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Should We Pray For Others To Be Healed?


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I just wanted to pose a philosophical question for anyone to answer whatever you believe. Since I prayed for three years that my husband be healed and he was not, was my time wasted in praying this, and more importantly why should I or anyone pray for a healing since God has His own reasons why certain people are healed or not healed according to His will? Just to let you know, I am a Christian believer, I am just a very sad Christian believer right now.

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Not long ago I was talking to my daughter. I told her I had a weird feeling, my sister-in-law found out in Nov. that she had cancer, my husband found out in June. After she found out he had cancer she never called, she lives out of state, even after she found out she had cancer she never called. One of my husbands other sisters always has to tell me how the other one is doing. It might be wrong but I don't care, why should she get picked to get better and he wasn't. I just can't make myself care. She is the one that did drugs, even smoked the funny cigarettes well into her fifties, she might still be doing it. She gave up the legal kind, but would not give up the funny kind. Where as my husband never took drugs, didn't smoke, or drink, he got bile duct cancer, very rare 2 cases out of 100,000, where's the justice. I'm like you why them and not our husbands.

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Dear Suzanne,

I have had a tough time with this question as well. I prayed very hard for my father to be healed, and he was not. In turn I have had my grandmother pass away from illness, and also my stepfather's sister has cancer, and so many others. But back to your question - should we pray to God, or just "leave it up to God" and not pray, since it is all in His hands anyway?

I guess it really comes down to, why do we pray. Do we pray because we want control - something that, I think, is always really in God's hands - or do we pray out of love for God and trying to realize that, at this point, only He and His power can help us? I really think it comes down to that question, of why we pray, and that praying with the right frame of mind is to pray because we know that in this dire situation, only God can help us; not, instead, that God is like our dog and we drag him on a leash when we want him to go here or there, do this or that.

At the same time though, I think, whether we pray to God with that mood or not, whatever is meant to be, will be. But praying, I believe, gives us more of a chance that God will fulfill our prayers and that we are praying for, will happen. So I'd say go for it. Can't do any harm praying, right?

This is simply my take on it, my philosophy. No one is required to agree, and I'm not sure I even made a lot of sense...

take care,

Chai

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Suzanne,

I don't believe that Prayer's are ever wasted, they have an uplifting influence on the Human Race... as long as they are for good, & not evil...it works both ways. I know Prayer's are not always answered as well. Sometimes God refuses our requests,& we are knocked out, God WHHY!!!

Suzanne, this is an age old philosphical question, As for me, I shall continue to pray. On the other hand those that say its in God's hands only...what is Praying?

An uplifting of the Human Race through Spirit!

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hi all,

Just wanted to share my thoughts on this. I was raised Catholic and I've always believed in something and just had faith and I used to pray and I used to try my best to hand problems etc over to God.

However since I lost my Daddy, it's a whole other story. I definitely can't pray, can't ask for help because when I can actually acknowledge God I get beyond angry with him. Part of me feels well I'm so knee deep in it now that I shouldn't have to ask for help, he should just know and he should help......OMG even other stupid things that are also going wrong for me ....I just think wow, can't you give me a break,give Mom a break.... let something go right here for me, I have enough stress with grief and loss of Daddy, I don't need the worry of other stupid crap now.

Sometimes I get so mad with him (God) I just want to have it out with him right there and then. I want his reason, explanation, justification for taking the best thing from our lives...why why why .....I want the answer to the question of life now....I have a right to it now and I have a right to know where my Daddy really is, I feel God stole him from us. So many questions and they just continue to pile up but no answers, I know I'll never get them here on this earth.

So for now I "rely" on others prayers, in fact I kinda even find it hard to ask someone to say a prayer for me. Yet I constantly wear a cross my Daddy got for me in St.Peters Cathedral in the Vatican,Rome last summer, which was also blessed by the Pope so I guess deep down my faith is still there but for now I cannot ask for the help from him coz Im just too mad.

my 2 cents of ramblings ;)

niamh,xo

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I had a colleague who used to say her brothers made it back from the war in southeast Asia because her mother prayed for them. This actually made no sense to me as I figured that probably all the soldiers there had someone praying for them, and didn't make it back anyway.

Way way back in my life I remember someone saying the four most difficult words in the Lord's Prayer were, "Thy will be done." I suspect that's true.

Back further than that, in Sunday School, (I honestly don't remember why this has stuck with me for 40 + years) I recall the teacher telling us that God answers all prayers. The prayer isn't always answered with a yes, though. Sometimes the answer is no, and sometimes the answer is "wait." She was clear that God never says "maybe."

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I still can't pray since Larry's death. My father was a Methodist minister, I was raised in the church. Larry dying shook my faith and it has not recovered. When I have problems now (who doesn't) I ask Larry to watch over me. I know that probably isn't the way "God" would have it, but for now, until my heart understands why, it is that way it is. Deborah

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There was an instance in the old testament where Moses' prayers caused God to change his mind, so I wouldn't say prayers are a waste of time.

http://www.mtauburnumc.org/sermons/sermon_text/Does%20Prayer%20Change%20God.pdf

I think God hears us and responds according to his will, but therein is the problem for us, we have a hard time understanding how something that seems so devastating could possibly be his will and reconcile that with a God we consider caring! I think there are some things we can't see or understand and that's why we do not agree with him. Far as I can see, what can prayer hurt, and it just might help. One of the things I have noticed about prayer is often it changes ME and my attitudes and will and brings it more in line with God's.

I also was praying for George when he died. Could I deduct that God did not answer my prayer? No...but he did not answer the way I wanted. It took me some time to accept that and I too had an issue with God about that...but He is a big God with broad shoulders and He can take it, he understands our feelings and what we go through, and cares...it's just that He differs in His agenda than with ours. What about all of the unforeseen things that we are not even aware of?

The idea that God is in charge of this world is pretty much a misnomer too...we have to understand theology to realize that God created this world, it became fallen due to sin, that threw everything off, and He left Satan free reign with some limitations...but He will reclaim it and redeem it once again...we are now awaiting that time. Does that make sense? In other words, there are a lot of bad things that happen in this world that God does not like or desire. Could he alter them? Yes, if we believe He is all powerful, He could. He chooses not to...why??? That is the age-old question. Job had a lot of questions and if we read where God answers him, it gives us a little different perspective. (Job 38-39 and beyond)

I have studied and taught classes on prayer, and there is a lot to know and learn about it, so I realize this is a simple and understated answer but to fully get into it would require a whole new forum.

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For all of these reasons listed above is why I have never been a believer. When I was a child I believed, but only because I never wanted to "go to Hell". I have tried and tried to get some sort of faith through different types of religions but I get the same result each time.I assume that if I am wrong and there is indeed a God out there that he/she would be more upset if I pretended to believe out of fear rather than actual faith.

Maybe I will find something some day, but with what is happening with my father right now I just don't think there will ever be a chance I will find faith.

-Sharla

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Sharla,

In reading my response, I'm not sure what you're reading that you cite as reasons for not having faith...I myself have tremendous faith. I'm not here to convince you of anything, I'm just wondering. I know God not just as an abstract theology or concept, but as a remarkable being with a tremendous heart and wisdom. I usually find if there is a discrepancy, it is in me...not Him. But then, I've known Him for years. (BTW, I was not raised in a Christian home or other religion).

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Hi Kayc!

I suppose they were not listed exactly as much as peoples opinions. Just taking loved ones away would be one thing for me. I just can't imagine a being who would hurt people like this. I am not trying to offend anyone here with religion as it is a touchy subject. I was raised to believe in God. But during my childhood (my mom was 19 when she had me with my biological father who beat her) I would pray to God asking if he would just stop the hurt he was causing my mom. My mom finally did leave my biological father who in return decided that he did not want his kids. My mom then met my wonderful step father who is the one slowly dying from lung cancer. Explain the logic here? Why him and not my biological father who was a womanizing wife beater? Why did he choose the dad who loves and takes care of his family or the dad who chose to be a dad to 2 kids that were not his? Reasons like this is why.

I really hope that I am not offending anyone, as that is not my intention. I am just having one of those horrible days dealing with my dad.

-Shar

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Hi Sharla ! This is a very interesting subject!, Like I have told you before , I feel exactly like you do ! It's really hard because this path we walk right now is painful enough, and it makes it even harder when there aren't many who think like we do ! Oh well, I'm not going to worry to much about it ! I'm glad there are a couple people here that share our non-beliefs ! Even though I don't believe in God, I do believe that the spirit lives on. I've had some experiences after loved ones have died that may be proof of that ! Also I watch shows like Ghost Hunters, they really make you think! I'm going to make a post about my experiences, I'd like to know if anyone else has had similar ones ! I believe my Dad is my "guardian angel" , I now ask him to watch over me and guide me! I do want to say that- I used to believe in God (most of my life) and was afraid to question anything, but that all changed, and I'm still here !! ! I believe the only important thing in life is to be the best person you can be (kind, honest,loving) and that's all we can do ! I know this site is not here to discuss religion, but it does play a part in different ways in everybody's grief. Like I've said before- If peoples faith get's them through this horrible pain then I am happy for them. But as far as I can tell- both the believers and non believers are all in this same lonely boat! I do Love everybody, and wish you all well! Peace and Hugs !xoxo :)

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To answer Suzanne's question, I would say yes we should pray for others to be healed. I can understand what you went through when you prayed and prayed for your husband to be healthy and sickness-free only to see him pass away. However as kayc said, and I share her view...prayer has many purposes and not just to ask God about something...like she said prayer can change US even without knowing.

I remember the afternoon I got the news about my dad's cancer, I came home and just cried and cried and cried to God. I could not possibly understand why my daddy,someone who cared so much about others and was an example of love and compassion was being stricken with this sickness. I felt soo alone...but I never was.

Daddy and the whole family prayed to the Lord for his healing, and well, even towards the end daddy would say...well I don't know about my sickness, I have prayed to God to heal me but if He doesn't want or it is not His will..well....

I dont think that God does not answer prayer, but rather He may not answer it in the way we expect it, and that is ok. It is hard to accept at times, but my thoughts are not God's thoughts. I remember days after my dad passed my brother said, well God did not heal daddy but I remember he answered my prayer about letting daddy get well so he could be able to ride his bike again so they both could go for a ride ( they both practice/d cycling), they were able to do that and it was sooo good, I remember that moment vividly and thinking of it brings me joy and tears at the same time.

I was raised Catholic, and one day I just told God I wanted to know him more, the way I know my friends, my family.etc, and that I wanted to know about His love, His mercy, His forgiveness. I didn't want to believe out of fear, but rather out of love. He has done just that, for which I am eternally grateful. The night my dad passed, we ( my family) thanked God for allowing us to have someone like daddy in the family. It was God's gift to us. Do I ask Him why daddy? Of course, I am grieving and have those moments, but I also know He answers all of our prayers, and that there is a purpose for everything.

So it is ok to question things, just know that sometimes the answer to prayer may not be what we want or may just not come right away.

That's just my view on it. ;)

-L

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Its also important to remember, for those of us who believe in Jesus (i hate the word Christianity), that when people came to Him for healing and were healed, He would tell them, "Your faith made you well". Now my prayers have changed lots. I normally ask for something once and after that i daily keep thanking God that its done and instead of begging, i claim His promises. Jesus said that The Father would give me whatever i asked for in His Name. John 15:16. why not? He won the victory. He never sinned even once while in His human body.

One promise that i stood by and got healed just from thanking God that it was done is Isaiah 53:5. Yes nothing happened for a long time; for almost 3 months i stood by that promise and finally the pain left my body because i refused to be moved by what i could see or feel.

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Discussion and debate about religion can become very sensitive and if not carefull become personal so I ask you all to be carefull.I was once a member of an "discussion" forum based in the U.K. and religious debate would soon get out of control.I don't think that will happen on this forum because we are all to busy working through our grief to attack anyone personally.I describe myself as a 'Christian-Agnostic' which means I believe in following Jesus' example on how to live your life but I don't believe in God.

You can put this link into perspective in one sentence.If God does exist he has a warped sense of humour.

You all look after yourselves.

Frank G...

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I agree with Jodo,well said Frank,it is very sensitive matter.I was raised to be religious,but those beliefs have been shaken,and I'm in a confused tail-spin when it comes to religion.I have been looking into the agnostic-christianity,It seems it's the most honest and logical.Because after all how do we know?It's all about faith,and it is hard to have faith when your devastated with no one to blame but...god.(?)

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Shar, no offense taken at all! I understand your feelings completely. One of the things I love about this site is the amazing full-of-grace people that are members here, they are not thin-skinned, they are tolerant, loving, caring people. It's so important for us to be able to express ourselves and be heard and respected...one of the things that death robs us of is our power to have a say in our lives...thus it's all the more important to recapture that as we are able to. I think as long as no one is pushy with their views and respects other's opinions, all is well. :closedeyes:

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Frank - I completely agree and thank you! Religion is a sensitive subject and I try my hardest not to offend.

Jodo - Hi! How have you been? Long time no talk! I hope all is well with you.

LouLou - Hi! We seem to have the same beliefs when it comes to religion, I am just glad I am not crazy or alone in my thoughts about it. It has been a struggle for me to find religion because for me, right now would be the best time to start praying. I feel horrible that I have not "turned to God" to help my dad as I should be doing anything to do so, but I just feel that I should not pretend that I believe just to "save my dad" from his cancer. It is wrong for me to do that. I may not believe but I will NOT make a mockery of religion and that is exactly what I would be doing if I prayed now. Since my dad has been sick and told that he is going to die sooner than we want, I have struggled with if I should try to pray to something I do not believe is there out of my own selfishness. Anyway, hope all is well hon.

Kayc - I appreciate all of your posts and/or thoughts. I like to hear what other people think and or believe in. I wish that I thought the way you thought and had your beliefs in God. It would make my pain a lot easier to deal with I think. I am not atheist as I just don't know if there is or not I just lean more toward no for some reason. I do hope that one day I am able to find faith somewhere. I hope that there is a God out there that allows people to see their loved ones after death. I really would love for that to be true!

Have a great weekend all! You are all in my thoughts!

-Shar

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I have no theology to back this up, but this is my take on things since Bob was called "home." We are here to love as Jesus loved us. Perfect love, nothing more. I often felt that through his illness, my husband achieved that very thing. His endurance, his unselfish devotion to his kids and I, his willingness to do whatever was asked of him. Maybe, when we reach that point, we have "earned" our reward. That reward is in heaven. I am far from that point. I still have lots to learn. I hope someday I can be the hero I saw in my husband. Maybe I never will. But I do believe in a gentle, kind, forgiving God that will at least let me spend my eternity with the love of my life. Until then, I will pray fervently, for the sad, the lonely, the aching, the undeserving, the poor, and the unbelieving. And "yes" I do believe those prayers are answered. My husband is at peace, without meds, without pain, without fear. It sucks to be the one left behind, but there is still so much I need to do.

I told my kids shortly after Bob's death that if I could get to heaven, I'd give Bob a good kick in the shins for leaving us like he did. My son calmly responded, "Mom, do you think God is going to let a violent lady into heaven?" He was at the wise old age of 9 then. Today he turned 12 and I wish his dad were here to tell him himself how much he loves him. Until he can, I'll keep praying and saying it for him.

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It's not that I don't believe in god or a higher power,I just don't believe what I was taught.My dad was not a religious man,but he was a good man.He had a huge heart and was kind and good to those around him.He was affectionate and loyal.If what I was brought up to believe is true,then just cause he didn't attend church,and read the bible,he would stay "sleeping in his grave(he was cremated)",until the second coming of christ,and then he would be sent to hell.My mom even assured me that is what she believes has happened to him.To anyone who tells me that is what I should believe,I tell them,I will believe what feels right to me.And that certainly is not it.I love god,I believe in some sense.My god would not be so harsh to good people,or innocent children,and so forth.I respect that EVERYONE has a right to their beliefs,and I do not judge.

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I have to say part of me agrees with everything people have written here as contradictory as that sounds !!

Sometimes I think all the questioning isn't even necessarily about religion just life in general, our vey existence here, the question of is there really something/someone else out there, what are we all here for really and truly. The list goes on really and I don't think there is anything wrong with believing, not believing, searching and so on, we are human and we question things and I find grief has kicked that into complete overdrive.

All I hope and want is that someday I will see my Daddy again, I will be with him again and other loved ones that I've lost and that we will all be eternally happy and never ever have to let go again. And that we will finally get the answer to the very meaning of life. And obviously hope the same for each of you and you're loved ones ....and that we'll all meet up together :)

So whether it's God,Budha, the alien guys Tom Cruise & Co believe are the "ones" *LOL* here's hoping its just something bigger and better than all of us that will give us eternal pain free, grief free happiness.

hugs and love to all of you in grief

niamh

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I agree also with everything shared and you are all a great bunch of people. I come from a long line of free thinkers, having descended from Benjamin Franklin's brother James. :)

There is nothing wrong with questioning, how else would we find answers?! Questions ARE the maps to answers!

I want to add, the first year or so after George died, even with me having great faith and being a prayer warrior, I found it very difficult to pray and it seemed as if God were a million miles away. It's not that He left so much as I didn't know how to reach Him. My faith was shaken to the core. I was, after all, praying when George died. And I was angry at God for taking him. But then at times I was angry at George for leaving! One thing I have learned is that it is okay to feel angry, or whatever we feel...they are all valid emotions. It helps to understand what emotions are for...and what they are NOT for! Emotions are just to contend with, sometimes they help, sometimes they hurt. They were never meant to be a barometer of anything. So as long as we don't pay more heed to them than they should have, we are okay.

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I have to admit I am still at a place where I find it difficult to reconcile woth the survival of others, while my Scott was taken away. And I am somewhat ashamed to admit that I do have an apathetic, sometimes jealous reaction to the good fortune of others. I hope these feelings will subside with time.

I have not really been a person who prayed (sincerely) that much in the past, though I do believe in God or a higher power, Christian or otherwise. As far as my praying goes, it is mostly to Scott (hope that isn't sacreligious to anyone), as he is just so familiar, and it comforts me to think of him keeping an eye on us. I occasionally pray to God, but perhaps without the sincerity to make it a true prayer. But I do think that praying, however you do it, can be positive, not just for the obvious reasons, but because it gives us a chance to explore our feelings, and perhaps is a place where we can be completely honest.

Korina

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