Queeniemary Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 This is a positive...my sweet sister Lois is no longer trapped in her non functioning body. For the last 10 months since a brain aneurysm last July, she has been unable to do even the basic things for herself, including eating. Her kidneys started shutting down on Thursday, and yesterday afternoon, she passed away. My brother and I spent Sunday afternoon, evening, and until noon on Monday with her and the family. We were able to tell her goodbye. I am sad, but also very relieved she is no longer trapped in that broken body. I have a new angel. Appreciate prayers for our family. QMary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shalady Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 Mary, I am so very sorry for your loss of Lois. How comforted and loved she must have felt having her loved ones with her. I am praying for you and your family. Peace and comfort to all of you. Shalady Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 Angels are all around us dear QMary. Keeping your sweet Lois and all your family in my prayers. Anne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 Mary you are in my heart, you and your family, and you certainly have my prayers. I am glad she is out of her suffering but I am so sorry for you and your family's loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annew Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 Mary, lots of love for you and your family in all this change and glad you have the blessing of a new angel. As time goes by my angel shows himself to me more and more and helps me heal the loss and the past. Many blessings to you and yours now and always. AnneW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 QMary, we ache for you and your family, and send you our deepest compassion and prayers to soothe, mend and heal your broken hearts. ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 Mary I am so sorry but I know what you mean about a positive. My beloved Pete after the stroke would not have wanted to live a long time in such a diminished form though I'd have kept home somehow in whatever state. But I am so sorry. Jan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 Mary, I'm so very sorry for the loss of your precious sister. I will light a candle. And say a prayer. My prayers and heart go out to your family and you. Hugs. Butch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 I already shared this with Anne and Kay in email (they both emailed me within a half hour of each other). I think they were double teaming checking up on me! Yesterday I was going through papers and things in one of Mary's drawers and in it were old cards, letters, photos she held most dear to her. Also in it was a tiny box buried underneath everything else. It was labeled "to all of my men". My heart sunk. It took me a minute to touch it even. I just stood staring blankly. I slowly picked it up and went and sat and just held it. Took me a while to open it. And in that time, the last day with her, the last hours, the last minutes before her last heartbeat raced through my mind like a movie. I opened the little box. There were four envelopes, reading... "To my love" "To my boy" and the other two "To my oldest little" and "To my youngest little" (Noah and Caleb). I called Allen in and showed him this. He said he was not at all shocked. I gave him his and the boys' envelopes. He left so I could read mine. It took me a long while to read it. It took a lot of tears. It broke my heart yet my heart was unequivocally amazed by my wife's words and love. Last night, we read together the boys letters. Her words as their Grammy were so eloquent and they loved their letters. They both said they wanted to share them at school on "share day". So they will with myself and Allen there. Friday which ironically is one day shy of four months since Mary passed. Also yesterday Allen and Katie revealed to the boys and I that they are expecting another child. She is due Dec 31st. The boys are excited. When asked if they want a brother or sister they both screamed "sister". That would melt my heart. I mean a new grand baby would melt this Grampy's heart but secretly a granddaughter would melt it in a different way. Maybe because Mary and I lost our twin girls. A girl added to this family would be pure joy. My heart is saddened that Mary isn't here to witness another grandchild. It's been a big day with the letters of love I came across that were strategically placed by my amazing princess for myself and her boys. She knew her time was limited. When and how she wrote these... I don't have a clue. I wish I knew. But they were placed in HER drawer of HER treasured things. And another grand baby coming. ❤️ Bitter sweetness all around... Butch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 My dear Butch, What a treasure Mary left for you. I am sure there were many tears shed as you read through it. And going with the children to school when they read theirs at Share Day is such a sensitive gesture. You are blessed with a wonderful family and I celebrate the arrival of what we hope will be a baby girl but in any case a much welcomed grandchild. I hope you in my heart, Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 Precious, Butch. Just so very precious. Thank you for sharing this sweet story with all of us. You have warmed our hearts. ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted May 9, 2015 Report Share Posted May 9, 2015 The kids had their first ultrasound. There are two heartbeats. Twins run in all of our families. Secretly, I'm wishing for girls. But however it turns out, I just want two more grand babies healthy. I went yesterday to the boys classes for share day. Two separate times. So was able to be at both. They were so proud to speak about their amazing Grammy. It touched my heart more than words. However both kids cried when it came to saying how much they miss their Grammy Mary. When they got upset, my son got up to go up and help them, but as their Grampy I stood up and told Allen it's okay, I got this. I helped them share the wonderful letters that were left to them. And shared some happy memories. They laughed again. Their classmates and friends were so supportive of them. While it broke my heart utterly, I stood up for them and more importantly with them, because I know that their Grammy was there too. So they had a hard time. Their teachers both offered for us to take them home early but they both insisted on staying in class. Grief hits us all. Even them, though they are so resilient. It surprised me that they got upset, as for the last four months (tonight) they have been so strong. This Grampy is one proud Grampy. And this father is one proud dad... I saw how hard it was for Allen to see his boys get so upset. I love all my boys... For myself and for my Mary. I don't want tonight to be four months. It seems like a lifetime. It seems like yesterday. It seems so surreal still. Twins... The boys asked "how". Haha... I left that explanation to my son. Going to my grandsons baseball games today. A positive. Though I wish so much my sweetheart were here. I am trying my best to keep promises I made to her. I mean I could stay in all day secluded remembering our last moments four months ago. Believe me, it's tempting and so hard. But I have to live for her for our family. I'm trying... Butch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted May 9, 2015 Report Share Posted May 9, 2015 Dear Butch, what a touching story and how right you were to jump in when their tears began. Personally I think it took a great deal of strength for them to allow themselves to cry in front of everyone. Tears are a sign of strength and love. I am so glad they also chose to stay at school, another show of strength. What a wonderful family....and twins on the way. Mary is with you all. Peace ,mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted May 9, 2015 Report Share Posted May 9, 2015 Yes! What a wonderful family indeed! And you are its amazing patriarch, dear Butch. Be proud. Be very proud. ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted May 26, 2015 Author Report Share Posted May 26, 2015 Dear friends, We had a good--if long overdue--Walking with Jane board meeting yesterday. We generally meet in January, but between my ongoing oral surgeries and the snow--not to mention a dozen different scheduling conflicts--this was the earliest we could get everyone together. I chose people for the board not only because they were our good friends but because I knew I could trust them to be honest about their thoughts and concerns. We spent a lot of time yesterday talking about where we need to go and what we need to do next. It's time to focus entirely on our primary missions: educating people about NET cancer and funding research. That may mean upsetting a few people in the larger cancer community whose focus is elsewhere, but it can't be helped if we are going to be effective in what we are trying to do. I have a plate filled with new assignments coming out of that meeting. Some of those things are pretty straight-forward and easy. Some are pretty complicated and time consuming. But, taken together, they are the next steps in carrying out this mission to kill NET cancer. Peace, Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted May 26, 2015 Report Share Posted May 26, 2015 Harry, you will continue on as before. I so believe that education is the key. If we educate the funds for research will take place. Social media is so effective these days. Thank you for all you do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted May 29, 2015 Report Share Posted May 29, 2015 Harry, It's so important to choose the right people for the boards and having people you can trust. I'm glad you have people you can count on. There are always people who get upset, I guess dealing with them is part of it, but we can't let that sway us from our main goals. Good luck with your endeavors, it's definitely a worthy cause and I, for one, appreciate all you are doing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queeniemary Posted June 9, 2015 Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 Just wanted to check in, I know I have been MIA for many weeks. So very busy right now. Opening night for the play I am directing is Saturday, and the playwrights will be here. A reception before the play, then a cast party after the play. I am so excited to meet these playwrights, this will be the 8th of their plays that I have directed. Jones Hope Wooten writes some of the best southern comedy that I have ever read. Directing the play this time has been harder on me than usual, still feeling somewhat numb over the loss of my sister Lois. I am just taking things day by day, and writing myself lots of notes, so that I don't forget to do anything! Immediately after the play is over, we leave June 22 for a 2 week + trip to California, etc. My friend Tommy and I are going to take the train trip to the Grand Canyon. My brother and his wife have done it before, so they are doing something else that day. Going to see several national parks on the trip, and probably eat way too much food. Looking forward to just relaxing as much as possible. We are picking up our remaining sister Betty in Prescott, AZ, and she is coming back for a visit for a few weeks. Don't post much right now, but I do read some.Will be back in action in a month or so.QMary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 9, 2015 Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 QMary, I hope you can check in now and then, we miss you here, but it sounds like you are keeping a "nice busy" and that is good. Sometimes I envy you your theatre but then I'd probably be worn out and tired if I had to follow a day in your shoes! LOL I do hope you have a great time on your trip. I know whatever fun you're having is tempered with the loss of Lois, I'm so sorry. I know there's naught to do but a day at a time, you already know the journey, doesn't make it any easier though, does it. Thinking of you and love you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted June 9, 2015 Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 Safe travels, dear QMary ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annew Posted June 9, 2015 Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 So good to hear of the happier times in all this change, thank you, QMary.....many blessings in your travels, I think wonderful things are going to happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted June 16, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 16, 2015 Dear friends, June is turning into an insanely busy month. We had a successful craft fair June 7, have scheduled a miniature golf tournament for late August, continued with a range of garden projects, and are preparing for Relay for Life in less than two weeks. July, I am teaching fundamentals of journalism five mornings a week in Boston, which will be a vacation of sorts because it will take me out of full time cancer fighting mode for about six weeks. Then, things get intense until the end of November, when i'll try to take an extended break through the holidays. I saw Jane's dad this weekend. He looks very good. He is alert and interested in the world again. He's even reading the newspaper and talking about politics. They are doing a stool transplant next week to address his c-diff. The hope is he will finally be able to go home by mid-July. Like, QMary, I thought I should check in so people know I haven't simply vanished. Peace, Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted June 16, 2015 Report Share Posted June 16, 2015 ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 16, 2015 Report Share Posted June 16, 2015 Harry, I'm glad Jane's dad is doing better, that's great to hear! And one less thing for you to worry about right now. Thanks for checking in with us! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted June 21, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 21, 2015 Dear friends, I got a call this morning from the woman who owns the miniature golf course we have scheduled our tournament at. She's decided to donate whatever money they get from people who don't want to play in the tournament but still want to use the course that night to our Jimmy Fund walk effort. This may work yet. Kay, he didn't look very good when i visited tonight. The procedure for the stool transplant is Tuesday. I am keeping my fingers crossed. If it fails to change things, I suspect he will stop dialysis. He's had enough. Peace, Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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