mfh Posted July 11, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 11, 2013 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted July 11, 2013 Report Share Posted July 11, 2013 I came across this today and I just wanted to share it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 11, 2013 Report Share Posted July 11, 2013 I swear I need some "like" buttons here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted July 11, 2013 Report Share Posted July 11, 2013 Mary, the graphic on grief is so totally accurate, Well, as accurate as emotional chaos can be depicted, anyway. Oh, Anne, that is so lovely, thank you... I have saved it to share with others. Welcome back Marty. We behaved ourselves, more or less, while you were gone. fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted July 11, 2013 Report Share Posted July 11, 2013 Thank you, Fae ~ and yes, I am quite aware of what you've been going through these last few days with some of your (dare I say) family members ~ um ~ I mean, ruffians. It is gratifying to know that you are quite capable of dealing with them, but I'm so sorry that you have to do so. Clearly none of this ugly stuff is in your nature, nor should it have any place in your life. Stay strong, and know that you are always, always safe here with us . . . ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted July 12, 2013 Report Share Posted July 12, 2013 Our memories will keep our love alive. Transcending Loss: Understanding the lifelong impact of grief Your memories are like a bright light within your grief. Although the memories may also feel painful -- as they highlight the loss -- just imagine if you had no memories. Imagine if you had never known them or couldn't remember knowing them. Hold your memories in your heart, cherish them, for they are evidence of a great love and life that intersected with your own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted July 12, 2013 Report Share Posted July 12, 2013 That is lovely Anne, and what I needed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 13, 2013 Report Share Posted July 13, 2013 Beautiful, Anne! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 13, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 13, 2013 I do like that author. I saw this on FB today and almost moved it here and so glad you did. It is a great quote...and so important. Thank you...and I love the cardinal....one of my favorite birds...mate for life. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 13, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 13, 2013 I do like this quote...it is a good goal. I am not there yet but I believe this. I found this on Facebook from a page I like: Your Inner Pilot Light Do you wonder what it would feel like to be healed, my love? Let me tell you, because as the part of you who is always whole, healed, and perfect at every moment, I’m on it. When you’re healed, you wake up every morning and feel free. Free of the grip of fear. Free of caring what everybody else thinks. Free of feeling like you have anything to prove. Free of worrying that you’re not enough. Free of self-beatings. Free of muddy confusion. Free to be unapologetically YOU. Free. You feel very alive, which doesn’t mean you don’t cry or feel sadness. When you’re healed, you may cry more than ever, actually. But those feelings come, flood you, and release, rather than getting stuck. You know you’re NOT alone. When you’re healed, you feel deeply connected- to me and my glorious spark, that is. You know that everything is happening in perfect harmony with a greater plan. So you feel free of anxiety, because you know you are held and safe and the world is conspiring to help you walk your path with ease. It’s that simple. Do you want to feel healed? Tap in, love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted July 13, 2013 Report Share Posted July 13, 2013 This is beautiful, Mary, and very moving. Thank you . . . ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 13, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 13, 2013 You are welcome, Marty. I actually thought of your Grief Healing site when I was reading it. I see healing from grief as unique in the world of healing but certainly sharing common elements. I think of the scars left and how tough they are and how sensitive they are. I cut the tip of my finger off once and the doctors in ER were able to reattach it. That finger is the most sensitive of all my ten and yet the skin is tougher. The same is true of the ankle I broke playing racquetball. It is more sensitive and I assume stronger than the other. So it goes with healing. We become stronger and highly sensitive...at least I have become both...sometimes the sensitivity (and I have always been sensitive to what others might call a fault) but now that sensitivity is heightened and as this quote says, the tears flow so easily. This is probably the most "sensitive" for lack of a better word explanation of healing I have read in a long time, maybe ever. And I know that it starting with "my love" drew my heart to it as that is what Bill called me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 14, 2013 The friend I had lunch with this week, posted this tonight on FB. It is awe-inspiring And here is the poem from the piece: You will better understand the poem written by an MD - his experience with the dying---which is also in the piece once you read the short intro. Good to know there are those special physicians...especially for those of us who had some real losers on our team. Morbidity and Mortality Rounds By Rafael Campo (reprinted with permission of author) Forgive me, body before me, for this. Forgive me for my bumbling hands, unschooled in how to touch: I meant to understand what fever was, not love. Forgive me for my stare, but when I look at you, I see myself laid bare. Forgive me, body, for what seems like calculation when I take a breath before I cut you with my knife, because the cancer has to be removed. Forgive me for not telling you, but I’m no poet. Please forgive me, please. Forgive my gloves, my callous greeting, my unease— you must not realize I just met death again. Forgive me if I say he looked impatient. Please, forgive me my despair, which once seemed more like recompense. Forgive my greed, forgive me for not having more to give you than this bitter pill. Forgive: for this apology, too late, for those like me whose crimes might seem innocuous and yet whose cruelty was obvious. Forgive us for these sins. Forgive me, please, for my confusing heart that sounds so much like yours. Forgive me for the night, when I sleep too, beside you under the same moon. Forgive me for my dreams, for my rough knees, for giving up too soon. Forgive me, please, for losing you, unable to forgive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted July 14, 2013 Report Share Posted July 14, 2013 Thank you Mary. Beautiful. fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 14, 2013 About sleep deprivation. Grief especially on the heels of years of poor sleep during care giving has major ramification not only on how we deal with life but how we deal with our grief. This piece lays some of those out for us so if sleep is an issue, getting assistance via supplements, meditation, bedtime routine, or if all else fails (and only if all else fails...in my opinion) some medicine... http://www.huffingtonpost.com/stanford-center-for-sleep-sciences-and-medicine/sleep-deprivation_b_3536674.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeeU Posted July 14, 2013 Report Share Posted July 14, 2013 Informative article, Mary. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 14, 2013 Thank you, Dee. Nice to see you here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 14, 2013 http://ptbertram.wordpress.com/ This piece was written by a gal whose blog I started reading right after Bill died. Within a couple of weeks, it became clear that her husband and mine died on the very same day within hours of each other. We started communicating and I continue to follow her blog. I have also read her book about his death. I thought this one was worth posting (not that many of her blog posts are not worth reading...they are) and so I pass it on to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 16, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 16, 2013 This is a powerful and short segment from Super Soul Sunday (Gary Zukav and Oprah) in which she quotes his book: When my personality come fully to serve (be aligned with) the energy of my soul, and I let my soul be the guide, that is when I am the most powerful....Gary Zukav http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/15/gary-zukav-authentic-power-oprah_n_3587661.html?ir=GPS+for+the+Soul He also recites this poem. I discovered it when I was 20 as I roamed the stacks at my college library looking for myself. I have neve forgotten it. “I Am Not I" By Juan Ramón Jiménez Translated By Robert Bly I am not I. I am this one walking beside me whom I do not see, whom at times I manage to visit, and whom at other times I forget; who remains calm and silent while I talk, and forgives, gently, when I hate, who walks where I am not, who will remain standing when I die. Gary adds: You find the parts of your personality that do not want goodness and truth, become familiar with them in order to recognize them when they come up, and you do not act on them. I think this is a great reminder that our beloveds live on and that our task is to align our personalities with our souls- i.e. become centered and on purpose...at least it is what I am about. It is there that I do the most good and am most at peace. I believe this includes walking through our grief as muddy as our feet might get...and know somehow there is a place of peace ahead...that we will learn how to weave our pain into the fiber of our lives and find peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 16, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 16, 2013 Transcending Loss: Understanding the lifelong impact of grief What if you knew that your loved one was watching over you? What if you were certain that his or her presence was with you all of the time and that your love was unshakeable, stronger than death? Be open to sensing, intuiting, and being with the profound energy of love beyond form. My response: I DO know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 17, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 17, 2013 Most, if not all, of us have learned the contents of this piece the hard way...by experiencing loss. But this piece has some wisdom in it for now, as we grieve, and for the future when we may have to come face to face with our own or someone else's illness and/or death. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/judith-johnson/sudden-critical-illness_b_3600283.html?utm_source=Alert-blogger&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Email%2BNotifications Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 17, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 17, 2013 To help you sleep. This could be helpful to put on a tape or iPod and play it until you memorize the steps. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/15/meditation-in-action-mindfulness-sleep_n_3586716.html?utm_hp_ref=gps-for-the-soul&ir=GPS%20for%20the%20Soul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 17, 2013 Report Share Posted July 17, 2013 Since my allergy reaction, my problem isn't sleeping, it's staying awake! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 17, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 17, 2013 Since my allergy reaction, my problem isn't sleeping, it's staying awake! Are you talking about the meds you use making you sleepy? Not good, of course. I have never had allergies and always have felt sad for those who do. Bill was allergic to hydrocarbons and to seasonal changes to whatever gets in the air and to mold. His head would fill up instantly if we even walked past a candle shop that wreaked of perfumes. I could wear Clinique's cologne but not much else. Living with him was the first time I ever lived with anyone who had allergies and my heart went out to him and you and those who deal with these. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted July 17, 2013 Report Share Posted July 17, 2013 Thank you, Mary, for referencing Judith Johnson's article, When Critical Illness or Death Catches You By Surprise. It's excellent, and one well worth sharing (as I intend to do ). Her article on acceptance (Acceptance: The First Law of Spirit) is one of the best I've read on the topic. Gold nuggets for sure! ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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