lorikelly

Karen thanks for sharing your story. it must be beautiful where your son lives. i love his dog. i am a animal person and think that they are all wonderufl. i am glad that you got to watch the antique show. there are alot of shows i still won't watche b/c my mom loved them. its crazy how those thing bother us. some people don't undestand when i tell them that. i also hate flying. thank God my husband doesn't mind driving. we drive to florida or where ever. the only problem is that i would love to go to Hawaii and Europe. my little one asked my husband if he could drive us to Hawaii. the last time we flew it was to Calif. it was a 5 hr flight, my little one vomiting for 5 hrs staight and then had green diar. in his pants. not fun. i had my rosary beads wrapped around my hand so tight that they made a mark. hopefully i will try it again soon. Lori

i have a appt with a physic on dec 1st. she is used by the state police of nj, ny and delaware. a friend of mines mother went missing 13yr ago, the police just reopened the case and believe she was murdered. this women is helping in the case. i am excited but also nervous. she told my friend so much stuff, things that she never could of found out. i only hope i will hear from my mom. i will let you all know. lori

Teny I am always thinking about you. i know that it must of been such a hard day for you. i hope and pray that each day you will find a little peace . keep writing. lori

Thanks Maylissa for sharing, i am going to check the website out. I work for a vet so i deal with euthansia often. i do believe in my heart that is the one last wonderful thing we can do for our pets. i have done it and never regretted it. i did have my wonderful Bridget die in my arms and it is something i will never forget. i chose not to euthanize him and i reget that decision. he suffered and i watched. when it was my Spankys time i chose to euthanize him and i held him in my arms in the grass outside with the sun shinning on us. i held him as he took his last breath and i know when he looked up in to my eyes he said thank you. i think this is such a personnal decision and each one must make that for themselves. i just know as a human i would not want to suffer. thanks for listening. i hope all is well with you. lori

My mom is gone 14mos and i still can't believe i haven't seen her in that long. last night i dreamt of her and i could hear her voice, i dont want to wake up so i can hear her longer. i just try to do my best and keep going forward.some days are better then others and some really stink. the holidays coming up makes everyone feel so much worse. i wish i had the money i would take a long trip from nov -jan and be away from here. oh weil. lori

Erica I am so sorry you are feeling so awful. i know at times when we feel our worst we think God has forgotten us but please believe that He never forgets you and at the hardest time He holds you in the palm of his hand. It can be hard to have faith when something rocks us to the core, for months and months i doubted mine. i finally realized i never doubted God just myself. i can pray for you and i will . i am also here for you if you need anything. i hope that you will find some comfort today even if only for a moment. All my love and prayers. Lori

Mine is not to eventful. i am off to hockey games and soccer practices with my boys. my husband works 3-11 this weekend so i won't have him. i am working tomorrow. nothing really exciting . the weather is getting chilly here in NJ. alot of wind today. i am going to see the Bee Movie with the boys tonight. hopefully i won't fall asleep. i hurt my arm really bad last week and the pain is getting to me. i have a bad neck and i think falling just aggravated that. i don't like to take anything so i am just dealing with it. i hope all is going well for everyone and i wish for a peaceful weekend for all. lori

Christian Maybe you can look for another therapist. Derek was right check with your insurance co. I know that there are alot of good ones out there that will fit you in, you may have to call around. Let us know how it works out, my prayers are with you. lori

i had a horrible weekend, to upset to even explain. i hope everyone else is well. derek, try to rest and drink fluids as much as you can. i know that can be hard with a child and work. if i lived closer i would help both you and Carson. God Bless Lori

I just also signed up to sponsor a soldier in Iraq. i did this when 9/11 first happened, i sent a box over for a K-p unit and there handlers. i thought it would be nice to do again. i am waiting to hear back from them. this program you write or send a card everyweek and a care package every month. i feel this is the least i can do since they fight for my freedom. they have to approve you first so i will let you know. lori

Hi I am trying to continue a new tradition that i started last christmas in memory of my mom. i want to do something each yr to remenber her. Christams and the holidays were her favorite, this was a time when all of her 5 children came together. i realize now how important that was to her. Last yr i volunteered at a loceal soup kitchen. you can not believe how many people do not have enough money to just buy groceries. they were everyday people who worked, payed there bills but in the end could not afford food for the week. this shelter was open 7 days a week , 3 meals a day. it opened my eyes to alot. alot of people think it is only for the homeeless but you would be amazed. giving back really helped me alot and i know my mom would be proud. this yr i have decided to adopt a family . i don't have alot of extra money but if i can do with out to give to a family it will be worth it. my boys can help with this . i think my mom will be smiling. the holidays will be hard once again and since i don't have my siblings i think this will bring some comfort. Just thought i would share this with all. Lori

Lori How are things in Ca ? Are you safe and did you have to leave your home again? i am thinking and praying for everyone out there. please keep me posted. Lori

Wendy How about making stuff in a crock pot and they you will have a few days of dinner. i know that they make a small one that maybe good for you. i love mine and since i work evenings i put it all together and then tom and the boys have dinner. maybe even making sandwich and soup is healthy for you. i know it is hard my mom always said this after having 5 children and then none. lori

Erica I hope that the drs don't find anything serious and i also hope they can help you with the pain. i know how bad pain can be. i have a really bad neck and sometimes i feel like i can't move. this 7mo time is also very hard, those months were some of the worse for me. i did start taking a medication b/c the panic attacks were taking over me. i didn't want to but i also knew i could not live like that. i think they are what helped alot. keep us posted and my prayers are with you. lori

Maylissa Just checking in to see how you are doing? How did the day go yesterday. Did you do anything ? When it was Spankys 1yr we went out to dinner, talked about him and had a drink toasted to him. i hope today will bring a little more sunshine into your life. i am always thinking of you. Lori

Karen I know this may sound crazy but at times i actually like the rain and storms. it poured here on friday and sometimes it just brings me peace. there are other days it makes me cry. i would take rain over snow anyday. i hate the snow when you are stuck in the house. lori

Derek I hope you and Carson both had a great weekend, you deserve it. Lori

Lori Just want you to know that i have been thinking about you. i know it is so hard for us to look back and see how our moms disappeared in front of our eyes. i think about my mom and still can't believe it. the dying process is awful!! i hope that today will bring you better memories of your mom . if you can send pictures of your daughters wedding. i am praying for you. lori

Teny I am so sorry, i know that this only makes the pain of losing your yanni harder. how terrible for you son and his soon to be wife. the loss of a child is so hard. my prayers are with you. lori

Christian I am sorry that thhings are not good right now for you. please tell us what is going on and how you are feeling maybe we can help even a little bit. Please know you have alot of friends here that care. write soon. lori

Shelley that line is used alot at aa and na meetings. both my brothers are drug and alcohol social workers. it is a powerful line!!! it is also hard to follow,it is so hard when you are in control of so many things in your life but not able to control dying and grief. i hate it!!!! acceptance of anything life changing i think is always hard. lori

Derek I always try to pray before i make a decision. i have come to realixe it gives me comfort and helps me focus better. I to had been offered a position a while back and wasn't sure to take it, i didn't. then it came up again and i took it. i think the first time was wrong for me for many reasons and i realized that . i knew if i didn't take it i possibly could not be asked but i took my chances. when it came around again i was in a better place and knew in my heart it was right. How is Carson doing? Has the therapy been helping? Is school getting better? i am praying for him. Lori

Corinne I am sorry you are having such a bad night. You need to worry about yuo and the girls right now, try not to think about his family. there will come a time when you will be able to deal with it better but not right now. I also try to replace the negative thoughts with good ones. somedays that is easier then other. the holidays coming up are bring all that back. ' I have 2 boys age 9 and 12 and they are the light of my life so i understand what you say about your girls. i let my boys see me cry b/c it is ok for them to know that it is alright to cry and that times i will feel sadder then others. i thank God everyday for placing them in my lives. I hope today will bring a little more sunshine into your life. Lori

Teny I am always praying for you and everyone here. i pray for your loved ones also. i hope that God will hold you in His hand and give you comfort. You are having such a hard time and you need Him now more then ever. I know it is hard when people think you should be over it but they are not you. i try not to talk about it to people who don't understand. This is why this place is so wonderful b/c we are all here to help each other. Keeping posting and tell us anything you need to say we are all here for you. God Bless Lori

Shelley I think we all go throught these periods of feeling good and then real bad again. I know that anything little can set it off for me. Today i was listening to a song and felt horrible. i try to get myself out of it as fast as i can. sometimes it works sometimes not. i think this will be likethis for always. i don't think it will ever go away just at times a little easier. Lori