memory of him here!" And so stand stricken, so remembering him! Edna St. Vincent Millay, Renascence and Other Poems, Sonnets http://www.gutenberg.org/catalog/world/readfile?fk_files=784369&pageno=20 I have to believe our tears matter. So little of human emotion seems to matter in these times. I honor your tears. I respect them. Our tears are watering the heart of the world. Your picture is beautiful. It is right to ... in any moment ... to "stand stricken, so remembering him." Thank you for being here. Greta Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaKoz Posted November 20, 2009 Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 I found this quote the other day and posted it on my facebook account. "There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love.” -Washington Irving I find my tears to be very healing and consider them a gift or a blessing from God. They help to release the incredible emotions which continually well up inside of me. Often after I cry, I experince a brief respite of peace. And, I believe that is what my soul is seeking right now -- peace, solace, tranquility. So, I continue to weep as I must and perhaps some day my memories will help me re-experience joy that the moments brought when Brian was with me in a physical sense. Maybe I will find that spiritual connection of our love which will help to sustain me. May we all find those small moments of peace however we are able. May we find moments of comfort today and throughout the weekend. Hugs to you all. Peace, love, and blessings, Linda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rochel Posted November 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 One or two at most. I'm taking an online test for a speeding (photo radar) ticket on Pima and E. Hualapai Dr. They really got a good picture of me though cruising along in my "Z". Hope you make it a great day. Best, Ted I used to have a "Z" and I also got a speeding ticket..when I went to dispute it the guy said "that is you"...I said "NO, I think that's my husband in drag, he had the car that day"....No lady, that's you they had me there...good that you can take an on-line test instead of sit for hours...I don't dare speed anymore..takes the fun out of driving....Happy Friday whatever you do...be careful out there...Rochel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rochel Posted November 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Rochel - - A belated happy birthday from me to Bob. I hope that you made it through the day o.k. I would really question the fact that your insurance went up. Mine went down (Allstate). You might want to think about switching companies. Peace Kathy Thanks Kathy, I will look into that....Have a good Friday....Rochel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rochel Posted November 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Thanks Greta...we were very happy in that picture...I was proud to be his wife and he loved me lots...now, this is Friday night and it sucks to be alone...Your poems and words are a blessing...Rochel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azusaman Posted November 21, 2009 Report Share Posted November 21, 2009 Rochel, I laughed out loud when I read your response. I'll bet Bob laughed too. Tryin' to be careful but not too careful, Ted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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