Articles Worth Reading

[kayc]

It's interesting thinking of our life's memories as a Kaleidoscope, but it is like that, and they flit in and out, you never know which will emerge.

[MartyT]

"I’ve found that most of us don’t take grief seriously enough. It takes a huge toll of us. Grief is body-slamming, mind-numbing, heart-breaking, and soul-rattling. It’s exhausting."

How to Handle the EXHAUSTION of Grief  ~ a terrific article by Gary Roe via The Grief Toolbox

[enna]

PESKYMONKEY VIA GETTY IMAGES

Stifled Grief: How the West has it Wrong

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michelle-e-steinke/stifled-grief-how-the-wes_b_10243026.html 

 

[MartyT]

With Grief Is More Than Sadness, our friends over at What's Your Grief? share a guest blog by Allison Gilbert, who describes her book, Passed and Present: Keeping Memories of Loved Ones Alive ~ "a bona fide 'how-to' manual [that] teaches us how to remember those we miss most, no matter how long they’ve been gone." 

[enna]

I liked listening to Sheryl Sandberg's address to Berkley grads because it is so inspiring. 

We can choose JOY after the death of a loved one. It is a choice. Thanks for the link, Marty. It's on my Pinterest site under those who inspire me. 

 

[enna]

'grief isn't broken: it can't be fixed"

Once again Megan Devine tells it like it is...

 

[enna]

A good article discussing emotional and psychological trauma after a significant loss ~ the loss can be from our own illness, from the death of a loved one, injury, abuse, attacks on our person, a financial loss, the loss of an animal, or a national disaster (fire, tornado, hurricane, earthquake, etc.),  

Emotions can be all over the place no matter what the loss. There are strategies that can help us when the stress becomes too overwhelming. We are grieving and the article gives us strategies to deal with the trauma. I found it to be worth a share. 

Emotional and Psychological Trauma from HelpGuide.org 

 

[enna]

The grief lens...

http://www.whatsyourgrief.com/the-grief-lens/

 

[enna]

Holding space. 

http://upliftconnect.com/hold-space/  

[MartyT]

This one is a treasure, Anne, and well worth sharing (which I intend to do) ~ Thank you  ♥

[KATPILOT]

This is really good Anne. Thanks for putting it up

[enna]

Dress the Mouse in Black

by Mark Liebenow

 

Grief is a mouse in the house. Unless it’s taken outside now and then, it will nibble a person away and leave an empty husk behind. No one survives death, of course, but some do not survive grief.

I discovered this when my wife Evelyn unexpectedly died of a heart attack in her forties. I had never lost anyone close and didn’t know how to grieve.

Death is hidden from us in mainstream America. We seldom see dead people or mourners, and have come to expect that everyone, except for the unfortunate few, will live to a ripe old age. This expectation didn’t use to be the norm...

http://lunchticket.org/dress-the-mouse-in-black/  

[KATPILOT]

I enjoyed reading this one Anne. It's right on the mark and helps me understand how and why I started my grief's journey as I had.

[kayc]

Informative article. I disagree with the statement, however, that Christians believe God causes or allows everything to happen for a purpose.  I don't believe that.  I believe sometimes that is the case, but sometimes things just happen.

[enna]

Yes, Kay,

I think Mark Liebenow’s statement: “Muslims and Christians believe that God either allows or causes everything to happen for a purpose, so people should be happy, even if loved ones die because they have been chosen to be part of God’s plan. I don’t believe that Evelyn’s death served any purpose. She just died. If anything, it took compassion out of the world because Evelyn was taking care of children who were learning challenged and helping people deal with grief.” was giving a general view and was not meant for it to be that all Christians hold this belief. There are some inaccuracies in his article that have been stated like: “Roman Catholics say a mass for the deceased to help them get into heaven. They also believe in purgatory, a stopover on the way to heaven where the dead atone for their sins before being allowed in.” This is not a belief of every Roman Catholic either. All in all, I think it is a great article and as you said, informative. 

[KATPILOT]

 The best thing about the human animal is the ability to make sense of things while not buying into everything. The uniqueness of the individual allows us to grow and be helped while following our own path.

[enna]

Yes, yes, yes, Stephen.  I really like your thought. 

[kayc]

Well it's what he stated, so I was just going on the record for differing.  Like I said, he did have a lot of information.

[enna]

I never used to be so angry…

Writing without the deeply personal is not the whole story of grief. Especially as I move away from my own early days of grief, it’s important to link back to the person I was back then. I don’t want to forget.

Read more here...

http://www.refugeingrief.com/the-one-i-used-to-be/  

[enna]

An article written by Belleruth Naparstek titled Grief, Loss, and Kindness from Strangers was worth the read.

http://blog.healthjourneys.com/update-from-belleruth/grief-loss-and-kindness-from-strangers.html  

[Widowedbysuicide]

I was registered for six two hour classes on mindfulness.  It was being put on free of charge by Mental Health, in BC, Canada.  I was really looking forward to trying to get better at grieving.  You can imagine my disappointment when they called to say the classes didn't have enough people registered to put it on.  It seems like each time I find a piece of hopefulness something happens to prevent me from experiencing what I was looking forward to.

I have posted here looking for suggestions.  My story in short is I am six months in grief after my husband's unexpected suicide.  It feels like more is going wrong than right and I am feeling like I'm on a sinking ship.  My adult son, also grieving, lives with me and he is very resistant to seeing a grief councellor or anyone else.  I was seeing someone but finances are such that I have to stop seeing her for awhile.

Marita

 

[enna]

Grief and Depression: Are they different?

On May 14, 2012   /   Bereavement and End of Life, Psychology and Mythology

It’s hard to distinguish between grief and depression. When does one slide into the other? Who gets to choose the labels anyway?

Photo by Lauren Cottrell

A New York Times article from January 25, 2012 explored diagnostic labels for mental illness. One proposed change put grief under the umbrella of depression, making a normal human response to loss a pathology. Is every grieving person mentally ill?

In the years after my husband Vic died, it was hard to tell if I was depressed, although it was clear that I was grieving. I had a few bouts of depression earlier in my life that dragged me down and under. The first was in 1967 when I was a freshman at Cornell, before easy access to psychological counseling or antidepressants. But I was grieving then, too. My mother had left for Europe to teach Air Force dependents just before I started my freshman year, and I didn’t see her or talk to her for ten months. I still hadn’t digested my father’s death less than four years before, so the isolation and sense of abandonment were more than I could manage. I crashed into a dark existential despair and tried eating and boozing my way out of it. The following summer, my older brother’s kind girlfriend befriended me. Talking with her helped, and I found my equilibrium without medication or therapy...

Read more here.

[enna]

Hello Marita,

I am looking for some links that may help you with mindfulness. Have you had a chance to visit the Meditation posts under Tools for Healing under the Grief and Loss thread?

I have found many of the suggestions helpful as I grieve the loss of my beloved Jim. 

Mindfulness

A Mindfulness Meditation to Help Cope with Tragedy

Mindfulness and Grief

The Science of Mindfulness by Dan Siegel

Mindfulness Meditation Benefits  

Anne

[MartyT]

Marita, my dear, having insufficient funds to continue with your grief counselor should not be reason enough to go without useful information and support. With access to the Internet, you have at your fingertips dozens upon dozens of resources, many of them offered at no cost. You can try a Google search using the words "online classes in mindfulness" for example. And as Anne has said, our own Meditation thread in the Tools for Healing forum is packed with articles as well as links to books, websites and other resources. You also might try some of Belleruth Naparstek's amazing audio programs with guided imagery ~ another tool available to you at relatively low cost. You might consult your local library, hospice, hospital or funeral home to see what other bereavement support services are available in your community. If you haven't done so already, be sure to take a look at this article, too: Grief Support for Survivors of Suicide Loss   ♥

[Widowedbysuicide]

Thank you Anne.  I just read the article you recommended Mindfulness.  I have bookmarked it  to continue reading the other topics.

There are so many recommended readings in the Tools for Healing that I felt overwhelmed.  I think I need to start at a very basic beginning.  Baby steps so to speak.

Marita