AB3 Posted January 1, 2017 Report Share Posted January 1, 2017 My mom has really been pushing therapy on me lately which isn't necessarily a bad thing because of the deep depression and anxiety I find myself in. However, does therapy actually help? Will it help me deal with all this pain, confusion and disbelief? What are some of your experiences?? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mittam99 Posted January 1, 2017 Report Share Posted January 1, 2017 It's a very personal choice. I saw a grief counselor for a few months and it helped to an extent, but ultimately, I was helped more by the members at this forum. Some people have found being part of an in-person grief group helps. Anything that gives you some small relief from the unrelenting pain of grief is a good thing, no matter what form it takes. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AB3 Posted January 1, 2017 Author Report Share Posted January 1, 2017 Thank you mittam99 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brad Posted January 1, 2017 Report Share Posted January 1, 2017 AB3 - I too found myself ina deep depression following my wife's death. I sought out all of the help I could find and as a result I found comfort in all of them. A year ago I was seeing a grief counselor, a psychiatrist, a support group and this forum. I was also reading anything and everything I could find. My experience was that each resource I found provided a different perspective and different focus on helping me deal with my grief. While I still struggle at times, today I am in much better shape than a year ago. I am convinced that the combined efforts of everyone provided me with the tools I use today. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AB3 Posted January 1, 2017 Author Report Share Posted January 1, 2017 Thank you Brad 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted January 1, 2017 Report Share Posted January 1, 2017 Seeing a Specialist in Grief Counseling: Does It Matter? ♥ 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rdownes Posted January 1, 2017 Report Share Posted January 1, 2017 I have not personally chosen to seek counseling not that it wouldn't be useful I stumbled on this site at about three weeks into my grief and have learned so much, this site has taught me that I am not alone in my journey that there really are caring people who understand everything I am feeling, I am learning to have hope in all this darkness and Marty is always here with her kind heart and words of wisdom and encouragement for me right now this site is enough one day that might change only time will tell hugs 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KATPILOT Posted January 1, 2017 Report Share Posted January 1, 2017 For one Robin here we have no face to face. Here we can just read for hours and learn as we grow. Naturally it helps and is a comfortable way to go. For me it started out quite the opposite. I received grief counseling and went to a grief support group first before I found this place and I found it because it was recommended to me by my counselor. Grief support group is extremely hard for some including myself at first. You are face to face with others and it can be quite hard to allow yourself to cry in front of strangers. Here no one sees your face as you write and read and you can share or not what's happening to you but there is a love in both settings for we have a common bond. Any way we go it is a path to healing and that's the important thing. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 2, 2017 Report Share Posted January 2, 2017 For those considering whether or not to seek professional grief counseling or group support, and aren't sure if they should do one or the other, Marty posted some links that I found particularly helpful on the subject:http://www.griefhealingblog.com/2012/10/seeing-specialist-in-grief-counseling.html http://www.griefhealingblog.com/2010/04/finding-grief-support-that-is-right-for.html They are not one and the same. Many find grief counselors of help early on in their grief whereas they might want to wait a few months for the support group. Not everyone finds it a good fit for them. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted January 2, 2017 Report Share Posted January 2, 2017 i don't know if it would help,me, but I have not gone to any in person support groups because of how I react talking on the phone to either people and my counselors. Here we can do that when it feels OK and can handle it. Being in person with others (having done them when my mother died) kept me trapped in that sadness. It's a conundrum as I really need personal interaction with people that understand. Im just not sure a structured environment in this case is a good thing for me. Plus it is at night I have the most problem being alone and I can't see driving to a place to emphasize that more. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AB3 Posted January 2, 2017 Author Report Share Posted January 2, 2017 I'm very on the fence about therapy of any kind. I'm glad I found this group though because I'm able to express myself freely even though I feel crazy. There are no judgments here. As for the rest of the world it seems as though they don't get it.. but how could they unless they've experienced this type of loss. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brad Posted January 2, 2017 Report Share Posted January 2, 2017 So much with face to face support groups is dependent upon the facilitator. I attend a Hospice of the Valley support group in Gilbert, about 180 miles from my home. We are on our third facilitator since I joined in October of 2015, the group is one where you can actively participate or just sit back and listen to others. When I joined I could not speak without breaking down, it was not pretty, my voice gets all squeaky, nose snotty, so I need plenty of tissues. There is a support group about a 5 minute drive from my home but that one was not a good fit. It was very facilitator oriented where the facilitator would lecture more than listen. It also had a very strong Christian orientation where all of my pain could be assuaged by becoming a believer. That does not sit well with my Agnosticated Deist beliefs so I find the 360 mile drive well worth my time and effort to attend a support group that focuses on MY grief. I probably need to add that now I'm at a place when I will still drive the 360 miles to go to group but only if I have other reasons to be in the Valley. I no longer make the drive just for group but I did for the first nine months. AB3 - you are correct - most people really can't understand and won't until they are here. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marsha Posted January 2, 2017 Report Share Posted January 2, 2017 I did, the first 6 months, and I'm glad I did. I remember the first thing my therapist said to me was "you don't have to be a rock in this room", and that in itself was comforting, to have an objective ear. And I'm glad I went. But as others have said, this site, filled with comfort and humor and compassion, helped me so much. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KATPILOT Posted January 3, 2017 Report Share Posted January 3, 2017 I am reminded of my first time at a group meeting Brad. I too could barely get my name out before I lost it and had to pass to the next person. There is a reason for that box of Kleenex in the center of the room. By my third visit I was much better. When I watched Collateral Beauty this weekend I lost it when Will Smith went into that group meeting but could only shake his head. It brought back the memory of my own first time, (do not see that movie without Kleenex in your pocket). I remember seeing new members come in every so often and some could never talk more than I did that first day. I felt their pain for certain. I had a good facilitator, the best, and you met her Brad. Joyce was at the art auction and a dear friend of Marty's. Like everything else, there are good counselors and not so good counselors. I guess I was lucky but since I am a fatalist by religion I also believe it was meant to be. Had I not met Joyce I would not have known Marty and without them I would never have been pulled out of that pit of despair. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted January 3, 2017 Report Share Posted January 3, 2017 Oh you guys and your box of Kleenex. I take around a roll of towel paper with me. I keep one by the couch. One roll in the back seat of Ferris Yaris, and it takes up the whole seat. Maybe I'm lucky my skin is tough. I got to where I cried at the end of every Criminal Minds show. We binge watched them. Bri and I both would cry. You all know I spent 15 years in psychoanalysis, group therapy and one on one therapy. I tried different shrinks but finally wound up with a female bipolar brilliant woman who fired me one time because I would not go into the hospital. Of course, I went back, but still did not go into hospital. Billy begged me not to go. I spent one week the first time I started going and I was a mess coming off amphetamines (legal at the time, prescription), and those people wanted me to have dinner with all those crazy people. I cried until they let me have it in my room by myself. On top of everything else, they had the nerve to take my makeup away. Nope, hospital was not for me. But this woman did help me, and she also let me know I was not bipolar and my only quirk was chronic depression (after I got off the drugs), but I have been that forever anyhow. This time I searched. My doc had retired. I could not get a good feel for any of them and besides that, knew I could not take antidepressants anyhow.. This forum saved my life and now my little town (about 11,000 more people than my other town), the Baptist church is starting up a new grief group. My good friend was watching for it for me and I will soon start this. I would like to have two emotions, enthusiasm for anything and some happiness. I am sorta afraid because it is a "grief" group and I don't know if I can handle very many children grief's. This is a terrible fear of mine and my heart goes out to anyone who has lost their children and my aunt has never recovered. One woman I got to know well, her 10-year-old had passed away through a childhood playground accident. She is gone now too, and I think that would have been what she wanted. Her husband put a happy birthday in the paper for her and said he would see her soon. They were both quite old. But, being as this is hosted by a pastor, I might possibly find some of my faith and being that grief is not a mental illness, faith is something that I search for. I don't know how this will go, but Karen, Marty, all the mothers and fathers in this group, I will let you know if I can handle it. But for myself, I think I have been "shrunk" enough. I have no secrets. You all know me by my word salads. Besides, right now I think I might be too much for a real psychiatrist. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KATPILOT Posted January 3, 2017 Report Share Posted January 3, 2017 Marg I always look at a new experience with low expectations so I won't be disappointed and perhaps pleasantly surprised. In the words of Griff the Archanian "Anything's possible but where there is death there will always be death". That seamed to turn out to be true for me. Oh and Kleenex comes in a small pack that can fit into your pocket. Much easier to manipulate. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted January 3, 2017 Report Share Posted January 3, 2017 Steve, just how big are your pockets? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brad Posted January 3, 2017 Report Share Posted January 3, 2017 I am never any more than an arms reach from my tissues: kitchen table, computer desk, tv chair, coffee table, night stand, front seat of the car and my pocket packs for shopping and dr. visits. ? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted January 3, 2017 Report Share Posted January 3, 2017 Amazing how they become a vital part of the decor of our life now. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted January 3, 2017 Report Share Posted January 3, 2017 Don't know if any of you remember the crazy woman in "Twin Peaks" I think. Not sure, but she would carry a round log under each arm. That will be me going into the meeting, roll of paper under each arm. William Saroyan said about five days before he died "Everybody has to die, but I always believed an exception would be made in my case. Now what." I think I have floated through life with this idea, until 2015. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now