Pretty Bad Night

[Perkins808]

So I spoke earlier of dreading a long weekend, I needed to find something to fill up my time to make it bearable.

Well, I thought I had the perfect plan for the night - I would go and watch the local high school football game. My daughter is in the band and would be there playing tonight. That should keep me busy for a few hours.

I dropped her off an hour before the game and went home where I discovered that my Explorer was dripping anti-freeze. OK, plan B. Jeff's truck is still in the driveway, I'll just take that to get back to the game. Its on empty, so I'll just stop at the gas station after I grab a quick cup of tea. Well, I never even made it that far. About a mile from my house I was pulled over by a cop. I had no idea what I had been pulled over for, I know I wasn't speeding. When the cop approached the car he asked the standard question - do you know why I stopped you?? I admitted that I had no idea. That is when he informed me I was driving an unregistered vehicle. And that would be when I burst into tears. What do you mean an unregistered vehicle? When did the registration expire? He informs me 8 days ago. He then asks me if I have a cell phone on me and I said yes, why? So you can call a friend to pick you up. I asked what I was supposed to do with the truck, just leave it on the side of the road? No....we're going to tow it. Now I am sobbing uncontrollably when he tells me (in a condescending tone) to take a deep breath and relax. Relax? This is my husbands truck. He died in July. It has sat in the driveway since then....and the only reason I am driving it now is because MY vehicle is leaking antifreeze all over the driveway. Can you please just follow me home? I only live a mile away and I will just park it in the yard until I renew the registration. Nope, can't do that....I could lose my job.

Well, after the rough week I have had (did I mention my Dad is in the hospital with cardiac problems and I am now waiting on biopsy results of a mole my daughter discovered on her arm) I was convinced I was losing my mind, didn't really care if he lost his job!!

So, the truck was towed. I had to have a friend come pick me up.....and I get to figure out next week how to get the truck back and registered, and how to get MY vehicle fixed.

Now what I am going to do to keep busy this weekend seems kind of minor in comparison.

[Billw]

Wow Tammy, I hope you are o.k. What a night.... Some days are like that and it just wouldn't seem like it could get worse and then it does. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers this weekend. I am home tonight after helping my oldest boy get ready to paint his house, we are going to finish tomorrow. I had the same gut wrenching feeling about the weekend for a while today but I have a project to do now thank God. Take care of yourself and hope things are better tomorrow. BW

[Lindakay]

I had a car issue also that dragged on for months. When we moved here to NC from Fla. We had two RAVs. I registered the blue one first and got tags and stuff changed over and our Driver's Lic. Then a month later the black one. Here you pay a car tax a few months later on each. Well this last year one was taken in to inspect it and then get the new tags. The Toyota said you don't need to inspect it, last year you paid ahead?? So I got my tag. Then the next mo I sent in for a tag on the black. They sent the money back saying I didn't get it inspected first. With company at my house here and there and holidays...it sat in the garage. I tried to take it one day to catch up. It wouldn't start. So I knew I'd have to have my Triple A start it. Sat a few more months since I was having remodelling done. So I call Triple A and told them the problem. They said it wasn't street legal with an expired tag and they wouldn't come. Now I have the expensive version of Triple A. I asked if I couldn't start it how can I take it in to inspect it so I could get the tag. They didn't care. So I called a reg battery company and just got a new battery too. They were apallled that Triple A wouldn't do it. They also said to drive it 70 miles at least to reset the computer or it wouldn't pass. Illegal to drive it..so I did. I was expecting a big fine being 7-8 month over due for a 2010 tag. I get there and they give me a 2011 sticker and no fine??? This was the car he committed suicide in too. I mentioned my new problem is when I do want to do something/I procrastinate so I don't feel overwhelmed or pressured. That's new grief behavior. Never did that before. Did it on taxes the same year. They owed me so no fines.What state are you in? NC is very forgiving.LindaKay

[melina]

This really was a rough start to the weekend. I'm so sorry about all you had to go through. It's like a major distraction from wondering about how to fill the weekend.

After we came home from the funeral our hot water tank broke down, along with the dishwasher and washing machine. Not only that, but I woke up the next morning to find that the garbage bag I'd put on the doorstep had been ripped apart - crows or animals, don't know - and garbage was all over the yard.

A friend of mine said that this was God giving me a distraction from the horror and pain of my loss. If so, it was a pretty weird distraction. I hope God chooses a better distraction next time I need one.

Hope the rest of your weekend is at least a little better.

Melina

[kayc]

I am so sorry you got an uncaring cop. He could have helped you instead of having your truck towed, they do have some discretion. The longer it sits at the tow place, the more $ it costs to get it out as they charge daily charges. Do you have a male friend or brother that can take a look at your car and see why the antifreeze is leaking? Is it coming from the radiator or the overflow?

I'm sorry Hon, big hugs! It's this kind of stuff I hate and it makes me feel so alone. As my sister told me this week, you ARE alone. Great. I didn't need that emphasized.

[Queeniemary]

Perkins808, what a jerk the cop was....my husband was in law enforcement, and he would have been outraged over the insensitive jerk. Of course he could have let you drive it back home, of course he could have been understanding. Sometimes they just like to show they are in "Charge". What a Jerk!! Sorry, that just makes me so mad. You weren't even 10 days over the registration, and usually you have at least that much grace period to get the tags.

Sorry you had to run across such a clod.

Ok I am finished ranting, but this type of "I am the cop, you must do as I say", attitude just burns me.

It is a rough start to your weekend, but it is a major distraction. Maybe you can be so mad at the cop it will distract you from other things....worrying about your dad and daughter. Praying all goes well with them.

Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas

[nats]

Perkins808,

Well I seem to have noticed how the world is since Ruth's leaving, meaaning I'm more aware of the lack of compassion and caring people seem to have and your story just enforces that more, here we have an individual who is sworn in to "protect and serve" and look at how he handled the situation like a complete non caring person who failed in his oath, don't get me wrong I am in no way judging him he just did not do his job in my opinion, I'm the kind of person that kind of situation just gets me going and I assure you the local paper or TV would have heard that story had it happened to me.....I hope and pray you get it all cleared up, keep a positive outlook and continue to keep moving forward....

NATS

[sunstreet]

I am sorry you experienced a cop who was more into that "power and dominance" space than the "commpassionate human being" space. I am angry that you experienced that. I hope you know that it says nothing about you and everything about him. As if our journey is not hard enough already! The insensitivity of some humans just outrages me at times. I start wondering if they are aliens or am I the alien.

Thinking and hoping your Father and Daughter are ok. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Blessings, Carol Ann

[Perkins808]

Just an update:

My Dad is out of the hospital after having a cardiac procedure to regulate his heart rate and is doing great. My daughter's biopsy came back negative. I was able to get Jeff's truck out of impound and it is now legally registered.

I found a wonderful guided imagery CD - it came in the mail two days ago and I can't believe how calming it is. The next time I am hit with so many stressful things (and I'm sure there will be a next time!) I will just pop in the CD and remember that this too shall pass!

Life is good!

Tammy

[Kat2005]

Tammy,

Thanks for the update. I am so glad to hear your dad is doing better and that is great news about your daughter.

It is nice to hear some good news. I would love to know the name of the CD that you got.

Take care, Kat

[Perkins808]

The CD is called: A Meditation to Ease Grief by Belleruth Naparstek

Here is the link: http://www.healthjourneys.com/product_detail.aspx?id=11

It did bring up such deep emotion, but it was amazing to feel such emotions in a very calm relaxed way.

[Kat2005]

Thanks!

Kat

[MartyT]

Tammy, dear, I'm so pleased to know that you have this beautiful guided imagery CD and you found it to be helpful. It's such a simple, inexpensive way to help yourself through a rough spot. I have it also, and it is one of my very favorites. (Kat, I think you will love it, too!)

[abergsma]

I just went on the site and just from listening to the sample I felt my shoulders lighten and calmer. I am definitely going to purchase this CD. Thank you for sharing.

Allana