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I hope it keeps going in that direction for you to Polly we truly need some peaceful days grief can feel like it consumes your entire soul at times.

Thank you so much Mitch and George it definitely helps in knowing that we are not alone in this journey it just breaks my heart what has brought us together, I thought I was finding my way, thought I was doing ok but I don't feel that anymore, I know I have my love for Kevin and I know he still loves me but Mitch you are so right sometimes that love can bring to much pain, it hurts so much at times that there is no word to describe it, but we keep going, I just feel beyond broken lately hugs to all.

Thank you Mitch for posting it for me I am grateful

Today marks the six month mark Kevin left my world and it feels like an emotional rollercoaster this has already been a hard month harder than the last five, I dred these month marks it just reminds me of how long I have been without him and how much longer I have to go in this long, lonely journey, do the month marks ever fade, I don't get it everyday is hard, everyday is a struggle why does one day have to be so much worse, I am sorry I just want the one thing in this world back that I can't have my Kevin. I am so tired of the loneliness and emptiness. Just an extremely hard few weeks

Hello I found a song it is by Mark Schultz called a Different Kind of Christmas that exactly what this year will be first one without my forever love Kevin will see what it brings

Gwen my heart aches for you I truly wish I knew the answer to help you, to help all of us this is such a hard journey, I am one of those people who feels Kevin's love still I can close my eyes and still see and feel his love, I will never let that disappear but to be honest it doesn't always help, it doesn't take away the emptiness, the loneliness, the heartache , the longing to hear his voice other than in my head, it feels like that will never disappear either so trust me you have nothing to envy in those of us who still feel their love, we were all greatly loved, we all loved greatly, we are all fighting the daily battle of making it through another day, we can all find a way that is right for us in time even if not today hugs to you.

Thank you so much for sharing that song Steve it is perfect, I forgot about that song have heard it many times, you just added a song to my coping list thank you

Steve thank you for sharing the song I am definitely going to listen to it music is my coping skill so thank you for sharing, I know that they can not always show us signs and that they have a whole new place to explore full of beauty,love I am learning to accept his physical absence but his spiritual absence is something that I need to hold on to I need to feel he is forever walking with me until we are reunited sometimes it is the only thing that keeps me going, hopefully in time it will be easier and I will get stronger.

Obviously Kevin did not physically come back, I have been having a very hard month, very few days of any comfort, have been stuck in the darkness trying so figure out how to head to the light again, everyone knows how I believe that they walk with us and everyone knows about my butterflies but for quite awhile I have not received any signs from Kevin until tonight I got to work early and was checking my emails as I closed out of my emails Pandora popped up on its own I touched nothing it came up as "Creed Radio" the song came up One Last Breath" as you all know I love music and especially Kevin's music I listen to that song outside alot when I am thinking of him he loved Creed and that song hold meaning at first I was startled, them happy then sad and started crying, when I got home I went into the phone and clicked on the Pandora button and the Creed Station popped up again so I pressed it and it was all Kevin's songs or songs relating to my feelings when I listen to music I type it in the search bar so I guess my Kevin decided it was time for him to let me know he is still here and never truly left it is bitter sweet.

Hello Kazza57, I feel you pain and understand , I welcome you to our community though what brought you here truly makes my heart go out to you because you have lost your other half , I lost my husband Kevin of 26 years in May and it has been been a hard road. I to have family around me I have seven children and six grandbabies but it does not erase the loneliness, emptiness I feel, we are all struggling to find our way in this life none of us wanted, I feel like I am living in a nightmare that never ends, for me I try and find my comfort and strength in holding on to my Kevin's unconditionally love, I feel that they never truly leave us and true love never really died. I believe they walk with us in spirit though that does not always ease the pain, I have been having a hard month but I keep going, I keep trying to find my sense of peace though sometimes it feels so far away or impossible but I believe in our own time at our own pace we can find that peace it will just be a long hard road to get there this is an amazing community of people who truly understand and care you are not alone, just take it slowly we all are here for you. Hugs Robin

Oh Gin I know today is a hard day, Al is with you he is right by your side I truly believe this he will be seeing those amazing photos of memories wrapping his arms around you, I hope you find some comfort today, I know it is painful try and remember the good things and all the love. Hugs to you

Andrea, what an amazing dream truly beautiful I have had dreams of my Kevin but when I wake up I feel worse because he is not here and having him in my dreams but waking up without him just crushes me, I wish they brought me comfort I guess they do while I am dreaming I do believe he is with you though in spirit and in your heart, what your husband did truly radiates his love for you, they never want to make things harder on us,they were our protectors even in the end he showed his emense love for you and his children what a truly wonderful man and what a wonderful love, I am sure you all being their let him know how truly loved he was hugs

Butch am so sorry to hear of another loss it has got to be so very hard my prayers and thoughts are with Allen, Katie your entire family.

Oh Butch what we all wouldn't give for that one more moment even then we would want one more it is just so hard without them my hearts feels your pain I truly hope you are able to find some comfort hugs

Kat am so happy that you have something to make your life alittle easier for you amazing news

Mitch what you wrote is exactly how I feel you could have taken the thoughts right out of my head, the void will never be filled for me either nothing could compare to the love I had/have for Kevin, you walk around with an ache in your heart that never goes away, you wonder how do I do this or even what is the point of it all without them by our side you think why try. Nothing prepares us for this pain, and we all are left trying to find our way to reach some sort of peace and comfort though sometimes it feels like we will never find it. Tammy is most definitely proud of you, she knows all the pain and love you feel and I believe her spirit is right there with you especially on these hard days.

Thank you all so much yes it truly did hurt not to have my own father be able to have a connection with me after lossing his one wife to cancer I thought he would understand my pain, maybe he is not able to share his grief journey with me, maybe Diane was not his soulmate or his forever love like Kevin was and is mine. It should not have been a shock to me after all these years I guess I keep hoping he will realize how damaged our relationship is before it is to late, but he is who he is and I can not change that, I just have to not expect any comfort from him as much as it hurts because I am going through enough pain without my Kevin in my life I really have no energy to deal with anymore tonight did turn into a good night five out of six grandbabies are sleeping over no rest tonight but plenty of love thank you all for understanding hugs

Well yesterday was a different kind of day my dad was down from Florida and stopped by the house, me and my dad have never been close he didn't raise me my grandparents did, he was in and out of my life, had quite a few different wives until he met Diane she was a good woman she was with my father for 14 years she treated my kids like her blood grandkids she passed away from cancer, that being said my dad is remarried again. He never liked Kevin so I really didn't see him much so yesterday when he called and asked to come over I was not to sure on how it would go but I said ok. He came with his wife Tess it was the usual awkwardness he talked to my kids and tried to talk with me at one point he said ," it gets better I buried my father,mother,and brother and sister, trust me it gets better" all I could say was yeah that's what they say with a numb heart, he left he had given me money to help with some bills, so my son said something to me about how it was nice to see grandpa I replied with " yeah it would have been nice if he realated to me over Diane since I haven't lost my father,mother or siblings, my son said wow mom he tried to help and you still can't say anything nice I said you don't understand and I went outside crying. His saying it gets better was no help to me it is not getting better and it never will I am just learning to live with the pain, I needed him to connect with me and the lose of a spouse not that the other losses aren't hard but it doesn't make a connection with me, I know that even people who have suffered loss don't always know the right thing to say but it just upset me, I guess some wounds are just to deep to heal.

Polly I am sure today will be hard and I hope you are able to find some peace today this has got to be one of the hardest days for us Richard will always be in your heart, I believe he will be there with you while you take in the scenery sharing every beautiful sight with you and your daughter such an amazing picture my heart is with you on this hard day.

Frussel, I feel your pain I lost my husband of 26 years in May it is a life none of us expected or asked for yet here we are without our other half feeling lonely,empty not knowing how we are going to go on, some days the pain is just so overwhelming to be honest we will never know why it was their time to go that is one question we will never get an answer to, honestly knowing why would not ease the pain they would still be gone, you are in no way complaining when you share you thoughts, feelings or talk about your Deb, we all understand what you are feeling everyone is going through this grief journey it is very hard, you will find nothing but open arms and hearts here we all would no wish anyone to feel this pain sometimes it feels like a living nightmare but we are all trying to find our sense of comfort and peace it will be a long hard road but I feel that in the end with their love in our hearts we will find our way. Take it slow one breath at a time if need be and know you are never alone hugs.. Robin

Butch you should not feel guilty for being happy about something Mary would not want you to be sad she wants you to be happy I am sure she is smiling down at the love you have for your family we need to find our way and live again but I understand how you feel even when happy grief finds its way into your heart.

Oh Mitch I am so sorry for your hard day I understand it is beyond hard without them, I know how you feel you are happy for Katie but that love also reminds you of Tammy and brings you a sense of sadness and longing for that feeling again not that you don't still love Tammy but now our hearts are also full of deep pain and loss I understand out of my seven five have either spouses or significant others which sometimes makes me feel more empty and lonely and yet happy for them to because I know what having great love feels like and it is amazing, I don't know how we find happiness to any degree again but we need to hold on to our hope and their love, I wish I could ease your pain for I truly know how you feel I truly hope you are able to find some comfort in knowing you are not alone and in Tammy's love and memories hugs.

Butch am so truly happy you finally got to squish your Gracie

Andrea, welcome that is one word I truly feel no pleasure in saying because it means you are now going down this journey of pain that I do not wish on anyone.I lost my husband of 26 years in May I know how you feel and understand your pain this is a long hard road we are traveling down, the pain and loneliness can be so overwhelming at times and we all wish at some point to just be reunited with them we feel what is the point of going on with out them, for me I try to find my strength in my Kevin's unconditionally love for me, he would not want me there with him, I truly feel that he knows the value of life now and so do I, I know he is still here with me in spirit forever embedded in my soul true love never dies, we will be reunited one day, not that that takes the pain away I am coming out of the "fog" they say you are in early in grief and the pain has been overwhelming for the last couple days but I still keep digging down deep and finding my strength to keep going, everyone has their own path no one way is right or wrong we all all hoping to find our peace or sense of comfort in this knew life we did not ask for, I am glad that the medication helps alittle maybe you need to try a different counselor I am not on any medicine and have not sought counseling I made a choice to do it on my own not that that is the right choice for you, you have to figure out what works for you, I do know this site has been a godsend full of amazing people who truly understand your pain you will never be alone, hold onto your Bradwins love, I post poems on my Facebook that express my feelings but Kevin didn't have one, I use music as a coping skill it makes me feel closer to Kevin, again I am so sorry you have to be here but open my arms and heart up to you.

Found another song to share it is by Nickleback called Miss You please listen