Queeniemary Posted August 15, 2011 Report Share Posted August 15, 2011 Harry, good for you, glad you had a good evening. So nice when something turns out really good when we don't expect it. Kay, glad you had a good day also, chinese sounds good, and the doggie kisses really good! Mary(Queeniemary) in Arkansas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nats Posted August 15, 2011 Report Share Posted August 15, 2011 Hello All, Positive's for the past week have been many... I'm thankful for another week of living... I'm thankful I've been blessed with good health... I'm thankful I have close friends, only a few but very real... I'm thankful to read good positives from my fellow grieving spouses, we are indeed healing... NATS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheryl Posted August 15, 2011 Report Share Posted August 15, 2011 I have some positives to report. After every weekend I call a co worker in California to chat while I drive. He always asks how my weekend was and as you can imagine I often report that I got through another one and made it to Monday. This weekend was different. On Friday afternoon it included all the usual vaccumming, mopping, bathroom scrubbing, laundry and kitchen chores. Followed by pool and patio maintenance and a quick shower which left me just enough time to meet a friend to go to a comedy club and dinner. By 6:30pm I was sipping on a draft blue moon with a slice of orange and listiening to live music with a group of people I had never met before, and it felt good! Instead of the usual uncomfortable feeligs of being a pink elephant, I actually started up conversations, intoduced myself and laughed at the comedy show. Then on Saturday, since all my chores were done, I spent the majority of the day reading O magazine by the pool and learning how to trust my intuition. Followed by Sunday which included dorm room shopping with my daughter, lunch out and taking my kids and a neighbor couple out to see Cowboys and Aliens. The best part of the whole weekend is that on Monday when my friend asked, "What did you do this weekend?" I felt like none of the activities were forced. The whole weekend was fast paced but it didn't feel like I was just filling up time or trying to escape. woohoo! I think this is what life is going to start feeling like? It's kinda freaking me out. I think all this so called grief work may be paying off. Each time I recognize the changes in myself I'm shocked. I know my last several posts have all said pretty much the same thing. I'm feeling consistently better, which I am not used to feeling. The last two years have been nothing but crying and it feels so weird to not be crying all the time. Even weirder to be enjoying time out, and time alone. My daughter leaves in two weeks for college. I know we will have a great time moving her to Seattle, followed by tears and the feeling of losing another part of myself and my life. But I feel like I can handle it now. She has told me how scared she is to leave home and make new friends, start a new independent life without the comfortable security of family around her. I feel the same way, but I feel like we will both be stretching our wings in a new positive way. So once again today I am feeling pretty positive. I hope everyones week will be gentle and peaceful! Cheryl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hello123 Posted August 15, 2011 Report Share Posted August 15, 2011 Cheryl, it was so uplifting to read your post I feel so glad for you and am so happy that you are enjoying doing things! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queeniemary Posted August 16, 2011 Report Share Posted August 16, 2011 Cheryl, thanks for your great post. I am so glad that you had a good weekend. Grief is hard, but and it does get somewhat easier as time goes on. I feel the same, that every day I get a little bit better, and while I do not expect to ever "heal" completely, I am able to move on, and enjoy life. I am glad you are able to enjoy also. One of these days when I make a trip into the Phoenix airport, to travel by shuttle to Prescott to see my sister, I will call you, maybe we can share a cup of coffee at the airport? A great positive, my friend Tom's little granddaughter was born on Sunday. His first grandchild....he is already pretty much wound around her little finger. Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheryl Posted August 16, 2011 Report Share Posted August 16, 2011 That would be so much fun. Keep in touch! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queeniemary Posted August 17, 2011 Report Share Posted August 17, 2011 My positive for the day. I am working my first Wednesday at the Ozark Arts Council office, answering the phone. I have already had a great conversation with a former newspaper editor who dropped in, and we discussed "Annie", the production that ended on Sunday, and how fortunate our town is to have the Lyric Theater, which is owned by the Ozark Arts Council. I think I am going to like being downtown once a week in the office. Will get to see, and visit with people I otherwise would probably not see. Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrissie Posted August 17, 2011 Report Share Posted August 17, 2011 My positive for the day: Went to Weight Watchers and lost another 2 lbs, that makes 109 lbs gone and only 18 more until I reach my goal! Yippie!! I love coming to the site and reading all the positives, lets keep this going strong. Hugs to all. Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheryl Posted August 17, 2011 Report Share Posted August 17, 2011 Holy Moly Chrissie 109 pounds! You are obviously very motivated and strong willed. You must be very proud of yourself! I can only imagine how healthy you must now feel. Congratulations! -cheryl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrissie Posted August 17, 2011 Report Share Posted August 17, 2011 Thanks Cheryl. I really do feel soooo much better!! Our kids and grandkids had already suffered a great loss when Tim died and I knew I had to get healthy again for them. Also, Tim & I had so many plans and I'd really like to fulfill some of those for the both of us. Losing this weight has given me the confidence to do this. I even went camping with my dog, and am planning to go again on Labor Day weekend. Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queeniemary Posted August 18, 2011 Report Share Posted August 18, 2011 Chris, that is awesome, great job!! You have got to feel so great, physically, and you have every reason to be very proud of yourself!! I lost over 100 pounds about 8 years ago. Did not do it on my own, however, I had the gastric bypass. Some of it had crept back. Since Mike's death I have not had much of an appetite, and have dropped 20, putting me back at my original weight, when I first lost the 100. First time in my life I ever lost weight without trying. So proud of you! Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrissie Posted August 18, 2011 Report Share Posted August 18, 2011 Thanks Mary, Congrats on your weight loss also! It is not easy no matter how you do it. I keep telling everyone that when my day comes Tim will be at those gates saying "Let that hot Mama in" Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queeniemary Posted August 22, 2011 Report Share Posted August 22, 2011 I have a couple of positives for this week. I am into day 4 of no smoking. I had quit for years, Mike and I both had, and then after he died, I thought, well what does it matter. We did all that healthy stuff, quit smoking, lost weight, exercised, and he died anyway. I just really did not care what happened to me. Now after a year of smoking again, I have decided it is time to quit, even though I really enjoy that early morning coffee and cigarette on the back porch. Just costs too much, and I know is not good for me. Other thing is....I was in a commercial today!! My daughter works for SeaPort Airlines, out of our little airport in Harrison. They were making a SeaPort commercial, and she called me to come and be one of the passengers boarding. I called my friend from my old job, and picked her up on the way. We were both in the commercial. We actually boarded, and the plane took off and circled the airfield. Was kind of fun. When I find out if it is on utube, I will post a link. Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nats Posted August 29, 2011 Report Share Posted August 29, 2011 Hello To All, Just a few words of positive energy...had a nice weekend... spent some quality time my new best friend, I'm discovering things about myself I didn't know existed...most of all I'm starting to enjoy life again and my grief is now turning to a new love for Ruth, I've heard about this but wasn't sure what it meant but I'm starting to understand...I'm thankful for another week of living.... NATS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted August 29, 2011 Report Share Posted August 29, 2011 I'm happy for you, Nats! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted September 9, 2011 Report Share Posted September 9, 2011 The following "Shortcut" came in a newsletter I received this morning from Ashley Davis Bush, and since it seems to fit nicely in this thread, I want to share it here with all of you: Half 'n' Half To use when you find yourself seeing life as half empty After you think or make a comment that is negative, complaining, depressing or whining, follow it up with an "AND . . . my life has wonderful aspects and possibilities too." For example, "I've been forced into retirement AND I feel very fortunate to have a clear mind and a fresh new chapter of my life to look forward to" or "The kids are making such a mess AND I'm grateful for their good health." * * * When we train our minds to see the joyful aspects of life (while simultaneously acknowledging the hard stuff), we tap into a deeper feeling of inner peace and optimism that keeps us afloat in a world that can sometimes feel weighted by unwanted changes and negativity. [source: Still Waters Newsletter, September 2011, Tools and Resources for Living Deeply by Ashley Davis Bush, ashley@ashleydavisbush.com.] If interested, you can join Ashley's newsletter mailing list here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted September 9, 2011 Report Share Posted September 9, 2011 Nice suggestion, Marty. I used to tell my clients that the word "but" negates everything that preceded it in a sentence. EG It is a lovely day but it is hot. I like my neighbor but he gets on my nerves. Etc. I like the suggestion to use the word "and"...great! Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 9, 2011 Report Share Posted September 9, 2011 Thank you for the suggestion, Marty! It's a good idea... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nats Posted September 9, 2011 Report Share Posted September 9, 2011 Kayc, Thank You so much...my schedule at work has changed so I've been making some adjustments in time management, my routine and reading the posts here. Marty T, What a great link, you are so correct it fits nice here as we all sometimes fail so see what we still have left due to our grief... Today I really feel waves of tears as I watch the service for famous Tampa Bay Buc Leroy Selmon BUT one of the people stated Leroy's not gone just out of body, AND that really sunk in as our spouses are still very much alive in our minds and hearts because of all we shared and did will be forever etched in our minds AND memories never die.... NATS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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