Charlie Posted October 20, 2006 Report Share Posted October 20, 2006 Hi everyone. Tonight I sit here alone, thinking about tomorrow morning, it will be the morning 7:45 Oct 20, 2004 that I lost the most important person in my life, my sweet Charlie passed while I stood at his bedside watching him take his last breath. He wanted so much to stay here with me so we could grow old together and we would laugh at how we would sit in our rockers and just be these 2 old people taking care of each other. Now I am here alone, thinking about all the wonderful years we did have and the 4 wonderful children who blessed our lives. I am sitting here feeling so alone and wondering how I have survived these past 2 years without him. I carry this heavy burden every day since that horrible morning and wonder if I will ever feel normal again.Thank you all for being here, when I am feeling especially low I come here and although I cry when I put down my thoughts, I know you all understand.Thinking I will not sleep much tonight, tomorrow will bring such sadness.GraceONLY YOU7/1/38 -10/20/04 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennO Posted October 20, 2006 Report Share Posted October 20, 2006 Grace,I just passed the one year mark Monday and it has been plagued with memories and sadness. I read your post and wanted to respond, although I am not sure that I have words to inspire or change the reality of our situations....I hope you choose to use tomorrow to recall great memories and good times by yourself and with your children. I think everyone is often afraid to start talking about our departed loved ones, but I encourage you to have all who knew him to tell you a great story about him. Wishing you love and a big hug tomorrow and every day.Jenn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 20, 2006 Report Share Posted October 20, 2006 Grace,I, for one, will be praying for you. I know this is hard. It never slips by unnoticed when we have these giant markers...anniversary of death, anniversary of marriage, birthdays, etc. For us they are a huge reminder of our loss and the empty gaping hole. I can't wait for the day when all we have left are good memories that bring smiles to our hearts. I hope it goes well for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bebekat Posted October 20, 2006 Report Share Posted October 20, 2006 Grace, My thoughts and prayers are with you tomorrow. I'm not quite at 18 months and I know how hard it must be for you. Light a candle, think about the good memories, and be gentle with yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ustwo Posted October 20, 2006 Report Share Posted October 20, 2006 Grace, I've tried to find words but there are none. I will be thinking about you today praying that you find comfort in sweet memories. And I hope those memories one day will bring a smile instead of tears. Charlie is loved and so are you. I wish.....Always Gene!Always! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WaltC Posted October 20, 2006 Report Share Posted October 20, 2006 I highly recommend the book Healing After Loss by Martha Hickman. Its daily readings have been a great help to me for the just over 18 months of my grieving. Just like life, some days’ messages are more meaningful to me than others, but October 17th’s was especially helpful.Martha tells us that “If we didn’t love them, we wouldn’t care so much.” She adds “…. down the road, our gratitude for the life of the person will far outstrip the terrible grief that at first seems to take up the whole landscape of our lives.” I trust that she is right and look forward to that time.I agree with her when she writes: “I am grateful, from the bottom of my heart, that I have shared the life of my loved one. And I trust that someday my happiness, as I remember our life together, will far outweigh the grief I feel now.”I feel compelled to share these thoughts with you today as you hopefully recall some pleasant memories of those wonderful years with your sweet Charlie.(((Grace))) - we understand - we have been there and share your grief today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lorikelly Posted October 20, 2006 Report Share Posted October 20, 2006 Grace I will be thinking of you today. i hope and pray that the day isn't as bad as you think it will be. don't you wish we could skip over these dates. my prayers are with you. lori Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 20, 2006 Report Share Posted October 20, 2006 Grace,I want you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers. I know we are not a substitute for Charlie, noone is, but I hope that the thought of so many people caring about you warms your heart and soul today.I wish my George could have known this site, you all would have loved him, he was the most caring person I ever met. He would have had just the right words to tell you how much you are thought of. God be close to you today and every day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missingcharlie Posted October 20, 2006 Report Share Posted October 20, 2006 My friend, Grace. I hope you will be at our lunch tomorrow so that I can give you a BIG hug. Our Charlie's were so deeply loved and now so deeply missed. I, too, am coming up on my 2 years and I also don't know how I have made it this far without the man I loved more than anything. As WaltC said, if we hadn't loved them so much, we wouldn't miss them so much.My heart is with you today. All we can do is remember the best times of our lives - the wonderful memories we had with them. I know it doesn't make it any easier, but that's how we'll all get through this.<<<<HUGS>>>> to you! Hopefully we will see you at Applebee's tomorrow!!!!Patti Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrissy777 Posted October 20, 2006 Report Share Posted October 20, 2006 Grace,My thoughts and prayers are with you during this hard time. It helps me to keep my mind focused on something else sometimes. (easier said than done) Take care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarrysGirl Posted October 20, 2006 Report Share Posted October 20, 2006 Grace, I don't know what two years will feel like but if its anything like what we all are experiencing I know it must be hard. I know you still miss him and love him and he loves you, that will not change. My thoughts are with you on this special day. Deborah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STOO Posted October 20, 2006 Report Share Posted October 20, 2006 Anniversaries are so difficult... I am thinking of you and praying that today will bring you at least a few happy memories of your sweet husband. ~Stoo~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Posted October 21, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 21, 2006 Thank you all so much for your kind words. Everyone on this site is so caring and comforting. Most people don't know this pain unless they have experienced it themselves so putting my feelings into words and putting them here for people who know gives me peace.Thank you all, I have found friends in this life experience that I would have never known.God bless you allGrace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roswell Posted October 23, 2006 Report Share Posted October 23, 2006 I missed this post, or I would've replied sooner. We share the pain...otherwise we wouldn't be here.Cry...can't think of a better place! At times, I'm more comfortable here than I am at church. Charlie..from the bottom of my heart, sorry for your loss! With good intentions and great adoration.Sincerest, William Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SEshbaugh Posted October 26, 2006 Report Share Posted October 26, 2006 It will be 1 year tomorrow since I lost the love of my life. This year seems so long and then again its hard to believe that its been that long. I sit here wondering where do I go from here, we met almost 30 years ago but didnt marry until 11 years ago. It took that long to realize we should have been together from the start. I thank God that at least we had that much time together but this was so unexpected. It was only 3 months from diagnosis until he was gone, there were so many things I wanted to say but didn't get the chance to. I light a candle for him every night next to his picture and pray he is watching out for me. I have gone to work which seems to fill up time but its still coming home to an empty home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 26, 2006 Report Share Posted October 26, 2006 (edited) SEshbaugh,My thoughts and prayers are with you this momental day...try to focus on the good things you shared, how much you appreciated him and how glad you are that he was in your life...rather than the loss you feel. I pray you make it through this day with a smile in some part of the day. You have made it through a year of hurdles. Edited October 26, 2006 by kayc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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