got my dream finally but now don't think I want anymore

[rdownes]

I have been wanting a dream of my Kevin and now that I had one do not think I want anymore, I had a dream last night that I went running up to my Kevin kissing him and he was grinning I told him your here I thought you were dead. He did not say anything he laid on the ground looking for something under the door but it was pitch black under the door again he said nothing, we went to the kitchen and my son was there with bread in his hand I said to him how come you didn't tell me you opened the bread three days ago then I would have know dad was alive. I then woke up and I remember looking around for Kevin then it hit me oh yeah he is dead. I then felt horrible and felt horrible all day, I thought a dream would make me feel better but all it did was make the pain worse, I smile at my butterflies though I don't get it boy does my brain hurt today. I miss him down to my soul.

[Widowedbysuicide]

I'm sorry your dream wasn't a good experience.  This grief life is crappy!  My brain is so fuzzy.

The butterflies is a beautiful thing  I hope your next dream of Kevin is a peaceful one that helps you through some of the hard times.

[kayc]

I think if I could dream of George every night and count on it, I would be a happy camper!  Then I could live for the night when my dreams would come and we could be together.  But alas that's not how it is.  I dream of my ex, my kids' dad, often but rarely George.  But even so, in the dreams you get weird stuff thrown in like a piece of bread could have let you know he was alive?  Or him not saying anything?

If we have a comforting dream where they hold us and tell us they'll never leave us...then wake up only to have it hit us afresh that they're gone, completely and finally gone, it leaves us going through the death all over again.  Can't win sometimes, can we!

7 hours ago, Widowedbysuicide said:

I hope your next dream of Kevin is a peaceful one that helps you through some of the hard times

Me too!

[Cookie]

rdownes:  Read this and could relate.  I have had maybe two dreams about my husband in 15 months, sweet dreams with us hugging, but it hurt so much when I woke up that I, too, was thinking maybe I don't want anymore, and I haven't had any for a while.  This is hard....Cookie

[mittam99]

I've had Tammy appear in dreams from time to time but the moment is fleeting. She's there for a short while and then I can't find her. The thing is, these are just that... dreams. I know some are disappointed they haven't had their  loved ones in their dreams. Two points to remember. One, we often don't remember all of our dreams so you may be seeing them in your dreams and not remembering. Two, there's no reason to feel you're subconsciously "forgetting them"  somehow if they don't appear in your dreams.

What we really want is to be able to go back in time and somehow prevent their death and live happily ever after. Now that would be an amazing dream.

[Gin]

I wanted to dream of Al for so long.  Finally I did and there was so much stupid stuff in it that made no sense.  Then I was trying to figure it out and couldn't.  Not the kind I had hoped for.  Then I would be so upset when I woke up and he wouldn't be here.  Can't win.

[Gwenivere]

I've had my share of dreams about Steve, both good and bad.  I always wake up feeling worse.  Odd as this sounds I've asked him to not come there anymore.  It's just too hard as it is knowing he is gone to have an added emotional boost to that.

[Margm]

If I have dreamed, and I am sure I have, I seem to have amnesia when I awake.  I think that keeps me from reaching for him.  Strange thing, he has never been in this apartment but I can see his skinny bare legs sometimes when I enter the bathroom.  Just an instant image, no real view.  Sometimes I almost think he is here too.  I can argue with myself, but I usually lose.