Transformations On This Path

[feralfae]

Thank you Mary, for the encouragement toward resting.

My primary plan for the day is to read a book, roast a chicken, and make a salad.

Meeting was peaceful, then I went for a drive up and over the Continental Divide, just to see all the beauty of fall in the mountains.

I hope you and Bentley are having a peaceful, restful day as well.

namaste,

fae

[mfh]

A ride in autumn is a gift. The salad and roasted chicken is also. I was going to do a drive today but got way laid by an unexpected visitor and now it is gray and cloudy. Ah, well. Enjoy your book and meal. Mary

[feralfae]

Dear Mary,

I wish you and Bentley a wonderful day, and maybe the opportunity to take a drive into the beauty of the season. I have been shifting my entire work schedule around so I can spend some time before winter being out of doors and delighting my eyes, nose, and all my senses by being in the forests' celebrations of another good growing season, as the trees dress in their festive colors and the grasses offer their seeds to the animals.

Thank you for your kind words.

namaste,

fae

[Queeniemary]

I had a pretty nice weekend. Friends over on Saturday night, we all cooked together. My friend Tom brought some of the salmon he caught in Alaska, and my friend Joe made a lemon caper sauce for it, we also had other vegys, and another friend brought a raspberry chiffon pie, it was really good. My young friend Jules had picked up some crab Rangoon, which I love. A very nice night. Went to church the next morning, we have a new priest and yesterday was his first Sunday. The walls held....my attendance has been sporadic to say the least.

I go for an aorta ultrasound in the morning, no cause for alarm. I had one about 4 years ago when I had a heart scare and was over night in the hospital....nothing wrong, they decided, but apparently they had done one then, and my doctor said we probably should do another.

Been cleaning out closets and purging old papers, newspaper articles, etc. Really tired tonight. Getting ready for my TV night...Big Bang Theory, Scorpion, and The Voice. Going to have a glass of wine, read and watch my favorite shows.

QMary

[feralfae]

QMary,

I am so happy you had such a lovely day. I know tomorrow's ultrasound will be fine.
I hope you are getting some extra rest tonight, too. You are going through a tough time, and you need all the play and joy you can find in each day. More sleep is always better.

*<twinkles>*

fae

[Queeniemary]

Thinking of you Fae, I know our memories bring us such sadness at times. Also, as you have acknowledged, they also can bring us great joy. The roller coaster of memories can really hit hard at times.

Kay, glad you enjoyed your time with your sisters, even though it tired you out. Hope you are rested up.

Did not get to watch all my shows last night, just too tired, kept falling asleep in my chair. Thank goodness for DVR, I will watch them today sometime. Actually slept nearly 9 hours, unusual for me. Guess a little physical work is good for me.

QMary

[kayc]

QMary, was wondering how you keep going when I read you slept 9 hours, good for you! Me too, rest well needed! Got my oil changed on my pickup and new wiper blades for it, gassed it up, I'm only getting 9 mpg! And that's without having the 4WD engaged! Don't plan on going anywhere more than I have to this winter!

fae, I hope you enjoyed your time outside. I got my outside water shut off a week ago and am back to having to swish things with gallon containers of water instead of hosing them out. I always love it come Spring when the faucets can be turned back on again!

[feralfae]

I am watering the fruit trees and flower beds today, just in case the weather turns tough soon.

I met with my Doc today, and all the tests of last week came back "beautiful", to quote him. No signs of anything at all this time. Clean, clear and healthy. But more tests in December, because it must be checked often. Just fine with me.

I drove the MGB in today, and took it for a spin on a little country road (paved) that goes up into the mountains a ways. The aspen are heavenly beautiful shades of gold, yellow, light orange, and bright yellow. Sunny and warm day. I am so thankful to be alive.

I have a bit of work at the desk. I am so happy everyone is doing well, that QMary had a super night of sleep, and that we are all having a good day, I hope.

Peace and healing to all our hearts.

*<twinkles>*

fae

[kayc]

fae,

I'm so glad for the "beautiful" test results! Also that you are enjoying life.

I took Arlie to the park this morning...he wore his coat but his head got soaked, so I came home and built a fire. A nice day to be in.

[Wifflesnook]

Truly great news Fae. Jan

[feralfae]

Oh, gosh, Kay, your rain gets here tonight. I have laid in firewood, closed the windows that were open to the lovely air, and have put on my down vest. Glad you had a fun walk with Arlie, and so glad you two can be home cozy and warm. And dry.

Thank you everyone for celebrating another little "good thing" in my life. They are slowly mounting up and becoming a trend I can identify as I look at it from a perspective that allows me to see back a couple of years. Whew! The times of sobbing and feeling broken are still with me, but now I know that they will pass, that this sense of complete broken-ness is not my walking-around "normal" state any more. That is a huge shift. And it is easier to "pull myself together" when I need to do so. That is wonderful.

nattering...

I remain more introspective than I might have been in my life. I have a lot more patience. I think I see G*d's hand more in my days and in the world, and most especially in the beauty of our Earth. Having had the most terrible loss of my life, the little losses, even death, don't hold any fear any more. Who cares? I am doing better for my heart and spirit as I learn to focus more on the good stuff. My batts are sorted and shelved, I need to get some fishing line to make new cutting tools (I make my own tools a lot) and I got a couple new tools that are to make other tools. My grinder is set up. My cut hand is almost healed. I have learned to wear gloves while doing anything with firewood, outside, or in the garage.

All this marvelous garage cleaning! I am only just starting to be able to sort Doug's tools on his shop bench. I think there is more of his energy over there than almost anywhere else. He did art, maintenance, repairs, so much there. All around me are projects he did, things he made. I am sure that many of you have the same 'Sense of Spouse' when you move into their spaces. I am taking it very slow, and glad others are as well.

I am off to make braised, shredded kale with lemon juice, olive oil, salt, pepper, and perhaps a bit of sautéed minced onion.

end of natter.

*<twinkles>*

fae

[Queeniemary]

Since I mentioned the aorta ultrasound on this thread of Fae's, thought I would follow up here. Apparently several years ago when I had the first aorta ultrasound, there was an aneurysm of about 3. No one told me, my Dr. thought I knew, so it never came up until this year when he looked at my charts and thought I should have a follow up one. The one Tuesday had to be rescheduled for Thursday, as no one told me to fast. Thursday's showed a size of 3.2. Dr. told me they do not worry until expands to 4 or larger, usually 5 is getting critical. He said I need an ultra sound annually. I read up on this, and sounds like the surgery for it (should it ever come to that) is not a walk in the park, but still better that having the aneurysm pop, and bleeding out, which according to the dr. can happen real fast. Warning signs are sudden sharp back ache and/or stomach pains. Things to do to help prevent expansion of aneurysm are healthy eating, exercise and NO SMOKING. Since I am working on the first two, and not doing the third, then I think I am in pretty good place. My family is freaking out, as we just went through the brain aneurysm surgeries with my sister, and the aftermath. I tell them, this is a totally different scenario. I was probably better off, however, not knowing about the aneurysm, because now every time I have unexplained pains I am going to think it is the aneurysm!!

Life is sure interesting!!

QMary

[Queeniemary]

Fae, so very happy of your "beautiful" test results!! Your drive sounded wonderful. The leaves are starting to turn here, and next weekend, the 25th my friend Joe and I are driving to Eureka Springs for another Mini Cooper Rally. The colors should be super traveling that weekend.

QMary

[mfh]

QMary, so glad you will be monitored more closely with annual aorta ultrasounds. I hope the fear dissipates so you are not feeling every ache and pain is a symptom. I am certain I would be doing the same thing but as time goes on, hopefully that will not happen. I can understand your family's fear esp with your sister in the situation she is in.

Are you meditating? It could help you relax. There are some guiden meditations on the meditation string.

[feralfae]

QMary,

I am glad to hear that the ultrasound showed so little change after all this time, but also glad you will have it checked annually now. And I know you are doing all you can to stay as healthy as you can. The Mini-Cooper rally sounds so fun! A neighbor who retired a few months ago has one —a retirement celebratory gift from her husband for her, so she could drive around in a cute little car. We eave enthusiastically at each other when I am out in the MG and she in her mini car.

Have so much fun!

I, too, am approaching the prospect of sorting and cleaning out the garage. Doug's work bench and tools, his notes and all his project things are still there, as well as some fishing gear he has tagged to go to a friend up in Alaska. I know it will be healing and probably peaceful.

We make our way one day at a time, don't we?

*<twinkles>*

fae

[enna]

Everyone sounds so energetic about cleaning out their garages ~ I have a two car and anyone interested can come and help me. Instead, I choose to play with my grand dog, Fred, this weekend. I wonder ~ does that make me a procrastinator!

I think that the fall colors are going to be brilliant all over the states this year. We are having some of the most beautiful colors due to all the rain we’ve had here. I have to drive about an hour and a half to see them but it is worth it.

I like hearing good news and what better good news than fae’s clear test results and Qmary’s so so good ultrasound news. I would like it better if there was no aneurysm.

Have a good weekend whatever y’all are doing. Mine will be taken up with walking Fred, reading, playing with Fred, and reading. . .sounds like a good plan for me ~ cleaning will have to wait until Monday, maybe. Looks like I'm taking some of Mary's advice.

[mfh]

Anne, I am so glad you will spend the weekend with Fred....no garage work, no cleaning...just Fred. I am trying to find a home for a friend's wonderful kitty and am so tempted to keep her myself as she is just awesome but I won't do that to Bentley (or me). Just glad you have Fred for a few days.

[kayc]

_{Alas, cleaning out the garage is what I SHOULD be doing, but I need my son's help as most of the stuff is his. With winter approaching and a baby on the way, I have no idea how long it'll be before he can come back and do something with all his stuff here...it'll take several trips.}

QMary, I am appalled that they missed telling you about your aneurysm but I'm glad they're monitoring it now. I hope you remember that you have a lot of people here that care about you and will keep you in prayer.

[Queeniemary]

Anne, your weekend sounds great, play with Fred, read and relax. A good recipe for us all. Things are changing at my house for a brief period of time. My daughter's divorce will be final on Monday. She and Wayne (new fellow) will be looking for a house together, in the meantime, she and her oldest daughter are moving in with me. They will need to find a house that allows pets, as Wayne has a dog, and sometimes that is hard to find, and they need one big enough for three teenage daughters! They probably will not be here for more than two months at the most, but will be a definite change. I both look forward to it, and dread it!! My daughter's youngest daughter is living with her Dad, but is with her Mom nearly every weekend, and many days through the week. This is a small town, so easy for all to see each other. This is what precipitated the closet cleaning.... Should be an interesting couple of months, my daughter and I have not lived together since she was a teenager for any length of time. She did stay with me for a month after Mike died, because of my TKR, she took good care of me. This, however, will be different.

QMary

[mfh]

QMary, I can totally understand the mixed feelings..pretty normal. You have your privacy, your solitude, your lifestyle and routine and all of that will get affected. On the other hand, it will be fun (perhaps) to have them there and share time and space.

[kayc]

I can imagine how you must be feeling, QMary, as I kind of feel that way when my son and his wife and dogs come for the weekend. I love seeing them and esp. getting to spend time with my granddogs, but it sure upsets the routine, doesn't it! I find the older I get the more set in my ways (and routine) I am, ha! I hope it all goes well and you aren't too worn out from it all. Perhaps you need a daily time to "retreat" for a nap? (read, do your nails, soak in a bathtub, sleep, do something for YOU!

[enna]

QMary, it does sound like your life will be a little up side down for a while. I love my daughter but I could never live with her for a long period of time ~ mostly because I have grown accustomed to a different life style. My grands are still young right now so I give most of my attention to them when I visit or when they visit. I love the quiet times I have with my daughter but only in short increments. I understand the “looking forward to it and dreading it” aspect.

I continue to get pressure from my daughter about selling my home here and moving back to IL. I cannot even think about that at this time for I could think of nothing more heartbreaking than to leave this home that Jim and I had built in 1999 and lived in until he died. This is where I belong. I would love to be closer to my grands and some friends I still have there but I can’t imagine buying another place in what would be a strange place to me if I did move back ~ and who says that my daughter and her family would even stay where they are ~ the young move frequently!

As Mary said, “You have your privacy, your solitude, your lifestyle and routine and all of that will get affected.”

My time with my grand dog, Fred, has been joyous. The kids are returning tomorrow morning and I’m not looking forward to the quiet. It has been good for me. His favorite treats are carrots. I will miss him.

[kayc]

Anne, I'm glad you enjoyed your time with your granddoggy, Fred. My granddoggy just got sprayed by a skunk...quite severely. I love him so much I'd even take care of him and bathe him if he was here...good thing they live far enough I don't have to though!

[Queeniemary]

Fred is adorable looking, Anne. I am happy that you have been having such a grand time with him. I do love my daughter, but she does have a mind of her own...quite vocally at times...so it will be good that this stay will be only a couple of months at the most...and possible shorter if they can find a house! The up side is that she and my granddaughter like to play games, so I may get a good amount of board games or card playing in while they are here! Yes Mary, it will change everything, but I have already laid down a couple of ground rules...one, I will not be cooking meals for us all, all the time (perhaps occasionally). I just don't cook that much, and see no reason to change that. Also they must park their cars where I cannot possibly back into them when I am turning around to get out of my driveway...I am notorious for backing into other vehicles . I think Sandy will be spending a lot of time with Wayne, so probably mostly in the evenings it will be me and the granddaughter, and she is pretty quiet and does her own thing. She is 18, what can I say!! They got mostly moved in yesterday, and will be finishing up this afternoon. Both will be gone during the days through the week, school and work, so my days will be my own still.

QMary

[mfh]

Anne, Fred is adorable....I am sure you will miss his presence. I can only imagine the pressure you get to move. I totally understand "starting over" somewhere else and giving up the house you shared with Jim. I look ahead and with no family at all here I ask myself if I should consider a move out East to where my sister (5 years younger and HIGH energy) and my nieces are. But THIS is my home. I get it, Anne. I am so glad you had Fred for a while.

QMary, I admire your courage and generosity to have your daughter and granddaughter moving in. One more rule suggestion might include the playing of loud music, which would drive me insane. Just a thought Perhaps we can all visualize the house they will find....so it happens really quickly.

Kay, our last dog Buffy who we had in the woods, got sprayed a few times by skunk. One time he ran directly to our creek and for the most part was not too bad since it was instant clean up but he still lived in the mud room for several days. Tomato juice is NOT a solution we learned...just messy. Time works pretty well once the initial scrub is over. But we do what we do for our furbabies, don't we?